Coming to Terms
by UConn Fan
Summary: The arrival of Baby Bristow . . .
1. Default Chapter

Title: This Just In  
Author: UConn Fan  
E-mail: LoveUConnBasketball@yahoo.com  
Summary: Sydney's life is about to change forever . . .   
Authors Note: I am soooo unbelievably frustrated with Ff.net, and upon noticing that I, being an idiot, had  
somehow posted my chapters in the wrong order, decided to repost the entire thing from the beginning.  
Please please please, as always, feedback. Also thank you to anyone who sent me feedback or told me  
that the link for Chapter 4 was broken. Also, this was inspired by Jennifer Garner talking to Melissa  
Rivers at some award show . . just wanted to mention that.  
  
Sydney sat in the banquet hall watching Francie and Charlie happily gliding across the dance floor as the band played on. It was hard to believe that her former roommate and best friend was celebrating their one year wedding anniversary, and that she herself had been working to take down SD-6 for nearly two and a half years . . and Danny had been gone for nearly three. It seemed like an eternity and yet no time at all.   
  
". . . and it is long term . . "  
  
Vaughn's words rang through her head as she shook her head and grinned at only a joke she knew. She had been insane to think she could take down SD-6 in a couple of months . . well, she had honestly thought it wouldn't take longer then a few weeks. Everything had changed, and just as she thought she understood her life, it got even more complicated.  
  
First she was working for the good guys, SD-6 and was happily engaged to Danny . . . then Danny was gone and she was suddenly working for the CIA, her stomach twisting whenever she saw Sloane, a man she had once nearly adored . . . her once perfect image of her Mother, a perfect Mother who made the best birthday cakes and always knew how to make ouchies better, was shattered. Her Mother was a horrible person . . a person who killed the Father of one of the most important people in her life. . .   
  
Those were just some of the changes that had happened to her over the last few years . . . things had become more complicated - Dixon had almost been killed on more then one occasion, and the temptation to tell him the truth grew with each mission. She had finally graduated with her Masters, and of course she had been there proudly watching her best friend get married a year ago.  
  
Now her life was about to change again . . drastically. Sydney glanced at Will, who was sitting across the table with her and yet deep in conversation with some lawyer from Charlie's firm. Francie and Charlie were still dancing, still locked into a world only they inhabited. She wanted to tell them - three of her closest friends in the world - all of her secrets. But this one in particular needed to be told the soonest. They would probably be the only people in the world who'd be happy for her . . .  
  
Of course they'd have questions . . . Will would most likely go alpha-male and ask a million questions about who . . . and of course Sydney had her own questions about how. Of course she knew how, she thought as the sheer memories made her cheeks blush, but after all that had happened to her . . after everything that had been done and given to her in over nearly the last decade, she was sure it was an impossibility.  
  
Sloane would be furious, and probably have a million questions for the security section - probably have her trailed even more closely, she thought with a disgusted shake of her head. Her Father would undoubtably have mixed reactions . . . she was sure the higher ups at the CIA would have plenty to say .. and Vaughn . . well, she couldn't even bring herself to imagine his reaction. Dissapointment? Disgust? maybe a small bit of joy?   
  
"Hey, Syd, are you okay?" Will asked, his question shaking her out of her thoughts. She shook her head and gave him a small smile.  
  
"Yeah, I'm okay." she insisted quietly as he studied her briefly, obviously somewhat concerned, before returning to his conversation. "I think." she whispered to herself before taking a sip of her water and standing up. This is it, she thought, I'm going to do it.  
  
"Syd, where are you going?" Francie asked as she and Charlie returned to the table.   
  
"I just forgot, I'm supposed to call an associate of mine . . you know, we're handling a huge bankrupcy case right now." she explained, using the first excuse that popped into her head as she shrugged.  
  
"On a Saturday night?" Will questioned skeptically.  
  
"You know how dedicated we are to our work." she said with a shrug. "I'm just going to go call him, before it gets to late . . then I think I'm going to go home and go to bed."  
  
"Are you sure?" Charlie asked, also obviously concerned as Sydney forced a smile.  
  
"I'm sure." she said. "Congratulations you too." she whispered, hugging and kissing the couple of honor.  
  
"Thanks for coming." Francie said, smiling at her.  
  
"I wouldn't of missed it for the world." she promised. "Bye!" she called, walking out of the restaurant and to her car.  
  
  
  
Sydney stood gazing out at the pier and at the lights that were on in the city across the water. It was nearly midnight and the usual Saturday night crowds were starting to dissapear. Mostly teenagers, the occasional older couple, out relaxing on a Saturday night in August. Syd watched them over her shoulder, subconciously looking for either Vaughn or a tail, whichever she spotted first. She had been careful though, and she was nearly certain that she hadn't been followed. That was imperative for this, that much she knew, that their conversation be kept far far away from SD-6 for the time being.  
  
She recognized his footsteps as he approached the pier and stood a few feet away from her, far enough so they looked as if they weren't speaking to anyone who might be watching. They stood in silence for a few minutes, she felt him sneak a concerned glance at her. Sydney continued to study the water and listen to the sounds of the oblivious citizens who floated around them . . . citizens who were able to go on and make something of their personal, private lives without worrying about how it could possibly affect national security.  
  
"I was starting to get worried about you." Vaughn finally spoke in a gentle yet stern voice, conveying to her just how sincerely concerned he was.  
  
"I'm sorry. I lost track of time . . with the party and all." she explained, shrugging as she saw him nod out of the corner of her eye.  
  
"How was the party?"  
  
"Beautiful. Almost as beautiful as the wedding. I swear, with Charlie, Francie . . she just sparkles." she finished, smiling at the thought.  
  
"They sound like wonderful people." he said softly. She knew he wished he could of been at the party with her . . and probably even with her at Francie's wedding a year ago . . . she wished he could of been too. She knew Francie and Charlie would like him, and Will would eventually get over his fantasies of her and like him too. Then again, Sydney couldn't imagine someone not liking the company of Michael Vaughn. "Are you okay?" he asked as her face noticably paled.  
  
"No." she said, taking a deep breathe. "I don't . . I don't think you're going to like what I'm going to tell you." she said softly. It broke her heart to know that this wasn't going to be the blessing that it would be for most people . . . . and in all sincerity, after all she had put her body through over the past decade, it was in many ways a miracle for her. . .   
  
"Whenever we meet out here, it's usually not good news." he reminded her in a gruff mummble, the wind ruffling his hair as she looked over to briefly study his profile. He looked tense and worried as he studied the water. The crowds passed around them oblivious, and she wondered not for the first time if he wished the two of them could be just two unknown people in a crowd. "Syd, I really don't want to have to guess-" he started.  
  
"I'm pregnant." she said softly, cutting him off. Sydney couldn't even bring herself to look at him, but she could feel his eyes upon her as she studied the lights across the pier. "I don't know what I expect you to say . . or do." she whispered a few minutes later, needing to break the uncomfortable silence that had fallen between them. Silences in Vaughn's company had always been something she enjoyed . . it was usually a companionable, safe silence, but that was not that case on that night.  
  
"Who else knows?" he asked finally.  
  
"No one." she confessed. "I had . . I had to tell you first. I guess telling you . . telling you makes it real. I just . . I don't know who to tell . . who not to tell. I mean, I can't tell my Father or Sloane-"  
  
"You have to." he cut her off as she dared to lock eyes with him. His green eyes were firm and showed no signs of giving in. "You *have* to Sydney, this is a child we're talking about-"  
  
"I know what we're talking about!" she hissed. "What am I supposed to do? retire from the CIA and tell Sloane I need out of SD-6-"  
  
"If that's what it takes, yes." Vaughn stated, nodded. To him there was no questions involved, there was no way he was going to willingly let her expose the unborn child to even the slightest risk . . he shuddered to think of what the unborn might of been exposed to before Sydney realized she was pregnant.  
  
"For what? So I can say I've spent the last two and a half years of my life doing nothing? working to take down the people I despise just to quit? What about Danny's death? how can I let that be in vain?" she asked him in an angry hiss. She knew she had crossed a line as his eyes shut at the mention of her late fiance. Vaughn turned his gaze out onto the water, wondering just how cold it would be if he dived in right then and there. "I'm sorry . . . I just don't know if I can walk away."  
  
"Then you don't walk away, but you stop going on these damned missions. You average a few a month, that's not healthy for you or the baby." he reminded her, still not able to look at her. Vaughn knew how much Sydney had loved Danny - and her slip of the tongue had just been a bitter reminder straight into his heart. A reminder of what he could never be to her, no matter how long he'd know her . . no matter what became of them in the future . . no matter how wonderful of a life they might have together . . he couldn't compete with Danny. He couldn't compete with Sydney's nearly perfect memories of the deceased doctor. "Do you want this?"  
  
"Yes . . no . . I don't know." she admited, trying not to cry as she ran her fingers through her hair and let out a heavy sigh. "I never thought I could . . I was so sure I couldn't that I never even . . " she trailed off.   
  
They stood there in silence, neither sure what to say. Sydney hadn't meant to hurt him with her reference to Danny, it just slipped. Vaughn, on the other hand, was still reeling from her news and trying to determine how to keep her safe. This was something neither had expected or planned for . . during his years as Sydney's handler, Vaughn had invented several very intricate and intelligent ways to keep Sydney safe and out of harm . . but this was one situation he had never dreamed of.  
  
"Vaughn . . I'm so so sorry. . " she whispered, looking over at him with tearful eyes. Vaughn again wished they had met in the warehouse, because it broke his heart to see her there, so obviously in pain, and to not be able to take her into his arms.   
  
"Don't be sorry Sydney." he reassured her quietly, meaning it. "This isn't your fault . . it's no one's fault . . and I'm not mad." he finished softly as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a tissue, handing it to her with an awkward look on his face.   
  
"Thank you." she said, taking his tissue and wiping her eyes. She ws more emotional then she usually was, and she hated it. "I just . . I wanted to tell you first . . and even . . even if things aren't the way they are . . I have no one else to talk to." she said, the tears continuing their trek down her pale face as she tried in vain to stop them.   
  
"That's what I'm here for," Vaughn whispered to her softly, daring to make brief eye contact, trying to convey his feelings to her as she nodded. "I'll schedule a meeting with Devlin . . and you . . you need to talk to Sloane."  
  
"No, no I can't-" she started, panic rising in her throat. Sydney never remembered her fear rising as fast as it was at that moment.   
  
"Syd, you *have* to." he said, leaning over to grab her and and look her in the eyes. For a brief moment it mattered very little to him who saw them, all that mattered was that Sydney understand the importance of the situation. "Promise me, it is *so* important. They can't and won't do anything to you. Your Father won't let that happen, and anyway Sloane-"  
  
"Thinks of me like a daughter, I know." she finished for him, letting out a disgusted snort as he gave her a small smile.   
  
"You have to tell them though, be honest."  
  
"Completely honest?" she asked playfully with a raised eyebrow as he let out a small chuckle.  
  
"You know what I mean." Vaughn said as she nodded and her expression turned serious.  
  
"What do I tell my friends?"  
  
"Whatever you want. I know you must want to tell Francie and Charlie . . and Will and Amy." he finished as she nodded.   
  
"They're going to ask . . ask who the Father is." Sydney said softly as Vaughn released her hand and looked out at the water. "What . . what do I say?"  
  
"Whatever you want to say." he said softly, not able to look at her.   
  
Michael Vaughn wasn't a dumb man, he knew when everything started to happen that this was never going to completely be the life he wanted . . . he had grown up seeing how much his Father and Mother loved eachother, how devoted they were to eachother, and in awe of how strong his Mother was for picking up the pieces without his Father. Vaughn had also had a wonderful relationship with his Father, and continued to have one with his Mother. . . . his was close to his family, including his older sister, and he remembered the joy in his brother in law's face when his sister and brother in law announced that they'd be having a family. Vaughn's eyes shut tightly, knowing he'd never be able to tell his family his good news . . or see what sort of reaction Jack Bristow would have to the news . . . it didn't seem fair to him, to them, or to the unborn life growing inside of Sydney, but he also knew there was very little he could do to change it.  
  
"I don't want to do this alone." she said softly. He looked at her out of the corner of his eyes, her expression broke her heart.   
  
"I don't want you to do this alone either . . but I don't know any other way right now." he whispered. "This isn't . . this isn't how I planned this Syd." he whispered quietly, trying to apologize for a crime he hadn't even commited. It wasn't his fault that he couldn't be there for her, holding her hand through all of this, and he knew that she knew that. However that didn't make him feel any better.  
  
"I'm so . . I'm so scared." Sydney admitted, feeling like a lost child as she held the tissue tightly against her face. "How can I have a child when I know how horrible a world this is? when I know how horrible . . " she said, the tears cutting her off as she let herself cry briefly before working to compose herself. "How do I have this child and explain to it one day that his or her grandmother killed his or her grandfather?" she asked him in a childlike voice, desperately seeking an answer.  
  
"I don't know Syd . . I don't know." he said softly. Sydney reached out and took his hand, needing to be connected to him for some brief moment. "But .. when the time comes, we'll figure it out." he promised her as she looked at him, needing him to confirm the tiniest of hopes she had in her heart. "We'll figure it out together." he restated. "Maybe we can even take the baby to a Kings game one day." he teased in a low voice as she laughed.  
  
Vaughn's heart lifted, no matter how brief, he was pleased he had made her smile. She was probably his best friend, and he knew that she was hers. So much between them was still unspoken, so much relied simply on looks and brief touches, and yet neither one felt as if they lacked anything. He knew he wanted more of her in his life, he was greedy about that, but would take what he could get. He knew he took what he could get because when he was with her, she fufilled everything and anything he could ever want.  
  
"You need to go home." he said softly as Sydney let go of his hand and nodded. "Just go home . . rest. Monday I'll arrange a meeting with Devlin and . . and I really think you need to tell Sloane."  
  
"Okay." she said softly, nodded. "You'll-"   
  
"Yes." he said, cutting her off before she could even say the words. Vaughn knew his agent well enough to know what she was going to ask - he'd call her via Joey's Pizza if he needed anything urgent and if it was personal . . well, he always found away to talk to her about that too. "Take care of yourself." he whispered, wanting to say so much more then that. Sydney nodded and walked away from the pier, heading towards her car.  
  
  
  
Sunday night. Sydney sat in her living room with Francie, Charlie, Will and Amy. The siblings were bickering over the value of Will's Scrabble word. It was a relaxing evening, and even though she certainly enjoyed the company of her friends part of her wished that Vaughn was there . . . that she could share the simple things in her life with him, and that he could share the simple things in his life with her. She trusted so much in one person, the scope of her honesty rose and set on him, and yet she knew so very little about him. All the professional information she knew, sure, but aside from that, so much was still a mystery.  
  
"You know, it's watching these two that make me only want to have one child." Francie said to Sydney with an amused grin. Sydney could do little else but smile back at her, not entirely sure how to take Francie's remark. It had been nearly a day since she had told Vaughn, and he hadn't contacted her for professional or personal reasons - not that she had expected him to, but part of her was still dissapointed. "Are you okay Syd?"   
  
"I'm fine." she insisted, smiling at Francie. By then Amy and Will had finished their arguing and Charlie was working on forming a word. She watched her friend and smiled, yet a thought still nagged at her. She was worried about telling her boss . . and terrified of telling Devlin, although she knew by silent agreement that no one would be told the child was her handlers . . . but that wasn't the thought had haunted her all day. . .  
  
How could she be a mother when all she ever knew about her own Mother was a lie? Would she lie to her own child the way her parents had to her? Would her child ever know it's Father? Would her child ever be able to be as proud and in awe of his or her Father, just as she knew Vaughn had grown up admiring the late William Vaughn.   
  
"Syd? Syd you okay?" Will asked concerned, waving a hand in front of her face as Sydney shook her head and saw Francie, Charlie, Amy and Will all looking at her in great concern.  
  
"Excuse me." she said, standing and rushing to the bathroom.  
  
"See Will, I told you that new cologne was horrible." Amy teased as Will gave her a look that could kill.   
  
"Is she okay?" Will asked Francie, who just shrugged and walked to the bathroom. She stood outside the bathroom door, hearing Sydney get sick followed by the sound of the water running.  
  
"Are you okay in there Syd?" Francie called, concerned. Her friend hadn't been acting right for a few days and she was beginning to become seriously concerned. Maybe Wills right, Francie mused, and Sydney should just quit the bank.  
  
"I'm okay." she called through the door, splashing cool water on her face. Tommorow morning she was going to have to tell Sloane . . . and of course Dixon, although she was hoping to find some support in her partner. This was, afterall, a miracle. Dixon had a daughter, she hoped he would understand and appreciate that.  
  
"Do you need anything?" Francie continued, still not comfortable with leaving Sydney alone.  
  
"I'm fine, really." she insisted, opening the door and smiling at her friend. It was a lie that passed nearly effortlessly off of her tongue. The last thing she was at that very moment was fine. It was absurd, she told herself silently as she joined her friends in the living room. The thought of life-threatening missions, betraying not only very dangerous people but a very dangerous group didn't scare her at all, but the thought of having a child was completely numbing.  
  
Sydney lost to Will at Scrabble - a rare occurence that only made Francie even more concerned. Sydney's mind kept wandering, wondering why she was the one who kept getting hurt because she was doing the right thing. It seemed to her that even her own Mother, who as much as she hated to think about it was simply a horrible person, had had it easier then she did.  
  
"Syd, are you sure your alright?" Francie asked one more time as Sydney walked her guests out.   
  
"I will be." she reassured her friend, hugging Francie. "Promise."  
  
"Okay. If you need anything, just call, okay?" she said as Sydney nodded. "I'll call you tommorow?"  
  
"Sure." Sydney agreed, smiling and waving at everyone one more time before walking back into the house. "I really need to get a cat." she said to herself as she picked up the Scrabble board and realized how quiet it was.   
  
Sometime later Sydney sat in her bedroom, watching TV with her hands resting protectively on her stomach. Her own thoughts were such a jumble that she had no idea which emotion to consider first. How could she risk the life of her unborn miracle? Vaughn had been right there, as much as she didn't want to admit it, she couldn't jeopardize this. Maybe a family had never been something she'd given much thought to, but now that she had a chance at it, no matter how bleak it looked, she wasn't sure she could let it go.  
  
How could she have a child though, another part of her questioned, when she knew first hand the ugliness in the world. For heaven sakes, this baby's maternal grandmother killed it's paternal grandfather - how could she possibly explain that to a child one day? Sydney wondered if she could one day look into her child's eyes - briefly wondering if the baby would have Vaughn's beautiful green eyes - and lie to it? Sew a yarn about what she did for a living . . lead her child to believe that it's Grandfather sold airplane parts . . . would her child be led to believe it's Father had abandoned them? She vigorously shook her head at the thought, she wouldn't let that happen, and she knew Vaughn would never let that happen either.  
  
The unborn child represented everything that she was never supposed to want . . and certainly never supposed to have. Sydney didn't know if she could walk away from SD-6 - she got such a rush from taking down SD-6, from the excitement of knowing she was working for the good guys. In an odd way, the absolute terror of her job excited her. Danny . . she had loved him, and she knew her references to him hurt Vaughn dearly. At the same time she wasn't sure she could just walk away from her quest, it had become one of her lifes passions to take down the horrible people who had ruined her life. However she didn't want to just give up any chances she might have at a normal life.  
  
A normal life with Vaughn . . . Danny was gone, and despite the guilt she still carried around, she had grieved enough to know that it was okay to want to love someone again . . to see a lifetime with someone other then Danny. She had spent countless afternoons at Danny's graveside, talking to him inside of her head, hoping somehow he'd hear her. Danny had loved her though, as Francie had quietly reminded her so many times, and would only want her happiness.  
  
Sydney also knew that she didn't have it in her to willingly hurt her baby. . . her baby with a man that she loved. She had never told him that, she realized with a shake of her head. He had never told her either, but she never once questioned his feelings, and she knew he didn't question hers. Their jobs however left little time to speak or act upon any emotions they had, and instead their personal relationship was brief, passionate and wonderful. It was also a burden - they both knew they risked their lives when they met for work. Bringing in any sort of personal relationship only served to complicate things, but even with that in mind she didn't regret it.  
  
I'm going to go through with this, she vowed silently to the tiny life living inside of her. Sydney was going to do the right thing - she had absolutely no idea what that was, but she knew it involved telling Sloane and Devlin very soon . . and dealing with what she was sure would be negative reprocussions for her actions. She was going to do the right thing for her child, she had no real choice, despite her intense desire to bring down SD-6, the love for her unborn child already ran deeper then she imagined.   
  
Some people would be happy for her . . Vaughn was happy, at least as happy as she could of expected. Sydney wondered if their child would ever get to meet Vaughn's Mother or sister - two women he continued to be close to and love even at that point in his life. Francie and Charlie would support her, and she knew Will would as well although he'd be full of questions. It was going to be alright . . at least that's what she convinced herself before she rolled over and went to sleep.  
  
  
  
The next morning Sydney walked confidently into SD-6, appearing to her co-workers as if nothing was amiss. Of course no one could possibly know that she had had very little sleep the night before and had spent most of the early morning and sunrise hours sick in her bathroom. She wasn't sure if she was sick over the pregnancy or over her nerves, but either way it had made for a miserable early morning.  
  
"Morning Syd," Dixon said, smiling at her as she approached her work area.  
  
"Hey," she said softly, forcing a small smile as a look of concern crossed her partners face.  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
"Yeah . . I'm fine." she insisted, sitting down at her desk.   
  
"Sloane wants to see us in his office in about . . twenty minutes." he informed her as she nodded, smiling back at Dixon and pretending to get to work. In reality she was forming a plan in her head, a plan of how exactly she'd tell Dixon and Sloane that she was pregnant. "Syd? Syd, are you ready?" he asked, waving a hand in front of her face as she looked up at him.  
  
"Huh?" she asked, suddenly confused. He said they had twenty minutes . . but a glance at her watch told her her twenty minutes had already evaporated. "Oh, yes, of course." she said, standing up and following him into the conference room.  
  
Everything looked so . . normal. Sloane was sitting at the head of the table, Marshall was preparing and her Father and Sloane were speaking quietly. This was how the meeting room had looked for nearly a decade, and Dixon sat down comfortably as he did at every meeting. Her heart sunk - her poor partner still thought he was working for the good guys, and in many ways it hurt her to know she couldn't tell him the truth. Afterall, Dixon had always been wonderful to her.  
  
"Sydney, would you care to join us?" Sloane asked as Sydney stood there, looking at all of them. This is it, she realized, part of her hoping against hope that telling Sloane and her Father in front of Marshall and Dixon would save her from any negative backlash.  
  
"Actually . . before we start the meeting, I was wondering if I could say something?" she asked carefully as Sloane got an odd expression on his face but nodded.  
  
"Of course Sydney. You can sit as well, you know we don't bite here." he said as ways of a joke as she forced a smile. No, she thought, you don't bite - you just kill.  
  
"I just wanted everyone to know . . . that I'm pregnant." she said, any elaborate plans she had for announcing it slipped out the window as the words slipped over her tongue. The expressions on the faces of the four men in the room were visible shock - although for their credit, Marshall and Dixon looked pleasantly surprised. "Obviously, I won't be able to take on so many missions any more . . . " she said awkwardly, trying to break the tension.  
  
"Congratulations Ms. Bristow." Marshall said finally, smiling widely as Sydney as she tried not to cry, instead giving him a gracious smile.  
  
"Congratulations Syd." Dixon said, smiling at her. Obviously he would be doing missions alone for awhile, Sydney knew he knew that, but despite that he was happy for her.   
  
"Well Sydney, this certainly comes as a shock." Sloane said, giving her a smile. It was a smile that made a chill go down Sydney's back - a smile that you gave someone before you killed them. It was one she knew well - she had given it to people many times. "We'll find you something to do for us here in Los Angeles for the duration of your pregnancy."  
  
"Thank you." she said softly, not sure what else to say.   
  
"Congratulations, of course." Her Father said in a emotionless tone. She looked at him and she recognized the look in his eyes. He knew. Of course he knows you idiot, an inner voice scolded her as she struggled to remain calm. She just hoped that no negative actions would be taken against Vaughn - she would do anything in her power to protect him, just as he knew he did the same for her.  
  
"Your next mission, Sydney, was actually going to be here in Los Angeles. Quite simple, if your still interested." Sloane said as she nodded. Vaughn would be furious, but she couldn't completely walk away just yet . . . and it Sloane thought it was simple, she was bound to think it was juvenile.  
  
Sloane stood and started to talk. It was a simple mission, there was a party at the home of a local diplomat who had a code that SD-6 wanted. All she had to do was get into the party, mingle with the guests, then she had to somehow create a diversion so that she could slip away into the library (of course she had to unscramble the code on the libraries keypad - nothing she hadn't done before) and get the code out of the man's Bible before making her way out. It was a simple mission in all regards, especially since Sloane didn't think there would be any armed guards on the property.  
  
"See, simple." Sloane finished, giving her a sleazy smile. Somehow she doubted Vaughn would think it would be so simple, and she knew she was in for a battle when he found out she accepted a mission. "Sydney, when are you due?" he asked, sitting back down as they all looked at her. Of course Sydney knew he really wanted to ask who the Father was, but he didn't dare - at least not in front of Marshall or Dixon.  
  
"April . . April 27th." she said quietly. It was nearly September, and the doctor had told her she was just about six weeks and therefore due in late April.   
  
"Well, that's simply wonderful." he said in a voice that was so sweet it made her nauseous. "I was born in late April." he informed them proudly. Great, she thought, with my luck you'll share the same birthday as my baby. Since she couldn't think of a proper reply, she just smiled at him. "Well, anyway, the party is tommorow night, so you have plenty of time to prepare." he said as both Sydney and Dixon stood, nodding. She couldn't bring herself to look at her Father, too scared to see what his eyes might hold.  
  
"Thank you sir." Dixon said as they started to walk out the door.  
  
"Oh, Sydney?" Sloane called as Sydney stopped and turned around expectantly. "Why don't you take the rest of the day off, go home and rest." he said with a smile as she nodded, nearly glad from the rest. "And consider Arvin for a name." he suggested with a smile as she forced herself to smile and not vomit, nodding one more time before walking out of his office.  
  
"Congratulations Syd, I mean it." Dixon said, hugging her briefly as they walked out of the office. "If you need anything, you know you can always just ask. I've been there, I've experienced the pregnancy thing with my wife." he reminded her as she smiled and nodded.  
  
"Thank you." she said, smiling at him.  
  
"Syd . . I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry . .but the Father?" he asked cautiously and quietly as she gathered up her things, preparing to leave for the day.  
  
"He . . . he knows. He's wonderful . . I just . . "  
  
"I understand, it's a struggle to keep work and personal life apart. Congratulations though, to both of you."   
  
"Thank you." she said, smiling at him as she started to walk out.  
  
Well, she thought as she got into her car. It could of been worse - four people knew, two were happy for her, one was probably very angry and Sloane was working under the pretense of being happy for her. Yes, she thought with certainty, it could of been worse.   
  
It had been simple . . almost too simple.  
  
  
  
Vaughn hadn't had a peaceful night either. He had tossed and turned all night, worried about Syd . . . about the unborn child . . . about everything. He knew compared to Sydney he had really nothing at all to do, but he was a barrel of nerves as he sat in his office, preparing himself to call and schedule a meeting with Devlin.  
  
"Hey Mike," Weiss said, sauntering in and sitting down in Vaughn's office. "What's wrong with Bristow?"  
  
"What?" he asked, looking surprised to hear Weiss mention the agent.  
  
"Sydney, what's wrong with Sydney?"  
  
"Nothing. Nothing's wrong with Sydney, why do you ask?" he questioned, hoping he didn't sound as paranoid as he knew he felt.  
  
"Just whenever you have that look on your face it usually means something happened with Bristow." he said, shrugging. "What's wrong? Long weekend with the girlfriend?" he teased. Weiss had decided, after Vaughn had turned down several offers for blind dates with *very* attractive women, that he must have a secret girlfriend that he wasn't letting anyone know about.  
  
"Something like that." he admited with a sigh. Weiss was a good friend of his, even though it wasn't encouraged to socialize with other agents they were still good friends. At least when it came to the basic things in life - work, women and sports. "Did you ever want to get married? have a family?" he asked Eric.  
  
"No . . no, not really. Why? is that what this is about? the girlfriend pressuring you for a ring?"  
  
"No . . no, not exactly." he said with a sigh. "Do you ever want to get married one day, settle down?" he asked curiously as Weiss' eyebrow raised curiously.  
  
"Seriously?" he asked, not believing the question. "No, no not really. Why, do you want to get married and she doesn't?" he questioned.  
  
"Damn it, you really never give up, do you?" Vaughn questioned him, slightly amused and slightly irritated.   
  
"That's why the CIA pays me the big bucks." he said   
  
"Have you ever wanted someone you can't have?"  
  
"Oh yeah . . Cindy Crawford . . . Sharon Stone . . that chick from Pearl Harbor . . . "  
  
"Kate Beckinsale?" he questioned with a raised eyebrow.  
  
"No, the one who played that nurse Sandra . . man, she was hot." he said in a dreamy manner as Vaughn rolled his eyes. "But we're not talking about me, we're talking about. You're a strapping senior officer at the CIA, who wouldn't want to date you?" he said, only half teasing.  
  
"I'm an political analyst." he corrected Eric, refering to his cover.   
  
"Okay, so you want someone you can't have - that's okay though, this problem has been overcome before. Remember Romeo and Juliet?" Weiss reminded him as Vaughn's faced scrunched, remembering the fate of Shakespeares most famous characters. "Sorry, not the best example."  
  
"It doesn't really matter," he said, reaching out and picking up his phone, notioning for Eric to stay quiet. After pressing a few numbers, he was connected to the front desk and then asked to be put through to Devlin's office.   
  
"Director Devlin's office."  
  
"Hello, yes, this is Senior Officer Michael Vaughn, I'd like to schedule a meeting with Director Devlin pertaining to Agent Sydney Bristow."  
  
"I'm sorry sir, Director Devlin is on vacation until next week." his secretary informed him as Vaughn's mouth almost dropped, wondering if the CIA director was even allowed a vacation. "If it's urgent I can schedule an appointment for you to meet with one of the Assistant Directors-"  
  
"No, no, I'll make an appointment for next week," he insisted, not wanting to be thrown into the lions den of an assistant director who didn't know him or Sydney's case.   
  
"Monday afternoon?"   
  
"Sure," he agreed, writing down the time before hanging up and looking at Weiss.  
  
"What the hell was that all about?"  
  
"Nothing," he said nonchalantly, not wanting to go into details with his friend, but at the same time feeling horrible for not sharing.  
  
"What, you decided to pay Devlin a social visit?" he asked, not believing a word of it. "What's going on with Bristow?" he asked again.  
  
"Just leave it alone Eric," he warned as Weiss nodded, knowing to stop before he seriously offended his friend.   
  
"Sorry man, didn't mean to step on any toes-"  
  
"No, no, it's okay, you didn't," he insisted, squeezing his eyes shut as he massaged the bridge of his nose, desperately trying to stop the migraine that was approaching. "I just didn't sleep well last night."  
  
"That's what women will do to you." he insisted, having decided he was a life-long bachelor and that women were simply too much trouble. "They're just . . put on this earth to drive us crazy."  
  
"It's not that bad." he insisted, wanting to defend not only Sydney but women in general - such as his Mother and sister, perfectly reasonable and good women.  
  
"Whatever. What are you doing tonight?" he asked.   
  
"I have plans."  
  
"With the mysterious girlfriend, of course."   
  
"Something like that," he agreed with a shrug, not wanting to completely lie to his friend.   
  
"Torture yourself all you want, but I'm telling you man, being a bachelor is the way to go." he insisted, standing up and walking out of the room before he could see Vaughn roll his eyes.  
  
Vaughn waited a few more minutes, glancing at the clock before he picked up his phone and dialed a number so familiar to him. He didn't even have to think before he dialed, his fingers just worked automatically, gracefully gliding over the numbers of Sydney's home phone number. He wondered briefly if she would be home, but let out a breath he didn't know he was holding when he heard her soft voice answering with a sleepy 'hello'.  
  
"Joeys Pizza?" he questioned, wondering if anyone actually bought this cover anymore. He knew that Francie and Will badgered her constantly about it, and he considered the possibility of changing their cover.  
  
"Sorry, wrong number," she replied a few moments later as he hung up the phone and started to gather his things. He never thought he'd look forward to meeting an agent in a cold warehouse cage on the bad side of town, but if Sydney was involved he was sure he'd be pretty happy anywhere.  
  
When he arrived at the warehouse he was surprised to see Syd's SUV already waiting. It was rare that she beat him there, and he hoped everything was okay. He'd been worried about her, he couldn't help it, especially since he was the only one who knew her secret - unless she had told Sloane, he mused, wondering how that meeting must of gone. Part of him knew that she needed to tell Sloane, and hoped she had so that she could stay somewhat safe, but part of him was equally terrified of the mans reaction.  
  
Vaughns footsteps were deliberately quiet as he walked into the warehouse towards the now familiar cage. Her face tipped up and a small smile crossed her face when she saw him approaching, and he couldn't help wondering if she wanted to be held by him as badly as he wanted to hold her. Just once he wanted to see Sydney, smiling and laughing, running towards him and flinging herself at him for a glorious hug - and he'd prefer the scene take place outside somewhere, in front of the whole damned world. It was cheesy, like those old romance movies his Mother used to make him watch and that he secretly enjoyed, but it was still a thought that he did sometimes dwell on, despite his best efforts not to.  
  
"Hey," he said, giving her a small smile as he stepped into the cage with her. She looked worried, but at the same time he thought he saw her relax just a little when she saw him. He knew it was impossible, given their circumstances, but he wanted Sydney to always feel safe with him, like he would protect her. Of course, he knew he'd give anything to protect her - not only because it was his job, but because of the unspoken feelings that he had developed over the course of their years working together. Their meetings were dangerous, but he still continued to hope she'd feel safe.  
  
"Hi," she said, giving out a sigh as he studied her for a second. Vaughn knew it was such an oxymoron, but she could be so strong sometimes but she also looked so delicate and without a doubt beautiful.   
  
"They're sending you on a mission." he said, pacing in front of her as she sat down on the rooms only chair, nodding. "Did you tell them?"  
  
"Yes, I told them. Sloane said they'd find something for me to do at the office in Los Angeles . . that and something about naming the baby Arvin." she mummbled as Vaughn raised an eyebrow and smirked.  
  
"Yeah, I don't think so." he mummbled in return as she smiled at him and they shared a small laugh at the thought. "I don't want you to go Syd," he said, stopping his pacing and standing with his hands on his foot. He knew he was going to come across sounding demanding, and maybe even controlling, but he thought considering the circumstances he had ever right to be both.  
  
"Your kidding. It's not even that big of a deal. Doesn't the CIA need and want this information-"  
  
"Yes, of course they do, but I don't think risking your life or the life of the baby is worth that much." he cut her off in a curt tone as she stood and slowly walked toward him.  
  
"Trust me. I promise I will do everything in my power to stay out of trouble. I generally try to anyway." she reminded him with a half smile as he had to smile back.   
  
"How did everyone react?" he asked quietly as her smile faded and she sat back down.  
  
"Dixon and Marshall are happy for me . . . Sloane is acting like he's happy, although I had to spend an extra ten minutes on my way here shaking my tail, so draw from that what you will . . ."  
  
"Your Father?" Vaughn questioned quietly.  
  
"He was there . . . I think he knows." she said in a fearful voice, raising her eyes to meet Vaughns.   
  
"It's going to be okay Syd," he reassured her, not knowing if his words were true but needing to say them anyway. "Really." he insisted, forcing a small smile as she nodded. "How are you feeling?"  
  
"Tired," she said, giving him a smile as he nodded sympathetically.   
  
"Is there anything I can do?" he asked, his mind drawing a blank. She smiled at him, obviously recognizing his attempt to try to help her. That's all he could do too, she knew as much, and she appreciated that it meant as much to him as it did to her.  
  
"No, there's nothing." she reassured him. "So, what's my countermission?" she asked, plunging head first into the work they still had before them.  
  
Fifteen minutes later, after listening to how she was to drop off the information near the party and taking the copy of the code that the CIA wanted SD-6 to have, Syd started to stand up, knowing she still had a full day ahead of her. Among other things, she was going to tell Francie, Charlie and Will that night when they came over for dinner, and she had other things to do as well. "What are your plans for tonight?" he asked. The party was the next night and she knew she needed to settle a few more things in her personal life before she could think of the mission before her.   
  
"I'm having Francie, Charlie and Will over for dinner." she explained as he nodded. Vaughn wished for what must of been the millionth time during the time he'd known her that he could be there for their casual dinners together, afterwards playing card games and laughing. He knew that one day, once SD-6 was taken down, he could possibly live that life . . but until then it would remain a dream. "I'm going to tell them tonight." Syd said softly as he studied her carefully.  
  
"I know . . I know you're doing this alone tonight," he said softly, not able to meet her eyes. "Just . . just know your not in this alone." he said, knowing he sounded akward but hoping she understood the sentiments behind it. Judging by the soft smile on her face, he was sure that she did.  
  
"I know." she said, looking at him, obviously needing something from him but afraid to ask. Vaughn looked into her eyes and stepped closer to her, giving into the temptation by taking her into his arms. He found it briefly ironic - the one thing that seemed to calm her was the one thing that had caused this problem in the first place.   
  
"You're going to bring them down Syd, I promise you, we're already closer then we thought we could be at this point. You're going to be fine." he reassured her, smelling her hair as the memories of their stolen moments invaded his mind.   
  
"I know, I do know." she assured him, stepping back and wiping away the few stray tears that had fallen. "Damn hormones," she mummbled, causing them both to laugh.   
  
"If you need to talk . . you have my number . . " he trailed off as she smiled and nodded.  
  
"I do." she said, reaching out and squeezing his hand, looking into his eyes for just a few moments longer then would be considered appropriate, before letting go and quietly walking out of the warehouse, leaving him behind. 


	2. Coming to Terms Chapter 2

Title: Coming to Terms (Chapter 2)  
Author: UConn Fan (Michele)  
E-Mail: LoveUConnBasketball@yahoo.com  
  
Authors Note: Hi again! I'm seventeen now! Yay!! Yankees lost . . boo :( (poor Derek looked SOOO sad . . . but now my four year old half sister believes every professional baseball player MUST be Derek, it's so cute). . . anyway, I just LOVE this new season! I can't WAIT until the 10/13 episode (ironic, CC's bday . .) when V&W meet! YAY!   
PLEASE NOTE: This was written PRIOR to MANY MANY MANY late season 1 episodes. Sydney's Mother has not been found. Will is still oblivious to Syd's true occupation. Charlie isn't a creep (obviously, they're married). It's all pretty obvious. Please don't hold the timeline against me. I had no idea of all the twists and turns JJ was going to make. Please just enjoy the story as it, and please please PLEASE give me feedback! :) I just LOVE everyone that has!  
  
It was already early evening by the time Vaughn walked into his quiet house, the sound of his footsteps the only thing he heard. Fingering his mail, he smiled at a letter from his niece. Dropping the rest of the mail on the coffeetable, he continued to walk into the kitchen, not paying attention to where he was going. Just as he was starting to open the envelope, the sound of someone clearing their throat made his blood go cold.  
Jack Bristow stood tall and proud in front of Michael's kitchen table. Swallowing hard, he recognized the look on the senior Bristow's face - dissaproval, dissapointment, and an unhidden undercurrent of anger. "Am I to assume that you are aware of Sydney's . . condition?" He asked, his tone so cold that the younger man flinched.  
"Yes." He answered, hoping he didn't sound as nervous as he felt.  
"What were you thinking Mr. Vaughn? You are Sydney's case handler: Your job is to keep her safe!" He snapped, his face twisting with anger. "Are you aware of the new set of complications?"  
"Yes."   
"Your actions were irresponsible and will only result in grave consequences for both of you! If you really cared for my daughter-"  
"I do care for your daughter!" He snapped. Michael knew he didn't have nearly the experience that Jack did, and he knew that Sydney's pregnancy was a huge hurdle to jump. If there was one thing he couldn't stand, however, was the implication that he didn't care for Sydney. "I would do anything for your daughter. We made a mistake -"  
"For which the consequences could be deadly!" Jack cut him off. "Sloane now plans on having even more security on Sydney. You were both completely unprofessional. Her condition is not only a danger to you two, but also your unborn child and your jobs! This will also serve as a huge hinderance is trying to take down SD-6. You two are very lucky that the results of this foolishness won't be permanent termination!" He hissed. "Was it your plan to give them more artillery to use against Sydney?"   
"No." Mike confessed, sighing. "We weren't thinking - "  
"It is your job to think! You were not given Sydney's case for emotional purposes. Your only reason for being in my daughters life is to strategically plan countermissions that will take down SD-6 and keep her safe!"  
Looking up at Jack, he decided to plead with his sentimental side. After all, Jack did have Sydney. "Is it so wrong to want what's normal?" He asked, his tone soft.  
"No." Jack admitted. "However the life you two live is not normal. I am very sorry that you two couldn't of met under different circumstances. This is the life you two lead, this is the way things are, they cannot be changed. There is nothing wrong to imagine wanting normal things, however it is foolish to believe you can actually achieve them while you both continue to participate in this life. There is no escape, until SD-6 is down this is how it has to be. Not even Sydney's pregnancy can change the fact that she is a double agent and SD-6's security section will continue to follow her. For awhile she'll still be expected to perform countermissions." "Are they going to hurt the baby?"   
"I will do everything in my power to assure that nothing is done to detriment the health of Sydney or the baby. That's my daughter and grandchild, Mr. Vaughn," he reminded him. "I do have great respect for you, don't think that I don't. I am dissapointed. Greatly. In you and in my daughter. Your actions were foolish. To feel something, while strongly discouraged isn't something that you can always control. Deciding to act upon your feelings was where you both went wrong. Now there will be consequences, and extra precautions will need to be taken. The CIA's already looking into ways to keep Sydney safe."  
"The CIA knows?" He asked, his eyes wide. "The secretary said Devlin wouldn't be back until-"  
"I contacted Ben's vacation home. Needless to say he's not pleased."  
"Does he know-"  
"No, I'm not foolish enough to tell him your the Father." Jack cut him off, nearly disgusted with the question he was about to ask. "Devlin is not pleased, and while he strongly suspects it's your child, there will be no action taken against you. Taking you away from Sydney will only be harmful to her as well as work against the CIA's plan to take down SD-6."   
"So what do I do?" Michael asked.   
"Wait. Continue to plan countermissions that help the CIA and keep Sydney safe."  
"My job."  
"Yes, Mr. Vaughn, your job. I do, however, strongly suggest that you be cautious. I wouldn't be surprised if you find yourself being tailed for awhile, especially while going to meet Sydney." He advised. The younger man nodded. "I'll be watching you, we all will. One wrong move Mr. Vaughn, particularly one that harms my daughter, and you will be saying goodbye to your career at the CIA."   
"Yes sir." He nodded. The senior Bristow nodded curtly as Michael watched, his eyes on the figure as he walked out of the backdoor and dissapeared into the night.  
On the other side of town, Sydney was pulling into the familiar cemetary. The car was full of the scent of wildflowers as the bouquet rested safely on the drivers seat. With the sun still in the sky she decided to make one more stop before returning to the house. Will and Francie had keys if they needed to let themselves in, and Sydney didn't doubt that her friends would gladly make themselves at home and start without her.  
She unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the car. She stopped at the passenger's door to pick up the flowers and then walked the short distance to Danny's headstone. Swallowing heavily, she carefully rested the flowers up against the headstone. Cautiously she glanced back over her shoulder, knowing that she couldn't say all that she wanted to say. Not even a cemetary was sacred to Sloane and those who worked for him. Brushing a piece of hair behind her ear, she squated down. She pulled a few weeds out from around the headstone, knowing she was killing time. She forced herself to look up at the headstone and do what she came to do.  
"Francie and Charlie just celebrated their anniversary," she started. "They're really happy. Francie says . . she just wants one child," she explained, anger boiling inside her when she felt her eyes start to tear. "She said something about Will and Amy's bickering . . . . . They're talking about giving Will his own column. A weekly article to do with public interest . . . Charlie's law firm just hired a new lawyer. Female lawyer. He wants to set her up with Will." She told him.  
Her eyes glanced up at the sky, searching briefly for nonexistent clouds. After a quick glance down at the ground, she looked back at the headstone. "I know you'd want me to be happy . . . I am happy . . . As happy as I can possibly be in this life." She explained. Somewhere, wherever Danny was, she hoped he would want and rejoice in her news. "I'm having a baby. In April." She told him. "I kept telling you we couldn't have children . . . . You wanted them so badly." She remembered as she wiped away her tears. "I basically told you no, which was a horrible thing for me to do. Please understand Danny, I shouldn't even be having this baby . . . I didn't plan this. I want it though," she confessed. "I shouldn't want it, but I do. It should be your baby . . We should be married. You should have your own practice and this should be your baby . . . " She realized and shrugged. "But it's not. I'm so sorry Danny. I'm so sorry I never gave you what you deserved . . I'm so sorry you never got what you wanted. A wife and a family . . I would never have been able to give you that. I wish I could," she admitted.  
"Even if you lived . . . I'm not sure what would have happened to us," she whispered, feeling guilty at the truth behind her words. "I love you . . I always will. I don't know how our marriage would have gone . . ."   
In her mind, she would never have told Danny and he would of lived. The truth about SD-6 would of come out in time. Sydney couldn't have lived her life lying to her husband. She would of needed something and someone to be real and true. That could never have been him, not if she wanted to keep him safe. The realization that her life would have led her to the CIA - to Vaughn - panged her. Had Danny lived, he would of been her husband. It was inevitable, however, that Vaughn would have been her truth.   
"You deserved so much more then me . . I'm so sorry I never let you get it," she apologized. She reached into her pocket for a tissue to wipe away her tears. "I wanted you to know though. Before I told Francie or Will . . . that I'm pregnant. Please don't be mad at me," she pleaded. The waves in her stomach forced her to stand up. The heat and her exhaustive day had been too much for her and she knew she needed to go home. "I love you," she whispered before she returned to her car.  
The sun was nearly set in the sky when Sydney pulled into her driveway that night. As she got out she wasn't surprised to see both Charlie and Will's cars already there. She grabbed her tote and walked into the house, calling out hello as she did so. "There you are!" Francie called from the living room.   
She stepped inside and smiled at the sight. Will, Francie and Charlie were already gathered in the living room playing Monopoly and a large white pot boiled on the stove. "I was wondering where you were," Francie spoke.  
Sydney looked at her and smiled. "I just had a long day. A lot of meetings." She shrugged.  
"I say you quit." Will told her.  
"I can't quit. I won't quit." She replied. "What's for dinner?"  
"It's pasta. Don't worry, I'm making it," Charlie reassured her.  
"I can cook just as well as you can," Francie insisted. Sydney laughed softly.  
"Let me go get changed. I'll be right back." She promised.   
Her bedroom was a dim, cool sanctuary from the tiresome day she had experienced. She had only been aware of her pregnancy for the past two days and she was already exhausted. As she sat on her bed, she wondered how exhausted she'd be after carrying a baby for eight months. The child, along with the rest of her secrets, might be a bit too much to carry. Looking at her reflection, she wondered if they might get lucky and take down SD-6 within the next eight months. All of her logic doubted it - it was at least another year of work, if not more.  
As she undressed her eyes floated down to her stomach. It gave no outward indication of her condition. Reaching for her dresser, she dressed and imagined what she might look like by spring. Once she started to show it would be impossible for her to go on missions. She was still surprised at how easily Sloane took the news. His acceptance still rested uneasily with her, and she knew she was going to need to be a thousand times more cautious in the weeks ahead.  
A short time later the four friends sat around the living room eating pasta. Will was explaining the basis for his next article and the upcoming trip he was going to be taking to San Francisco. The article involved a lesbian couple adopting four of their foster children and their adoption of a drug-addicted newborn. Sydney carefully put down her glass of water and decided that the mention of children and adoption was the best chance she'd get to start the conversation.  
"What is it?" Will asked, reading her expression before she even spoke.  
"What's what?" She asked him.  
"What are you about to tell us?"   
"What? It's nothing . . " she trailed off. "I mean, it is something but it's really not that important . ."  
"Your lying!" Francie insisted. She laughed softly at Sydney's uneasiness. "It's definitely something! Is it a guy?"   
"Not . . not really . . ." she said awkwardly, tracing the rim of her glass. "You have to promise not to make a big deal of this." she insisted.  
"It's definitely a guy," Francie smirked.  
"It's not a guy," she replied. "It's a baby. I'm . . I'm having a baby." She smiled.  
"Oh my God!" Her best friend shrieked as both she and Charlie leaned over to hug her. Will was briefly pale, but to his credit he forced a smile and joined in on the hugs. "Congratulations! This is so awesome!" Francie declared.  
"Really?" Sydney smiled, delighted at how well Francie took the news.  
"Sure! This is wonderful news! I am so happy for you!" She grinned. "When is the baby due?"   
"April. Late April. Maybe not even until May," she shrugged.  
"Who's the Father?" Will demanded.   
"Will!" Francie scolded as Sydney glanced at him and then back at her plate.  
"What? I think it's a reasonable question! She hasn't brought home a guy . . in a long time!" Will pointed out, carefully skirting around the mention of Danny. "Unless you want us to believe that you got pregnant on purpose through a donor or something!"   
Sydney smirked. "No, of course not. Can you imagine how the bank would of reacted to that?" She pointed out, feeling a slight urge to poke at the job she was starting to loathe.  
"How did the bank take it?" Francie asked gently.  
"Okay. A lot better then I thought," she admitted. "They're going to send me on a few more business trips . . but it'll slow down towards the end." She reassured them, hoping it was the truth.  
"So who's the Father? When do we get to meet him?" Will persisted.  
"Will! Can't you just be happy for her?" Francie questioned.  
"I am! I am happy for her. I just want to know who the guy is."   
"He's a guy . . a really nice guy," she smiled. She briefly looked for a way to tell them the truth without telling them too much. "He's from work."  
"He works at the bank?" Charlie asked.  
"No . . no, not at the bank," she shook her head. "He's from another bank . . another company. I work with him on some cases . . . "  
"So it's not the gift guy?" Will asked. In his mind he freshly remembered the antique picture frame and an aged obviously antique teddy bear that she had received from a a friend at work during the last two Christmases. To Will both gifts looked a bit too expensive and thoughtful for a casual Secret Santa, although the teddy bear slightly mystified him.  
Sydney looked at him and briefly debated whether or not to lie. This was one time she could be honest with her friends, and she couldn't turn her back to such a rare opportunity. "Yes, it's the gift guy," she agreed. "He's a really nice guy. It's just . . with work . . it's really complicated."  
"Is he cute?" Francie asked as Charlie rolled his eyes.  
"Yes, he's cute." She laughed.   
"When do we get to meet him?" Will asked expectantly.  
"You don't," she said to her friends obvious disappointment. "It's really so complicated . . the banks rules are so complicated . . . if we get caught we could get terminated."   
"That sucks. Forbidden rendezvous are always so romantic and exciting though." Francie grinned. Not as much as you'd think, Sydney thought.  
"How would you know?" Charlie teased.  
"I've read books!" Francie insisted as they all laughed. "I think it's wonderful that you're going to be a Mom."  
"Brave too," Will added with his mouth full of food.  
"Brave?" Sydney asked.  
"Yeah, sure. You're going to be a single Mom. Plus you've got that damn bank job. They hardly leave you enough time to pee and sleep. I just think it's brave of you to be having a baby." He shrugged.  
"You won't be all alone. We'll help." Francie gently pat her knee. "I'm sure your Dad will help too." She added. Sydney smiled at the sentiment but doubted her Father's cooperation.  
"I think you should name it William." Will teased as she shook her head.  
"I'm not naming it William, Charles or Francine. That would be too confusing!" She laughed as Francie joined her.  
"I think it's wonderful! This is going to be so exciting! Just don't expect me to be in the delivery room." Francie explained.  
"She gets squirmish." Charlie explained.  
"Yeah, I can't even watch A Baby Story on TLC without squirming. Sorry Syd, I'll be there just not in the room."  
"It's fine," she smiled. "It's going to be fine. I've got plenty of time. I'm just glad you guys are okay with this."  
"This is great, it's going to be great." Francie insisted, hugging her again as she smiled.   
Sydney knew it wasn't going to be that easy, but her friends love and support made the burden slightly less heavy on her shoulders.   
  
  
  
The mission a few days later was an easy success. Dixon created a diversion while she slipped way. Sloane's assessment had been right and there were no guards or security cameras. The biggest problem she had encountered was that the desk drawer containing the Bible was jammed. She was able to open it with the help of a nearby letter opener. She had switched the original with the CIA's duplicate within seconds and no one was any the wiser.  
The best part of the mission, however, was that she was able to sleep in her own bed that night. She knew the next day involved having to meet with Sloane again, and she wasn't entirely comfortable with his initial reaction. The only thing she had to look forward to was the possibility of a meeting with Vaughn. At least she was going to be allowed to sleep in - her meeting at work wasn't until the early afternoon and she knew Vaughn wouldn't contact her before then. In her condition she needed the sleep more then ever.  
Francie was sitting in the living room when she woke up the next morning. "What are you doing here?" Sydney smiled at her friend as she padded into the kitchen.  
"Angie is opening the restaurant this afternoon," she explained. Angie was the manager of Francie's nearly year old restaurant, FC Cafe, which she concieved of during the time she was planning the wedding. Will joked that the restaurant was the only baby Charlie would let Francie have so early on in their marriage, and for the time being it was the only baby she was interested in having.   
"Did Will leave?" She asked as she made herself a few pieces of toast and sat down with Francie.  
"Yeah, yesterday afternoon. He said he'd be back by Monday," she explained. It was a Saturday. "I got you a present," she grinned. Sydney's brow scrunched as she watched her friend reach behind a nearby pillow and pull out a wrapped object.  
"You didn't have to -"  
"I wanted to. I didn't do it on purpose. I just saw it . . . I just wanted you to know that I'm behind you a hundred percent. I am so happy for you Syd, I know Danny would be too." She insisted. Sydney smiled, hoping it was true.  
"Thanks Francie, that was so sweet of you," she remarked as she slowly unwrapped the present.   
Within seconds she felt her eyes well. In her hands she held a copy of Two of Us Make a World: A Single Mother's Guide to Pregnancy, Childbirth & The First Year. She looked up at Francie and smiled. Although the title broke her heart, it was the cold reality of her life, and Francie's intentions had been well placed. "Thank you so much," she said and leaned over to hug her friend.  
"You're welcome! I was at the mall and I saw it! I figure everyone else will be getting you What to Expect When Your Expecting. I saw some of the cutest outfits too, but Charlie said it's too soon to buy clothes."   
"It probably is," she laughed. "They're all so cute though." She agreed.  
"They are! I can't wait until we go buy that stuff! It's a good thing I'm out of here though, you'll get to make my room into a nursery."  
"Yeah . . " she realized. The thought of actually holding the baby, of bringing it home to raise, hadn't hit her yet. She was too preoccupied with the notion of safely coming to term.  
"I have some really great ideas for themes too! Will told me you probably have your own ideas, but I thought maybe if you needed some help -"  
"I want your help. I'm going to need your help." She insisted with a smile. "The bank will probably want me working until the day before I have the baby," she said.  
"As long as they cut back on those trips. I read that you can't fly in your third trimester anyway."   
"You're really into this." Sydney smiled.  
"Yeah . . I am. I only want one child, I know that. Now that you're having a baby . . it makes me want one sooner." She admitted as they both smiled.  
"You are going to be a great Mom."  
"So are you Syd." She smiled, pushing back a thick piece of Sydney's hair. "So, do I at least get to see a picture of this guy?"   
Sydney laughed. "Hopefully one day you can meet him. It's just very complicated . . . You'd really like him."   
"Is he cute?"  
"He's adorable!" She laughed. "He's very handsome."  
"Do you love him?" Francie asked.  
She looked down at her plate of toast. Sydney had never said the words to Vaughn, she had never felt the need to. In return he had never said the words either. The truth was she did love him, so much that it went without saying. Sometimes she wondered if it was so powerful that it was obvious to those around them.  
"You do love him," Francie remarked as she shrugged. "Does he know?"  
"It's so complicated . . "  
"Love's always complicated. This bank job isn't forever." Francie pointed out. I hope it's not forever, Sydney added to herself. "I don't want to make this any more difficult for you Syd. I'm so happy that you're making me an Aunt," she said as they both smiled. "I just hope one day I get to be your Maid of Honor. You deserve that. Danny would want it for you."   
Sydney looked up, unable to hide the tears in her eyes. Francie sighed sympathetically and hugged her. "You are going to be fine. You're going to find a great guy . . maybe you already have. Plus, if you love him and he loves you, you'll work it out. No job is more important then being with the person you love."  
Sydney sniffled and hugged her friend tighter.  
One job's more important then being with the person you love, she thought miserably - mine.  
  
  
  
Brigitte Vaughn led her son through the busy mall on the other side of town. Michael sighed heavily as they walked into yet another store. This time his Mother led him into Babies R Us - the largest one in Southern California. He wondered if this was his Mother's way of getting something out of him. "Charlotte and Patrick are having another baby." She said, her words finally earning her son's attention.  
"What?" Michael asked, looking at her in surprise.  
"Your sister and brother in law - "  
"I know who they are Mom." He said as his Mother shook his head.  
"I rarely get to go out with you Michael. If you had something else to do today you should of just said so. We could of had dinner this week instead." Brigitte reasoned.  
"I'm fine Mom. I've just had a very busy week at work."  
"That job . . it took your Father away from me. I refuse to let it take you away." She spoke strongly.  
"I'm fine Mom. So Charlotte's pregnant?"  
"Yes, the baby is due in May." She explained. "Don't you ever talk to your sister?"  
"Apparently not as often as I should," he realized.  
"That's okay, I'm sure she meant to call you soon." She smiled, holding up a tiny onesie covered in baseball items - balls, bats and caps. "What do you think of this?"  
"Isn't it too soon to buy baby clothes?"  
"I'm a Grandmother, it's never too soon to buy tiny little clothes." She grinned. He forced himself to look away as his Mother searched the various racks of tiny baby assembles.   
"Isn't Maya a little young?" He asked. His niece had just turned two and he still imagined her as a baby.  
"Hardly, she'll be two and a half, nearly three when this baby is born." His Mother explained. Brigitte turned towards him and smiled. "Michel, when your in love and love your family, it's never too soon or too much." She told him in french. He sighed and nodded. "So what has you so disturbed?" she asked, returning to English.  
"Just . . a case . . a friend . ."   
Brigitte led him further back into the store and briefly glanced at him over her shoulder. "I know I'm not a top-ranking official, but I am your Mother. You are allowed to occasionally tell me things about your job. Even about your life." She raised her eyebrows as he laughed.  
"I do tell you," he insisted.  
"You tell me what you think I want to hear. You tell me enough to keep me satisified. You don't tell me everything. Your Father was the same way . ."   
"I just want to keep you safe." He insisted.  
"I just want my son to tell me the truth," she said as she gave him a sharp glance.  
"I want to tell you," he softly told her.  
"Then tell me. I'm all ears." She pointed out. He sighed as she shook her head. "My guess would be that it involves a girl."  
"It does . ."  
"Please tell me it's not Alice." She pleaded as he laughed. His on again/off again relationship with Alice had never been something his Mother approved of. Something about Alice had always bothered Brigitte, although she had yet to pinpoint it's source.  
"It's not Alice Mom. You've never met her."  
"So, what's she like?"  
"She's from work," he explained.  
"So she's dangerous."  
"No, she's not dangerous." He insisted. He knew Sydney could be dangerous, but not in the way his Mother meant.   
"I think your in love." His Mother grinned and lead him out of the store.  
"Mom, it's my job." Michael pointed out as she walked into a bookstore.  
"I'm going to go look at books on Menapause." She looked at him as his face scrunched in disgust. "Since it's safe to assume you don't wish to look at such books, so can you keep yourself amused for five minutes?" She asked as he laughed.  
"Yes Mom." He agreed. Brigitte made her way to the Woman's Health section of the store as he floated through.  
Michael ended up in the Pregnancy/Childbirth section. His eyes scanned the titles, amazed at the scope of things one could write about on one topic. His heart stopped when his eyes landed on The Expectant Father. While he knew he shouldn't, he picked it up and flipped through the pages. There was so much to learn, and apparently so much he could and should do for his upcoming arrival. He closed the book and regretfully put it back on the shelf. For him his older sister's pregnancy couldn't of been more ill-timed. He'd have to watch his family celebrate his sister's arrival while hiding his own joy. The last thing he did was begrudge his sister and brother in laws good fortune, he just wished that some would turn his way.  
He eyed the book one more time, wanting to buy it. In his perfect world he and Sydney were married, and SD-6 didn't exist. It was ironic, since without the existence of his enemy he never would have met her. His imagination bore no consideration of that though. Instead they were married with a tiny little beach front house. Francie, Will, Charlie and Eric came over often. Charlotte and Syndey were fabulous friends. Sydney taught high school Literature. They walked the beach with Donovan at night and they had been eagerly planning their upcoming arrival.  
His Mother's voice reluctantly drew him back to reality. A world where he and Sydney couldn't acknowledge knowing one another. She had been set to marry Danny - and would have. He lived in a condo with Donovan while Eric dropped by. Sydney had her house, where her friends were often over for dinner and board games. The only time he was even able to look at her was in a dark warehouse. His sister didn't even know Sydney existed. Nothing was how it was supposed to be. That was reality though, and he had to make the best of what he had.  
"Michael? Are you okay?"  
"I'm fine Mom." He smiled at her.  
"I think your sister had all of the books she needs . . " Brigitte commented, looking at the shelves of pregnancy books in front of them. "Make sure you call her after dinner tonight to congratulate them."  
"I will," he promised.   
"Are you sure you're okay?"  
"I'm fine Mom." He insisted. Brigitte nodded although she still didn't believe him. Michael was much like his Father, and neither Father or Son had been particularly good liars.  
"Just tell me. Is this girl French?" She questioned as her son laughed.   
"I don't know . . she might be." He shrugged. She's Russian, he thought to himself, KGB actually. "Do you believe in fate?" He asked as they walked back into the main part of the mall.  
"Yes . . I suppose so. I believe that your Father and I were supposed to be together. When I look at your sister and Patrick I have to believe the same thing. You and Alice . . I'm sorry sweetheart, but that just didn't seem right." She smiled apologetically.  
"It's fine Mom. It's been awhile since we broke up." He reminded her.   
"What about you Michel? Do you believe in fate?"  
"I don't know. I'm not so sure that everything is predetermined." He spoke, his mind drifting back to Milo Rimbaldi's prophecy. "Don't we have choices?"  
"Of course we do. We have choices that, if we're lucky, lead us to the right person." His Mother explained.  
"What if we make the wrong decisions?" He asked. Brigitte grew briefly pensive and shrugged.  
"Then we make a brief wrong turn. Hopefully it'll still lead us to another decision which then leads you to the right person." She explained. "Why so many questions?"  
"Just curious." He insisted.  
"It's definitely a young woman." Brigitte decided as they both laughed. "Let's go, I'll let you buy me lunch."  
Sydney strode proudly on her heels into the cage of the warehouse. Her jaw was set and Vaughn's stomach dropped at her expression. He watched as she walked over tower over him as he sat on a crate. She remained silent as she reached into her tote and pulled out a book, nearly throwing it onto his lap.  
He felt his stomach drop when he read the title. "'Two of Us Make A World: A Single Motehr's Guide to Pregnancy, Childbirth and the First Year' . . ." he read outloud, fingering through the pages. "Looks interesting." He mused, looking up to find Sydney obviously not pleased.  
"I can't do this." She declared, resting her hands on her hips.  
"Syd, I know you, you can do this." He insisted, not doubting it for a moment. Deep in his heart he was so confident of her ability to embark on the journey ahead of her that he silently wondered if she'd even want his help when the opportunity arose.  
"I don't want to do this." She restated, pacing the tiny area. "I don't want to be a single Mother! I don't want to have to explain everything to Will and Francie! I hate having to look them in the eye - "  
"I know Syd - "  
"No Vaughn, you don't know!" She snapped. "You have absolutely no idea what this is like for me!" She insisted loudly, stepping closer to him. "I'm not sleeping at night. I'm terrified to think of what SD-6 is trying to do to me and this baby! When I'm not preoccupied with this baby's safety, I'm in the bathroom sick!" She said.   
"Don't you think I want to be there?" He snapped, slapping the book down on the crate and standing. "I know your doing this by yourself. I think about that all of the time!" He stopped, taking a second to calm down before things got out of control. They needed to work through this together, and arguing wouldn't accomplish that. "I had lunch with my Mother yesterday." He told her.  
"Really? How'd that go?" She asked calmly, surprising him at her sudden mood change. Damn hormones, his mind reminded him.  
"My sister's pregnant again. She and my brother in law are having another baby in May." He explained as she looked down at her feet. "I had to look my Mother in the eye and not say a single thing about you. Don't you think I'd like to be there for you? Damn, I hate not being able to do a damn thing for you. I can't say anything to anyone about any of this! If I could switch places with you, I would in a heartbeat."   
"Well at least my Father's reacting well." She mumbled under her breathe, sitting down again. Vaughn looked back at her sharply. "What? He's not?"  
"Devlin knows. He was on vacation. Your Father called him. We're putting plans into action to keep you and the baby safe." He explained, sitting down as she nodded. "Your Father visited my apartment a few days ago . ." He added. He looked up at her, not surprised to see her anxious eyes. "He's greatly disapointed. He accused me of being careless . . reckless . . . a poor case handler . . all of which are true." He added and ran a hand through his hair.   
"Hey," she said softly, reaching out to grab his hand. He looked up in surprise, reassured to find her smiling gently. "It was a mistake. It's not like we sat down and plotted this." She said as he laughed and nodded. Her smaller hand squeezed his before letting go. "Congratulations to your sister. You have a niece already, right?"  
"Yeah, Maya. She's two." He smiled, touched that she remembered. "My Mother's out shopping already. . . " He trailed off awkwardly.  
"I'm sorry Vaughn." She whispered. "I'm so sorry I got you into this mess . ."  
"Hey, I was already in this life when I met you." He reminded her.  
"I brought you in even deeper . . . . if your Mother ever knew what I've forced you into, she'd hate me."  
"My Mother wouldn't hate you." He insisted with a smile. "You never forced me into anything Syd. Anything I've done with you has been of my own choice."  
"Will says the baby should be William." She said as he laughed. "I've been thinking about names . . which I know it's totally insane," she admitted with a silly grin. "It's just something fun to think about . . . So far I've got a list of names we can't use that's bigger then the list of names I like."   
Vaughn smiled, glad she was able to enjoy a brief, simple pleasure that all mothers-to-be enjoyed. "What names can't we use?" He asked, looking at her. She'd have to leave in a few moments, or else their meeting would become suspiciously long, but he enjoyed the brief opportunity to just look at her and talk to her.  
"Arvin, of course." She grinned as he laughed. "Laura, Alexander, Irina, Steven . . There's quite a few." She admitted with a grin. "What's your Mom's name?"   
"Brigitte." He explained as she smiled.  
"That's very pretty."  
"Very french." Sydney grinned.   
"Hey, are you french?" He asked. Sitting across from him, she nearly laughed at the question.  
"I don't know . . " She admitted. "Why?"  
"Just wondering." He shrugged.   
"What's your sisters name?"  
"Charlotte. She's married to Patrick."   
Sydney smiled. Even their names made them sound like such nice, decent people. They were his relatives, and she couldn't imagine any relative of his being anything else. Her family, however, she thought in slight disgust. At least her Father was a respectable human being, despite his usual emotional distance. Her Father loved her, and unlike her Mother, Jack Bristow always had her best interest at heart.  
"I should be going." She realized. Sydney stood and grabbed her tote.   
"Here, don't forget this." He awkwardly handed her the book.  
"Thanks." She smiled and slipped it back into her bag. "Francie bought it for me." She added, realizing she had never told him.  
"Your friends want to help you." He said as she nodded.  
"Yeah, I know." She said. "You'll contact me when they figure out what the code in the Bible means?"  
"Of course. Make sure you get some rest." He advised. Sydney smiled.  
"I'm going to try." 


	3. Coming to Terms Chapter 3

Title: Coming to Terms (Chapter 3)  
Author: UConn Fan (Michele)  
E-Mail: LoveUConnBasketball@yahoo.com  
  
Authors Note: Hey all! Anyone even miss me? Somehow I doubt it. Anyway. Somethings I want to clarify (does anyone actually read AN's but me?!):  
Michael Vartan is a Mets fan, thus so is Vaughn - do not mistake my NY baseball affiliation sob  
There's a character with the last name Jeter - he's essentially a good & bad guy - he's named after Derek Jeter :) 3   
I have an excellent relationship with my Father. Excellent. I'm a total Daddy's girl. So writing a relationship like Jack & Sydney's is a real challenge, however I just LOVE their interaction - I think Victor Garber's an excellent actor and Jack Bristow's a kick ass character. Writing their scenes are some of the most rewarding and challenging that I've encountered while writing this story. Please comment on their scenes if you wouldn't mind.  
I'm also a HUGE X-Files fan, but I was so angry after David Duchovny wrote "William" in season 9 - the plot is mentioned in this story; if you are an X-Files fan who has not seen or found out what happens in that episode, please be warned that, while I don't spell it out, the plot is heavily hinted at.  
Several mentions of Dirty Dancing, one of my all time favorite movies; character with the last name Cavilerri (not sure if the character is in this chapter) I got the last name from reading & falling in love with Love Story this past weekend.   
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the X-Files, Mulder or Scully, Twinkies, Dirty Dancing, Love Story, The Rugrats, the Mets or Dodgers, ESPN, the Kings or Canucks, Scrabble, Charlie Brown and certainly not any Alias-related character, place, etc. I'm having fun, please don't sue. My life is so unbelievably depressing that you don't waven want to get involved, trust me.   
  
PLEASE NOTE: This was written PRIOR to MANY MANY MANY late season 1 episodes. Sydney's Mother has not been found. Will is still oblivious to Syd's true occupation. Charlie isn't a creep (obviously, they're married). I mention Emily still being alive. It's all pretty obvious. Please don't hold the timeline against me. I had no idea of all the twists and turns JJ was going to make. Please just enjoy the story as it, and please please PLEASE give me feedback! :) I just LOVE everyone that has!  
  
Okay, finally, here's the story! (Please read & respond :))  
  
  
  
Will walked in through Sydney's front door, feeling very generous as he carried a plastic grocery bag. Either very generous or very dumb for coming over with goodies and the fixings to make his best friend - who he happened to be in love with but was also pregnant with another unidentified mans baby - dinner. Generous just sounded better. He hated to consider himself dumb and pathetic . . .well, anymore dumb or pathetic. After all considering himself pathetic only made him feel dumb.  
  
"Will, I'm so glad your here!" Sydney smiled at him from the kitchen, beckoning him in. "Could you please do me a favor?" She questioned, smiling sweetly as she held a bottle of dishwashing liquid in her hands.  
  
"Sure, what is it?" He asked, placing the bag down and approaching her.  
  
"Please pour the liquid in for me? My back's so bad that I can't even bend down." She explained, her eyes widening and her smile growing.  
  
"No problem," he agreed, doing as she asked. "How's your stomach?"  
  
"Oh, it could be better." She admitted, grabbing a glass of water and sitting down. "What's in the bag?"  
  
"Just some stuff for dinner. I thought I could make you dinner."  
  
"You're going to make dinner?"  
  
"I'm going to try to make you dinner." He rephrased to her amusement. "I bought you Twinkies though."   
  
"Twinkies!" Her eyes lit up gleefully as he handed her the box. "How did you know I wanted some of these?" She asked, eagerly opening the box and pulling out a handful.  
  
Will shook his head as she offered him a Twinkie and watched in awe and disgust as she started to eat one. "When my cousin was pregnant she probably bought enough to keep Hostess in business for a year." He said as she laughed.   
  
"Very good guess," she complimented, forgetting all manners as she spoke with a mouthful of food. "This is the best thing I've ever eaten."  
  
"Really?" He asked skeptically. They both laughed and she shook her head.  
  
"Not really, but it seems like that right now." She confessed. "I didn't know you had a cousin who had a baby."  
  
"Yeah, my cousin Dana. I was only seventeen," he shrugged. "I was there when the baby was born. Now that's a horror picture." He said as she laughed. "If you like the Twinkies, you'll definitely like what I got for after dinner."  
  
"What did you get?" She asked, her eyes lighting up at the possibility of more goodies.  
  
"It's a surprise." Sydney's face fell slightly. "I'll tell you if you tell me who the baby's Father is." He bargained, causing her lips to form a pout.  
  
"That's not fair Will. You don't tell me about your sex life."  
  
He laughed, starting to prepare dinner. "That's because I don't have a sex life."   
  
She shook her head in amusement, devouring another Twinkie. "So how's work going?" She asked him.  
  
"It's fine," he shrugged. His low-level job, with the occasional A-section piece but wound up mostly in tiny D-section blurbs, wasn't what he had wanted or planned for his career. Both of them knew it. Then again, her job at the bank wasn't her life plan either. "Did you start reading the book Francie bought?"  
  
"Yeah," she sulked. Sydney knew she sounded more like a spoiled, upset three year old then a twenty nine year old double agent but for a brief time her hormones kicked in and she didn't care.  
  
"Listen Syd, you're the one who chose to be a single Mom. We're just trying to help."   
  
"I didn't choose this Will!" She snapped, suddenly angry with her friend. "I didn't purposely go out there and get pregnant. This just happened."  
  
"You're still the one who has decided to raise this baby." He pointed out.  
  
"What does that mean?" She asked.  
  
"I'm not talking about abortion. There's adoption. There are plenty of couples out there who want to be parents."  
  
Once again she grew contemplative and sad, looking down at the Twinkie wrapper in her hand. "I might not have planned this baby, but I want it."   
  
"Fine Syd, I'm happy for you." His words were sincere as was his smile. "Just don't cut yourself off from any options. C'mon, if Scully can do it, so can you." He said as she laughed.  
  
"Will, I'm not on the X-Files." She reminded him.  
  
"Yeah . . . I was so angry with David Duchovny when he wrote that. " He said to himself as she stifled a giggle. "I'd take his wife though."   
  
"I thought Charlie was trying to set you up with the new lawyer at his firm."   
  
"He is. Her name is Jennie. She just graduated law school."  
  
"Another Jennie?" Sydney asked with a smirk.  
  
"It's a pure coincidence." He insisted as she laughed.  
  
"If you say so."   
  
"If he says what?" Francie called, walking through the front door.  
  
"Hey," Sydney smiled at her as she walked into the kitchen. "Did you know the girl Charlie's trying to set Will up with is named Jennie?"  
  
"Yeah, I know, how freaky is that?" Francie agreed as Will rolled his eyes.  
  
"It's not freaky. Jennie's a nickname for Jennifer. Jennifer's what, like the most popular name of the past three decades?" He pointed out as the two women shrugged. "Anyway, where's your husband?"   
  
"He'll be over later. Had to work late. The restaurant was running fine without me, so I thought I'd come over here." She explained. "Oh, Twinkies."   
  
"Only take one Francie." Sydney pleaded.  
  
"They're the new love of her life." Will explained.   
  
"How are you feeling?" Francie asked her friend, sitting down at the table while Will worked on his meal preparations.  
  
"My back is sore. My stomach's better today."   
  
"Do you have any gut feelings on what the baby might be?" Francie questioned eagerly.  
  
"I think it's a little too soon for that." She smiled. It was only the middle of September; she was only eight weeks pregnant.  
  
"C'mon, you have to want one over the other." Will interjected. Sydney sighed and shrugged.  
  
"Not really," she smiled. "Just a healthy baby."   
  
"I think it's a boy." Will insisted.  
  
"You just want a boy so that there are more boys then girls hanging around here." Francie pointed out. With Charlie around most of the time the count of males to females in the Bristow apartment was even. Occasionally Amy came around to give the girls the advantage. Now with the possibility of Jennie being around more often, Will needed another boy - even an infant - to lean everything towards the men's side. "What about names?"  
  
"What about them?" Sydney asked, standing up and getting another Twinkie. Will stood by the stove and wrinkled his nose in slight disgust.  
  
"If it's a girl you could name the baby Laura. After your Mom." Francie suggested helpfully. Syd stopped midstride. Her best friend's suggestion had been good-natured, as were all of Francie and Will's suggestions. She couldn't just explain to them that Laura Bristow had never really existed. She had been a fabrication of an evil woman who had killed twelve CIA agents - including Vaughn's Father. Naming this child Laura was out of the question. "Syd? Are you okay?"  
  
"Yeah. . I'm fine." She forced a smile and sat down. "I'll think about it." She said as Francie nodded. "So when is your first date with Jennie?"   
  
Will groaned. "This Friday."  
  
"Oh," Sydney and Francie teased.  
  
"That gives you less then five days to prepare." Sydney pointed out, given the fact that it was a Monday night.  
  
Before Will could retaliate, the phone rang. "That's probably Charlie." Francie sighed, standing up and answering it. After a few seconds Syd and Will watched as she let out an aggravated sigh. "Yeah, y'know what, this is Joey's Pizza. Tonight our special is Twinkie's on your pizza, how about it?"   
  
Sydney and Will laughed as she hung up the phone. "How long have we been getting those stupid calls?"   
  
"Too long." Will insisted.   
  
"I think it's funny." Sydney insisted, smiling as she stood up. "I'm going to run out of these within an hour." She smiled, her eyes wide as she held up the nearly empty box of Twinkies. "Do we need anything else while I'm out?"  
  
"Nah, we're fine. Don't take too long, dinner will be ready soon." Will directed.  
  
"I won't be long." She promised, smiling at them as she walked out of her house.  
  
Fifteen minutes later she walked into the familiar warehouse. In her hands she carried the box of Twinkies, in the middle of eating one as she stepped into the cage. "Hi."   
  
Vaughn resisted the urge to laugh at the sight she made. "Hi."  
  
"Do you want one?" She asked, holding her box out to him.  
  
"No, I'm fine." He assured her with a grin. "Francie didn't sound too happy to hear from me."  
  
"She never is." Sydney reminded him as she sat down. "So, why'd you call?"  
  
"We've finally finished decoding a small portion of the Bible."  
  
"And?"  
  
"It appears to be the notes . . Memoir's even, of a man named Otto Jeter."  
  
"Why does that name sound familiar?"  
  
"He's a member of the Alliance. He's the head of SD-1." Vaughn explained.   
  
"Why did SD-6 want the information if he's already a member of the Alliance?"  
  
"If the CIA is reading it right, it seems as though Jeter wants out of the organization. He's already stockpiled a fortune in various locations throughout the world. We did some more research and found out that he was recently diagnosed with a terminal illness."   
  
"So he's trying to clear his conscience?"  
  
"So it seems."   
  
"This is good then?"  
  
"Yes," he smiled. "This is a huge step in taking down SD-6 and the Alliance."   
  
"That's wonderful." She smiled.   
  
Vaughn nodded before his expression changed and his eyes seemed warmer. "How are you feeling?"  
  
"My back's bad. I couldn't even pour the dishwashing liquid." She admitted with a soft laugh. "I love Twinkies."   
  
"Have you always loved Twinkies?" He asked as she shook her head. "My sister would only eat Devil Dogs during her second trimester with Maya. It was disgusting." He remembered as they both laughed.   
"I never realized how tasty these are." She smiled, eating another one.   
  
"When's your next doctor's appointment."  
  
She sighed and closed the box of Twinkies before she looked at him. "Not for nearly a month. It feels like I've been pregnant forever and I'm not even in my second trimester."   
  
"My sister always said the easiest part of parenthood is pregnancy." He commented as she nodded. "Your taking it easy, right?"  
  
"As best I can." She promised. "How's your sister doing?"  
  
"Fine. Excited, they're hoping it's a boy."   
  
She nodded and looked down at her feet. Vaughn dared to step closer to her, sensing something was bothering her. Sydney was rarely so passive or quiet, although he knew pregnancy could do weird things to a woman. "What's wrong?"  
  
"It's my Dad . . ." She explained, pushing her hair behind her ear. "I've seen him . . . at SD-6. He hasn't spoken to me one on one since I announced I was pregnant. I mean, we've never been that close . . . " She trailed off, looking up at him, her eyes sad. "I'd rather him yell at me then avoid me at all."   
  
"He's your Father Syd. He loves you, regardless of whether or not he agrees with things in your life." He gently reminded her. "I'm sure he'll stop by to talk to you soon."   
  
"Yeah," she agreed although it was obvious she didn't believe it. "I better go. Francie and Will are at the house. Will's making dinner." She explained with a smile. Vaughn nodded sadly. "Thanks for the update."  
  
"No problem." He smiled. They shared a few seconds of eye contact before she looked away, still grinning. Sydney slowly stood and then grabbed her box of Twinkies before she walked out of the warehouse.  
  
Vaughn walked into his office the next day, his mind jumbled with scattered thoughts. With the discovery of the Bible and the possibility of the take down of the Alliance, work had kept him busy. Devlin had been scrutinizing his every move. While no one could prove that Sydney's pregnancy had any connection with him, he didn't doubt that his boss had strong suspicions of the baby's origins. There had been no disciplinary action taken towards him - and certainly none towards Sydney, since that was illegal. He knew all it would take would be one wrong move and he'd be out of the CIA on his ass.  
  
Eric walked into his office a few minutes later, getting comfortable in the seat across from him. "What's wrong?"   
  
"Nothing's wrong." Vaughn responded, kicking on his computer and organizing the papers on his desk. "Did you hear anything else about the Bible from linguistics?"  
  
"Not yet. I did hear something about Bristow." He explained. Vaughn looked up at him sharply but Eric nonetheless continued. "Sydney, actually. I'm surprised you didn't tell me."  
  
"I have actual work to do today." He impatiently reminded him.  
  
"I heard Sydney's pregnant." Eric spoke in a low voice. Vaughn paused briefly before returning to his papers. "Well, is she?"  
  
"I'm Sydney's case handler, not the office gossip."   
  
"I'm just surprised your taking it so well."   
  
"What does that mean?" He questioned, his brow scrunched in confusion and slight frustration.  
  
"It's just . . I know you've got this secret girlfriend . . . But you obviously feel something for Sydney. . Unless . . "  
  
"Unless what?"  
  
"Unless you don't have to worry about Sydney because you know exactly where this baby came from." Eric whispered.   
  
"Eric, I really don't have time for this today. Do you know if Jack's here today?"  
  
"Yeah, I just saw him heading towards Devlin's office."  
  
"Thanks," Vaughn responded, quickly standing and moving out of the office.  
  
"I guess we'll talk later." Eric mumbled, standing up and walking out of the office alone.  
  
Vaughn nearly ran into Jack Bristow as the older man was walking out of Director Devlin's office. "Agent Vaughn." Jack said in an emotionless voice.  
  
"Do you have a second to talk?" Vaughn asked. "It's about Sydney."  
  
Jack stood motionless for a second before giving a slight nod. Without a word Vaughn followed the senior agent down the hall and into an abandoned conference room. "What about Sydney?"  
  
"I know that your relationship with your daughter is none of my business -"  
  
"You're right, it is none of your business."  
  
"However," Vaughn said, his frustration growing more apparent. "Jack, with all due respect, your daughter needs to talk to you. Sydney would rather you yell at her then ignore her." He explained. He noticed that if he looked close enough, Jack's face softened at his words. "She understands the repercussions of her actions. You're her Father. She needs to talk to you. I'm not a family counselor, and I would never say anything unless I felt it was absolutely necessary. I feel this is absolutely necessary. This is going to be extremely difficult for her. Even if you don't approve of the situation or her actions, she needs to talk to you."   
  
"Thank you, Agent Vaughn, for your advice. I believe that I know how to interact with my daughter."   
  
Without another word, Jack turned around and left the room, leaving Vaughn alone and frustrated.  
  
  
  
Sydney was home alone Friday night. With neither SD-6 nor the CIA having any new leads on the Bible, and the CIA busy decoding it, there was no mission for her that weekend. That night was traditionally the busiest night at the restaurant, keeping Charlie and Francie busy, and Will was on his dreaded first date with Jennie. So she was going to spend the evening alone, along with her box of Twinkies, grape juice and stack of Patrick Swayze movies. The evening might not have been the most interesting, but Sydney knew anything was better then the possibility of crawling around air vents and jumping off of roofs during a mission.  
  
She had settled on to the couch. It was a chilly mid-September night and she had a blanket to keep her warm on the sofa. She had just slipped in Dirty Dancing and was fast-forwarding through the previews when someone rang the doorbell. Frustrated, she turned off the VCR and wrapped the blanket around her. She walked towards the door and did a double take when she saw her Father through the peephole.  
  
"Dad?"  
  
"Sydney." He nodded at her. "May I come in?"  
  
"Sure," she moved out of the way as he stepped into the living room.   
  
"How are you feeling?"  
  
"Fine." She answered with a slight nod. "Do you want a Twinkie?"  
  
"No . . No thank you." He said as she nodded. "How is the baby?"  
  
"Fine . . Fine. I'm eight weeks."   
  
Jack nodded and looked around the room. After a few tense seconds he glanced back at his daughter. "Sydney . . Perhaps your situation isn't ideal . . .I want you to be happy. I only want what's best for you."  
  
"I know." She smiled.   
  
"Things . . . They weren't always as they are now. When you were younger . . . " He trailed off. After a few seconds he looked back at you. "If you or the baby need anything, just ask."  
  
"I will." She promised.  
  
"Sloane . . . Emily found out about the baby. She's thrilled for you. It appears that Arvin won't be doing anything to harm the baby. Right now. We have a bug in his office at home so if that changes we'll know about it." He explained as she nodded, remembering the evening a few years ago where she dropped the paperclip bug into the office. "Are you happy?"  
  
Sydney took a few seconds before she smiled. "As happy as I can be."  
  
Jack nodded, understanding her answer. "I better go . . ." He said as she nodded, walking him out the door.  
  
Once Jack's car had pulled out of the driveway, Sydney quickly walked back towards her bedroom. Going to her closet, she pulled out a shoebox from the top of her closet. While she had kept all of her Mother's memento's in a beautiful hat box - one she now rarely looked at - as a teenager she had thrown anything of sentimental value related to her Father into a shoe box. It had been haphazardly thrown at the top of her closet when she moved. That evening was the first time she had looked at it since she had started boarding school at fourteen.  
  
She sucked in a deep breath when she opened the box. When her Father had mentioned the relationship they had had when she was younger, she remembered everything. It had been so long ago that they had been close, but it had happened. The box was proof of that. The picture on top of the pile of mementos was a close up of their faces. She was three or four and her hair was up in pigtails. She and her Father were giving goofy smiles to the camera. The picture bought a small, sad smile to her face.  
  
Another picture that caught her eye nearly brought her to tears. A much younger version of her Father sat in a rocker that she remembered from her childhood. She was there in his arms, a newborn with a pink knit cap on the top of her head. They were looking at each other, completely oblivious to the person taking the picture. On the back of the photo, her Mother's fluent hand had written '4/17/74 - Jack & Sydney's first photo'. The young Father in the picture obviously loved the infant in his arms and the newborn girl looked up at him with infant eyes of awe.  
  
Other pictures flipped from the shoebox and into her hands . . . An infant Sydney laying on her Father's chest as they both slept soundly . . . She and her Father at her kindergarten graduation, smiling widely as Sydney clutched her Father's hand . . . A picture of them standing in front of a cabin on one of the camping excursions the family of three had taken when she was younger . . . Jack smiling and Sydney giggling as she rode the carousel . . . Jack attempting to teach Sydney how to hit a baseball off of a tee, a photo taken just weeks before 'Laura' had 'died' . . .   
  
Underneath the photos were various other mementos. Handmade cards with crayon scribbles and colored constructions paper. Most included a 'Dear Daddy . .' And all ended with a 'Love Sydney'. There were seashells and ticket stubs from Disney movies. She found various tiny, colorful pieces of paper that had obviously been tickets to various carnivals or fairs from over the years. Even the program from a 'Daddy and Me' class that they had taken when she was a toddler. That box had everything to indicate that they had been as close as a daughter and her Daddy could be.  
  
The photographs and mementos in her hands were evidence of yet another life that Irina Derevko had ruined. Not only had she killed countless CIA agents, breaking their families, she had broken her own family. When 'Laura' had 'died' and the truth had come out to Jack, he had pulled back emotionally from her. At six she hadn't understood it - she hadn't understood why until she was an adult woman. Even after two years of working to open up to one another, it would be a long road to regain the closeness that they had shared prior to Irina's ultimate betrayal.  
  
Forty-five minutes later, Sydney stalked into the warehouse and towards the cage. Vaughn, clad in jeans and a leather jacket over his t-shirt, turned towards her in confusion. "What's wrong? Is it the baby?"  
  
Sydney shook her head and wiped away her tears. "It's my Dad." She explained, sitting down as he positioned himself next to her. "He came by tonight. He explained that he wanted me to be happy. After he left I went to my room," she explained. She paused for a few seconds, bringing her breathing pattern back to normal and accepting his tissue. "I have this box. It's a shoebox. When I went to boarding school, I tossed everything important about my Father - pictures, cards, ticket stubs - into this box. I haven't looked at it since then." She confessed softly. "I looked at it tonight. I wish you could see it Vaughn. These pictures . . . My Dad and I used to be so close. I loved him so much. I really thought he was the bravest, smartest, greatest guy in the world. When I was five I even asked him to be my Valentine."   
  
Vaughn smiled at the sweet memory and nodded. She took a few seconds, wiping tears from the corners of her eyes, before she started again. "When my Mom . . Died." She worded carefully. "She ruined us. My Dad just pulled back from me, completely. It's going to take us so long to get back there, to get back to where we were when I was younger. We might never get there," she realized. Sydney turned back towards Vaughn, making eye contact with him. "He's my Dad," she shrugged. "He's not perfect. Throughout my life, regardless of whether I saw it or not, he was the only person who always looked out for me. All he ever wanted was what was best for me, to protect me. Now . . . He's always going to be my Dad. I need him now." She admitted, the tears starting again. "I don't know how to tell him, but I need him. I need my Daddy back." She said softly before she burst with a hysterical laugh. "I'm twenty nine years old and I need my Daddy, have I lost my mind?"  
  
"No," Vaughn said softly with a shake of his head. "It's not insane at all. Your Dad needs you too Syd, whether he admits it or not. You're right; you'll probably never get back what you had when you were younger. You are both different people now. It will take a lot of work, but I don't see why you two can't be close again."  
  
"Really? Even after everything? Even though I look just like my Mother - "  
  
"Sydney, you are *not* your Mother. I know it. Your Father knows it even more then I do. No one who really knows you believes that you're like your Mother. You have a good heart. You may look like her, but you are *not* her Sydney, don't ever believe that you are."  
  
"What if I'm the kind of Mother she was? One who pretends to be wonderful only to abandon her child?"  
  
Vaughn gave her a sharp look. After a second of contemplation, he reached out for her hands. "You are not your Mother Syd. You and I both know you would never do anything like that, ever. You are a good person. There might not even be an SD-6 or Alliance when the baby is born."  
  
"Really?" She hopefully asked. "It could be that soon?"  
  
"If this Bible is as credible as it appears to be, we could have a majority of the Alliance dissembled within a year."  
  
"How are we going to do that when I'm not going to be able to go on missions?"  
  
"There are other ways. We still have your Father in place. You'll be in the Credit Dauphine offices, which may be more helpful then if you were on a mission."  
  
"I hope so. I don't want to sit around and do nothing for seven months."  
  
"Your health and the baby's come first, taking down SD-6 is no longer your first priority." He reminded her as she nodded.  
  
"It's still important. This baby and I can never be completely safe until SD-6 and the Alliance are gone." She pointed out as Vaughn nodded.  
  
"I know," he agreed. "So, where are Francie, Charlie and Will?"  
  
"Will's got a blind date. This girl named Jennie. She's from Charlie's law firm." She explained as he nodded. "Francie and Charlie are working. Tonight's the busy night for the restaurant." She added. "I should go." She realized.  
  
Vaughn nodded, squeezing her hands before letting them go. "Get some rest."  
  
"I will." She promised.  
  
"Take care."   
  
Sydney nodded and smiled at him. Looking at him closely, she dared to lean over and quickly kiss his cheek before she walked out of the warehouse.  
  
Sunday evening Michael did something he had promised he'd do for a while - have dinner at his Mother's house. Brigitte was beside herself with excitement, preparing a large meal not only for her son but her daughter, son in law and granddaughter. The house was already bright and busy with activity when he arrived. Charlotte and Maya were sitting in the front yard when he got out of the car. A grin instantly spread over his niece's face and she tumbled over towards him on her toddler legs.  
  
"Mickey!"  
  
Michael smiled as he picked up his niece, kissing her cheek. "How are you Maya?"  
  
"Okie dokie Jones!" She cried, imitating her favorite cartoon - Rugrats.  
  
"How many hours a day does she watch that show?" He asked his sister, kissing her cheek as he placed Maya back in her lap.  
  
"Three. At least." Charlotte laughed. "How are you doing Mike?"  
  
"Good, I'm doing good." He smiled as she nodded.  
  
"Mike, for someone who works for the government and tells everyone else he's a political analyst, you're a shitty liar."  
  
"Char!" He exclaimed, motioning towards his niece.  
  
"What? It's French, she's French." She shrugged as Mike laughed. "Maman said that a girl has you all upset."  
  
"It's not a girl and I'm not upset, I'm fine." He sharply insisted. "How are you feeling?"  
  
"Oh, okay. I feel a lot better then I did with Maya."   
  
Mike nodded. "Well, you can't even tell."  
  
"I should hope not! I'm not even two months! Do you want me to be a blimp when I'm done?" She asked as they both laughed. "Take her so I can get up. We should go in, I know Maman's thrilled your coming."  
  
"What's Pat doing?" He asked as his sister slowly stood up.  
  
"Watching a baseball game."  
  
"Who?" He asked, his interested peaked.  
  
"Mets versus Dodgers."  
  
"Go Mets." He said as his sister laughed, leading them into the house.  
  
Dinner at the Vaughn house was always a happy occasion. Brigitte still lived in the house that she and her husband had raised their family in. It was the house that held nearly all of Charlotte and Michael's childhood memories, and Maya loved playing in the toys her Grandmother had kept. Pat and Mike watched the baseball game before dinner was ready. Then they all sat around the large mahogany table, taking about life and work. Michael watched his sister and brother in laws interaction closely. Patrick had always been a considerate husband, but with Charlotte pregnant he was even more protective. He held chairs for her and made sure she was eating and drinking. A few times Michael even caught Patrick's hand briefly touching Charlotte's still flat stomach. Despite his joy for his sister, he couldn't help but feel slightly left out and melancholy by the end of the evening.  
  
"Michel, are you sure your okay?" Brigitte asked in a soft French when she walked him to the door.  
  
"I'm fine Maman," he replied in kind. His Mother's eyebrow raised slightly and her lips turned into a small frown.   
  
"Your sad Michel, don't lie to me. Whenever you look at Patrick and Charlotte, you're sad." She pointed out, still in her native tongue.   
  
"I can't tell you Maman . . "  
  
"I wish you would Michel, who am I going to tell?"  
  
"Maman . . It's dangerous. . . " He trailed off.  
  
"Your work always is."  
  
Michael sighed and looked up into his Mother's eyes. He wanted to tell her the truth. With every fiber of his body he wanted to tell her the truth. Brigitte was his Mother and he loved her. The truth was, however, that he loved Sydney and his unborn child more. Telling his Mother the truth could potentially jeopardize Sydney and that was a risk he wasn't willing to take for anyone - not even his own Mother.  
  
"You must really love her if you won't tell me." Brigitte commented. "Will I ever get to meet her?"  
  
"One day I hope." He explained as she nodded. She pulled him into a hug, silently reminding him how much she loved him. "Don't shut me out Michel, your Father did when he thought it was best for me and I only drove me insane." She said as he laughed.  
  
"I'll try not to Maman."  
  
"Have a good week at work." She advised as he smiled and walked to his car.  
  
Sydney didn't see her Father roaming the halls of SD-6 until the next Friday. She was nearing the tenth week of her pregnancy and hadn't seen him since he stopped by the previous Saturday. Not to say she hadn't been busy. Sloane had sent her and Dixon on a small reconnaissance mission. She had done op tech while Dixon broke into the master bedroom of an elderly, eccentric millionaire. Her husband had been the former head of an Alliance cell and he had kept a disk of information in the bedroom, where it remained after her death. The mission had been in Sacramento, just far enough away to need to take a plane. While Dixon slept Sydney snuck out the disk and snuck a phony copy back in to give to SD-6. Thus, the CIA got the disk - one step closer to taking down the Alliance. It was a goal that seemed more tangible then ever. Of course, with the life growing inside of her, it was more important then ever.  
  
"Dad," Sydney called, as Jack was about to pass her desk at Credit Dauphine. He stopped and nodded, leading her to the conference room.  
  
"We've got three minutes," he reminded her as he pulled out the pen.   
  
"Thank you . . For coming by last week." She said as he nodded.  
  
"How are you feeling?"  
  
"Fine, I'm fine. I was on op-tech for the reconnaissance in Sacramento. It went off without a hitch."   
  
"Do you . . Need anything?"  
  
"No, I'm doing okay."   
  
"Enough Twinkies?" He asked somberly as she laughed.  
  
"Plenty."   
  
"Good." He nodded. "If you need anything . . "  
  
"I know." She smiled. "I should get back to work." Jack nodded as she stood up and walked quietly out of the room.  
  
  
  
  
Early October came around as Sydney's pregnancy progressed. The California air grew chillier and her stomach grew slightly. The waistbands on her skirts and pants grew tighter as her jackets and shirts grew heavier. Dixon was insisting that she take on more and more of the op tech and leave him with the dangerous work. Vaughn was more then happy to agree with him, although it made it more difficult for Sydney to get the right information to the CIA and the counterfeit information to SD-6. Thus far she hadn't made any faux pas and the CIA remained busy decoding the Bible.  
  
Will and Jennie went out on a few more dates and Will even mentioned the possibility of bringing her over one weekend. Charlie was put in charge of an important case at work while Francie juggled all the aspects of owning a restaurant. Friday nights, however, they still made an effort to get together. Sometimes Amy would come by, sometimes she wouldn't. The group would sit in Sydney's living room eating pizza - and in her case, Twinkies - and playing board games. When they played 'Life', Sydney would even screw protocol and name the tiny blue piece representing her husband Michael.  
  
Sydney hit the twelfth week of her pregnancy on the second Monday of October. She woke up, as usual, in an empty house. For the first morning in awhile she didn't feel nauseous nor did she feel the desire to devour a box of Twinkies. Instead she had juice and some toast before she got dressed. That morning she'd be going into Credit Dauphine late - she had a doctor's appointment first.  
  
The doctor's waiting room was lit with harsh fluorescent lights with ugly plastic chairs and a table in the corner covered with pregnancy and parenting magazines. Sydney wriggled in her plastic chair and glanced around the room. Although she had made the earliest appointment possible, there were already other couples there. Just couples, too, leaving Sydney feeling terribly out of places. One woman didn't appear to be showing at all, and another kept readjusting her seat to accommodate her protruding belly. Men accompanied all. Some rested their hands over their wives bellies and others just held their wives hands. They were all there, a painful reminder that she was doing this alone. Sydney the Super Spy and Solo Mommy. She couldn't help but think it sounded like a children's book series.   
  
After she fingered through a few pregnancy magazines, picking up various tidbits, the rude secretary showed her to a tiny, green exam room. She changed into the paper gown and slid up onto the exam table. The room reminded her of the pediatrician she went to in her childhood. There was a weighing scale and a cabinet full of various medicines. It was a doctor's office, and regardless of all her years of training, she still squirmed with discomfort.  
  
"Miss Bristow," the doctor pleasantly greeted her, walking into the room. "How are you feeling?"  
  
"Much better today." She smiled as her doctor quickly looked over her chart.  
  
"Well I'd say that you're doing fine. All your results seem fine. How about we check and see how you're doing with you weight." She suggested.  
  
Sydney scooted off the table and onto the scale. She wasn't surprised when it showed that she had actually lost three pounds. With all of the nausea she had had, as a result of the pregnancy and job related stress, she hadn't retained much of the Twinkies she had inhaled. She and the doctor spoke for a few minutes about how work was going, about what she was eating and her general lifestyle. Finally, after anxious moments of waiting, came the moment she had looked forward to.  
  
She got down on the uncomfortable table, blinking as the fluorescent light glared back at her. Despite all that she and the doctor had just discussed, she closed her eyes in anticipation. Within seconds, however, she opened her eyes when a distinct hoofing sound filled the room. A look at the doctor confirmed her suspicions - it was her baby's heartbeat.  
  
"Well Miss Bristow, I'd have to say that everything appears healthy. At your next appointment we'll schedule your ultrasound, which will probably be in about two months."  
  
"Okay," she smiled as the doctor helped her sit up.   
  
"You should be feeling better in the weeks to come. Just pace yourself, don't push yourself too far."   
  
"Any ideas on whether it's a boy or a girl?" Sydney asked hopefully. The doctor laughed and shook her head.  
  
"It's a little too soon to tell. We can probably look at the ultrasound, if you still want to know."  
  
"Thank you." She smiled as the doctor nodded, reminding her to make an appointment on her way out before leaving her to change.  
  
She walked purposefully into SD-6 headquarters later that morning. People worked around her, oblivious to her entrance as she approached her desk. Dixon was on the phone, but smiled and waved at her as she put her briefcase down. She was about to sit down and start some paperwork when Jack came up.  
  
"Today was your appointment . . Wasn't it?" He asked as she smiled and nodded. The simple fact that her Father had remembered something she had mentioned so off-handedly meant a lot to her. Every little step counted, as a Mother to be she appreciated it even more. "How was it?"  
  
"It's fine. I heard the baby's heartbeat." She explained in a low voice. "It was amazing."  
  
"Yes . . Well, I remember." He said as she nodded. "Do you need anything?"  
  
"I'm okay. I'm feeling better this morning too."  
  
"I'm glad." He said, offering her the tiniest hint of a smile. "Well, I'll let you return to your work." He said in his normal tone. She nodded and smiled at him before she returned to her paperwork.  
  
Since it was the day of a doctor's appointment, it was an understandably busy day for Sydney. Will, Francie and Charlie had already convinced her to let them come over that evening and make her dinner so they could hear all about the baby. Her friend's sweet words and insistence had made her smile. Maybe the women in the doctor's waiting room had had their husbands with them, but she had one thing they didn't - three of the best friends in the world. Before she could return to her warm home and comfortable pajamas, she had agreed to meet Vaughn at the warehouse.   
  
When she walked into the cage she was disappointed and slightly alarmed to see him still in his suit from the office. When he stood to greet her, his expression was one of business, causing her heart to drop a level with more disappointment. "We had a walk in at the CIA today."  
  
"What? Who?"  
  
"Otto Jeter." Sydney recognized the name as that of the man who headed one of the more powerful SD cells.  
  
"What? Sloane didn't say anything - "  
  
"Sloane most likely does not know. He claims he wants to help bring down the Alliance. On one condition."  
  
"Which is?"  
  
"He wants total immunity for his actions. Including ordering the deaths of a few dozen agents from the CIA and other various law enforcement agencies."  
  
"Well are you going to give it to him?"  
  
"We have to check out the rest of the Bible before we agree to anything." He explained. "Right now he's in custody until we decide what to do next."  
  
"I can't believe he'd just walk in like that . . . why the CIA?"  
  
"We don't honestly know. Other then Jeter spent extensive time in New York growing up and most likely feels he can get the best deal from the CIA."   
  
"This could be huge . . "  
  
"Well, even if it is, I don't want you talking to him."  
  
"What? Why not?"  
  
"There is a very slim possibility that Jeter's still in contact with someone on the outside and in the Alliance. We don't want him to report talking to you in CIA headquarters and have it end up back with Sloane." Vaughn pointed out. Sydney nodded and sat down, still in shock.   
  
"I can't believe this . . . "  
  
"Even with Jeter's cooperation, taking down the Alliance isn't going to happen over night." He reminded her. She nodded, already aware of that.   
  
"So what can I do?"  
  
"Just wait. Continue to do what your doing. For the mean time you can't do anything that involves Jeter." He explained as she sighed, frustrated but knowing it was true. "So . . How was your appointment today?" He asked, hoping to sound blasé.  
  
"It was good." She said with a small smile. "I got to hear the baby's heartbeat . . . It was . . Incredible." She explained, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear as her smile grew. "How's Charlotte doing?"  
  
"Fine. She's fine." He answered as she nodded.   
  
"Well . . I should go. Charlie, Francie and Will are waiting for me." She explained as he nodded. Seconds before she turned to leave, he grabbed her hand and looked into her eyes. They stood silently for a few seconds, just looking at one another. A goofy grin spread over her face from instinct. Stolen moments, simple touches even prolonged looks were gifts when she was with him. Her expression grew serious as she took his hand and placed it on her stomach. Although it couldn't be seen, he could feel a slight pouch where the baby was growing. Vaughn swallowed and closed his eyes as his hand rested there. Even with the magnitude of the unspoken love he felt towards her, it was the most powerful connection he had ever felt with her. Their baby was an amazing miracle, one they had made together, and it was right there inside of her. Thoughts of how much he loved her, how much he loved this unborn child, and how amazing he truly believed she was floated around his head. Hesitantly he forced his eyes open and she offered him a sweet smile while she squeezed his hand. Seconds later he let go and she walked out of the warehouse.  
  
Standing there, his hand on her stomach, he had felt it. It was different, although no weaker then the instant connection he had felt with Sydney the first time she walked into his office, bozo red hair and all. The connection was now there. That was his child in there. That marked the very first moment he felt close to being a Father. Vaughn had never felt more love or more helplessness in his entire life.  
  
Sydney's house was warm and busy with her friends when she walked in the front door. Francie spotted her first, smiling and hugging her as she walked in. "So how was it? Did you hear the heartbeat?" She asked eagerly.  
  
Charlie and Will laughed at her eagerness while Sydney put down her keys and briefcase. "Give her a break Francie, she just walked in." Will reminded her.  
  
"Where's your girlfriend?" Sydney asked him, noticing that it was just the four of them.  
  
"Her name is Jennie and we've only been on a few dates." He corrected. "Tonight she's working on a very important deposition."   
  
"Do you even know what a deposition is?" Francie teased as they all laughed. "C'mon Syd, how was the appointment?"  
  
"It was scary, but wonderful. I heard the heartbeat too, it was amazing." She said as Francie's eyes softened.   
  
"I am so happy for you!" Her best friend declared as they shared another hug. As they were separating, the doorbell rang. Sydney shrugged and went over, surprised to see her Father standing there.  
  
"Dad . . . Would you like to come in?"   
  
"I was hoping we could share a word out here." He said carefully. She nodded, stepping onto the front stoop. "I was going through some things this past weekend . . I came across this. I thought you might like it." He explained. Going inside his coat, he pulled out a tiny folded bundle of aged white cotton. Sydney unfolded it to find an obviously aged but beautiful christening gown. She looked up at her Father, confusion evident on her face. "It was mine . . . My Mother's, actually. Your Great Grandmother's best friend made it. It's a family heirloom. You and I were both christened in it."   
  
Sydney blinked back the tears she felt brimming. This wasn't something her Father would have simply come across while cleaning - this was something he had sought out for her and her baby. "Thank you . . It's beautiful."  
  
"There are some other things . They're mostly in storage. Heirlooms from my family . . . I believe there might be a crib. If you'd like to have them, perhaps one weekend we could . . . Look through it together." He suggested with slight discomfort.  
  
Although Sydney knew he was struggling, she also saw her Father working to be the Father she remembered from the youngest days of her childhood. After a few seconds, she leaned over and hugged him. Jack remained frozen, but slowly his arms wrapped her close to him. "Thank you Dad," she said softly, still wrapped in the safety of his arms.  
  
Slowly they broke apart. "Yes, well, you should probably be going inside. You need to get rest." He advised her. Sydney brushed away her tears and nodded.   
  
"Thank you."   
  
"Your welcome." He said, giving the smallest of smiles before turning around and heading towards his car.  
  
Sydney walked into the house, careful to lock it behind her. Walking in to the kitchen, she folded the outfit as she walked. "What was that about?" Will asked.  
  
"This is my Christening gown. It's from my Dad's family . . My Grandmother was christened in it too." She explained.  
  
"That's so sweet of your Dad." Francie commented.  
  
"Yeah, it was." She agreed with a smile. "I'm going to go put this in my room and change, I'll be back in a few minutes."  
  
  
  
Sydney anxiously waited that weekend. It was the first weekend in awhile that she anticipated. Usually she dreaded weekends. It meant she rarely saw Vaughn, or Francie and Charlie since they had the restaurant. Now that Will had Jennie, Sydney was officially by herself on Friday nights. She didn't mind that night; instead she stayed in and watched a Kings vs. Canucks hockey game on ESPN, knowing that somewhere Vaughn was doing the very same thing.  
  
She was up bright and early Saturday. The doctor had told her she'd feel better, and she did. For the first time in a few weeks she went for her morning run, breathing in deep to take in the autumn air - at least what wasn't polluted with smog. Once in awhile she'd pause if her eyes fell on a baby in a stroller or a toddler being chased by its older brother. She had always liked children, but during those days she was drawn to them far more then ever before.  
  
Early in the afternoon she and her Father met in the parking lot of an old self-storage building in western Los Angeles. Jack was already waiting by his car when Sydney parked next to him. Although he was wearing his long trench coat, her Father had dressed casually, sending her slightly off guard. Especially when he threw a small smile in her direction and led her towards their storage.  
  
The afternoon marked a milestone for the two of them. There were things that Sydney had forgotten all about. Heirlooms and puzzle pieces of her childhood. Various aged stuffed animals and dolls that she had treasured at various points in her life. Her Father had been correct and there was a beautiful, handcrafted sleigh cradle and matching crib that had been in the Bristow family for generations. Along side those were photo albums from her childhood and her Father's childhood. They sat looking through the photos, Jack occasionally offering an anecdote for a particular photo. It was a cherished, unexpected insight into her family and a glimpse of the Father she had nearly forgotten existed.  
  
After they finished searching through the storage facility, her Father surprised her by suggesting they go to dinner. In the years since she had discovered the truth about SD-6 she had made several failed attempts to have dinner with him. Then to have Jack suggest it was something she hadn't expected but wasn't foolish enough to turn down. Their cars were parked in the restaurant of Francie's restaurant, which wasn't too crowded since it was still early evening. They sat across from one another, their orders having just been taken.  
  
"I have to start interviewing for Nannies soon," Sydney commented, taking a sip of her water. Jack gave her a sharp look and leaned in close to her.  
  
"Sydney, don't do that."  
  
"Dad, I work full time, it would be impossible - "  
  
"You do not want to get a nanny." He insisted in a low, sharp voice. "Sloane will not try to hurt you this late into the pregnancy, that would cause too much attention. He would have no problems planting a nanny and arranging a convenient case of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome."   
  
Sydney's eyes widened and she nodded, fully understanding the implication. Her Father was right, and she knew it. There were so few people she could really trust, and when her baby was born the list would be even shorter. Even with Jeter's cooperation there was still bound to be time between the baby's birth and the destruction of the Alliance and SD-6.  
  
"What am I going to do?"  
  
"There is Francie and her husband. Your friend Will." He explained before taking a sip of his drink. "Then there's always me."  
  
She didn't bother to hide her surprise of skepticism. The waitress approached, serving them their food. They kindly thanked her before returning to her conversation. "There's no need to be so surprised. I know how to change a diaper and care for an infant." He said in a blank tone.  
  
Sydney nodded. Her Father had a point. Jack Bristow was one of her few and best options in childcare. "You work too Dad."  
  
"When was the last time Sloane sent me on a business trip?" He reminded her.  
  
Once again her Father was correct. Perhaps he hadn't been Father of the Year for the majority of her childhood. He had always protected her though; at least done his best to do what he thought would protect her. There was no doubt in her mind that he would never willingly let anything happen to her, or in a few months, her child. "We'll make the arrangements when the time comes. The baby would be much safer with myself or one of your friends then some stranger that Sloane could have ties with."  
  
"Dad?" She said softly. Jack stopped, about to cut his steak, and looked up at her. She was smiling as she spoke, "thanks."  
  
"The baby will, of course, have to be born at Our Lady of Mercy," he continued. Sydney nodded, already aware that her child would enter the world in an SD-6 hospital. "They will not, under any circumstances, allow you to have this baby any way but naturally." He added, causing her eyes to sparkle with confusion. "If you have a cesarean section it would be a mandatory six week maternity leave, and I assure you Sloane intends to have you back sooner then that."  
  
"I'm entitled to my six weeks if I want to take them," she reminded him.   
  
"Legally, Sydney, but I don't need to remind you the legal system isn't always relevant in the world we live in."   
  
"I know," she softly agreed.  
  
"So, have you begun to think about the theme for the nursery?" He asked pleasantly.  
  
"I haven't had too many ideas. Francie already has a whole list made. She's always been better at things like that though. She keeps telling me it'll be easy to make the nursery if I find out what I'm having."  
  
"Well, will you?" He asked, glancing at her.  
  
"No, I want to be surprised."   
  
"Then be surprised. There are plenty of neutral themes." He reminded her.   
  
"What was the theme of my nursery?" She asked suddenly.  
  
Jack paused for a moment before he allowed a tiny smile to cross his usually stoic features. "Teddy bears. Growing up you loved teddy bears. Actually, you loved them until you went away to school. I'd come home at night and you'd always be asleep, but up until you started high school you kept a row of thirteen or fourteen bears of various sizes on the side of your bed when you slept. When you were younger you'd show me how you could make your bed and how the bears had names and were to be strategically placed on a specific place on the bed . . . You loved those teddy bears." He concluded, returning to his dinner.  
  
"I had forgotten about that . . .I still have all of those bears . . Somewhere."  
  
"You took ten of them with you to high school, and then all thirteen with you to college."   
  
Sydney laughed. "I have sentimental weaknesses . . . "   
  
"Sydney, there's nothing wrong with being sentimental." He insisted, causing her to look up at him once again. "I know . .I Don't tell you this nearly enough . . . However . . . I am very proud of you . . . Of the woman you've become. I have no doubt you'll be a wonderful Mother."  
  
"Thanks Dad." She smiled warmly before returning to her food.  
  
Sydney didn't return home until late in the evening, carrying a bag full of various baby clothes, photo albums and old toys that had caught her interest. The heirloom furniture had been too big to move and it was too soon for it anyway. Francie and Will's cars were in the driveway when she arrived home and she frantically searched her memory and her purse, hoping to find her keys and remember if she had a predetermined meeting with her friends. Luckily she found her keys under her checking book and remembered that they had casually said they'd drop by Saturday night after the rush at the restaurant.  
  
"Hey Syd," Francie smiled at her, walking into the living room with a glass of wine.  
  
"Hey guys. What's up?"  
  
"I'm beating everyone at Scrabble." Will proclaimed.  
  
"That's because you have a lame job and we're letting you." Jennie bantered and smiled at Sydney. Sydney had met Jennie only once before, not only because of her personality but because she made Will so obviously happy.  
  
"What's in the bag?" Francie called as Sydney walked into the kitchen.  
  
"Just some things from storage. There are some photo albums. Some old toys and baby clothes of mine."   
  
"Did you have a nice time with your Dad?" Charlie asked. She walked back in, kicking her shoes off into the corner as she sat down between Charlie Jennie.  
  
"Yeah, we did. We stopped by the restaurant, we must have just missed you guys."   
  
"Next time," Francie suggested. "The important thing is that you and your Dad had a nice afternoon together."   
  
"I decided not to get a nanny," she declared. "Instead my Dad's going to help."  
  
"Well I thought a nanny was absurd to begin with," Will reminded them. "We can help."  
  
"Yeah, and the bank's just going to have to cut down on your trips, especially at first." Francie added.  
  
"Or you could quit the bank and become a teacher." Charlie suggested.  
  
"I can't quit the bank . . . Not yet at least." She said softly. There was no easy way to explain her predicament without endangering her friend's lives. Soon enough, she thought hopefully, with Jeter's cooperation and a bit of luck and work and it would all be over. "Francie, what do you think of Teddy Bears for the nursery theme?"  
  
Francie looked up from her letters to smile at Sydney. "I love that! I considered that but I wasn't sure you'd go for it! That way your ready for either a boy or girl!"   
  
"I still say William Bristow is an awesome name." Will chimed in as Jennie hit him with a pillow.  
  
"I really think Laura would be nice for your Mom." Francie gently added as she smiled, once again thankful for her best friends sweet thoughts.   
  
"I'm thinking about it," she reassured them.   
  
"So when can we start the nursery?"  
  
"Well we're going to need the guys help . ." She trailed off, looking hopefully at Will and Charlie.  
  
"Fine, fine, we'll help." Charlie agreed as Will nodded.  
  
"There are some really nice family pieces in storage. There's a crib and a smaller cradle that I thought we could keep out here. I have an armour and the glider and ottoman that belonged to my Mom."   
  
"I think those will be awesome to use," Jennie spoke up. "You aren't even showing yet."   
  
"If you look hard enough you can see it," Sydney insisted with a smile. "I'm in no rush to show, I'll be showing soon enough." She promised. There was a tiny part of Sydney that wanted to start showing sooner rather then later - the sooner she showed the sooner she had insurance that she was unable to be the point part of a mission.  
  
"Your so thin you'll never show." Francie teased.  
  
"I'll show," Sydney promised with a smile. "So, when do I get to play?"   
  
Her friends stayed late into the night, playing Scrabble and laughing. They were quickly learning why Will was so infatuated with Jennie. She was a sweet girl, but she also managed to tell jokes that were even lamer then his were. Discussion ranged from problems at the restaurant to Jennie's newest case to Sydney's 'evil' boss - a discussion that she remained silent on. Her friends were unaware of just how true their insults were. Arvin Sloane was far more evil then they could ever know.  
  
The following weekend Sydney laid around her house, lacking all energy. During the course of the week she had caught a terrible head cold from Dixon, who had caught it from his daughter who had caught it at a Halloween party. There hadn't been any missions that week, instead filling out paperwork and discussing various strategy. She had only seen her Father briefly, but he always asked how she was feeling and if he needed something. It was the thought that counts.  
  
Charlie was running the restaurant that night and Will and Jennie were on a date. So Francie had volunteered to come over and hang out with her. She had been too tired to argue. Instead she laid in the living room while she listened to Francie listing all the various things they were pulling together for the Halloween party the restaurant was having. It was the second annual party; the first had been a smashing financial and public relations success for the cafe. That year Sydney was understandably ducking out, instead she was going to stay home and hand out candy - that was if she wasn't on some mission for SD-6.  
  
"Are you going to dress up?" Francie asked her as they watched Dirty Dancing on USA.  
  
"What am I going to be, a pumpkin?"   
  
"That's a great idea!" She eagerly agreed. "We can paint your stomach-"  
  
"Francie, no thanks." She cut her off with a smile. "I'm going to wear regular clothes and answer the door. If I don't have a lot of trick or treaters I'll just go to the restaurant."  
  
"We'll come over afterwards if it's not too late. You need your rest."  
  
"Thanks." She smiled, glad her friend understood.  
  
"Hey, are those maternity clothes yet?"   
  
Sydney looked down at her outfit, regular jeans and a t-shirt. The clothes were tight but they were still hers. "No, not yet."  
  
"Maybe we could go shopping next week and pick you up some. Some of the stuff is just so cute!"   
  
She laughed. "Are we talking about maternity clothes or baby clothes?"  
  
"Both!"   
  
The phone rang and Sydney smiled by way of apology and answered it. "Hello?"  
  
"Joey's Pizza."  
  
"Sorry, wrong number." She said, her heart lifting. Her mind raced as she tried to consider why he'd be calling her for business. If it was for personal reasons he would have used another call then Joey's pizza. Either way, she now had to meet him. Turning towards Francie, she smiled. "I really need Twinkies. I'll be right back, okay?"  
  
"Do you need me to go?"  
  
"I can do it. Watch the movie. 'Mambo Madness' is soon," she reminded her, motioning back to the television. Francie smiled and nodded and Syd slipped out of the house.  
  
Although Vaughn was waiting for her in jeans and a leather jacket, she knew by his posture that he was about to tell her business. "Have you ever heard of a man named Oliver Cavilerri?" He questioned, skipping all formalities.  
  
"No, why?"   
  
"He's mentioned several times in the Bible and Jeter mentioned him in his debriefing. Now that we've finished decoding the Bible, we'd like to take him in to custody. Jeter claims that he can convince Cavilerri to meet him and then we can bring him in. You need to know that Cavilerri is reported to be in close contact with several SD leaders, Sloane among them."   
  
"So what's Sloane going to want us to do?"  
  
"Well if we can get Cavilerri into custody, he won't do anything. Sloane needs to keep up the pretense that SD-6 is part of the CIA. Sending anyone in to free Cavilerri would quickly end that farce."   
  
Sydney nodded and sat down. "I can't see or talk to Cavilerri if you get him?"  
  
"No, you can't. It's just too much of a risk that your double agent status would be leaked out."   
  
"Sloane's not too thrilled with me right now anyway," she mumbled. Vaughn nodded and then looked down at his shoes. After a few tense seconds, he glanced back at her.  
  
"How did last weekend go with your Dad?"  
  
"Good," she smiled. "We had a really nice time. We're still working on getting to know one another better, but we had a nice time. We even went out to dinner afterwards."  
  
He nodded, "good, I'm glad. Are you feeling okay?"  
  
"I'm fine." Sydney knew he was concerned and she never doubted that she was ever too far from his mind. She didn't want him to have to worry any more then he already was. Then, suddenly, without warning her eyes started to well with tears.   
  
"Syd?" Vaughn's voice was laced with concern as he knelt down next to her, searching his jacket until he handed her a tissue. "Syd, what's wrong?"  
  
What's wrong? What wasn't wrong? This was supposed to be one of the best times of her life. On the surface it was. Her friends were some of the most good-natured people she had ever encountered. They loved her and were going to help her with her child without question. Her relationship with her Father was being successfully albeit slowly pieced back together again. She was having the baby she never thought she'd have, and her pregnancy was progressing well.   
  
The rest of it was a mess. Her boss was an evil man who wouldn't hesitate to kill her child at the first chance he'd get. There was no possibility of even looking at the Father of her Child in public, let alone having him at her side when she gave birth. Her only chance to see him was in a cold, dark warehouse where no one in the outside world could know or see. Together they were working to tear down the Alliance so that they could be free to be together and she could be safe again. It was a tangible, yet still distant goal.   
  
"I'm okay . . I'm fine," she promised as she calmed down, wiping her eyes with the tissue. "I have these horrible hormones," she excused as he laughed and nodded.  
  
"Can I do anything?" He asked, his eyes sad, as she shook her head no. The reality was that he could do absolutely nothing for her, no matter how desperately he wanted to help.   
  
"I should get going," she realized and stood. "Francie's waiting for me. I told her I needed to get Twinkies." She explained as he smiled. "You'll contact me if you make any progress?" She asked as he nodded. After they shared another smile, she turned and walked out of the warehouse.  
  
  
  
  
Will sat on the living room sofa, watching a Charlie Brown cartoon while Sydney walked in carrying two big bowls of candy. His eyes widened as she put them down and she swatted his hands away. "The candy is for the trick or treaters."   
  
"I could be a trick or treater." Will protested as she rolled her eyes. Jennie had agreed to work late to prepare for a big case that went to trial on Monday so he had come over to spend Halloween with her. After a long workweek, Sydney welcomed the company.   
  
The CIA and Jeter had convinced Cavilerri to meet them at a park in Los Angeles. He was captured and had been in custody since Wednesday night. The only problem was that Cavilerri wasn't willing to talk or even negotiate the possibility of immunity. As a result of Cavilerri's capture, Sloane had spent most of the week angry and brewing in his office, although there was nothing he could do without risking SD-6's CIA-cover story.  
  
On a positive front, the CIA had managed to finish decoding the entire Bible. Sloane had spoke of a mission to New York City that he was considering sending them on next week. It would entail stealing a dozen computer disks with information essential to keeping SD-6 functioning. Through Jeter's cooperation the CIA had already discovered that the disks contained vital information not only on SD-6 but the entire Alliance and it's leaders, past and present. Obtaining the disks would be a huge hurdle in destructing SD-6, and with Jeter's help the CIA was compiling computer disks with enough realistic information to keep Sloane happy for a while.  
  
"Are you going to go trick or treating next year?" Will asked her as she sat down, nibbling on a miniature Snickers bar.  
  
"With a six month old?" She reminded him as he shrugged. "No, I think we'll probably stay home next year, " she smiled.  
  
"That's going to be so much fun."  
  
"Are you going to brainwash my child into adoring you?" She teased.  
  
"There's no brainwashing involved. To know Will is to adore Will." He declared as she laughed and tossed a pillow in his face. "So are you going to tell me what names your thinking about?"  
  
"No Williams, Francine's, Jennifer's or Charles'." She told him as he sighed.  
  
"Keep William open. It is a good name." He said as she laughed and shook her head.  
  
"Give it a rest." The doorbell rang before he could retort. Suddenly Will was too absorbed in his cartoon to answer the door. "It's still early."  
  
"Probably toddlers," Will called as she grabbed the bowl. Sydney smiled and opened the door. Will's assessment had been right and it was a large group of toddlers and their parents.  
  
There were astronauts and dinosaurs and firefighters and policemen. A few little girls were Barbie or animals or even a few Winnie the Pooh characters. Everyone was clamoring for candy, and every tiny little face smiled brightly and thanked her. Sydney was seconds away from closing the door when a tiny ballerina wobbled down the pathway and a familiar voice calling out for the tiny ballerina to stop.  
  
The brunette ballerina, who was surprisingly tall but still obviously a toddler, smiled up with big blue eyes and held out her bag with a "pwease."  
  
"Where's your Mommy or Daddy?" She asked, bending down and smiling at her. She shrugged, smiling mischievously. Just then Vaughn emerged, clearly out of breath and in casual clothes.  
  
"Maya, don't ever do that ever again," he scolded. Sydney looked down at her carpet and wondered what in the worlds the odds were of this encounter. Vaughn had no idea where she lived - at least not to her knowledge, and she doubted he would purposely stop by her house.   
  
"Candy pwease," she said again as Sydney smiled and put a handful of candy into her basket. Slowly she stood up and smiled apologetically at Vaughn, who looked surprised to see her.  
  
"Sorry about her . ." He said awkwardly.  
  
"It's okay." She promised and then looked down at Maya. "I like your costume a lot."   
  
"Thanky." She grinned and then took her Uncle's hand. "C'mon, more candy!" She reminded him, tugging at his hand and leading him back down the path. Vaughn looked at her one more time over his shoulder and smiled softly before he continued on his way with Maya.  
  
Sydney sat back down in the living room and smiled at Will. "Are you okay?"  
  
"I'm fine . ." She promised and shrugged. "Do you think children can turn out okay without ever having a Father?"  
  
"I guess. It depends. Your going to be a great Mom Syd, and I'm sure that eventually you'll get married and your baby will have a Father. You and the baby already have Danny as your guardian angels, so this baby's got one up on the competition." He reasoned as she laughed and nodded. "So Syd, girl or boy?"   
  
"What do you think?"  
  
"I want you to have a boy, but I think we already know that's for my own selfish reasons." He confessed as she smiled. "Have you started thinking about childbirth classes?"   
  
Sydney was obviously surprised he would think of something like that. "I talked to my Mom today. We were talking about it. She says congratulations," he confessed.  
  
"Tell your Mom thank you. I really haven't thought about it. I'm going to have the baby at Our Lady of Mercy."  
  
"That's a good hospital. I wrote a story about them once. They have an extremely low cesarean section and newborn mortality rate." He explained as she smiled, not sure if that was comforting or upsetting. "What about a labor partner?"   
  
"Francie's out of the question . . " she thought aloud as he nodded.  
  
"I'll do it." He offered as she looked at him. "What? Don't look so surprised. I'll be there for you if you want me there."  
  
"Thank you Will, that's so sweet." She smiled and leaned over to hug him. The doorbell rang again as they separated. "Here we go again," she stood up and went to answer the door.  
  
Francie and Charlie didn't come by until long after the trick or treaters had stopped coming. The Halloween party had been a huge success and their initial count of the profits was huge. They talked about how the party went - Francie mentioned that her Father had stopped by and asked for her. Aside from that it was wonderful. All of the patrons loved the food and the decorations and the music. It had been another sounding success for FC Cafe.  
  
Monday morning Sydney sat in the SD-6 conference room with Dixon and Marshall, awaiting Sloane's arrival. Having spoken to Vaughn she already suspected that this meeting was to inform them that they were going to leave for New York City that night. The information on those disks was too vital to not take action and she knew it was a mission that she was going to have to take the point on, whether she wanted to or not. She was starting to doodle and make a list of baby names in her portfolio when Sloane walked in, obviously fuming anger as he stormed to the front of the room.  
  
"This is Otto Jeter," he explained as a picture of a balding, aging man popped up onto the screen. "He's the head of SD-1. Unfortunately . . He along with several other SD heads have been . . . Detained and possibly compromised." That's one way of putting it, Sydney thought.   
  
"So what are we going to do?" Dixon asked.  
  
"This is where Jeter keeps some of his offices," he continued as the image flipped to a large building. "He works from New York City. You two are going to leave tonight," he explained and handed Dixon and Sydney the Intel. "In Jeter's office on the fifteenth floor there is a case of a dozen computer disks. On those disks there is information that is essential to the countries security and safety. Sydney, I'd like you to go in and pose as someone interviewing for a consultation job in Jeter's office. Since Jeter is detained, you will be meeting with a business associate of his. Dixon will be on op tech. At some point he will create a diversion that will cause Jeter's associate to leave the room. In that time you are to find the disks, which we believe to be in his desk, and then excuse yourself immediately after he returns. Will you be able to do this in your . . Condition?" He asked Sydney. Despite his words, his tone left no room for discussion.  
  
"I'll be fine." She promised with a half smile.   
  
"That's all. Marshall will fill you in on the op tech. Now if you excuse me, I have a meeting to attend." Sloane explained and then stalked out of the room.  
  
Sydney walked into the warehouse that afternoon. She had just left the Credit Dauphine offices for the day, having agreed to meet Dixon at the assigned airport later in the evening. Now all she had to do was be assigned her counter mission before she could return home to pack and rest for a little while. Having been assigned the point in this mission wasn't something she was thrilled about, but she knew it was necessary to obtain the information. Doing Optec on this mission would be too risky, leaving open the possibility that SD-6 could have the correct information would only put the CIA behind. They were too close to tearing down the Alliance to risk it.  
  
"Are you sure your going to be able to do this?" Vaughn asked immediately.   
  
"I'll be fine, I just walk in, pick a couple of locks and walk back out." She shrugged.   
  
"These are for you," he said, handing her a stack of computer disks. "The secretary outside Jeter's associate's office is going to be a CIA agent. When you walk out you'll hand her the real disks and then give SD-6 these. We have a couple of agents inside the building so you should be okay."   
  
"Got it," she nodded and put the disks into her bag.   
  
"We have an EDD." He said as she looked at him on confusion. For her EDD was Estimated Due Date, she had no idea what he could possibly mean. "Estimated Date of Destruction. D-Day. It's just an estimate, and it could be up to a month before or after, but around the date."  
  
"Well, what's the EDD?"  
  
"May 16th."   
  
"Really? That soon?" She asked, although she couldn't hide her smile.   
  
"Yes. As the date gets closer, we'll have to see whether you're back at work or not. If you are were going to figure out a way to keep your double agent status a secret during all of this, just in case Sloane has any hit men still left when the time comes." He explained as she nodded.  
  
"Not the Witness Protection Program though."  
  
"No, nothing that extreme. Possibly arrest you with everyone else. Or have you out of the building at the time. As much as you'd like to confront Sloane when the time comes, it will most likely be too dangerous for you to do so."   
  
Sydney nodded. Her safety came before her need to insult revenge on Arvin Sloane. "When the time comes, I'd like Dixon and Marshall to be treated carefully. They're good people, good men. Just like most people in that office, they believe they're already doing good and working for the government." She reminded him as he nodded. "Who knows, maybe Marshall could teach your Optec guys something." She suggested with a shrug.   
  
"I'm sure he probably could," he agreed with a smile.   
  
"I should go. I have to go pack and get ready to meet Dixon." She explained.   
  
"If anything goes wrong, don't forget we have an agent right outside the office. You won't be wearing a CIA comlink for the mission, but she will, and she'll be able to hear everything that's going on inside the office." Once again she nodded and he gave her an encouraging smile. "Good luck."  
  
Under the alias of Jennifer Barrett, Sydney had a meeting the next afternoon in Jeter's building in Manhattan. Dixon was sitting in a parked van outside, waiting for her to get in position before he created a diversion. She was let immediately into the waiting room. There was a pleasant looking woman sitting behind the desk, who smiled at her. To Sydney's trained eye the pin on her lapel was obviously a comlink that matched the earrings she was wearing. Before she was able to say anything to the woman, Jeter's associate let her in.  
  
"Ms. Barrett, what brings you to our humble establishment?" He asked as they sat down.  
  
"I just finished my graduate studies at MIT," she explained as he nodded. "Throughout my education I have heard only wonderful things about this place. When I heard that you had a consultation position available . . . I just jumped at the chance." She finished with a bit of an added southern drawl and a sweet smile.  
  
Before the man could respond, his secretary paged him out into the waiting area. As the door closed behind her, she heard Dixon's voice tell her it was clear on her comlink as he created a diversion. Quickly she walked behind the desk and started pulling at the desk drawers. Not surprisingly she was unable to find the disks in any of the unlocked drawers. Using Marshall's simple lock picking device she opened the bottom right hand drawer and let out a sigh of relief when she found the disks under a pile of old newspapers. "I've got them Dixon," she whispered as she walked around the desk and stuffed the disks into her bag, glad that the CIA had put the counterfeit disks into blue cases.   
  
Sydney had just enough time to sit down and zip her bag shut when the man walked back in. "I apologize Ms. Barrett, we had a slight problem with our computer system. It's the first time it's ever happen, please don't consider this a usual problem," he smiled at her. Before she could respond, her beeper went off.  
  
"I'm so sorry . . It's my housekeeper. 9-1-1. I have to go," she said in distress, standing as the man did so.  
  
"Yes, then, go. Please call when you're able to reschedule another interview. We're very interested in getting to know you." He said as she smiled and shook his hand, letting herself out the door.  
  
The secretary was waiting when she walked out. Without a word she placed the legitimate case of disks on the secretaries desk and moved the counterfeits to the top of her bag. Both women exchanged a smile before Sydney started to walk out of the office. "I've got the disks Dixon, meet me at the extraction point."  
  
"Gotcha Syd," he spoke back into her ear as she hurried to the elevator. The sooner she was back in Los Angeles, the better. 


	4. Coming to Terms Chapter 4

Title: Coming to Terms (Chapter 4)  
Author: UConn Fan (Michele)  
E-Mail: LoveUConnBasketball@yahoo.com  
  
Authors Note:   
My life is sad - I'm watching a Yankees-Braves 1996 World Series Game on ESPN Classic. Good news is that UConn season starts November 23rd! Yay! :)   
Thank you SOO much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! I love you all **So** much. I would love to respond to you personally, but right now I only have internet @ my Dads, and I'm only there twice a week (at best) so it's kind of hard to do. Please don't think I don't appreciate it. Whoever said they were adding this story to their favorite stories list, THANK YOU SOO MUCH! lol, I spent all of last Saturday SOOO excited about that, I told my Mom, Dad & sister, I was soo excited :) Everyone's kind words mean so much to me.   
  
Also (if anyone cares) any guesses on what Syd's having and a name? The clock is ticking now. I'm trying not to skip over significant periods of time while also not dragging my heels too long at one stage in the story/pregnancy. If anyone has any comments on whether I'm going to fast/slow, feel free to leave me a comment. Plus, let me add that I already know what Syd's having AND I'm cemented on a first name. My sister and I are debating middle names, we're not quite in agreement yet, but we've got time (my poor little sister's sick, keep her in your prayers!) But I'm open to suggestions on names, especially if I can tie them in with the middle name. I think my first name is SOO original - I swear, if anyone takes it in a story before I get to post the birth, I will be SOO bummed. Hopefully I can churn this baby out quick enough that I keep my name idea my own :)   
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Sabrina, The Teenage Witch, The Little Mermaid, Star Wars,the Lakers, Kobe Bryant, The Kings and certainly not any Alias-related character, place, etc. I'm having fun, please don't sue.   
  
PLEASE NOTE: This was written PRIOR to MANY MANY MANY late season 1 episodes. Sydney's Mother has not been found. Will is still oblivious to Syd's true occupation. Charlie isn't a creep (obviously, they're married). I mention Emily still being alive. It's all pretty obvious. Please don't hold the timeline against me. I had no idea of all the twists and turns JJ was going to make. Please just enjoy the story as it, and please please PLEASE give me feedback! :) I just LOVE everyone that has!  
  
Also, I've never had a baby, and at the rate my body works, I probably never will. I do know that ultrasounds take place *usual* in a healthy pregnancy during the 20th week. I've read various places about different points in the pregnancy to take childbirth classes, so just go with it, okay? :)   
  
Okay, finally, here's the story! (Please read & respond :))  
  
  
  
  
A Wednesday evening meeting at SD-6 was filled with Sloane telling her and Dixon was patriots they were and how wonderfully they served their country.  
  
The half hour long meeting caused Sydney's nausea to return.  
  
For their accomplishments, Sloane awarded them the rest of the week off. After all, in his words they had helped secure their beloved countries safety and security. They should be proud of themselves. Sydney was proud of herself, although more for successfully betraying Sloane then having helped advance his interests. Helping a snake like Sloane was the absolute last thing she wanted to do ever again.  
  
Sydney spent most of Thursday sleeping. There was too much, good and bad, racing in her head. Soon enough not all the make up or clothes in the world would be able to hide her pregnancy. That weekend she had promised Francie they'd go shopping for maternity clothes, a promise she knew she'd have to keep. Now that Francie was married with the restaurant, they never seemed to have enough time together. With her baby's birth just a few months away their time to hang out together would soon enough be cut even more short. She knew Francie would help her with as much as she could, and she didn't doubt her friends' word, but helping her with a baby wouldn't be the same as the two of them having fun together.  
  
Friday morning she went for a run, taking in the cool early November air. Houses and public buildings were preparing for Thanksgiving and soon enough it would be Christmas. A look at her watch reminded her that Vaughn's birthday was only three weeks away. Yet another significant thing she wouldn't be able to celebrate with him. In her heart and dreams she hoped that at that time next year things would be different. Maybe she'd be teaching. Maybe she'd take some time off. The most important thing was that she dreamed of having a normal life, of being happy with her child and Vaughn. If she were lucky, perhaps her Dad would be a significant part in her life. Nothing would make her happier.  
  
In the park she saw young parents walking babies or playing with toddlers. There were even a few grandparents out with their children and grandchildren. Normalcy was something so many people took for granted. People like Francie and Charlie, Will and Jennie . . . They took it for granted that they'd wake up every morning next to the person they loved. They had the freedom to be with whomever they loved. They were free to have children without fear that the child would become a pawn.   
  
Sydney knew in a perverse way she enjoyed being a spy. The fundamentals of espionage were in her blood. Both of her parents were spies and she could only imagine how far back it went in her Mother's family. She would gladly drain it from her system to allow her the possibility of being normal. Being normal with Vaughn wouldn't be like it would have been with Danny. No matter how much she loved Danny - and she had full heartedly loved him - it would have been a ruse. Vaughn would never ask her Father's permission to marry her like Danny had, even though the gesture would have been more significant now then it was then. Jack Bristow, she hoped, respected Vaughn enough to approve of his relationship with his daughter - once, of course, SD-6 was no longer in existence.  
  
She paused to rest at a bench and caught her Father walking towards her. She blinked a few times to make certain who it was while he sat down next to her. "Is running safe in your condition?"   
  
"I'm fine," she smiled as she took a deep breath. "Helps me clear my mind."  
  
"You did good in New York."   
  
"Thanks," she smiled. "Sometime in February or March can I get into the storage facility and get some things for the nursery?"  
  
"Of course. Will you need help moving things?"   
  
"Sure," she agreed, happy he had offered. "Charlie and Will are going to help too."   
  
"Francie and Charlie's Halloween party was very nice."  
  
"Yes, they said it was great." She nodded. "Francie and I are going shopping this weekend."   
  
"Do you need anything?"  
  
"I'm okay." She insisted with a smile. She stood and stretched for a second before she looked back at him. "I'll see you later." Her Father simply nodded and she went back to her jogging.  
  
The next afternoon Francie and Sydney went baby/maternity shopping for the first time. She was nearly sixteen weeks and while she thought she was showing, everyone else thought she was insane. Although Francie insisted she didn't want any children yet and when she did she only wanted one, she had an excellent time shopping. They kept to their agreement and only bought maternity items, even though both were tempted when they stopped to look at baby clothes and other tiny infant items.  
  
Saturday night was spent alone. Her eyes kept wandering over to the phone and her fingers itched to call Vaughn. Instead she laid on her couch, looking over Our Lady of Mercy's pamphlet on childbirth classes and tours of the hospital. Her pregnancy still had a long ways to go, but there was so much to do and prepare for. The worse part was the sense of dread in her blood, knowing Vaughn couldn't be a part of any of it.  
  
Since she wanted to see him so badly, it only made sense that Sydney didn't get to see Vaughn again until the following Wednesday. Sloane had sent Dixon on a solo mission to Tokyo for the duration of the week to obtain information on Rimbaldi. With the possibility of the destruction of SD-6 so close at hand, Sydney knew that the Rimbaldi artifact had taken the back burner. That had meant there was no counter mission, leaving her to wonder why he had called her to the warehouse Wednesday night.  
  
"Hi," she greeted with a smile as she walked in.   
  
"Hey," he smiled, his grin silly as he looked at her. "Are those clothes new?" He asked.  
  
Sydney felt her cheeks turn red as she looked down at her outfit. The November night was as chilly as it ever became in California, and she had grabbed a large denim jacket to toss over her corduroy overalls and black-shirt. She had bought all of it the weekend before, and since her original plans had included stopping at the restaurant, she thought it would be nice to wear the clothes she and Francie had just bought. "Yeah. Maternity clothes." She confessed.  
  
"Well . . They're nice." He complimented as they smiled at one another. "Cavilerri's finally talking."  
  
"That's great. We're one step closer to the take down. I'm just sorry I couldn't go get the Rimbaldi information."  
  
"Don't worry about it, Rimbaldi's the least of the CIA's concerns. If the FBI worries about it that much, they can use their own resources, right now we're busy with the Alliance."  
  
"Is that why you called me?"  
  
"No . . I called you because I was worried." He admitted, unable to meet her gaze. "I haven't had the chance to see you in awhile . . I know it's dangerous and against protocol, but I just needed - "  
  
"I'm glad you called." She stopped him with her words and her smile. "I've . . Missed you." She muttered softly, just loud enough for him to hear her and smile. "How's Charlotte doing?"  
  
"She's fine. Feeling much better now." Vaughn explained. "I'm sorry about Halloween . . And Maya. I didn't even consider the possibility of ending up at your house."  
  
"Maya is very cute." She commented as he nodded.   
  
"She looks a lot like my sister."   
  
Sydney smiled; trying to imagine what Maya would look like as an adult. Her mind created a picture of a tall woman with features similar to Vaughn's.   
  
"How did the Halloween party go at Francie and Charlie's restaurant?"  
  
"Very well, but it always does well," she smiled as he nodded. "I should go," she realized regretfully. Vaughn understood with a nod.  
  
"Take care," he spoke softly. She smiled and nodded as she turned and walked out of the warehouse.  
  
There was plenty to keep her busy of the next couple of days, both in and outside of the Credit Dauphine building. Francie realized that Thanksgiving was only a few weeks away as Sydney realized that Vaughn's birthday fell on Thanksgiving that year. The restaurant was historically deserted on Thanksgiving Day. With that in mind, Syd suggested that Will, Jennie, Francie and Charlie come over and celebrate with her. Not only would that give her the privilege of having her friends around her on the special day, but it also meant that someone else would be doing the cooking.   
  
The second Monday of November marked the sixteenth week or fourth month of her pregnancy. Will left that morning for a journalist's convention in Sacramento. The week was remarkably quiet, with Will gone and Francie and Charlie busy with the restaurant. Francie managed to come over a few nights that week. They'd sit around watching television and debating names that Francie found in a book of baby names she had bought. Her best friend enthusiastically made suggestions, with names ranging from Brittany ("Francie, are you serious? Brittany Bristow?" She pointed out as Francie had wrinkled her nose in disgust) to Anaken ("Anaken? There's no way that's in there!" She protested. "It is, it's right here!" Francie insisted. "I'm not giving birth to a Star Wars character.") To Sebastian ("This is a baby, not a red lobster from a Disney movie," had been Sydney's response) to Sabrina ("When she grows up, she'll be a teenage witch?" Sydney asked her best friend dryly). By the end of the week she was still left with a list of names she disliked that was longer then the list of names she liked.  
  
With SD-6 taking her health in to consideration, Sloane sent her on fewer missions. As a result, she had significantly less work-related reason to meet with Vaughn. It also affected how much Intel the CIA was getting, although her Father was still in Sloane's good graces. According to her Father, the CIA was making huge progress in destroying the Alliance and SD-6 without her help. She was glad that the CIA was making progress that would allow her freedom, but she couldn't help but wonder if she was needed at all. If she wasn't needed to help take down SD-6, what was her purpose, to help the enemy by pushing papers?  
  
"The work you've done - and will continue to do - is extremely vital to what we're doing." Vaughn strongly reminded her as he sat across from her in the warehouse. She had called him there on the third Tuesday of the month in a hormonal phase of self-doubt. Having spent most of her recent days sitting in meetings and filling out paperwork at her SD-6 desk, she had grown despondent and depressed. At seventeen weeks she hadn't even felt the baby move yet and was frustrated that all of her second trimester energy was going to waste while she sat at a desk.  
  
"I'm sick of doing absolutely nothing!"   
  
"You're doing something Sydney, you're growing a child." He gently pointed out.  
  
"Yes, I'm growing a child, and by not working to take down SD-6, I'm not doing a damn thing to insure that this baby will be able to live a safe, happy life."   
  
"What do you think I'm doing?" He questioned in a low baritone. "Working to take down the Alliance is the only thing I can do for the both of you. Trust me, trust that I'm doing everything I can to insure that you and the baby *will* have a safe, happy future."   
  
While her mind had been working overtime, flooded with thoughts and ideas as she sat at her desk in boredom, she had never considered it from that angle. Her trust in him was not to be questioned, she trusted him with everything vital in her life. He was the only person in her life who listened and supported her without question. Even the vast shadow of the CIA and its protocol hanging over them, he supported her because of who he was and not because of his job description.  
  
"I'm sorry," she shook her head and smiled at him. "You know I trust you. I just *hate* that I can't do anything."  
  
"Syd, you've already done so much. We wouldn't have the Bible or the disks in our possession. If we didn't have the Bible, we certainly wouldn't have Cavilerri in custody," he reminded her. "Just because you need to stop now doesn't mean that your work has gone unnoticed or no longer matters. What you have done is *essential*, and will not be forgotten by anyone at the CIA anytime soon. I promise you that."   
  
"I hate waiting."  
  
"I know," he nodded. "What are you going to do for Thanksgiving?"   
  
"Francie, Charlie, Will and Jennie are coming over," she explained. "I was thinking of inviting my Dad too."  
  
"Good," he commented.   
  
"Thanksgiving is your birthday, isn't it?" She casually asked, although she was already aware that it was his birthday.  
  
"Yeah, it is." He nodded, a hint of a smile on his face. "I'm going to my Mother's house. Charlotte, Patrick and Maya should be there."  
  
"That's nice." She smiled. He looked at her and nodded, a trace of sadness on his face. There was no point in hiding the longing they both felt to spend the holiday with one another. In his dreams, Vaughn would walk in to his Mother's house with Sydney by his side, introducing her to his immediate family and joyously announcing their upcoming arrival. The real world, however, would see him with his Mother, sister and brother in law and she with her friends, a short geographical distance apart but it might as well be a million worlds away.  
  
"I hope that your Father accepts your invitation."  
  
"Yeah, me too." She nodded. "I should get going. I'm supposed to pick Will up at the airport. He's getting back from his journalist convention."   
  
Vaughn nodded, working to contain the jealousy he felt towards a man he had never even met. An insane jealousy, given the fact that he was the one with the girl and not Will, but he wanted nothing more then to share the simple, normal things that Will was able to share with Sydney. No matter what he felt towards Sydney, or her towards him, he was still very much an outsider on her life, his nose pressed up against the window and his wide eyes carefully looking in.   
  
Sydney flashed him a full smile, her dimples visible before she walked past him. He was unable to stop himself from looking over his shoulder and watching her walk out of the warehouse, and once again out of his life.   
  
  
  
  
Friday came, and with it the unofficial countdown to the beginning of the holiday season. She sat at her desk, completing even more mind-numbing SD-6 paperwork, when her Father walked by. "Dad?"  
  
Jack stopped and looked at his only daughter. "Yes, Sydney?"  
  
"Do you have a minute?" She asked softly. Without hesitation he nodded and led her into the empty conference room. He pulled out his pen and reminded her that they had three minutes. "I was wondering if you were doing anything for Thanksgiving."   
  
"No, I have no plans," he blankly responded.  
  
"Well . . Francie and Charlie are coming over, and Will's coming with his new girlfriend . . .Would you like to come?" She questioned, struggling to keep a neutral expression.  
  
Her Father took only a few seconds of deliberation to respond. "Yes, that would be fine."  
  
"Okay. You could come over at about four, we'll eat a little bit after that." She suggested with a smile. This was the first Thanksgiving since her childhood that they would spend together, and the first one in her adult life that they would choose to spend together.   
  
"I'll be there," he nodded and stood up. Sydney watched as he walked out of the room.  
  
Sydney spent the majority of her weekend with Francie. Charlie and Will managed the restaurant while they went shopping to prepare for Thanksgiving. There was a menu to prepare and recipes to find. Jennie had already agreed to bring dessert for her new friends, meaning one less thing to buy and prepare. Francie's one attempt at cooking a turkey, on the Thanksgiving that Charlie proposed, had been disastrous. Needless to say Sydney agreed that she would make the turkey and stuffing and her friend could cook all of the side dishes.  
  
The last week of November was a short week at SD-6. Sloane was leaving Tuesday night with Emily, who had decided it would be a nice idea to spend Thanksgiving in Plymouth, Massachusetts. Since her remission, she had been suggesting they travel and see more, taking advantage of the time she had been given. She was even trying to convince Sydney to allow her to throw her a baby shower, thrilled at Sydney's upcoming arrival. While Sloane's implications that she was like a daughter to him made her skin crawl, Sydney smiled at Emily's maternal instinct towards her. Laura Bristow was dead, and Irina Derevko was the enemy. Emily Sloane, regardless of her choice in spouse, was the best and closest thing she had to a mother.  
  
Francie arrived late Wednesday night to start preparing for the next big day. Sydney hadn't seen Vaughn all week and fought the urge to call him. There would be the proper place and time to wish him a happy birthday, and it wasn't when he was spending time with his family. She had her own plans to look forward to, including her first real holiday with her Father. Starting that night, Francie kept her too busy in the kitchen to consider her Father or Vaughn, or even the destruction of the Alliance. Instead she focused on making candied potatoes and mashed potatoes from scratch. There was stuffing to be made and muffins to be baked. She had to live the life she had instead of focusing on the life she so desperately wanted.   
  
Will and Jennie arrived late Thursday morning. Charlie and Will parked themselves in the living room watching the various Thanksgiving Day football games. Francie and Sydney had been up early watching the Thanksgiving Day parade before returning to work in the kitchen. The day was filled with a lot of rushing to prepare meals before they had to sit down and wait for everything to be done cooking.  
  
"Syd, what's wrong?" Will asked, nudging her with his foot. She looked up in surprise. Her Father would be there soon, but instead of being worried about having him there, she was far too preoccupied with what she was missing.  
  
"Nothings wrong." She insisted with an attempt at a smile.  
  
"You're not nervous about your Dad, are you?" Francie asked sympathetically. "It's going to be fine Syd, I'm really glad he's coming."  
  
"Me too," she sincerely replied. No matter how thrilled she was at her Father's presence, her mind kept wandering back to who wasn't there. That was Vaughn's birthday, and he was somewhere without her. With her pregnancy and their baby's life growing more everyday inside of her, it only seemed right that he should be there with her. Under any other circumstances, and he would have been in a heartbeat.   
  
A short time later Francie went to start set the table and brought the side dishes out. The doorbell rang only seconds later, announcing Jack Bristow's arrival. Sydney stood and straightened the wrinkles out of her black maternity jacket. She opened the door and smiled at her Father, instantly relieved that he was there.  
  
"Hi," she moved out of the way to let him in.   
  
"Hi," he greeted, carrying a bottle of wine.  
  
"Hey Mr. Bristow," Will greeted, standing to shake the man's hand.  
  
"Mr. Tippin," Jack greeted. Will then introduced Jack to Jennie and Charlie reintroduced himself before he offered to take Jack's coat.  
  
"I know you can't drink it, but I bought wine."  
  
"Thanks Dad," Sydney smiled and took the bottle. Before she could walk into the kitchen, Francie walked out to announce that dinner was ready. She took the wine from Sydney and directed everyone to go wait in the dining room, refusing all offers Sydney made to help.  
  
Jack carved the turkey and everyone sat down to dish out his or her sides. The dining room was quickly filled with the scent of good food and the sound of laughter. Will related a few anecdotes from his recent trip to Sacramento while Francie shared the horrors that came with the inner workings of a restaurant. Eventually, just as it always did those days, by dessert the topic of conversation turned towards Sydney's upcoming arrival.  
  
"At least work isn't sending you on as many business trips." Francie commented.  
  
"Yeah, although I never realized how boring it is to just sit at a desk and do paperwork." Sydney responded.  
  
"Hey, have you felt the baby move yet?" Jennie asked with a smile, fascinated by her new friend's pregnancy.  
  
"Not yet. I'm eighteen weeks, so I feel like I should have by now."  
  
"What does the doctor say?" Jack said with paternal concern in his eyes. She knew her Father's first thoughts went to the possibility that Sloane had done something to harm the baby   
  
"That as long as I feel movement by the twentieth week, it's fine. Since this is my first pregnancy, I might not recognize the baby moving even if I do feel it."   
  
"I think it's a boy," Will reminded them as he took a huge bite of his pie.  
  
"You just want it to be a boy. There's no way you have any intuition about it whatsoever." Sydney protested with a smile.  
  
"What do you think she's having, Mr. Bristow?" Francie asked.  
  
Jack glanced sideways at Sydney. "As long as I have a healthy grandchild, I have no preference."  
  
"I really hope it's a girl so you can name it Laura." Francie commented. Both Jack and Sydney looked briefly at her and then exchanged glances. While they were still rebuilding their relationship, he knew that his daughter would not name her daughter Laura for a myriad of legitimate reasons.  
  
"I like Alexandra, it means protector of mankind." Jennie suggested cheerfully. She smiled at the suggestion but knew it wasn't going to happen. No matter how nice the meaning of the name, Alexandra was far too close to the name Alexander Khasinau for her to use the name on any child of hers.  
  
"William Bristow," Will mumbled.  
  
"No!" Francie, Jennie and Sydney all protested in unison. Jack and Charlie laughed as Will's cheeks turned red.   
  
"I can't until Christmas is done and you let me start getting the nursery ready. I can't wait to see all of your families old baby pieces," Francie smiled.  
  
Sydney grinned, "calm down. I have the rest of the pregnancy to go, there's plenty of time for you to finish the nursery."  
  
"Mr. Bristow, will you be helping us move furniture?" Will asked.  
  
"Yes, of course. I'll be there."  
  
"Syd, have you signed up for childbirth classes yet? You should probably start them soon." Charlie reminded her.  
  
"I'm going to sign up next week." She smiled.   
  
"Francie, will you be Sydney's coach?" Jack asked as she wrinkled her nose.  
  
"Oh no Mr. Bristow, I would be a horrible coach. Sydney needs someone who can help her, not someone who will pass out at the first sign of body fluids!" She insisted as they all laugh.  
  
"I'm planning on being there in the room with Syd." Will spoke up. Jack nodded and glanced at his daughter, wondering if she had informed Agent Vaughn of her plans.  
  
"You still look really good Syd, I'm so jealous. I hope when I'm pregnant I look half as good as you do." Francie complimented.  
  
"You're being silly. I'm only eighteen weeks. Soon enough my belly button will pop and my ankles will be swollen," she insisted.   
  
"I'll go with you to sign up for classes if you want," Francie offered. "Just not until next week. We're going away tomorrow."  
  
"You are?" Sydney asked in surprise.  
  
"Yeah," Charlie grinned. "It was sort of a surprise. We're going to Arizona for a long weekend."  
  
"That's really sweet," she smiled as everyone agreed. "Are you two doing anything?" She asked, directing her question at Jennie and Will.  
  
"We both have to do some work, but we'll probably hang out at my place. Are you going to be okay here by yourself?" Jennie asked in concern.  
  
"I'll be fine," she insisted with a smile. Deep down she wanted to tell them that she had plans of her own, but she knew she couldn't.   
  
"Jennie, this pie was delicious." Charlie complimented.  
  
"It was. Anyone want seconds?" Sydney offered, grinning as she stood up.   
  
They sat talking and eating pie long into the night. Sydney watched, as her Father seemed to slightly relax as the evening progressed. At some points he was just as involved in the conversation as she was. Her Father sat talking to Charlie and Will about the Lakers. Jack insisted that Kobe Bryant was overrated, which led to Francie joining the conversation to defend her beloved basketball player. Sydney was surprised at how, for a brief time, her Father seemed normal. Apparently he watched basketball and read the newspaper and lived a life just like any other Father in the world. More then that, despite his initial protests, he was an eager Grandfather-to-be. Most of all that realization warmed her heart and made her smile.  
  
"I really think tonight was a success." Francie smiled warmly. Jack and Jennie had left and Will and Charlie watched football in the living room. Syd was in the kitchen with Francie, wrapping up the leftovers and cleaning up from the mess. "Your Dad seems to be warming up to the idea of being a Grandfather."  
  
"Yeah, he is." She agreed. "He wasn't really happy in the beginning. He was worried about me not being married . . About how my boss would react if he found out who the Father is . ."  
  
"Does your Dad know the baby's Father?"  
  
"Yes, he does. I haven't come out and told my Dad who the Father is, but I know he knows."   
  
"Does he like him?"  
  
"Does my Dad like the baby's Father or does the baby's Father like my Dad?" She asked, confused with the question.  
  
"Both."  
  
"The baby's Father . . . He doesn't always agree with my Father, but he respects him. I don't think he'd ever admit it, but he admires my Father. Sometimes I think it's impossible not to admire my Father in some way." She pointed out with a shrug. "My Dad . . . I don't think I'm ever going to find a man that my Father will ever completely approve of, but I really do believe that Dad likes him. Even if he refuses to admit it."  
  
Francie laughed. "My Dad took awhile to warm up to Charlie, but now I think he likes Charlie more then me!"  
  
"I guess Fathers never stop seeing us as the five year old girls who adored them." She suggested in a low voice with a soft smile.  
  
"Yeah," Francie agreed. "So, what are you doing tomorrow?"  
  
"Nothing, why?" She asked, alarmed that her friend had sensed something.  
  
"I think you've got a little secret rendezvous with your mystery man that you don't want Will or your Dad to know about." She whispered with a grin. "I think it's wonderful too. I really can't wait to meet the guy."  
  
"I hope you get to meet him one day Francie, he would love to meet you."  
  
"He knows about me?"   
  
"Of course he knows about you!" Sydney insisted.   
  
"I'm so jealous of you, you know that, you are barely even showing." She commented again. Sydney shook her head and looked down at her stomach. She was wearing a black dress with a matching black blazer. Black was by far her best and most thinning color.   
  
"I can't even fit into my regular clothes anymore. I'm starting to show and I'm starting to gain weight."  
  
"It's totally normal. Your body is so unfair Syd, seriously, you'll probably give birth and be your normal weight the next day." She playfully teased.  
  
"We'll see about that. Just promise me you'll be there as soon as I'm done giving birth."  
  
"I promise, once all the blood and body fluids are gone, Charlie and I will be there with bells on."  
  
Sydney smiled and hugged her. "Thanks Francie."  
  
"Your welcome Syd," she smiled and pulled back. "Have fun tomorrow, promise me, no matter what your doing. Don't go to the bank."  
  
"I'll stay very far away from the bank and work, I promise."   
  
  
  
Sydney lay wrapped up in the warm bed. A tiny voice in the back of her mind kept reminding her why she shouldn't be there and why instead she should be a hundred miles away at home. She needed this though, for her heart and her soul, she needed a few stolen hours. It was Thanksgiving weekend, and with Sloane away and her Father temporarily in control of SD-6, this was her best and probably last chance to do this before the baby was born.  
  
The bed dipped down with his weight as he slipped in to the bed behind her, snuggly wrapping his arms around her. His breath was warm on her cheek when he rested his chin on her shoulder and nestled her close to him. "You're worried," he whispered and brushed a kiss across her ear.  
  
"I'm always worried. Aren't you?" She glanced over her shoulder and briefly met his lips.   
  
"Right now, here with you, I try not to." He explained as she smiled at him.  
  
"I feel safe here with you, if that's what you're worried about."   
  
Silently he held her tighter and she felt him nod against her shoulder. Her eyes slipped shut and she allowed her breathing to slow down as she relaxed. "I wish it didn't have to be like this," he whispered.  
  
Slowly she opened her eyes and wrapped her arms over his. "So do I."  
  
"At least I'm here, celebrating my birthday with you." He pointed out. Her head shook and she looked back at him.  
  
"Today's not your birthday."   
  
His green eyes closely studied her for a second before he dropped a kiss to her bare shoulder. "Let's just pretend it is."  
  
"How long can we keep pretending?"  
  
"As long as it takes." He whispered. She lay still as his body moved so that he was looking down at her, meeting her eyes. "Syd . . This . . Us. What we have here isn't pretending." He reminded her gently.   
  
She looked up at him, her brown eyes full of trust as she nodded. "I know," she agreed as their lips met for a few seconds of safekeeping.  
  
They separated and he pulled her back into his arms. Sydney peacefully laid there, enjoying the brief time where she could be happy, comfortable and at peace. She was only seconds away from caving in to sleep when her eyes shot open. "Syd? Syd, what is it?"  
  
Without speaking she took his hands and placed them on her slightly curved stomach. "I think I felt the baby move." She whispered.  
  
"Really? For the first time?" He was unable to hide his smile when she nodded.  
  
"Yeah, I think so," she glanced back at him and smiled. "Whoa, I was starting to wonder if I was ever going to feel the baby move."   
  
His warm chuckle soothed her spirit. "Don't worry, if the baby is anything like it's Father, it'll be playing hockey in there before this is all over with."   
  
"I'm having a single baby, not the entire Kings starting line up." She dryly pointed out.  
  
"I know," he laughed. "How much longer until the ultrasound?"   
  
"Seventeen days," she informed him and squeezed his hand. If there were any way to have him safely at the ultrasound, she would do it in a heartbeat. There was no way though, not without risking severe harm to him or their child, and she refused to compromise them. They were far too ingrained in her future post-SD-6 plans to even gamble the chance. They were going to be her future, and she needed to see to it that they were safe. In turn, she and the baby were his future and he took every step to insure their safety.   
  
"Are you going to ask what is it?"  
  
"Nope, I want to be surprised," she grinned as he smiled.  
  
"Surprises are good. What do you think it is?"   
  
"I don't know," she shrugged. "I really just want to be surprised."  
  
"Me too." He agreed. "Just as long as it isn't an Arvin," he pointed out and kissed her cheek.  
  
"No Arvin's," she vowed as she cuddled closer to him. "I decided on a theme for the nursery."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Teddy Bears. It was the same theme my nursery had."   
  
He smiled, "I like that."   
  
"Me too. Francie was thrilled when I told her." She grinned at the memory.   
  
"Do you remember that teddy bear I gave you last Christmas?" He questioned as she nodded with an odd glance in his direction. "The obviously aged one?"  
  
"Yes, I remember. I had a very difficult time explaining where I got it."   
  
His arms grew tighter before he continued. "My Grandparents were wonderful people. Very wonderful people. My Grandmother would let me get away with anything growing up . . . " He smiled at the memory. "They loved one another very much. My parents loved one another very much too, but it was different. They went through a lot in their marriage. It took them seven years to conceive my Mother, and my Grandmother almost died having her . . . My Grandfather would do anything for my Mother or Grandmother . . . They were married for about fifty years before my Grandmother died of colon cancer. They loved one another very, very much. My Mother used to tell Charlotte and I that if we ever wanted to see what love looked like, we should just look at a picture of our Grandparents together. You could actually see the love between them, it was amazing."  
  
Sydney looked at him, a small smile on her confused features. "What does that have to do with the bear?"  
  
"That teddy bear was the very first thing my Grandfather ever gave my Grandmother. When we were cleaning their home after my Grandfather's death, my Mother gave it to me. Both she and Charlotte loved that bear, and it was obvious they both would have taken it, but she gave it to me."   
  
"Why?" She asked quietly, now fully confused.  
  
"It's become a symbol in my family, an heirloom. My Grandparents are the type of couple that Charlotte tells Maya about in fairy tales. My Mother gave me the bear because she wanted me to save it and give it to the woman I intended to bring into our family."   
  
"Thank you," she whispered, moving in his arms so she could wrap her arms around his neck. "That's beautiful."   
  
"I wanted you to have it, you don't need to thank me." He whispered back, kissing the shell of her ear.   
  
She smiled and looked up at him, deciding to change the subject to something more light-hearted. "What do you think of the name Emily?"   
  
"After Emily Sloane?"   
  
Sydney glanced up at him, "yes, but she's a wonderful woman."  
  
"Yes, I'm sure she's a wonderful woman. It's a nice name. Just very common nowadays."   
  
"Why? You don't like common names?" She asked, sitting up and pulling the sheet with her.  
  
"No, Syd, of course not, common names are fine." He sat up and sighed. Times such as that, when they could really be together, were so rare that he didn't want to disturb their created sanctuary by starting an argument. "I grew up with a common name though, and it can really be a pain in the ass to always be referred to be your name and last initial."   
  
"Oh," she thoughtfully declared. "I hadn't thought of it that way."  
  
"It's okay," he smiled and kissed her shoulder. "There's plenty of time Syd, I'm sure whatever name you pick out I'll like."   
  
She nodded and watched as he slipped out of bed. "I should go shower."   
  
"Okay," she said with a small smile, her eyes on him until he was out of sight.   
  
She stayed there, laying in his arms and feeling their baby's first movements, until the earliest hours on Saturday morning. The streetlights were still on when she pulled out of the parking lot and started the two-hour drive home. He had been half awake when she kissed him and snuck out, knowing it wasn't safe to risk staying any longer. Even with aliases and havens hours from home didn't make things completely safe. It had broken her heart to leave him there, not daring to leave him a note on the slight chance it fell into the wrong hands. Now she had to return to Los Angeles, to her life as Sydney Bristow, super spy and future solo mommy.  
  
There was something beautiful and poignant about seeing the California sunrise while one drove on the Pacific Highway heading home. Her thoughts danced over her uncertain future. So much was unknown, would the Alliance really face destruction, would she ever have the normalcy she craved. Life could be so bitterly unfair. A decade ago she had had no idea what she was getting in to, what a life altering decision it would be to call the number on that crisp, white business card. She had been insane, believing she fit a profile. What profile is that, she wondered, the profile of your average daughter of two spies? How many of us can there possibly be, she thought questionably.  
  
Now she was having her own child. Her greatest wish for her child was that it would be happy and raised as the child of two normal, loving parents. Gender was unimportant, her Father had been correct. In her line of work, in her life, the most essential thing was that the baby was healthy. Sydney was not going to be like her own Mother. She had her Father and Vaughn to insure that it never happened. There was no way she would ever willingly walk away from her own child or lie to the baby's Father. She might have half of Irina Derevko's blood running through her veins, but Sydney was not her Mother. Jack Bristow's influence was too strong for her to ever become that type of person, and Vaughn's belief and faith in her far too true to ever allow her character to falter.  
  
Sydney remained busy the remainder of the weekend. She helped run the cash register at the restaurant Saturday and Sunday afternoons when Francie was short staffed. The rest of the time, she and Francie sat debating various drawings and colors for the nursery. All of her friends had been thrilled when she announced that she had experienced the first movement, now just waiting for the time when they could feel the baby moving too.  
  
SD-6 kept her busy on Monday. She spent her morning in meetings about Rimbaldi, Jeter and Cavilerri, listening to Sloane go on about how the government's security was being compromised because of Jeter and Cavilerri. Afterwards she patiently sat in Marshall's office, watching as he showed off all of his new gadgets and ideas. He was sweet and entertaining. Plus, anything was better then doing more paperwork.   
  
Sydney took the next day, the first Tuesday of December, off. At nineteen weeks she drove over to Our Lady of Mercy Hospital. There seemed to be hundreds of sheets of paperwork to fill out in order to register for childbirth classes and a tour of the maternity ward. Even though she was only filling out paperwork, she was relieved to be doing something productive, even if it wasn't at all related with destroying the Alliance.  
  
In the early afternoon Sydney attempted to lie down for a nap before the phone rang and Joey's Pizza summoned her to the warehouse. She took a jog to the warehouse, allowing herself to exercise and enjoy the early winter air. Winter, Christmas and the New Year were just around the corner. More important in Sydney's mind, however, was that her ultrasound was a short six days away. Her first glimpse at the life she was soon to bring into the world.  
  
Vaughn was waiting for her, going over files when she walked in. He looked up and his face flirted with a smile, allowing his dimples to show. "How are you feeling?"   
  
"Fine," she smiled. "I signed up for childbirth classes today."   
  
"That's good. Our Lady of Mercy?" He asked as she nodded. Vaughn had anticipated that her labor would take place at an SD-6 hospital and knew it was impossible to stop it. "Did Francie go with you?"  
  
"No. Actually, Will's going to be my coach."  
  
His eyes widened and he was obviously displeased with the news. "Will? Why Will?"  
  
"Because I asked Will." She shrugged, not seeing why this meant so much to him.   
  
"Damn it Sydney, I don't want him as your coach!" He snapped. Sydney's eyes widened and she stepped back slightly.  
  
"That sounds suspiciously like an order." She pointed out in a low voice.   
  
"Your right, it is." He agreed, not lowering his voice. "It's my baby too and I *don't* want Will to be your coach!"  
  
"Damn it, I'm the one who's going to be in labor!" She reminded him loudly. "It's not as though you can be there!"  
  
His face darkened at her words. "Don't you think I know that? That I don't sit at night agonizing over the fact that you're going to bring my child into the world and I can't even be within a fifty mile radius when it happens?" He reminded her. His eyes closed and he pinched the bridge of his nose. Sydney silently watched as he took a few seconds to pace and regain his composure. Turning back towards her, he spoke gently. "Can't you just ask Francie?"  
  
"No, I asked Will. Francie gets squeamish." She restated. "What's the big deal?"  
  
"The big deal is that I don't want Will's face to be the first male face my child sees!" He snapped.  
  
Sydney's face softened and she dared to step closer, placing a hand on his arm. "Vaughn," she whispered, beckoning his eyes to meet hers. "You don't have to worry about that. I promise. This baby will never confuse Will as its Father. This baby will know that you are its Father, I promise."   
  
"I know," he nodded; glad to hear the words from her mouth. "What about your Father?" He suggested gently. "Especially since you're in an SD-6 hospital, wouldn't it be safest to have your Father as your coach?"  
  
She had never considered her Father, although it did make sense. Even if Francie weren't squeamish, having her Father by her side would only be right. That way the first male face her child sees would be it's only Grandfather. Plus, having her Father there could only help their relationship and hopefully help foster a good relationship between the future child and it's Grandfather. Especially if her Father was going to help her with childcare as he promised.  
  
"Think about it." Vaughn smiled.   
  
"I will. Are you okay with this?"  
  
"In time I will be," he nodded. This wasn't an easy transition. Becoming a Father never was, especially if you can only see the Mother of your child in dark warehouses under the guise of giving her nonexistent counter missions. Looking at her, he thought of a million things he wanted to say and nothing seemed appropriate. Certain things needed to be held back until it was safe, until the time was right for things to be said and shared.   
  
"I should go. I was going to rest for a little while."  
  
"Do you need anything?"  
  
"I'm fine, I can handle everything." She promised. Vaughn smiled and nodded as she reached out to briefly squeeze his hand before walking out of the warehouse.   
  
Sydney went Christmas shopping with Jennie and Francie that weekend. She had already been invited to the Sloane house for Christmas Eve and was unable to refuse Emily's sweet invitation. The mall was a madhouse, full of teenagers and people Christmas shopping. Her eyes were drawn to strollers carrying newborns and toddlers, preschoolers who scampered after their parents and begged for toys. The three women snuck into the various baby stores, studying the tiny little outfits, shoes and various baby accessories that were out there. There were so many things to buy, so many things to choose from. On that particular day, however, she found her eyes drawn back to a tiny L.A. Kings onesie with thoughts of one day.  
  
The obstetrician's office didn't open until nine in the morning. Sydney had scheduled the earliest appointment, eager to get a glimpse at her baby. Francie had thought ahead and snuck a blank tape into her tote bag with a note to ask the sonographer to tape the ultrasound so they could all see it. The idea was ingenious and she made a mental note to thank her best friend for being so wonderful.   
  
She flipped through parenting magazines as she anxiously waited to be called in. The waiting room was once again full of couples, not single Mothers, and she felt incredibly alone. Nothing about life was fair, a bitter lesson that she had begun to learn at a young age. There was certainly nothing in her life that was fair. Finally, twenty minutes after she arrived, she was ushered in to a room.  
  
They sat going through the necessary humdrum at the beginning of her appointment. She was surprised to find out she had only gained twelve pounds. Her stomach was swollen and she was unable to hide the life growing inside of her. She had been so certain she had gained more then that. Her doctor promised she and the baby were fine, she was the right size and her baby's heartbeat was fine.  
  
After being handed a paper gown and slippers, she was led into a back room with a sonography and a sonogram machine. Carefully she lay down and held her breath as the sonographer placed a cool jelly on her rounded belly. "How have you been feeling?" Her doctor asked with a kind smile.  
  
"Pretty good. I just keep waiting to wake up one morning and feel horrible, but so far it hasn't happened. I still really like Twinkies." She admitted as her doctor laughed.  
  
"Your on desk duty at work?"  
  
"Yes, completely. It's nearly mind numbing," she confessed.  
  
"You'll be back on your feet and busy way too soon. Enjoy the time while you have it," she advised. "You've been avoiding stress?"  
  
"The best I can," she smiled. That was impossible as a double agent, even a double agent on desk duty, but she had been resting as much as possible.  
  
"I saw you signed up for childbirth classes. Pretty soon it'll be the final count down."  
  
"Yeah, I can't believe how real it all is. I'm hoping my Dad will be my labor coach."  
  
"That would be nice," the doctor agreed. "Ready to see your baby?"  
  
"Yes," her grin so wide it nearly broke her face. The doctor gently pressed the machine down on her stomach. Within seconds the familiar thumpthumpthump of her baby's rapid heartbeat danced through the room. She smiled and watched as a grainy image popped up on the massive machine. "That's my baby," she whispered in awe.  
  
"That's the baby," the doctor agreed. "There's the head," she pointed to the screen. "Those are the legs . . . Looks like it's a thumb sucker," she suggested as Sydney's eyes filled with tears of joy. "Would you like to know what you're having?"  
  
"No, no thank you, I want to be surprised."  
  
"The baby's heartbeat is nice and strong. Looks like the baby doesn't want to stay still either," she commented as the baby's image danced on the screen and she felt the movement inside of her. "Would you like some pictures too?"  
  
"Yes, that would be wonderful," she agreed. The doctor nodded and went to get some pictures printed out. Sydney laid on her back, staring in fascination at the grainy image that moved on the screen. That was her child, and in a few short months it would be out in the world, it's own human being. Her hand wandered down to her stomach, resting it over the gentle swell. Boy or girl didn't matter, it was apparently healthy and it was her job to insure that it was happy too.  
  
"Here you go," the doctor smiled as she walked in. The doctor wiped the gel off of her stomach and helped her sit up.   
  
"Thank you," she smiled when she was handed the glossy black and white images of her child.   
  
"When you leave, make an appointment with the receptionist. We're going to want to do a glucose test in about a month and a half to see if you have gestational diabetes."  
  
"Okay," she nodded. "Thank you so much."  
  
"Your welcome Ms. Bristow, and congratulations." She commented, handing her the videotape out of the machine. "Remember to take it easy."  
  
"I'll try."  
  
"And have a nice Christmas!"  
  
"You too!" Sydney called over her shoulder, smiling and waving as she walked out of the exam room. 


	5. Coming to Terms Chapter 5

Title: Coming to Terms (Chapter 5)  
Author: UConn Fan (Michele)  
E-Mail: LoveUConnBasketball@yahoo.com  
  
Authors Note:   
Mike Dunleavy played his first NBA game yesterday - ONE MINUTE! I KNEW he should have stayed at Duke!  
Jake Voskuhl's 25 today, in case anyone cares . . .   
One again, I love all of my reviewers - you guys make me SOO happy. Everything you say is just so sweet. I love your comments, thoughts, suggestions, anything :) If you guys keep being so nice I might force you to read my original fiction :) J/k :) I was SOO mad about Alias last weekend, what was up with that? Doesn't ABC KNOW the highlight of my sad life is Sunday nights @ 9?!!   
  
At the end of this section, Sydney will have sixteen weeks to go until her due date. I already know when the baby's born, and I'm not saying whether it's before or after the due date, you'll just have to guess. So the clock is ticking on towards not only her child's birth but the destruction of the Alliance. I'm sorry I'm not highlighting the Alliance destruction more, but I think it's obvious that my strong point is really character's relationships. I'm trying my best, but as odd as it sounds, Sydney's pregnancy is the main story here, the Alliance take down is a sub-plot.   
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Lord of the Rings (movie or book), F.Y.E. (it's a music store in CT - I'm just assuming it's nationwide, I assumed the same thing with Babies R Us), Little Women (belongs to Louisa May Alcott & I'm sure a bunch of publishers), the titles/lyrics to Jingle Bell Rock or Blue Christmas & I don't own the Los Angeles Kings. Obviously I certainly do not own any Alias-related character, place, etc. I'm having fun, please don't sue.   
  
REMEMBER: This was written PRIOR to MANY MANY MANY late season 1 episodes. Sydney's Mother has not been found. Will is still oblivious to Syd's true occupation. Charlie isn't a creep (obviously, they're married). Emily's still very much alive. It's all pretty obvious. Please don't hold the timeline against me. I had no idea of all the twists and turns JJ was going to make. Please just enjoy the story as it, and please please PLEASE give me feedback! :) I just LOVE everyone that has!  
  
PLEASE READ & RESPOND! :) CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM ONLY! (actually . .I'd prefer NONE, but I'll take constructive . .)  
  
  
  
That evening Sydney had all of her friends in her living room as she popped the video in. She sat down and pressed 'play' as the image of her child filled the screen. Francie moved closer to the television, nearly toppling off the couch in awe. Even Will's expression grew soft as he watched the baby move and suck it's thumb.  
  
"That's amazing," Francie said softly.  
  
"Yeah, it is," Syd agreed with a smile.   
  
"It's definitely a boy." Will insisted. He got into the floor and approached the television. "See, right there, that's got to be a penis."  
  
Sydney rolled her eyes and stepped closer to the television set. "Will, that's the umbilical cord." She said gently as Francie, Charlie and Jennie laughed.   
  
"Ha ha ha, laugh now, but when she has a boy, I will prevail." He insisted before he sat down on the couch and sulked.  
  
"I bet you a free dessert at the restaurant that she has a girl." Francie said as Will smirked.  
  
"Your on," he agreed as they shook hands. Syd laughed and shook her head, amused by her friend's silly antics.   
  
"The baby's going to be whatever it's going to be, regardless of how much dessert you two bet."  
  
"Yeah, but I'm going to like eating all those desserts when you give birth to baby boy Bristow." Will reminded her. Before Sydney could respond, the phone rang. She stood and walked over to the phone.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Joey's Pizza?"   
  
She was unable to hide her smile, "sorry, wrong number." She hung up the phone and walked back into the living room. "Okay, end of show." She popped the tape out and put it back into her tote bag. "I'm going to go bring this to my Dad at work. I promised him he could see it."  
  
"Just make sure he gives it back to you." Francie called.  
  
"He will," she promised as she bounced out the door.  
  
Vaughn stood up when she walked into the cage. "I want to apologize."  
  
"For what?"   
  
"If you want to have Will as your coach, that's fine. It's not my place to judge, your going to be the one who's going to be giving birth, I won't even -"  
  
"No, your right." She cut him off. "My Father is a far better choice. He's my Father, this baby is his grandchild . . . With his knowledge of SD-6, it's better for the baby and I if my Father is my coach. Now I just have to ask him."   
  
"I'm sure he'll say yes." He reassured her. "Today was your ultrasound?"  
  
"Yeah, it was." She smiled widely. Her hand dug into her tote and she pulled out videotape. "Here. I had them tape it. Just please give it back when you're done."  
  
He thanked her and smiled in obvious surprise. "I'll return it our next meeting."   
  
"Thanks. I'd like to show it to my Father too." She explained. "How's Charlotte doing?"  
  
"She's fine." He shrugged. "Her ultrasound is in a few weeks. They're going to find out what it is, all bets are still on a boy." He grinned as she nodded.  
  
"I hope that's what they get then."   
  
"You should get back to your friends. They'll start to wonder where you are." He realized sadly. "Thanks," he said again and motioned to the tape in his hands.  
  
"Your welcome," she smiled before she turned around. With one quicker glance over her shoulder, she walked out of the warehouse with her head held high.  
  
Her friends were still there when she arrived back at her house a short time later. Francie was eating a bowl of chocolate ice cream that made her stomach rumble. Sydney smiled and sat down on the sofa with her friends. "Okay Syd, I have a great name suggestion," Will eagerly greeted her.  
  
"Will, we've already discussed this, I'm not naming the baby William. I promise it's nothing against the name, it would just be confusing."   
  
"No!" He plowed on, his blue eyes shining with excitement. "What about Cooper?"  
  
"Cooper?" She tried it out. "Cooper Bristow . . ."  
  
"Sounds like a 1940's private investigator to me," Jennie suggested as the women laughed.  
  
"Hey man, it's okay, I like it." Charlie reassured his buddy with a pat on the back.  
  
"Okay, seriously," Francie spoke up. "What about Grace?"   
  
"I like Grace," she agreed, taking a bite of her friend's ice cream. "Grace Bristow."   
  
"Abigail," Jennie suggested. "It means 'my Fathers joy'."   
  
"That's my middle name," Sydney informed them with a smile at the meaning.   
  
"Where have you learned all these baby names and meanings?" Will asked his girlfriend in amusement.   
  
"I'm an amateur genealogist, and I just love finding out what names mean." She shrugged as Will quickly kissed her.  
  
"I learn something new everyday," he smiled.   
  
"I think Ethan's a good boys name," Charlie offered as Francie grinned.  
  
"Oh, like Ethan Hawke!" The women laughed as Charlie and Will shared looks of exasperation.   
  
Sydney shook her head at her friend's suggestions. "Do you guys realize I still have a lot of time before I have to make this decision?"  
  
"Yeah, but you want to have some ideas. I've heard about couples who don't name their baby until a week or so after it's born, you don't want to be like that!"  
  
"I'm sure I'll know the right name when I find it," Sydney smiled. "Who knows, maybe I actually need to look at the baby and the right name will come to me?" She shrugged.  
  
"Totally," Francie agreed. "What if she has a boy, decides on the name Cooper, but he ends up looking like an Michael?" She suggested as her friend's head shot up at the off-handed mention of her handler's first name.  
  
"I'm going to try to stay away from names that are too common."   
  
"Good idea. Trust me, it's horrible to have a name that everyone else does!" Jennie agreed.   
  
"How much time are you going to take off?" Will questioned.  
  
"I'm going to keep working for as long as I can. It depends on how well the baby is, how well I feel." She trailed off. As much as she might want to, she couldn't explain the reality of her job to her friends. Thus she couldn't come out and explain that she *would* be there at SD-6 the day the CIA took them down. She needed to be there when that chapter of her life closed, no matter how much her Father and Vaughn might want her far, far away.  
  
"At least you've stopped accumulating so many frequent flier miles." Francie mused.  
  
"Yeah," she smiled in agreement. Traveling and the side effects of jetlag would be too much for her to handle at that point.   
  
"So, Syd, when do we start childbirth classes?" Will asked with a wide smile.  
  
"Actually . . . I was thinking about asking my Dad." She confessed, much to her friend's obvious surprise. "I thought it would be a nice idea, and he'd get to be there to see his first grandchild born . . . "  
  
"I think it's a great idea," Francie smiled as Jennie nodded.  
  
"Sure, Syd, that's fine. If your Dad can't or won't do it though, I'm still your man." He reassured her with a silly grin. Sydney laughed, grateful for the wonderful friends she had and the endless support they offered her.  
  
"I have to go Christmas shopping this weekend, does anyone want to come with me?" Jennie asked as Francie and Sydney agreed. Will's girlfriend had been the first and probably only girl he had dated that Francie and Sydney had taken so well to, and Will knew that it was a good sign.  
  
"We can't stop and look at anything related to babies." Francie insisted. "Or else I might go nuts."   
  
Sydney laughed and shook her head. Despite everything, despite the challenges ahead of her, she was luckier then most. Unlike many single Mothers, she truly had the best friends to help and support her along the way.   
  
The next afternoon Sydney sat across from her Father and Marshall and next to Dixon at an SD-6 briefing. Although Dixon was going on the mission with another team of agents while Sydney remained in Los Angeles, Sloane continued to include her in his briefings. He had explained that he enjoyed her insight and questions, as well as just her company. How he had once again implied such paternal concern for her and her child's welfare had made her skin crawl as she planted a forced smile on her features.  
  
When the meeting was concluded, Sloane asked that she remain for a few seconds. She exchanged a worried look with her Father, who stood and exited the room with the other men. She smiled at him, hoping she looked more composed then she felt. With the CIA so close to destroying the enemy, every step she took was more crucial and even more important that she keep her cover.   
  
"Sydney, I asked you to stay because I wanted to speak to you about Emily." He explained as her smile became sincere. "As you know, she's very excited about your upcoming arrival. We both are."   
  
She nodded, the smile on his face made shivers sashay up and down her spine. "How is Emily feeling?"  
  
"Good, very good. In fact she would like to have you over for Christmas Eve."   
  
"That'd be wonderful," she smiled. No matter how much she despised Arvin Sloane, Emily was one of the sweetest people she had ever known. One day she hoped her own child would admire her as much as she admired Emily.   
  
"Wonderful. Emily insists that you bring a guest. She looks forward to meeting the strapping young man you'll be creating a family with."   
  
"Of course," she nodded, her mind now racing. No matter how much she might have wanted to bring Vaughn with her, the dangers were too great for her to even consider doing such a thing. Not that Vaughn wouldn't want to go with her - she had seen how his face had become crestfallen when she explained that she was bringing Will as a guest. That had been a few years ago, when she and Vaughn were still strictly professional.   
  
Sydney went to stand, but was stopped when he called her name again. "I just want you to know that I am very happy for you. It's very difficult to welcome a child into this life, especially as a woman living this life."   
  
"Thank you," she smiled. With one more glance at him, she stood and left his office. Once Sydney was out of Sloane's sight, she ran towards the restrooms and made a tearful offering to the Porcelain gods.  
  
That was how her Father and Vaughn saw her later that night. She had called them both to meet her at the warehouse, a rare occasion. The remainder of her day at SD-6 had been long, her nerves growing more sensitive as the day progressed. Her stomach had churned and when she finally got out of Credit Dauphine, she went home and got sick. Out of the sight of Sloane and his men, she was unable to stop the tears and shivers that racked her body, not even stopping as she walked into the warehouse, where both men were already waiting.  
  
Sydney sniffled and attempted to look slightly composed as she walked into the warehouse cage. Judging solely on both men's expressions, she assumed that they both knew about Sloane's invitation. "What am I supposed to do?" She asked, skipping all formalities.  
  
"Sloane asked me a few days ago if I knew anything about who the Father was. Apparently, he believes that I was being sincere when I said I didn't know." Her Father explained, his face slightly softened at his daughter's obvious anguish.  
  
"You can't turn down Sloane's invitation. It would only arouse suspicion." Vaughn said in his professional, no funny business way.  
  
"What about your friend Mr. Tippin?" Jack suggested. Vaughn looked down at the ground and pinched the bridge of his nose.   
  
"What about Will? I can't bring him. He's got a girlfriend; he's probably going to spend Christmas Eve with her. Plus I don't want to explain to him why he has to come and pretend to be the baby's Father!"  
  
"Why not back to the basics?" Vaughn suggested. "Why not say that your date got called away at the last minute for a family emergency?"   
  
"If we can't come up with something better, we might have to resort to that." Jack conceded. He looked away in slight discomfort as Vaughn reached out and handed Sydney a tissue and they shared a glance that lasted a bit too long. "We have a little less then two weeks to strategize. Right now you need to rest." He advised his daughter.  
  
"I know," she agreed, wiping her tears.  
  
"I should go. I'll see you tomorrow," he told her as she nodded. "We'll deal with the problem when the time is right. I'm sure we'll find a solution." Jack reassured them both before he walked out, leaving them alone.  
  
Once Jack was out of earshot, he turned towards her, meeting her gaze. "I'm sorry Syd."  
  
"What for?" She asked, perplexed. "None of this is your fault."   
  
He nodded, knowing she believed it was the truth. Now all he had to do was convince himself. "Do you need anything?"  
  
"No, I'll be okay." She insisted. Once again he shook his head. He was obviously preoccupied as he turned around to his briefcase, pulling out the familiar videotape. "Did you watch it?" She asked quietly, taking it from him.  
  
"Yes," he nodded, unable to completely hide his smile. "It's amazing."  
  
"It is," she agreed. "Thank you for giving it back."   
  
"Thank you for letting me borrow it." Sydney nodded and looked down at the ground, the tears once again welling in her eyes. The expression on her face tore at him and he was unable to stop himself before he pulled her gently into his arms. "Syd, it's going to be okay. We'll figure it out."   
  
"What if Sloane finds out about you?" She asked, her body still shaking with her sobs. The day's events had just been too much for her and standing there with him was the only place she had felt at peace all day.  
  
"He won't. Don't worry about me Syd, I'll be fine." He promised. Inside her, nestled between its parents embrace, their baby moved, demanding attention.  
  
"Your hockey player wants to eat," she chuckled, reluctantly moving from his embrace. Vaughn's smiles made her feel slightly better, knowing he was behind her all the way. "I have to ask my Dad about childbirth classes soon." She thought out loud.   
  
"I'm sure he'll be there for you."   
  
"I was stupid to accept the invitation."  
  
"No, you weren't. Emily is your *friend*."  
  
"It would have only made him suspicious if I said no," she reasoned as he nodded.   
  
"You should go rest," he realized.   
  
"Thank you for meeting me here."  
  
"Your welcome," he smiled widely. She smiled at him before she picked up the videotape and walked out of the cage.   
  
Sydney forced herself to not focus on the Christmas Eve at the Sloane's. Jack had informed her that he would be attending too, which would make the night easier regardless of who she did or didn't end up taking. Dixon had left Tuesday morning for a mission to Amsterdam to retrieve another Rimbaldi clue, returning safely Friday morning. Upon his return, she had yet to ask her Father about being her labor coach and was aware that she'd have to do so soon. The classes started in a few short weeks.  
  
Friday afternoon she finally had an opportunity to be alone with her Father. He directed her to a conference room and secured them three minutes to talk. "I'd like you to be my labor coach." She said.  
  
The look on Jack Bristow's face was one of evident shock. Of all the things, good and bad, that he had prepared himself for, that was not one of them. "I thought Mr. Tippin - "  
  
"I've changed my mind." She insisted. Jack suspected that Sydney had explained her plans to Agent Vaughn and he had understandably not taken it well. "I'd like you to be there as my coach. You'd have to go to classes with me, and if you can't, I'd understand - " she started, having already readied herself for disappointment.   
  
"Of course I'll do it." He answered. "If your certain that's what you want."  
  
"I'm sure."   
  
"Then I'll do it. Just let me know when and where classes are."   
  
"They don't start for a few more weeks. I'm taking them at Our Lady of Mercy." Jack nodded, already aware that she was receiving all of her care at the SD-6 hospital.  
  
"Just let me know," he reminded her while he stood up and walked out of the room.  
  
  
  
Late Saturday morning, Sydney, Jennie, Francie and Will were trudging through the mall. Will had decided to join them until lunch and after that he was going to go help Charlie at the cafe. Syd enjoyed having her friends with her as they combed through the malls, buying various odds and ends. As it neared lunchtime, they stood in the front of bookstore, scanning the shelves of the New Releases.  
  
No matter how much fun they were having, Syd was quickly growing fatigued. Over the past few days she had noticed how her ankles were getting slightly puffier. More then that, she was able to spend less and less time on her feet. While Will and Jennie stayed in the bookstore looking for a Christmas gift for Amy, Francie accompanied Syd as she went to sit on a bench outside the store.  
  
Sydney sat fingering a book of baby names that she had just bought. Having settled things with her Father, she felt more comfortable then she had in a few days. There was the worry of what would happen on Christmas Eve still in the back of her mind, but she had confidence that between herself, her Father and Vaughn they would be able to devise a good plan.  
  
Will and Jennie were leaving the bookstore when Francie nudged her arm. Her friends were towering over them when Sydney looked at Francie in annoyance. "Okay, look in front of FYE, there's a guy in a leather jacket that keeps looking at you." Francie whispered.  
  
Sydney's eyebrows rose before she looked up. Her heart stopped for a brief second when she realized that it was Vaughn and an older looking woman. Please be his Mother, she thought in horror as she looked back at her book. "So what?" She asked casually.  
  
"Please! Look at him, he's *gorgeous*!" Jennie declared, as Will looked insulted. "It's okay honey, I think you're more handsome." She promised as she kissed his cheek.  
  
"Go over and say hi!" Francie instructed.  
  
"Are you crazy?" Sydney asked. "I'm pregnant!"   
  
"So?" Francie and Jennie asked in unison.  
  
"I don't know guys, what if he's one of those sickos who *only* likes women who are pregnant with other men's babies." Will proposed as Sydney rolled her eyes.   
  
"C'mon," Francie stood up and pulled Syd up with her. "I have to go to FYE to get Charlie the new Lord of the Rings movie soundtrack. As we pass by, it wouldn't hurt if you said a casual hello."   
  
Sydney wondered how red her cheeks could get as she walked with her friends towards the store. As they walked she wished that Vaughn would read her mind and disappear, but she suspected that since he was in the company of his Mother, he couldn't just abruptly walk away from the store. When they approached the store, she was horrified as her best friend pulled her towards the same display where Vaughn was standing with his Mother.  
  
"Hi," Francie greeted, smiling at the woman Sydney assumed to be Brigitte Vaughn. For his credit, Vaughn kept his eyes fixated on the CD he held in his hand as she attempted to do the same.  
  
"Hello," Brigitte smiled with a heavy French accent. "This place is just so crowded today, don't you think?" She questioned, obviously far more friendly then Sydney had expected.  
  
"Yeah. Everyone shopping for the holidays. At least the mall is decorated for Christmas." Francie pointed out as Brigitte nodded. Sydney couldn't help but wonder if Danny was somewhere watching over her and snickering at her situation. If she was anyone else, she knew she'd be laughing at her own dilemma.  
  
"How far along is your friend?" She asked as Francie tugged on Sydney's arm to draw her closer to the older woman.  
  
"Syd, tell her how far along you are," Francie hissed, still smiling. In the year since her restaurant had opened, Francie had acquired the gift of being able to be outwardly pleasant while remaining in complete control of a situation.  
  
"I'm twenty weeks."   
  
"That's so wonderful! That's about how far along my daughter is! When are you due?"  
  
"April 27th."   
  
"Charlotte's due May 3rd." She explained. Then Brigitte turned and nudged Vaughn as Sydney said a silent prayer. "Michael, this young woman is due around the same time as your sister."  
  
"That's nice Mom," Michael commented, not bringing himself to look at Sydney.  
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name." Brigitte said apologetically.  
  
"I'm Francie Calfo and this is Sydney Bristow," Francie introduced.  
  
"I'm Brigitte Vaughn and this is my son Michael."   
  
"It's nice to meet you." Francie commented.  
  
"Sydney, do you know what you're having?"   
  
"No, she's being such a pain, she refuses to find out." Francie answered for her with a sigh.  
  
"My daughter's going to find out, since it's their second. They have a little girl, she's already two and the sweetest."  
  
"I bet they grow up so fast!" Francie guessed.  
  
"They do!" Brigitte agreed.   
  
"I just hope Ms. Workaholic here slows down once the baby comes."   
  
"I can understand that!" Brigitte declared. "I'm just wishing Michael will slow down one day enough to even *consider* getting involved. Although I do think he's interested, he's just so dedicated to that job of his," she finished in a stage whisper.   
  
By then Sydney wanted to find a hole and bury herself in it. If her week hadn't been difficult enough, now her best friend was inadvertently making life even more difficult for her. The opportunity did however, no matter how risky, allow her the chance to see what Brigitte was like. Just as she had imagined, she was a decent, friendly, lovely woman.   
  
"Does Michael work for a bank too?"   
  
"No, he's with the government."  
  
"Even worse!" Francie insisted. Both women laughed as Sydney flinched slightly.   
  
"Sydney, is this your first?"  
  
"Yes," she smiled, forcing herself to meet Brigitte Vaughn's eyes. She wondered if the woman would be as pleasant if she knew that the baby she was carrying was her grandchild added on to the fact that her Mother had killed Brigitte's beloved husband.   
  
"First babies are just so exciting! Very scary too, but I'm sure you and your husband will do a fine job." She smiled encouragingly.   
  
Sydney dared to look at Vaughn, whose eyes met hers with an equally sad and anguished expression. Then she turned her attention back to Brigitte, who was patiently awaiting a response. "I'm not married."   
  
"I'm sure you'll be a fabulous single Mother." Brigitte gently complimented, reaching out to squeeze the younger woman's hand, hoping to give her some encouragement. That's me, Sydney thought, Super Spy and Solo Mommy. I've really got to start my own children's book series, she added in her mind. "I raised Michael and Charlotte on my own after my husband died. It's difficult, but I'm sure you'll be wonderful at it."  
  
"Thank you."   
  
"Well, I think I'll get this for Charlie," Francie decided, taking the CD from Sydney's hands. "It was nice to meet you."  
  
"You too. Good luck Sydney." Brigitte called as they walked inside the store. With the young women gone, she turned her attention back to her son. "Michael, why didn't you talk to Sydney?" She demanded to know in French.  
  
"Maman, she's pregnant." He reminded her in the same language.  
  
"You kept looking at her, so don't tell me you didn't find her attractive. There's no reason why you can't get to know a perfectly lovely woman."   
  
"Maman, please." He pleaded.  
  
"At this rate, I'll never see you have children . . " She spoke softly to herself in her own native language.  
  
Vaughn's eyes were drawn back to Sydney's rounded figure as she stood in line with Francie. Then he looked back at his shoes, his thoughts swarming in sorrow.  
  
Francie scolded Sydney for not being more outgoing in their interaction with the Vaughn's. Luckily Sydney was able to divert her friends' attention to lunch shortly after they walked out of the store. By then, Vaughn and Brigitte were nowhere in sight, much to her relief. Eventually she was able to convince her friend that she was focused on her baby's upcoming arrival and didn't have time for anything else on her plate.   
  
By the time Sydney arrived home, her arms were stuffed from having shopped so much. In that one day she had done nearly all of her shopping. Since Will had left in the early afternoon, she had been able to buy his present. She also managed to buy gifts for Jennie and Francie when each was looking for something else. Along the way she had also found a beautiful sweater for Emily to wear in the garden on days that it was   
cold.   
The rest of her weekend was spent quietly. Sydney wrapped some presents and slept. Most of her thoughts were wrapped up in everything that had transpired recently. Now she had met not only Vaughn's adorable niece but also his warm, friendly Mother. Something about Brigitte had reminded her of Francie, especially with her outgoing personality, and it had made her even more comfortable. No matter how she tried, she couldn't completely forget her dilemma of spending Christmas Eve at the Sloane's house.  
  
The start of the workweek marked the twenty first week of Sydney's pregnancy. Theoretically it meant that she was closer to the finish then the beginning, although as a first time Mother there was no guarantee she wouldn't be overdue. Everything at Credit Dauphine was business as usual, which was a relief to Sydney. When she wasn't doing paperwork, Sloane would request her presence to sit in on meetings. He would ask her opinion on missions and plans and Marshall was always eager to show her his newest inventions.   
  
She met with Jack and Vaughn in the warehouse on Saturday night. Instead of being at home watching a movie she was with them while they discussed the plan for Christmas Eve which was the following Wednesday. Vaughn was obviously anguished as Jack discussed how Sydney was to initially say that her date would be meeting her there. Then, shortly thereafter, Vaughn would call her cell phone. She would excuse herself and then return saying her date was unable to attend, instead he had an emergency transplant. All of this revolved around the yarn that Jack had fabricated for Sloane about how Sydney's beau was a doctor at UCLA Medical Center.   
  
Sydney was unsure of the story, especially since how closely to Danny her imaginary beau was. It was apparent that Vaughn wasn't happy with the situation either, but as her Father reminded them, it was their only and best option. Having Vaughn accompany her was out of the question, and bringing anyone else into the equation was equally dangerous. Once her Father had left them alone, Vaughn turned towards her and tried to encourage her with a smile.  
  
"I hate this." She said blankly as his smile disappeared.  
  
"I know you do."   
  
"How are things going with Jeter and Cavilerri?"  
  
"Good. We're using their knowledge to create blueprints to every office in the Alliance. They're also giving us combinations to various safes and hidden passageways."  
  
"Are they going to be given immunity?"  
  
"It depends on how legitimate their Intel is," he shrugged.   
  
Sydney nodded "Your Mother's very nice."  
  
"My Mother is very nosey." He smiled.  
  
"So is Francie." She pointed out as they both laughed. "That was a little . . "  
  
"Uncomfortable?" He suggested.  
  
"Yeah, exactly." Sydney laughed.   
  
"Did you and Francie have a nice time shopping?"  
  
"We did. I did nearly all of my Christmas shopping too." She grinned proudly.   
  
His reply seconds later was sincere, happy that she had enjoyed a normal time with her friends. Of all the people in the world, Vaughn knew she deserved the normalcy. Sydney craved it. No adrenaline rush, no matter how much she impacted the destruction of SD-6, nothing quite compared to the comfort of normalcy.  
  
"I should go. I'm supposed to have Will and Charlie over so they can hide Jennie and Francie's Christmas presents at my place." She smiled although she was apologetic for having to lead. All he could do was nod and remind her to be careful before his eyes carefully followed her retreat from the cold warehouse.  
  
  
  
Jack Bristow arrived late in the afternoon of Christmas Eve to pick up his daughter. That evening was something he had been strategically trying to avoid since Sydney announced his pregnancy. Now they were forced to fabricate another yarn and keep their fingers and toes crossed that Arvin would remain oblivious. He hoped he did, if not for his own safety and future, but for that of his daughter and future grandchild.  
  
Sydney opened the door and smiled widely at her Father. Dressed appropriately in a black twill jumper with a dark green shirt underneath and a reindeer pin on her jumper. It was extremely difficult to tell that she was already twenty-two weeks pregnant. "Hi Dad, come in. I'm running a little behind," she explained as she moved to let him in.  
  
"That's fine," he assured her as he stood there. "Here, I've been meaning to return this to you."   
  
He handed her the video from her ultrasound as she took it gratefully. "Thank you. Did you get a chance to watch it?"   
  
"Yes, I did."  
  
"Do you have any guess what it is?" She questioned hopefully. Jack suspected that while Sydney didn't want to know what she was having, another large part of her desperately did.  
  
"Yes, I do." He answered with a nod of his head. After all of his years of CIA and SD-6 training, as well as once being an eager Father-to-be, he had acquired the skill of interpreting ultrasounds. Among other things, he had easily seen his future grandchild's gender.  
  
"Well?" Sydney's eyes were wide and expecting.  
  
"I thought you wanted to be surprised," he reminded her mildly.  
  
"Yes, I do." She confessed with a sigh.  
  
"Then you will be surprised." He declared, thinly veiling his smile. Still, she smiled back and put the video down before quickly walking into the kitchen. "Now your fully prepared for your cover?" He asked as she returned, carrying a Bloomingdale's bag that he assumed held gifts.  
  
"I'm completely ready," she promised as she slipped on her coat. Since she had been forced to put down her bag, Jack picked it up, deciding that no matter how heavy it was, she was far too pregnant to carry it.   
  
"Are you ready to go?"   
  
"Yes, I am." She smiled and looped her arm through his. No matter how much she dreaded having to lie to Emily and loathed seeing Arvin Sloane when it wasn't absolutely necessary, it was impossible to shake the happiness she felt at spending Christmas Eve with her Dad.  
  
Emily personally answered the door, her face held more color and her smile was wider then Sydney could recall seeing in recent memory. Arvin greeted them shortly after they arrived, leading them into a handsome study. Sydney saw that Emily hadn't held up any stops at decorating the house for Christmas, and as a result everything looked fantastic. There appeared to be a tree in every major room of the house, lit up and covered in garland and beautiful ornaments. It was impossible not to comment on how fabulous everything looked.  
  
"Fabulous! You're the one who looks fabulous!" Emily insisted with a warm smile as she and her husband sat across from Jack and Sydney.   
  
"Thank you."   
  
"I can hardly believe that you're already more then half way there. You look so beautiful sweetheart, you're glowing."  
  
"You look wonderful too," Sydney honestly replied.  
  
"Where is that handsome beau of yours?" Arvin jumped in, the smile on his face making her skin crawl. There was no way she was going to let this man hurt her anymore, and certainly not her child.  
  
"He should be here shortly," she smiled.  
  
"He's a doctor?" Emily asked eagerly.  
  
"Yes. At UCLA."   
  
"That's wonderful, I'm sure he's fabulous." She smiled at the girl she often thought of as a daughter. From all the young women in the world, if Emily Sloane could have chosen one as her daughter, it would have been the one right in front of her. "Are you starting to get ready?"   
  
"Yes, I am. I signed up for childbirth classes at Our Lady of Mercy a few weeks ago. My Dad's going to be my coach."  
  
"Oh Jack, that's just great!" Emily declared. "This is your first grandchild too," it dawned on her as she smiled. "This is just wonderful Sydney, I am so happy for you."  
  
"Thank you." She smiled. Seeing Emily's uncontained joy at her upcoming arrival almost compensated for Sydney's awareness that her husband felt the exact opposite. Sydney's pregnancy forced Sloane to lose one of his best agents for several months, and in his mind he knew when she returned he would be forced to expect less. The whole thing made him nauseous with anger and his heart heavy with disappointment. He had expected great things for Sydney Bristow, and this child would now nearly insure that she would never reach what he had imagined.  
  
The four sat talking, mostly about her pregnancy, as they waited for either dinner or Sydney's mystery beau to appear. Emily eagerly offered to help in anyway she could, especially with childcare when the younger woman returned to work. She even went as far as to offer the guest room to Sydney to stay in right after the baby was born, so she could help in the earliest days of the babies life. No matter how sweet Emily's offer was, Sydney could never imagine exposing her baby to Arvin Sloane for any longer then was necessary. She also attempted to imagine Vaughn's reaction if she ever accepted such an invitation. There was no doubt in her mind that it wouldn't be pleasant.  
  
Sydney's mysterious beau had conspicuously not appeared when they were seated in the dining room. The salad was being settled down in front of the four of them when the shrill sound of her cell phone interrupted the soft conversation. With a quick apologetic smile, she grabbed the cell phone and started to stand up. "Hello?"  
  
"Hi," Vaughn's voice greeted her.   
  
"Hey," she smiled as she walked out of the dining room.   
  
"Are you doing okay?" He softly asked.  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine." She whispered. "Where are you?" She questioned, realizing she had no idea what his holiday plans were. A pit of guilt formed in her stomach at how unaware she was of his life. Sometimes it was still hard for her to imagine him having much of a life outside of her and the CIA, as selfish as it sounded, although perhaps it was because she didn't have much of a life outside of him and the CIA.  
  
"My Mother's house. Maya's been begging to open presents."  
  
"I bet," she smiled fondly.   
  
"You should go."  
  
She nodded, knowing she needed to hang up although she would rather talk to him then go back in there. "Yeah. Bye."  
  
"Bye," he quietly replied as she hung up the phone. After she slipped her cell phone into her handbag she walked back into the dining room, already wearing an apologetic smile.   
  
"What's wrong?" Arvin asked as she sat back down.  
  
"That was Chris," she explained, proud of herself for quickly thinking of a name to use. "He can't come. There was a major accident . . He's needed in the operating room. He sends his apologies, he was really looking forward to meeting everyone."   
  
Emily smiled in understanding. "He has a very important job, he's a very smart young man if he's reached as far as he did."  
  
"Yes, he is." Sydney nodded.  
  
"Well I'm sure we'll meet him at some point." Arvin insisted, her smile sending the worms up and down her arms.   
  
During that evening, fate seemed to be on Sydney's side. With her Father's help, they successfully skirted around much discussion about Sydney's mystery beau. Emily wanted to know everything that was going on in her life, feeling as though she had missed out on so much over the last few months. They spoke about books they both enjoyed, and Emily even mentioned that she loved a few of Will's more recent articles. After her nerves had calmed down, Sydney even admitted she had enjoyed herself - at least during her conversations with Emily.   
  
After they had Emily's fabulous cheesecake for dessert, all four sat down in the study to open gifts. Much to her surprise, Sydney found not only a gift for herself, but also a gift for the baby. Since Emily insisted that she open that last, everyone exchanged gifts. She was careful to make sure she kept her Father's most important gift in the bag for when they were alone. Instead he seemed pleased with what she had bought him - a camera, which since she had no idea what he liked to do and knew all Grandparents liked taking pictures, seemed to be the most logical choice. The sweater she had bought for Emily was also well received.   
  
Most importantly, Sloane was thrilled at the gift Sydney had given him, and she was relieved when he promised to put it in his office at home. It was a nondescript looking albeit handsome old-fashioned desk clock, that once within range of his computers hard drive, would hack into the system and allow the CIA access to all of Sloane's home files. The entire thing had been Vaughn's ingenious idea, along with some help from the CIA tech guys. Just another step in bringing down SD-6 and the Alliance, and the CIA hoped it would allow them to confirm some of the Intel they were receiving from Cavilerri and Jeter.  
  
Sydney was given equally beautiful gifts by all of them. Emily and Sloane had given her a camcorder, explaining that she could capture all of the baby's important moments with it. She smiled gratefully, making a mental note to have the CIA tech guys check it out before she dared to use it. Then her Father had given her a beautiful leather bound copy of the book she had loved the most as a child but never thought he had known - Little Women. Once all of the other presents were opened, Emily had declared that it was time for Sydney to open the gift for the baby. It was the first gift her child had been given, even if it in utero, and it wasn't possible not to feel how excited Emily was for her. Not only did she receive a savings bond to start saving for the baby's college education, but Emily had also bought the baby a collection of classic children's stories.   
  
At the end of the evening, Emily and Arvin walked Jack and Sydney out the door. Emily hugged Sydney tightly, making her promise to call if she needed anything. After she thanked them again for everything, Sydney got into her Father's car and they drove off into the darkness. "You did well tonight," her Father complimented her as they drove in the direction of her house.  
  
"Thank you," she smiled. "Do you think he believed it?"  
  
"I would have to say yes," he nodded. "Make sure you have the camcorder looked at before you attempt to use it." He advised her. She nodded, having already known she would need to take such precautions. "How are you feeling?"  
  
"Fine, Dad." She promised. "Just tired."  
  
"Well, get some rest tonight. What are your plans for tomorrow?"  
  
"Francie, Charlie, Will and Jennie are coming over," she shrugged. "That's not until the afternoon though. Which is good, because I need to sleep." She laughed.  
  
"I hope you enjoy yourself." He said stoically as he parked the car in the driveway.   
  
"Actually Dad . . " She said awkwardly as she pulled a small, wrapped gift from her bag. "I wanted to give this to you."   
  
Jack was visibly surprised by the other gift. "Well, thank you Sydney." He said as he took the gift. Nervously she watched him open it, hoping he would enjoy it. Within a few seconds he had unwrapped it to find picture frame that read 'I LOVE GRANDPA' around the edges with one of her ultrasound pictures already in the frame. He looked up at her in surprise.  
  
"I thought . . I just thought you might want that," she shrugged.   
  
"Thank you," he nodded. Awkwardly he gave her a small smile, and she smiled in relief. "Have a good Christmas Sydney," he said as she started to get out of the car.  
  
"Thanks Dad," she smiled as she took her bag. "You too." Jack nodded as he carefully watched her walk up the stairs and waited until he was confident that she was safe in her own house.  
  
Sydney slept in late the next morning, enjoying the rare opportunity to sleep until whenever she wanted. None of her friends were expected to stop by until early in the afternoon. Will was taking Jennie to meet his family and Francie and Charlie were having both of their families over for a Christmas breakfast. That allowed her plenty of time to make herself a delicious breakfast and sit down to watch the parade on television. After all, she had no idea where she'd be next Christmas, although she would bet it would be a frantic one with an eight month old.   
  
Early afternoon came. She got changed into a plaid jumper and a red sweater. Making sure all of the presents were arranged neatly under the tree, she put the tree lights on and sat down. The previous night had been surprisingly nice, although emotionally draining. At least everything had been going well with her Father, and that was the best Christmas gift she could possibly imagine.  
  
Charlie and Will's cars pulled in her driveway within seconds of one another. All of them came in carrying bags of gifts, laughing and sharing embarrassing anecdotes. As always, Charlie and Francie had been unnerved by how well their parents got along. Especially now that Francie's parents knew that Sydney was having a baby, they were counting down the days until Francie shared the same news. Will had been lucky and his parents had taken in Jennie with open arms, although he was nervous about meeting her family on New Years Eve.  
  
Francie popped in a tape of Christmas music and the fun began. All of them worked together in the kitchen, although Will was mainly put in charge of vegetable cutting and other safe tasks. The girls sang a glass-breaking rendition of Jingle Bell Rock before Charlie's version of Blue Christmas nearly caused his wife to cry. To his credit, Will wisely remained quiet, sipping his wine and shaking his head at his friends.  
  
Dinner was ready in the early evening. Jennie and Sydney had set the table while everyone else brought in the food. Sitting down, she smiled at her friends, unable to stop the slight ache in her heart. Christmas night, and there were her four best friends, two couples both apparently madly in love. There she was, alone but not entirely on her own, as her offspring reminded her with a swift kick that he or she was hungry and demanded to be fed.   
  
Conversation wrapped around talk of the restaurant, debating new public relations moves. Will broke the news that after the first of the year he would be an official columnist, a once a week piece on public relations. Charlie had been named junior partner in his firm while Jennie was given a major case. Eventually, after talking about everyone's major accomplishments and news, talk turned back to Francie's favorite topic of conversation - Sydney's pregnancy.  
  
In the middle of January they would start painting the nursery, and Francie was thrilled that Sydney had finally granted her permission to begin. With all four of them painting - Francie insisted that it was bad for her to be near paint fumes and they could handle the painting - it shouldn't take too long to paint the murals and designs she had in mind. Once it was painted, they would decide on a color for the carpet and Will offered to call an old high school friend who did carpet installation and ask for his help. As soon as all of that was in place, Charlie, Will and her Father could start moving the furniture in.   
  
Soon enough they would be going shopping for major baby items. In hopes of easing all of the equipment in slowly, Francie and Jennie offered to go shopping with Sydney the next weekend. They had hopes of taking advantage of some of the post-season Christmas sales to pick up the more expensive things that she would need. With her Father's help she had already created a list of things they had to get from storage and from that they would know what they needed to buy. So much to do, Sydney thought as she loaded the dishwasher, and so little time.  
  
Sydney spent the morning of New Years Eve having breakfast with her Father at Francie's restaurant. It had been a week since she had last spoken to Vaughn, and while she didn't say the words, she suspected that Jack realized how much she missed him. Even though she was no longer going on missions, she had begun to take it for granted that she would see him a few times a week. The holidays made that near impossible, and she was cautious not to ask for more then she had a right to have. Seeing her Father was a plus, and they spoke about surprisingly normal things - how she was feeling, the plans for working on the nursery, and even a Kings game they had both seen.   
  
After a New Years spent in the peaceful solidarity of her own home, Sydney returned to Credit Dauphine on the fifth of January. At twenty four weeks pregnant she was preparing to start her childbirth classes in the weeks to come and knew that weekend she would start shopping for baby items and paint for the nursery. Still, she was unable to stop the slight worry in the back of her mind knowing that she hadn't spoken to Vaughn in almost two weeks.   
  
Tuesday night Sydney lay cuddled up on her sofa watching a Kings game. Her phone rang late in the evening as she was preparing for bed, startling her. When she answered it, her heart sunk when an unfamiliar voice gave her the call signal to report to the CIA headquarters. Terrible thoughts danced in her head as she quickly changed, not even sure if her socks or shoes matched. Why were they calling her so late at night, why was it necessary for her to report to the CIA headquarters? The only thing she could possibly think of was something had happened to Vaughn - why would she need to go into the CIA offices at ten at night for any other reason? She had seen her Father that day, and that was the only thing that stopped her from worrying that he was in trouble.  
  
The twenty-minute drive seemed endless. For security purposes, she had to park her car a few blocks from the building and walked the remainder of the way, checking her back every few steps. Los Angeles in the dark of night, especially when your twenty-four weeks pregnant, isn't the safest place in the world. Finally, she arrived, relieved to be inside, although her heart was pounding anxiously.   
  
"Sydney, did you have any problems?" Jack asked, meeting her shortly after she arrived.  
  
"No," she shook her head. "What's going on?"  
  
"Agent Bristow, we'd like you to follow us," Devlin said. While his tone was not unkind, it didn't help her shake the horrible sense of doom. Silently she followed the two men down the nearly empty halls of the CIA. Having been awoken from its sleep, her baby moved inside her, sensing its Mothers nervous anxiety. Please, she begged silently, please let him be okay. Too much of her life, and her future, depended on him. He has a damn desk job, she yelled inside her head, what the hell could possibly happen to him?  
  
In a split second her worries were dispelled when she followed her Father and Devlin into an unfamiliar conference room. Vaughn stood in the corner, dressed in a suit, his expression one of anguish. Anguish is okay, she reminded herself. She could deal with anguish, as long as he was okay. "Vaughn," she greeted, almost embarrassed by the obvious relief in her voice.  
  
"Sydney," he responded, his eyes held far more pain then she ever remembered.   
  
"Agent Bristow, please take a seat," Devlin instructed. Looking quickly at Vaughn, who nodded at her, she did so.  
  
"I'm confused, what's going on?"  
  
"Some of the Intel we've gathered on the Alliance led us to a branch in Russia. Moscow, actually," Devlin started to explain. "We had adequate forces and information to shut down the Alliance branch of SD-12."  
  
"That's wonderful," Sydney started, still sure why this required her attention at ten at night.  
  
"Unfortunately, when the CIA's forces penetrated the branch, we discovered that it was undergoing a hostile take over by the KGB."  
  
"Isn't that a good thing? Take down some of the KGB's forces while destroying a branch of the Alliance?" She questioned, now entirely puzzled.  
  
"Yes, it is a huge step for the CIA," Jack agreed. "There were several top KGB officials involved in the take over, and when the CIA entered, the KGB opened fire on our men."  
  
"Obviously, we had to return fire." Devlin added. Sydney nodded and looked over at Vaughn. He met her gaze without hesitation, his eyes anguished and sympathetic all at the same time. What was she missing here, she wondered.   
  
"Sydney, your Mother was among the KGB agents inside the offices of SD-12." Her Father told her, drawing her attention as her stomach dropped.   
  
"Agent Bristow, I'm very sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, but your Mother was killed this morning during the CIA's raid into SD-12."  
  
Sydney thought she had been punched in the stomach. Her Mother? No . . That was wrong. Her Mother was Laura Bristow, and Laura Bristow had been dead twenty years. Once again her eyes met her Father, and he spoke the cold reality of the situation in brutally honest terms.  
  
"Irina Derevko is dead." 


	6. Coming to Terms Chapter 6

Title: Coming to Terms (Chapter 6)  
Author: UConn Fan (Michele)  
E-Mail: LoveUConnBasketball@yahoo.com  
  
Authors Note:   
Mike Woodward played in a UConn exhibition came a few days ago and had ONE WHOLE POINT! He's so cute, even if he's a bench warmer . . :)   
Travis Knight is cute too, and last night the Knicks had their first win of the season! YAY! :) I was so happy!  
Yankees pitcher Steve Karsay has surgery today, keep your fingers crossed for him! :)   
I LOVE my reviewers, please keep it up! I'm slightly uncertain about this chapter, so if you could respond I'd love you all forever! Hey, seriously, if anyone wants to read my original fiction, just ask. Although this story's up on my priority list right now.   
Oh, I mentioned my hometown in this story! :) Actually, not my hometown, just the town I live in now. Anyway, I wanted to mention that. It's pretty obvious what it is, so now you all know where I live, congratulations :)   
  
At the end of this section, Sydney will have thirteen weeks to go until her due date. I'm slightly hesitant about my name choice now, but I'm sticking to it because it's a brilliant name in my opinion. I'm doing my best to highlight the destruction of the Alliance & Syd's pregnancy without making it boring. Is this boring? if this is boring, please tell me.  
  
Also, you might want to know that there will be another story after this one. There wasn't originally going to be, but now I lay in bed at night and these scenes from the next story just keep coming into my damned mind. So that's the way it is, sorry. If you don't like this story or if by the time it ends, it sucks, I won't post the next story, but I will write it regardless.   
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Webster's Dictionary company, the LA Kings, the San Jose Sharks, Moulin Rouge, Catcher in the Rye, Scrabble . . You get the point. Obviously I certainly do not own any Alias-related character, place, etc. I'm having fun, please don't sue.   
  
REMEMBER: This was written PRIOR to MANY MANY MANY late season 1 episodes. Sydney's Mother has not been found. Will is still oblivious to Syd's true occupation. Charlie isn't a creep (obviously, they're married). Emily's still very much alive. It's all pretty obvious. Please don't hold the timeline against me. I had no idea of all the twists and turns JJ was going to make. Please just enjoy the story as it, and please please PLEASE give me feedback! :) I just LOVE everyone that has!  
  
PLEASE READ & RESPOND! :) CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM ONLY! (actually . .I'd prefer NONE, but I'll take constructive . .)  
  
  
  
  
The Webster's II Pocket Dictionary that Sydney found after a frantic search in her desk defined dead as "no longer in existence or use".  
  
In those terms, Irina Derevko had been dead to her for over twenty years.  
  
An awkward silence bubbled over the room after her Father's words. Her mind had raced, confused, heartbroken, and angry all at the same time. Unable to meet anyone's gaze, she thanked him or her and excused herself. She walked briskly back to her car and then drove home, not even bothering to check for tails.   
  
After a long night with a dreamless sleep, she called out sick to SD-6, complaining of nausea. That wasn't a complete lie. Ever since she was a little girl, she had wanted a Mother, and for a long time she had thought she had lost a wonderful, loving, devoted Mother. Part of her was still unable to match up that image with the horrible hard facts she knew about Irina Derevko. Now she would never have a chance to reclaim the Mother she so desperately wished, or to enforce justice on the woman who had caused so many people so much pain.  
  
Not to her surprise, Vaughn's "Joey's Pizza" call caused her phone to ring shortly after lunchtime. The call forced her to get out of her bed and get dressed. There were visible bags under her reddened eyes but she didn't bother to apply make up. She couldn't explain why she was taking the news so badly. Truth be known, her Mother had been dead to her for twenty-four years. Perhaps it was her hormones along with the knowledge that she'd soon be a Mother. All she knew was that it scalded her soul and sent her mind into a tizzy.  
  
An obviously professional Vaughn greeted Sydney when she walked into the warehouse. When it came to her Mother, it was understandable that he had to remain professional. His own personal bias towards Derevko could not jeopardize his professional judgment or his relationship with Sydney. Without exchanging a word, she sat down on the warehouses only chair and looked at him expectantly.  
  
"Sloane hasn't contacted you about the take down of SD-12?"   
  
"No, he didn't even ask to speak to me when I called this morning."  
  
"This is a massive step in the ultimate destruction of the Alliance."  
  
"I know," she nodded.   
  
Vaughn sighed and brought over a crate to sit on. "Syd . . I'm sorry about your Mother."   
  
"You don't have to say that," she protested, shaking her head as she rested her head on her hands. "I know you don't mean it."  
  
"I do mean it," he insisted. "I'm only sorry because losing her hurts you, and I hate to see you hurt."   
  
"Vaughn . . " She started, the apparent anguish in her voice breaking her spirit. When she looked up at him, she was struggling with unshed tears. "Irina Derevko was a *horrible* woman . ."  
  
"She was your Mother." He cut in. "We don't choose our families Syd, they're just given to us . ." He reminded her strongly before he added in a gentle, softer tone, "maybe they're given to us for a reason."  
  
She looked up at him questionably, needing him to continue. Perhaps he could attempt to rationalize events and emotions that only served to puzzle her. "As horrible as it is . . . Without Irina Derevko, you wouldn't be here. You were born for a reason Syd. You've corrected so many of your Mother's wrongs."   
  
"How can you say that?" She asked, her brow scrunched. "My Mother betrayed my Father, she betrayed this government, and she killed twelve CIA agents - including your Father."  
  
"Yes, thank you, I remember." His face was hard but visibly softened when he spoke again. "You and your Father are working on what could be a wonderful relationship again. I'm positive that despite your Mother's betrayal, your Father would not change the fact that he has you. You're working with the CIA, and thanks to you we've taken leaps and bounds in destroying the Alliance that would have taken us decades otherwise."   
  
"What about you and your Mother? Charlotte? Maya doesn't have a Grandfather because of my Mother . . What about all of those other families I know nothing about?"   
  
"Well, I can't speak for those families," he said somberly. She watched him visibly swallow and meet her gaze. "She took away my Father, but she gave me you."   
  
Sydney doubted it was even half a second before she was in his arms, sobbing. Then he did the only thing he could, he held her silently, hoping that his words had put some balm on the painful burn of her soul. Eventually, she forced herself to pull back and wipe away her tears, muttering an apology.  
  
"Don't apologize Sydney." She nodded as he went to get something out of his briefcase. "Here, I've been meaning to give this to you. Sorry it's late." He sheepishly handed her a package wrapped in Christmas wrapping paper.   
  
"Thank you," she smiled, despite the tears that still stained her face.  
  
"I have a meeting with Devlin, I should go." He realized, snapping his briefcase shut.  
  
"Okay," she nodded. Work, she reminded herself, the whole point of how and why you met one another in the first place.  
  
"Are you going to be okay?" He asked somberly, meeting her gaze.   
  
"I will be." She promised. "You don't want to be late for meeting Devlin."   
  
Vaughn nodded and smiled at her one more time before he walked out of the cage and seconds later out of the warehouse.  
  
Now alone, Sydney succumbed to the excitement bubbling in her. Why she was so surprised by his Christmas gift, she didn't know - he had given her one every year they'd been working together. Seconds later, she pulled out a leather-bound journal. Opening it, she smiled at the short, simple message in his chicken scratch handwriting.   
  
'For when I can't be there.'  
  
She smiled and waited a few seconds before following Vaughn's lead out of the warehouse. Despite the necessary secrecy, having Vaughn in her life was something she would always be grateful for. When the world fell to pieces, he was there to pick them up and glue them back together. Then, when he couldn't piece them back together, he was the only one who knew instinctively how to pacify all the fear, anger and doubt that would swarm in her heart. No matter how much she may have loved Danny, he didn't make her feel safe in the way that Vaughn could.  
  
Despite the waves churning in her stomach, Sydney returned to SD-6 bright and early the next morning. The last two days of the week were spent in long briefings with Sloane, hearing him talk about how the government and their Allies were being put in peril because of an 'unidentified outside source'. The five of them - herself, her Father, Dixon and Marshall - spent hours debating who could have received the Intel, how they would have received it and ways to stop it. By the time they left the office on Friday night, there was talk of the possibility of Dixon leaving Monday morning to help a 'government allies' in Vancouver.  
  
"What's wrong?" Vaughn asked, walking into the warehouse Friday night. He had found her anxiously pacing the cage; all color seemed to have disappeared from her face.  
  
"What's in Vancouver?"   
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Vancouver, what does the Alliance have in Vancouver?"  
  
"Vancouver . . That's where they have the branch of SD-11, why?"   
  
"Sloane's talking about sending Dixon there on Monday . . He's talking about sending teams to various 'allies' to try to offer them reinforcement."  
  
"What's he saying about Moscow?"  
  
"He's not saying anything forthright. Just something about how the government and our allies are being compromised and it's our lawful duty to protect those on our side."  
  
"'Lawful duty', that's a good one." He muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. "We're working on a probable timeline for the destruction of the various branches. Since we have you and your Father in SD-6, and you're our most credible doubles, SD-6 will be the last branch to be shut down."  
  
"So, how long?"   
  
"We're still looking at May 16th being D-Day for SD-6. Currently, we're interrogating Jeter and Cavilerri primarily about SD-10 and SD-2."  
  
"Why two branches at once?"  
  
"It's a double branch. There are two; SD-10 and SD-2 work out of joint offices from a bank in Rome. SD-4 and SD-9 are the other branch, they're located out of Vienna."  
  
"Why isn't the CIA just working with other law enforcement agencies to take down all the branches at once?"  
  
"It's too risky. If we attack them at different times, leaving just enough time for the other branches to believe their safe, we have a better chance of success. Plus, with the destruction of the other branches, we have the Head of the SD branches in custody. They can offer us Intel to help destroy the other branch, and in return the government allows them to keep a few of their civil rights. By taking down SD-6 last, we insure that Arvin Sloane gets to keep *none* of his civil rights."  
  
"Good," she agreed, waddling slightly in their tiny haven.   
  
"Hey, how are you feeling?" He asked softly.  
  
"Okay," she smiled. At his obviously skeptical look, she continued. "Better," he nodded, relieved at her words. "Apparently your hockey player doesn't want me to sleep anytime soon," she muttered, placing her hand on her stomach.  
  
"The baby's moving?" He asked in awe, daring to step closer.  
  
"Yeah, a lot. The baby must think the placenta is another hockey player that he or she keeps trying to check." She teased, her eyes wide. "Here, you have to feel this," she smiled, taking his hand. Placing it on the swell of her stomach, she rested her hands over his and smiled at him as their baby offered them a few swift kicks.  
  
"Does it hurt?"   
  
"Only when it's an attack on my ribs at two in the morning."   
  
"That's amazing," he whispered as she smiled at him.  
  
"Yeah, it is." She agreed, allowing herself to briefly find haven in his eyes. They had always done that, she realized, looked at one another for a bit longer then they should have. Rarely did either take a step to stop it; instead they stood smiling at one another, Vaughn feeling the reality of his child's life for the first time. Seeing Sydney visibly carrying his child made his heart melt, but feeling the child inside her for the first time nearly made it stops altogether. "There's a Kings game tonight," she spoke as they slowly returned to the semblance of professionalism.  
  
"Yeah, I know. Against the Sharks."   
  
"They're good this year, the Sharks." She commented as he looked at her.  
  
"You've been watching?"   
  
"All season," she smiled as he grinned back. "Some of the penalties the officials give seem absurd."  
  
"Did you even watch hockey before this year?" He asked skeptically, a smile on his face.  
  
"In high school I went to a few games. There was this boy, Roger . . He went to the boy's prep school that we had all of our dances with . . . His Father owned this massive publishing company. He was athletic and he was cute and rich . . . We spent most of sophomore year making eyes at each other across campus." She smiled at the memory. "Anyway, junior year we dated a few months. He played goalie for the hockey team . . We broke up. I think I had a bit too much of a brain for him," she muttered as he smiled. "Anyway, he ended up going to Cornell and playing. So I've been to a couple of games."  
  
"Cornell's a tough team to play."   
  
"You play hockey?"   
  
"Yeah," he shrugged and smiled at the expression on her face.  
  
"Oh," she said in surprise. "In college?"   
  
"Michigan. Then Michigan Law."   
  
"You're a lawyer?" She asked, sitting down, now fully surprised. This was the man she was having a child with, the man she lo . . Best not to think of that, she scolded, and yet she didn't even know he went to law school?  
  
"I went for five semesters. With one semester left I realized I wanted to be an operations officer, not work for the OGC at Langley. Instead I spent the next few months back in L.A. going through the necessary tests and started that fall."  
  
"So your a genius?"   
  
Vaughn smirked and shook his head. "Coming from you, that's a compliment." Meeting her eyes, he held her gaze for a few seconds before looking away. "You should go if you don't want to miss that Kings game."  
  
"Yeah," she realized as she slowly stood. "You'll contact me as soon as you have any news about Rome?"  
  
"Of course." He promised. They shared a smile one more time before he watched her walk out of the cage.   
  
Sydney was exhausted and not at all prepared to find her friends in her living room when she walked home. Although Moulin Rouge was on the television, she didn't even return their greeting until she grabbed the remote control and switched it to the Kings game. "Syd! That was Ewan! Why would you do that?" Francie pleaded.  
  
Sydney smiled and looked at her friend. "You are a married woman," she playfully reminded her. "Anyway, I like hockey."  
  
"Since when?" Will interrogated.  
  
"Since now," she smiled and shrugged. "Deal me in, I'm going to go get out of these shoes and I'll be back."  
  
A few minutes later she walked back in, sitting down between Jennie and Francie as Charlie dealt her cards. "Why aren't you at the restaurant?" Sydney asked Francie and Charlie.  
  
"Angie's got it all under control." Charlie insisted.  
  
"Yeah, he overbooked the staff so we weren't needed at all." Francie added as they all laughed. "So who's the cute hockey player?"   
  
"Why do you assume there's a cute hockey player?" She asked, unable to stop the image of what Vaughn would look like in a hockey outfit filling her mind.   
  
"There's no reason for anyone to watch sports unless a cute guy is involved." Jennie insisted as Francie agreed.  
  
"My Dad watches hockey," Sydney meagerly insisted.  
  
"Okay, now it makes sense," her best friend said seriously. "I think it's great that you and your Dad are working on having a better relationship. When do childbirth classes start?"  
  
"About a month," she explained before she scrunched her nose in disgust. "I have this glucose test thing in two weeks though, to check and see if I have gestational diabetes."  
  
"Is your Dad going with you?" Will asked.  
  
"No, it's a three hour test during the day, he has to work."  
  
"Well I'll go with you," Francie spoke up. "Does it require a lot of blood?"  
  
"No, I don't think so. Are you sure you want to though Francie? I can go by myself."  
  
"You don't want to be bored for three hours by yourself. I'll go with you, it'll be great." Francie eagerly insisted. "We're going shopping tomorrow, right?"  
  
"Right," she nodded. "Paint and baby necessities."  
  
"Oh, that's right! I finished the sketches for the murals!" Francie grinned, dropping her cards and going to get a folded piece of paper out of her purse. "Here! Jennie and Will helped me."  
  
"I would have helped, but my idea of art is stick figures." Charlie added.  
  
Sydney smiled and looked at paper. There were images of teddy bears with raindrop eyes holding balloons and having a tea party. There were big, smiling ladybugs and ants and flowers painted close to the floor. To her it looked like all the workings of a child's wonderland, no matter whether she gave birth to a boy or a girl. "I couldn't show it, but Will and Charlie agree to paint the ceiling blue and add clouds."  
  
"That'd be great. Wow . . This is so great guys," she said, awed by how much her friends loved and wanted to help her. "Thank you so much for everything."  
  
"Hey, no problem Syd." Will chimed in. "It's actually sort of fun."  
  
"It gives Will a reason to be messy without getting in trouble." Jennie explained. "You never told us, did you give your Dad the ultrasound picture for Christmas?"  
  
"Yeah, I did." She smiled. "He was surprised, but he really liked it. Thanks for finding the Grandpa frame, it was a great touch."  
  
"Well, my first major was interior decorating. . Then Art . . . Then Psychology . ." Jennie trailed off as they all looked at her. "I had some trouble finding myself in college."  
  
"At least you didn't dye your hair green." Sydney mumbled.  
  
"Hey!" Francie protested. "It was never green! Purple, maybe, not green!"  
  
"Yeah, Francie, it was green." Will insisted and smirked at the memory.   
  
"Yeah, you're one to talk," Francie muttered playfully. "I thought the piercing booth in the mall was going to give you your own booth for awhile."  
  
"You have piercings?" Jennie looked at him in obvious shock.  
  
"I *had* a *few* piercings."  
  
"A few?" Francie and Sydney said in unison.  
  
"It was not a few." Sydney spoke.  
  
"More like a few hundred." Francie added.  
  
"They've all closed. They've all been closed for a long time." Will promised. "Everyone goes through weird periods in college .. Actually, Syd, I think your the only person I know who didn't go through a weird period."  
  
Sydney looked up and shrugged. There was no way she could tell them she was too busy being a spy and full time student to go through any weird periods. She was too busy pretending to be weird alter egos in an attempt to help people she thought were the American government. Instead of telling them the truth, she smiled and shrugged. "I was never as outgoing as you guys."   
  
"I just hope for your sake that your baby takes after you in college." Francie spoke up. "What was the baby's Dad like in college?"  
  
"I don't know," she shrugged. Although after their last meeting, she had a better understanding of what he might have been in college. Since he played hockey and was accepted to Michigan Law School, she suspected Vaughn didn't do much goofing off.   
  
"Maybe you'll get lucky and you'll have a calm college kid," Jennie suggested.  
  
"With your Father's gene pool, that's not hard to imagine." Will spoke up as they all looked at him. "What? I've known Sydney a long time and I've never seen the man agitated, not once."   
  
Sydney smiled and shrugged. The rare occasion when her Father was agitated usually involved national security or her safety, not the type of situation she could share with her friends. Will had a point though; Jack Bristow was stoic by nature. Although she did her best to be stoic, and most of the time succeeded, she knew compared to her Father even Mount Rushmore would be emotional.  
  
"Is it possible you get agitated too easily?" Charlie asked.  
  
"No!" Will protested as they all laughed. "Syd, I have a brand new name suggestion."  
  
"Yeah, what's that?" She asked with a smile.  
  
"Willard."  
  
Seconds later he was hit simultaneously by three couch pillows.   
  
  
  
Monday morning Sydney walked into SD-6 and walked to her desk. Fifteen minutes after arriving, she had finally arranged herself and her twenty-five weeks pregnant belly so she was comfortable at her desk. Having just taken out some paperwork to begin work on when her Father walked by and motioned for her to follow him.  
  
A few seconds later they were walking into an empty conference room as Jack took out his pen. "I only have three minutes, but the CIA is currently in Rome. In a few minutes they should be raiding the offices of SD-2 and SD-10."   
  
"What about Vancouver? I thought Sloane was sending Dixon there tomorrow for a long term operation."  
  
"In today's debriefing he's going to cancel that mission. By then he should be aware of the destruction of the Rome offices and will probably be sending Dixon there for a reconnaissance mission to obtain was information might be left."  
  
"Will there be anything left?"  
  
"The CIA's going to leave some invalid information about the Alliance there for Dixon to obtain. Perhaps even some decoys of Rimbaldi artifacts. When I last spoke to Devlin he wasn't entirely sure yet."  
  
"I thought they weren't going to go into Rome for awhile."  
  
"They received Intel that Jakob David, the head of SD-10, had a wager to settle and intended to do so by bombing a government building in Rome. It's become imperative to dissemble the office now, before any innocent civilians were hurt because of one man's need for revenge.  
  
The pen beeped, signaling the end of the three minutes. "Thanks Dad," she smiled.  
  
"Do you need anything else?"   
  
"No, I'm fine." She agreed before leaving the conference room.  
  
In the early afternoon she sat in the conference room with her Father, Dixon and Marshall when Sloane stormed in the room. Seconds after arriving, he brought up a photo of an obviously aged, balding man. "This is Jakob David. He was in charge of one of our offices in Rome. This morning agents of an unknown organization raided our offices. They've taken Jakob David as well as Walter Axel, the other head of our offices, into custody. We haven't confirmed how many priceless documents and artifacts were taken by this unknown group of anarchists." He seethed before sliding a folder in Dixon's direction. "The trip to Vancouver is canceled. You leave for Rome in an hour on a reconnaissance mission. Your mission is to obtain as much as you can from what is left. Among some of what you are to look for is a copy of 'The Catcher in the Rye' that contains a list of officers in charge of our various offices throughout the country as well as several countless Rimbaldi artifacts that are essential in solving the mystery of Rimbaldi."  
  
"Yes sir," Dixon nodded and glanced through the folder.   
  
"After you return, you and Sydney will be in charge of sifting through what you've obtained and compiling a list of what we still need to regain. Jack will supervise the operation."  
  
"Yes sir," Dixon spoke as Sydney nodded.   
  
"Marshall, you are to brief Dixon on the Optec and then you'll leave for the airport." Sloane added as they all nodded. Then they all watched as he stormed back out of the room.  
  
Sydney forced herself to wait until the end of the day to contact Vaughn. Before she met him at the warehouse she briefly stopped at home to shower and change, her feet sore and back sore from wearing high heels all day. Vaughn's car was waiting in the parking lot when she pulled up and walked into the warehouse.  
  
"You're looking for a copy of 'Catcher in the Rye'. According to Sloane, it contains a list of the officers in charge of the Alliance branches and a list of certain Rimbaldi artifacts."  
  
"Okay. They confiscated a whole library of books; I'll have them start looking for 'Catcher in the Rye'. When does Dixon leave for Vancouver?"  
  
"That was canned, he's already on his way to Rome." She hastily informed him.  
  
"Okay. We planted bogus information for him, I'll make sure a bogus copy of the book is planted too."  
  
"Great," she smiled.   
  
"Are you okay?" Sydney shrugged and sat down.  
  
"I will be. I'm not sleeping too well, that's all."   
  
"The baby's keeping you up?" He asked, kneeling down next to her. "I'm sorry Syd."  
  
"It's okay. Easier to deal with it when the baby's still sleeping in the uterus as opposed to a crib on the other side of the room." She suggested before she smiled. "At least this is all close to being over . . SD-6, the pregnancy . . . Francie agreed to go to my glucose test with me."   
  
"Good," he nodded. "At Our Lady of Mercy?"   
  
"Yeah," she smiled.   
  
"I had the tech guys look for anything on the camcorder Emily gave you. According to them it's clean, either your Father will get it to you or I will at our next debriefing."  
  
"Thanks." She nodded. "Hey, did Charlotte ever have her ultrasound?"  
  
"Yeah, about a week ago. They're having a boy."  
  
"That's good, that's what they wanted."   
  
Vaughn nodded, "yeah, now we just have to convince my brother in law not to name him Patrick Junior."   
  
"Try William, it's Will's favorite suggestion. Although now his new gimmick is Willard."  
  
"Willard?" Vaughn asked, unable to stop his features from scrunching in disgust.  
  
"Yeah, it's Will Smith's real name. It's just another one of his attempts to force me to name the baby William - which I'm not going to do, it would be too confusing." She explained before she continued in a soft voice. "William might be a good suggestion for Charlotte and Patrick though . . Since it's your Father's name.."  
  
"Yeah," he shook his head in agreement.   
  
"Vaughn . . If it's a boy, do you want me to name it William after your Father?" She asked softly. This was the first time she had ever requested his opinion on what to name the baby; most of the time she would mention names and do her best to gauge his reaction.  
  
"Syd . . . I want you to name the baby a name you like. I loved my Father, but my sister was his little girl. They already know they're having a boy, and I think I'll suggest the name to them. Charlotte will love it."  
  
"Good," she smiled and nodded. "I should go, I promised Francie I'd stop and have dinner at the restaurant."  
  
"Have a nice night," he instructed as she promised she would and walked out of the warehouse.  
  
Dixon returned from his reconnaissance mission to Rome on Thursday evening. The next day was spent going through what Dixon had been able to obtain, determining what was and wasn't of relevance and then Jack directed it to the proper section of SD-6. Sydney was relieved to see that Dixon had discovered a copy of 'Catcher in the Rye' and Sloane didn't have any problems with the list they found inside. After the sorted through everything, it was an endless few hours of paperwork before she was able to leave and call it a day.  
  
Starting that night, her friends invaded her home. Old, tattered sheets covered the floor of the nursery and Francie and Will wore clothes that Sydney hadn't seen wear since college. Francie was determined that Sydney would not breathe any paint fumes, instead sent her to the kitchen to make dinner and rewind from a long week at work. The night, despite how much paint splatters ended up on her friend's clothes, was a blast. They blared the music and sat around goofing off until late in the night, before everyone fell asleep on her living room floor and she snuck into her own bedroom for the night.  
  
Most of the weekend proceeded that way. When they weren't painting, they were in the living room eating, watching television or playing Scrabble (Sydney won five games, she let Will take two). Early Saturday morning all five of them were up, thanks to Will's loud early morning bathroom trip, eating cereal and watching weekend cartoons. Sydney spent Sunday afternoon making a large dinner to thank her friends for all their work. After all, by the time they left, they had painted everything - from the murals to the blue ceiling with clouds. Even barren of carpet and furniture it was a baby's paradise.  
  
No matter how much fun she with her friends, or how close she knew the ultimate destruction of the Alliance was, those were sleepless nights. She was getting larger and while her friends insisted she wasn't showing, she was growing more uncomfortable as the days until her third trimester neared. On the rare occasion she'd fall asleep, she'd be forced awake by vivid nightmares. She had been doing dangerous, life-altering work for years but only since she was pregnant did they come to haunt her in her dreams. Usually she would write passages in the journal that Vaughn had given her, passages he would have called 'Tolstoy-long'. Then she would get up and pace or watch the infomercials that clogged the television between the time that Los Angeles fell asleep and the rooster awoke.  
  
In a surprising change of pace, Sloane announced in a meeting Monday morning that he was sending Marshall out on a mission with Dixon. The objective of the mission was to obtain blueprints from a top-of-the-line vault in West Haven, Connecticut. The blueprints were to top of the line machine warfare and technology that were supposedly designed by a Professor at Yale who was attempting to sell them to the Germans. Sydney tried not to squirm with discomfort as Sloane went spoke of how it was their duty to national security to obtain the blueprints to keep them from falling in the wrong hands. It took every ounce of her not to tell her oblivious friends that the man standing in front of them was the one with the wrong hands.  
  
When Sydney arrived at the warehouse Monday afternoon to brief Vaughn on what she had learned, she was surprised to see her Father waiting with him. "Dad, what are you doing here?"  
  
"I was informing Mr. Vaughn that the CIA needs to get into the vault in Connecticut immediately before Dixon and Marshall can be there."  
  
"We've already reached our offices in New York and they're working on it right now," Vaughn added.  
  
"Oh," Sydney exclaimed, wondering what her purpose was at all now.   
  
"How are you feeling?" Jack asked, drawing her out of her thoughts.  
  
"Fine," she smiled. "I have my glucose test on Friday."   
  
"Is Francie still going with you?" Vaughn spoke up.  
  
"Yep, she is," she smiled and nodded.   
  
"I should be going. I agreed to sit in on a meeting at SD-6. I'll see you tomorrow," Jack nodded at his daughter before he walked out of the warehouse, allowing the two parents to be a brief second of privacy.  
  
"Don't worry about Connecticut, it'll be taken care of before Dixon and Marshall get there," he promised.  
  
"Thanks," she nodded. "Did you suggest the name to Charlotte and Patrick?"   
  
"William?" Sydney nodded. "Yeah, I did, they loved it."   
  
"Good," she smiled. "I'm glad."  
  
"I'm sure your glucose test will be fine."  
  
"Thanks, I think so too." She agreed. "I hate the thought of having to give myself insulin."   
  
"Will you be able to find out on Friday?"  
  
"Basically. If my test results come back high, they'll have me go back for a longer, more thorough test to be certain. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it doesn't get that far."  
  
"You'll let me know?" He asked, his eyes wide with concern.  
  
"Yes," she nodded. Reaching out, she took his hand in hers. "The baby's starting to wake up," she whispered, bringing their hands to rest on her stomach.   
  
"Is it getting hard to walk?"  
  
"It's getting harder," she agreed in a soft voice. "Francie just can't wait until the day I start waddling like a duck. She's all over me because she doesn't think I'm showing enough."  
  
"You aren't showing much," he agreed, daring to move his stomach as he felt the baby move. "Charlotte's bigger then you are, but she says that has something to do with having a second baby."  
  
"It might," she sighed. Looking at her face, noticing the bags that were starting to form under her eyes, he sighed and dropped his hand. This was not what she should be doing, he realized. Sydney should be at home, with her friends, where she was safe, with her feet up and resting.   
  
"You should go home."  
  
"Yeah," she realized sadly and nodded. "You'll contact me if you hear anything?"  
  
Vaughn nodded in agreement, reminding her to rest before he silently watched her walk out of the warehouse. Looking down at the warehouse floor, he pinched the bridge of his nose. Every time he saw her it was more difficult to pull himself away from her and their child. She was facing the brunt of the stress now, he realized. Although she didn't complain, it was obvious it was getting more uncomfortable for her to get around or be comfortable, and she was sleeping less and less. More then that, she was alone at night, no one to rub her back or feet or get her a glass of water. Not even someone to get up with her on what he assumed were frequent night trips to the bathroom.  
  
Consoling himself, he remembered that at least Will wasn't competition - at least not anymore. As selfish as it was, he'd rather her be alone then with someone else taking care of her. Vaughn sighed and closed up his briefcase. Without as much as another glance over his shoulder, he grabbed his case and walked out of the warehouse alone.  
  
  
  
"Syd, did you know that if Charlie and I made love in the missionary position, we'd have a better chance of having a girl?"  
  
"What?" Sydney asked, looking up from her own magazine. She and Francie sat in the doctor's office waiting for her to take her three-hour glucose test. With Francie to keep her amused, the wait wasn't too unbearable. "That's not true."  
  
"Yes, it is! See, right here!" Francie insisted, handing the article to her friend. Seconds later, it was playfully tossed back at her.  
  
"Francie, those are midwives tales, they're only worth a grain of salt."  
  
"They're fun though!" Francie grinned. "So Syd, what position were you in when baby Bristow was conceived?"  
  
Sydney rolled her eyes and muttered curses as her cheeks flushed. Returning to her normal tone, she answered, "I don't remember."  
  
"Let's see . . Your looks haven't worsened, but they haven't really improved all that much. ."  
  
"Thanks," she mumbled.  
  
"You're carrying more out front then wide . . . What's the baby's heart rate?"  
  
"140 at the last doctor's appointment."  
  
"Dead center," her friend muttered. "Is the baby's Father gaining weight?"  
  
"What?" She asked, now giving Francie her full attention.  
  
"The baby's Dad. Is he gaining weight too? According to this, if he is, especially since your carrying in front, it's a sure sign you're having a boy."  
  
"I don't remember. I don't think he has. I've already told you, I don't want to know what I'm having. Those are just old midwives tales anyway, they don't predict anything."  
  
"I'm so excited about this weekend. What color carpet did you decide on?" She asked. That was the weekend that Will's friend was coming over to install the nursery carpet, and once again Francie insisted on being there to supervise. At nearly twenty-seven weeks pregnant, Sydney was going to need to rest, not stand supervising a carpet installation.  
  
"Dark blue. Not because I think it's a boy, but because it goes with the painting very well and it won't stain easily."  
  
"Pink carpet would probably be too much," Francie agreed. "I really hope it's a girl. I love the name Laura, especially because of your Mom . . Plus, I'd really hate it if Will bragged about it being a boy for the next eighteen years."  
  
Sydney laughed, imagining that if she had a baby boy Will would do just that. "I think my Dad knows what it is. Somehow he was able to tell, but he won't tell me. He keeps reminding me that I want to be surprised."  
  
"You do, so it's a good thing that he reminds you. After all Syd, you'll be in labor for hours and hours and hours, you might as well be given some surprise at the end."  
  
"Do you think I'm crazy?"  
  
"What? For not finding out - "  
  
"No, for doing this on my own."  
  
Francie turned in the hard plastic chair to look at her best friend. "What? Syd, no, of course not! I'm so proud of you and so happy for you! Remember when I opened the restaurant, everyone thought I was nuts? You didn't, you and Will and Charlie were so supportive, even when my Mom laughed at me! You are going to be a great Mom Syd, I know it, and I am going to be the *best* Aunt that any infant has ever seen." She finished as both women laughed.  
  
"You will be great . . . Would you be interested in being the Godmother too?"   
  
"Really?" She smiled as her friend nodded. "I'd love that Syd, but only if your sure - "  
  
"Francie, there's no one as excited about this as you are, maybe not even me." She teased with a smile. "You've always been there for me, I don't know what I'd do without your help, and so I'm really sure I want it to be you."  
  
"That's so sweet!" Francie exclaimed, leaning over to hug her. "Thank you!"  
  
"Your welcome," she grinned.   
  
They separated and returned to their catalogues. "Syd, if it's a boy, circumcision or no?"  
  
Sydney was unable to stop her laugh, "circumcised, I guess. I haven't given it much thought."  
  
"You should, it's very important."   
  
"Any other important decisions that I've overlooked?"  
  
"You have plenty of time Syd . . It's just that some decisions need to be prepared for. Are you going to breastfeed?"   
  
"Yes." She answered, only to be met by Francie's surprised look. "What? It's best for the baby, I want what's best for the baby."  
  
"I don't know . . You seem so insistent that you'll return to work right away, I guess I didn't picture you having time to breastfeed."  
  
"I'll pump," she shrugged. "Keep some in the refrigerator for whoever is watching the baby."   
  
"Well I want to watch the baby whenever your Dad isn't."  
  
"You'll grow sick of the baby if you're with it all the time."  
  
"No, I won't, I'm Aunt Francie," she pointed out. "Your going to need help though, but promise me if I ever get to be too much, you'll tell me."  
  
"I promise Francie, if you ever get to be too much, I'll tell you." She agreed. Seconds later, the nurse popped in, calling her for her results. "Guess it's time."  
  
"You'll be fine," Francie insisted, squeezing her hand before Sydney went off on her own.  
  
Sydney's results were perfectly healthy and afterwards Francie took her to the restaurant for an early dinner to celebrate. The restaurant was just starting to go more crowded when she left in the early evening as dusk was starting to cover the city. After hugging her friends and saying goodbye, thanking Francie for the help and Charlie for making her food personally, she got into the car. Taking an extra ten minutes to insure she wasn't being followed, she drove in the direction of the familiar pier.  
  
At nearly twenty-seven weeks pregnant - almost seven months - leaning up against the pier watching the ocean wasn't as simple or comfortable as it used to be. Nowadays her back grew sore quickly and her feet would fall asleep. She was certain someone must have heard her complaints, because she wasn't waiting long before her companion arrived.  
  
Once again he stood a respectable distance away, creating the appearance that they weren't speaking to one another if someone else was monitoring them. He did, however, dare to glance at her before looking back out at the pier. The only thought on her mind, aside from how ridiculously sore she felt, was that it was getting too cold for them to be meeting outside. When he once again risked a glance in her direction, she realized she should say something.  
  
"My test was fine, no problems."  
  
"Good," he nodded slightly.  
  
"Classes start next week."   
  
"Are you ready?"  
  
"Yeah." She answered, wishing they had met in the warehouse so she could sit down and look at him.   
  
"We're taking down Vancouver next Monday, February second."   
  
"Okay," she replied, uncertain what to say to that.  
  
"I just thought you might want to know."   
  
"Thank you," she smiled. "I should go or I'll miss the Kings game." She realized.  
  
His response was a chuckle and a sigh. "I'll be in contact." He said softly, seeing her nod out of the corner of his eye before she turned around and walked away.  
  
The next afternoon Sydney found herself in the middle of rows and rows of baby sheets, examining colors, fabrics and styles with Jennie and Francie. "Syd, how about this?" Jennie asked, holding up linens in soft blue with yellow checks and stripes. "  
  
"I like that," Francie commented, picking up another package of it. "It's perfectly neutral, and it would go perfectly with the colors of the nursery."  
  
"I like it too," she agreed. "Do you think it was smart to leave Charlie and Will to supervise the carpet installation?" She asked, looking at her friends in worry.   
  
"They'll be fine. They're men, men are good at stuff like that." Francie pointed out. "We're women, we're good at shopping."   
  
"That's true," Jennie laughed. "So is this the one Syd?"  
  
"I think so, yeah. I really like this pattern." She agreed as her friends picked up the necessary amount of linens.   
  
"Next week should be so much fun, we finally get to see the Bristow heirloom furniture." Francie grinned. "You're definitely going to need an electric swing and a snugly."  
  
"A snugly?" Jennie questioned.  
  
"Yeah, it's like a sling. You can carry the baby hands free, and with a snugly the baby can either face you or the outside world. They even make ones with head support for younger babies. It's a must have for single Mom's like Syd."   
  
Jennie and Syd rolled their eyes at one another, sharing a brief laugh before the politely followed Francie. While her best friend might seem over-enthusiastic at times, Sydney was grateful to have Francie in her life. Not only was she one of her best and biggest supporters, but also she seemed to be able to give Sydney's pregnancy all the thought and excitement that Sydney was too preoccupied to provide.   
  
The women returned to Sydney's house later that night with all the linens necessary, a snugly and an electric swing, that while still in the box claimed to be easy to assemble. Before returning home they had stopped for dinner at the restaurant, unwinding from a busy day of shopping. By the time they got back to Sydney's house, Charlie and Will were in the living room watching Die Hard and there was a soft, beautiful, brand new blue carpet installed in what was to be her child's nursery.  
  
"It's actually starting to look like a nursery," Will realized, standing behind Sydney in the doorway of the nursery. The boys had been kind enough to set up the swing in the corner of the room, although she suspected it would be it's temporary home. With the carpet down, the walls done and the swing set up, it *did* look like a nursery.  
  
"So, how many more weeks?" Francie asked.  
  
"I'll be twenty seven weeks on Monday, so thirteen weeks."   
  
"Less then four months," Jennie whispered.  
  
"Let the countdown begin." 


	7. Coming to Terms Chapter 7

Title: Coming to Terms (Chapter 7)  
Author: UConn Fan (Michele)  
E-Mail: LoveUConnBasketball@yahoo.com  
  
Authors Note:   
I'm not a UConn student. I'm a senior in high school; I intend to go to college in Vermont & study English. I LOVE UConn, but it's too big for me and doesn't offer the program I want (the school I'm going to go to has about 500 kids, it's perfect). My future college is also NCAA Divison III sport, so no conflicts about being a UConn fan :) Anyone who loves UConn though, seriously, e-mail me, I'm obsessive about it. :)  
Everyone who reviews my story - I LOVE YOU! :) Thank you, your reviews make me so happy. I see this story about about 9 chapters, give or take, and there will be a sequel of sorts (although I might not post it, unless there's an interest). Also, I'm thinking about entering this in the next FOF, what does everyone think?  
  
Is this getting boring? Well, the good news is at the end of this section, there are less then 5 cells remaining in the Alliance & Sydney's on her way to the hospital. Also, the girl who's birthday is the same as Sydney's due date, Sydney doesn't give birth on that date BUT I promise something WILL happen on April 27th, just because I don't want to make you sad!   
  
Are they still in character? Is they're not, please tell me. I'm worried that this is becoming worse as it goes along instead of better. Please read & respond, you literally make my day.   
  
This is dedicated to my sister, although she'll probably never read it. She listens & listens & listens so more. Meggie, you *are* the best and I love you *so* much! :) Also dedicated to my former babysitter Mandy, I named Sydney's nanny after her. I haven't seen her in a long time but I still think of her fairly often, I wouldn't be the person I am today without her.  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any recognizable characters, Jennie's mine but if you want her you can have her. I don't own 'Catcher in the Rye', Lakers, Kobe Bryant, Madonna, Cher, the movies "The Next Best Thing" or "Mermaids", the NHL teams the Kings or the Blackhawks, "Felicity", "ER", "Chicago Hope", Yale University, University of Southern California, Mets or Yankees (Sure wish I did), or really anything or anyone else you recognize. I'm just playing, don't sue, ask anyone, you won't get anything.  
  
  
For Sydney, her friends "countdown" really seemed to start the following Monday. Looking in the mirror she realized that at twenty-seven weeks pregnant she could no longer deny that she waddled instead of walked. Although she reassured herself that she bore no resemblance to a duck, it didn't make her feel too good. Along with that her sore back, puffy feet and constantly full bladder made for more then enough on her plate.  
  
Jack picked up his daughter early Friday evening and they drove to Our Lady of Mercy. During their first class they were part of a small group that was introduced to a woman named Nancy. Nancy claimed to be a trained childbirth instructor but admitted she had no children of her own (Sydney wondered how what was even possible). For the first time in her pregnancy she met another single Mother, a USC graduate student who was being coached by her Mother. Everyone seemed relatively nice, and no one appeared to be related to SD-6 or the Alliance. Instead the group seemed to have been forced together by the random miracle of life.  
  
Nancy explained to everyone that the class would meet eight times during the next eight weeks. All of the women in the group were due between late March and late May, leaving her due date directly in the middle. Their instructor explained how in the weeks to come they would learn breathing techniques, what to expect from labor, pain medication, hospital procedures as well as what to expect from nursing and a newborn. Cheerfully she informed them that they would even be lucky enough to view a video of a live birth and a c-section, although she added that Our Lady of Mercy had the lowest c-section rate in all of California.  
  
Late Monday morning Sloane called them into a meeting. The four of them were kept waiting for nearly a half hour before Sloane marched in, so visibly angry that she swore she had seen smoke coming from his ears. Yanking the remote off of the table, he put the monitor on and began to speak.   
  
"This morning our offices in Vancouver were raided and destroyed, leaving several innocent agents killed in the gun fire that ensued. Our director of that office, Robin Roland, was taken into custody by the unknown organization. This is the forth office to be taken over and destroyed in the last month. Whoever it is, we believe it's the same organization. Security section has very little to go on, seconds before each office was raided the video feed to the security cameras was cut off and all lines, wireless or otherwise, were disabled making communication to the outside impossible."  
  
"Does security section suspect K-Directorate?" Dixon suggested.  
  
"No, we've already discredited them. Some of their offices have been under attack in recent weeks as well, also by this unknown organization. In fact all of our enemies have come under attack in recent weeks by this same unknown organization. Whatever this organization is, they are taking information from agents they've captured and using it against us. It is *imperative* to the sanctity of this organization and our government that we remain *extremely* vigilant in the weeks to come."  
  
"Sir . . You d-d-don't think we're next, do you?" Marshall asked feebly, obviously terrified.  
  
"If someone does attempt to raid and destroy these offices, they will live to regret it." Sloane seethed.   
  
"Do we have a mole somewhere?" Dixon asked.  
  
"No, we have no reason to believe that this organization is getting it's information any other way then from the agents and directors it's taken into custody."  
  
"How do we stop it?" Sydney dared to ask. Almost hearing the room's conversation, her child kicked her, *hard*, as if to remind it's Mother that they *didn't* want to stop it.  
  
"Security section is currently working on discovering the identity of this unknown organization. As soon as we know the origin of these attacks, we'll take immediate action to stop them." Sloane explained. "That is all," he sighed heavily as he sat down.   
  
Sydney shared a brief look with her partner before they stood, leaving their boss alone to his thoughts. While she sat getting comfortable at her desk, she wondered if Sloane really knew who was behind the attacks. Either way, she was comforted knowing that they weren't suspecting a mole - that made her life a tad easier. Even if security section was aware that the Alliance was under attack by the CIA, there was nothing Sloane could do about it. Telling his employees that they were facing the possibility of destruction by the CIA would be the end of the ruse that he had been playing.  
  
"Sloane cannot risk taking any action against the CIA if he discovers they're the source of the Alliance's destruction," Jack explained as they drove to the hospital Friday evening for childbirth classes.   
  
"Does he even suspect the CIA?"  
  
"He suspects them but he has no proof. The CIA has successfully dissembled the offices without being monitored and any offices involved who had real knowledge of the Alliance's intentions are in custody."   
  
"Has security section discovered any errors with the copy of 'Catcher in the Rye' that Dixon retrieved from Rome?"  
  
"No," Jack answered. "The one crucial thing we have on our side is that Sloane has no reason to suspect a mole at SD-6, although we have no reason to suspect that the security section isn't still closely monitoring everyone's actions. In the current climate, Sloane must be cautious. His main concern cannot be revenge but preservation."  
  
"I just want this life over with Dad," she said softly as a hand rested protectively over her belly. "For the baby and I."  
  
"Yes, I understand." He said blankly.   
  
"You'll still meet Charlie and Will at the storage facility tomorrow afternoon?" She asked as he nodded. "Francie, Jennie and I will be back at the house by the time you arrive, we're going to go shopping for some more equipment. Thank you for helping us with this."  
  
"Your welcome Sydney," he nodded.   
  
That evening her childbirth class was given a tour of the hospitals labor and delivery ward as well as a brief walk-by of the nursery. As they walked by, Sydney was struck by how tiny and helpless they all were. Soon enough her own baby would be there. Then it would be her responsibility to mold, care for and raise an innocent life. Nancy lightheartedly reminded them that all first time parents make mistakes. The beauty of that was that while they had never been parents before, their baby had never been born or raised before either.   
  
It was Saturday evening Vaughn walked into the boarding house. He hated this, he thought as he climbed the steps while the planks grew creakier under his feet as he reached the third floor. Whenever he was here it was rarely a good thing, although every memory he had there was connected to Sydney. Opening the door with it's familiar '2' hanging by it's hinges, he slipped in, wondering why he felt he had to be so cautious when they were in a safe location.  
  
"I'm sorry," Sydney sniffled as she stood. "I didn't mean to make a big deal out of this, but then I remembered this place . . With my back, I can barely get comfortable anywhere, never mind the warehouse -"  
  
"It's fine." He insisted as he motioned for her to sit on the bed. After a moment he sat down next to her. Patiently he waited for her to speak. Eventually she shifted to give him her attention as she began to talk.  
  
"Yesterday Nancy, my childbirth instructor, she said that it's okay to be nervous about having a baby for the first time. A first time parent as an advantage because a baby has never been raised before either." She explained as he nodded, not sure where was heading. "Which makes sense, don't you think that makes sense?"  
  
"Yeah." He shrugged.  
  
"I don't know anything about being a Mother . . My own Mother was a fraud," she laughed, her laughter bordered on hysterical. "I don't know how to be a Mother . . I look at my friends. They're all really good people, great people. They all helped me today, Will and Charlie moved furniture with my Dad . . Jennie and Francie went shopping with me . . . I see them and I know how lucky I am, but I *know* I'm not a good enough friend . . . I'm not even sure I know how to be with someone," she whispered regretfully, unable to meet his eyes as he muttered the words. "The *only* thing I know how to be is a spy. Even today, when I was directing everyone where to put furniture, I was arranging it so that if someone *did* try to break in, they'd make enough noise so I could get to the baby in time. What normal Mother considers potential break-ins by her enemies in espionage when planning their child's nursery?"  
  
By then she turned back to him, the tip of her nose was red as she sat on the verge of tears. "I've been so excited about the baby's new life starting while my spy life is ending . . Now I don't know if I'm doing the right thing. I *know* the Alliance needs to end, and I need out of this life . .I *want* out of this life, but what am I supposed to do when this is all over?"   
  
Vaughn's eyes met hers. No matter how long he searched his brain, there were no words to say. Instead, she took the initiative and spoke again. In the end, he suspected that's what she needed the most anyway. "All I want is to look at my life, to look at *all* of my life, and be happy with it. Now I look at my life and it's not even one life, it's several different lives where I jump back and forth playing the appropriate character. I just want to look at my life and see all the good things together as one life. I just want to be able to look at my life in ten years from now and not be disgusted with my own decisions."   
  
"I know," he sighed. Silently he wrapped his left arm around her shoulders as she rested her head on his shoulder. Eventually she began to cry, tears of frustration and anger, confusion and need.   
  
"Will I always be like this?" She whispered, not lifting her head from his shoulder. "Will I always be so confused and angry at myself?"  
  
"You have no reason to be angry at yourself," he insisted. He used his right hand to gently touch her hair and planted a soft kiss on her forehead. "I'm proud of you Syd, because you go out there and you do the darkest job a person could do. Every day you come face to face with the enemy. You haven't let yourself become that Syd; you haven't let them get to you. Don't let them win by getting to you, your so much better then they are."   
  
All she did was nod against his shoulder. Taking his right hand she placed it on her stomach. Although their baby was half-awake, he or she greeted his or her Father with a gentle kick. Vaughn sighed and tilted his head against hers, no wish more prominent in his heart then to have this end right then and there. To give Sydney the freedom to be happy and safe, to make her own choices and take her life into her own hands. Instead of offering her one-dimensional words, he kept his eyes on her, on the family he held in his arms. *His* family.  
  
"I'm sorry," she sniffled a suspended moment later.   
  
"Don't apologize," he reminded her. "You worked on the nursery?" He asked with the hopes of shifting the conversation. There was a rare chance that by shifting the topic he could slightly lift her spirits.  
  
"Yes," she wiped away her tears. "I was able to get a lot from storage. There was a cradle, a crib, Armour and changing table that were all handcrafted and part of a set. Then they took the glider and ottoman that my Mother used to rock me . . " She shifted her eyes to look at him. "I know it's a piece of her, but I have a lot of good memories with that glider . . I love it." She explained as he nodded.   
  
"We bought padding for the changing table and a mattress for the crib. I didn't put the sheets on, but I probably will soon ... Jennie and Will bought me a baby book, since I won't let anyone throw me a baby shower they're just giving me gifts," she laughed in embarrassment. "A lot of it can't be filled out until the baby is born . . . So, I started on the Family Tree." She looked at him, her eyes wide and her face stained with mascara and the track of tears. "There is so much that's empty. I can't fill in the details about the Father because of security purposes - can you believe that, security purposes in my own child's baby book," she sniffled. "Then I barely know anything about myself." She realized. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to fill the entire thing."  
  
"We'll fill what we can," he vowed. Again she nodded against his shoulder, remaining silent for a long time, comforted by the knowledge that she wasn't in this alone. Not entirely anyway, and certainly not forever.   
  
"How much longer until I'm out of this?" She asked in a tiny voice.  
  
"Soon, I hope." He reassured her. "You're stronger then this Syd, I know it, you're going to be fine. Just fine."   
  
"I'm so tired of all this lying, of having to help Sloane when I really want to lean over and kick box his head in," she muttered. A soft laugh vibrated throughout his body, causing her to laugh. "That's an interesting image, isn't it?"  
  
"Sure is." He agreed. "Syd, while we're here, I need to talk to you about something."  
  
Sydney pulled back and looked at him. "What is it?" She was instantly professional, her back straight and her expression stoic. Slowly he took his arm off her shoulders and mirrored her posture.  
  
"The CIA has your Mother's remains. After the raid in Moscow, since she was technically an unclaimed body, her body was cremated. They were going to scatter her ashes into the sea, which is the standard procedure, but I thought you might want to do something with them."  
  
"Vaughn," her face contorted in painful confusion. "You know she was a *horrible* woman - "  
  
"She was your Mother. This could be the last chance you have to make peace with her, with the Laura Bristow you grew up with and the Irina Derevko you've learned about." He carefully explained.   
  
"Does my Father know about this?"  
  
"No, I spoke to Devlin and requested that Jack not be told. It's your decision, and if you decide not to take them they'll be handled by CIA protocol."  
  
Sydney nodded; holding his hand while her free hand drew circles on her belly. He sat silently beside her, holding her hand and watching her. That was one of his favorite things to do, when given the chance was to watch her. He'd watch her sleep, loving the expression on her face and the inane mumbles that would come from her mouth during her slumber. Now she was faced with what he knew was a horrible decision. The decision was hers alone to make, free of her Father or even his bias. He wanted to offer her a chance for peace, a chance for whatever she felt she might still need. This was the best he could do; it was up to her after that.  
  
Turning towards him, she asked in an emotionless voice, "how long until I can have the ashes?"   
  
  
  
"Syd, are you *sure* you don't want to come out with us?" Francie asked, clasping her earring in as Sydney finished zipping up her friends dress.  
  
"I'm sure," she smiled. "This is Valentines Day, you guys go out and have fun. You can come by later, or tomorrow. Call if you do decide to come, I'm pretty exhausted, I think I just might crash." She shrugged.   
  
"You certainly look ready for a good night of ice cream and romantic comedies." Jennie smiled as she grabbed her coat. Sydney looked down at her sweatpants and t-shirt in self-consciousness before she shrugged. At nearly thirty weeks pregnant she was losing more and more control over her body as the days passed. "Thanks for letting us get ready here Syd, we just didn't want the guys to see these new dresses before dinner."  
  
"You both look great, I'm sure they'll be thrilled. Anyway, I should thank you guys for bringing me the movies."   
  
"No problem. Before Will I had a long string of idiot boyfriends, I have a lot more where those came from." Jennie explained as she laughed. When the doorbell rang she opened it, smiling at how handsome both Charlie and Will looked.  
  
"Come in," she insisted. Both hugged her before turning to their significant others. Sydney's smile grew slightly nostalgic as she watched her friends greet one another, Will and Jennie so wrapped up in the newness of a real relationship while Charlie and Francie were comfortable and at ease with one another. Despite their contrasting relationship stages, both were deeply in love with each other.   
  
"We'll bring you back leftovers?" Will suggested as she started to Shepard them out.  
  
"You better, especially if it's peaches or chocolate."  
  
"Peaches?" Charlie asked in confusion.  
  
"Yeah, that's her new thing. I'll explain on the way to the restaurant," Francie promised. She grabbed her husband's arm and both couples walked out of the house. Sydney stood watching them get into the one car and they appeared to be bickering over the radio as Charlie drove the car out of the driveway.  
  
She waited a full five minutes until she leaned over for the phone; her numbers dialed the appropriate phone number. "Go ahead."  
  
"Twenty minutes?" She asked, already walking back to her bedroom to change.  
  
"I'll be there," the voice responded. Seconds later she heard a dead signal as she hung up her own phone.   
  
Half an hour later Sydney stood on the white sand of the private beach, surrounded by the darkness of night. Swallowing hard, she looked over at her companion. "I think I'm supposed to say something here," she whispered.  
  
"Do you want to say anything?" He asked.  
  
She shrugged, "no, I don't think so. I think this is enough."   
  
"Are you sure you want me to do this?"   
  
"Yes," she nodded. Their expressions lit only by the moon and the nearby city lights; she was still able to see his nod. In a different way this was just as difficult, perhaps more difficult for him. However when she had asked him to be there, to do this for her, he had agreed without hesitation. Just as he always did; he'd follow her to the ends of the earth. In fact he had, just as she'd do it all for him in a heartbeat.  
  
He stepped away from her and opened the urn. Hugging herself, their baby kicked as he waded barefoot into the water and scattered the ashes, taking a few moments before he returned to her side. Although their eyes met in the dark, she clearly saw the sympathy, concern and affection that went unhidden in his emerald eyes. "Thank you," she whispered as he nodded. "Do you think my Father will be able to forgive me?"  
  
After a second of deliberation, he dared to meet her eyes in the sanctuary of the darkness. "I think that ultimately this was your decision. Your Father has had the opportunity to make his peace, to create his own opinion. This was your opportunity, and it was your decision. You've done nothing wrong. This does not betray him, this is for you, and so you can move on. Nothing else."   
  
"Thank you," she restated. Now he grinned as his eyes twinkled.  
  
"You already said that," he reminded her. She grinned, slightly embarrassed.  
  
"I guess I did," she realized as she kicked the sand underneath her feet.  
  
"Happy Valentines Day," he spoke, almost as an afterthought.  
  
"You forgot it was Valentines Day, didn't you?" She softly teased, grinning at him through the darkness.  
  
"I did not!" He protested. Judging by his smile, she knew he had.   
  
"You so did."   
  
He shrugged and looked away, still both smiling playfully. "Okay, maybe I did."  
  
"How'd you get this place?" She asked softly. "The private beach?"  
  
"Do you really want to know?" He challenged. Sydney looked away, in truth she didn't want to know. In truth it didn't matter all that much anyway. What mattered was he had done this for her, no matter how much it tore at him he had done it for her.  
  
"This place is beautiful though," she commented, turning around. Far off in the distance were massive mansions, home of the quiet elite of California. Beautiful homes, beautiful beaches and a beautiful night. "I'd love to live someplace like this. Away from everything."  
  
"It gets too quiet during the winter and too loud during the summer. This may be a private beach, but from those houses you hear plenty of beach bums. Drunk ones too. Trust me, drunk beach bums are terrifying," he teased. He was delighted that his target was reached and she laughed.  
  
"Do you think the baby will be born late?" She asked softly.  
  
"I don't know," he shrugged.  
  
"I hope not. I want to be there when this all ends."  
  
A regretful sigh reached her ears as he kicked the sand under his feet. "I know you do."  
  
"I need to be there, I don't care how dangerous it is. It can't be something I read about in a case file." She explained, daring to briefly meet his eyes.  
  
"I know," he agreed. "On that day, whenever it is, we'll make arrangements to insure that your Father is there as well."  
  
"Is that for my safety or your sanity?" She teased and he laughed.  
  
"Both," he grinned. With a heavy sigh, he grew serious. Their lighthearted moments were so few and far between, and while there was an end in sight there was still a considerable amount to work through. For both of them. Things for them would never be simple, but he suspected it wouldn't mean as much if it were.   
  
"I should go. They might be coming back to my house after dinner, so I should probably be there if they decide to come." She realized. He silently responded, just nodding his head. "Thank you."  
"Your welcome," his lips formed a small smile before she turned and walked into the darkness of the night.  
  
Later that night she found herself once again unable to sleep after a late-night bathroom run. Sydney was unable to stop all the thoughts that raged through her head. Pacing through her home, her bare feet ended up leading her to the nursery. After she had put the sheets on the crib's mattress, she sat down in the glider, lightly rocking. Being there with the carpet down, walls painted, the crib, changing table and glider there, it all seemed so real.   
  
Looking around, she surveyed how much more she still had to buy. She realized that there wasn't a single lamp in the room. That just wouldn't do, she couldn't turn on the bright overhead light every time she snuck in here, especially late at night? The crib needed a mobile and maybe a radio so she had something to listen to at night. With the highly dangerous lifestyle she lived, she knew it was even more imperative that she buy a baby monitor so she could keep track of the baby when he or she was out of her sight.   
  
Aside from furniture, such as diaper pails and portable playpens, she needed to stock up on simple things. There needed to be diapers on hand, warm blankets in the closet and bottles for when she would be away at work. Soon enough she and Francie could allow themselves to go shopping, since she had nothing for the baby to wear aside from an aged, handmade christening gown. With a sense of paranoia running through her veins, she had been so careful not to buy anything too early that now she realized there was still so much to do.  
  
Sunday evening her friends congregated to her home for dinner. The company did her good. Francie and Charlie brought food already made at the restaurant, leaving them little to do aside from getting plates and utensils and eating. The five of them sat down and spent a few quiet moments passing around containers and dishing out food. Eventually everyone was settled around and conversation began.  
  
"We need to go shopping next weekend," Sydney told Francie, who's eyes lit up with excitement.  
  
"Baby shopping?"  
  
"Yes," she laughed. "I was in the nursery last night and I realized that I have about ten weeks until this baby gets here and I don't have a single piece of clothing. I don't have any blankets or bottles or diapers or anything."  
  
"With a newborn your not going to have time to go out and shop, you're going to want to stock up on diapers in different sizes." Jennie warned. "I remember when my brother was born we ran out of clothes so fast because we bought so small, so you're going to want to buy big."  
  
"You remember that from when you were little?" Will asked in awe. Jennie turned towards him, her eyes wide as she shrugged.  
  
"No, I was seventeen when my brother was born."  
  
"You're going to need stuffed animals too, and a breast pump."  
  
"Francie!" Will's nose scrunched up in disgust as he dropped his fork.  
  
"What? It's not too unreasonable. If she's going to breastfeed and return to work, she's going to need a pump."  
  
"We *do* still have ten weeks, you don't want to get it all in one weekend." Charlie jumped in to remind them. "If you do it all in one weekend your going to go out of your mind for the remainder of the wait."  
  
"She has a point. You still do have a lot to do, but pace yourself." Jennie advised. "Trust me, the farther you get the worse it is to wait."  
  
"Are you *sure* you've never had a baby?" Will looked at his girlfriend.  
  
"I *was* seventeen when my brother was born." She reminded him as he shrugged and returned to his food.   
  
"How are your classes coming?" Francie questioned.  
  
"Really good. In a few weeks were going to see a video of a caesarean and then the week after that we'll see a video of a live birth."  
  
"Do all childbirth classes make you watch them?" Francie spoke now with obvious disgust.  
  
"I'm sure when you take your childbirth classes they won't force you to watch them." She gently reassured her.  
  
"I hope not," she declared, turning back to her food.   
  
"Are you feeling okay though?"  
  
"Yeah," she shrugged. "I just feel like the baby's going to fall out," she smiled and laughed at her own joke.  
  
"That's because the baby's engaging," Francie informed her. When her four friends looked at her, amused that she knew that, she shrugged. "I read a bunch of magazines at the doctor's! It just means the baby's getting comfortable in the pelvis and preparing for birth."  
  
"Eww, gross, Francie, *please* not at dinner!" Will demanded while his friends laughed.  
  
"Will, what are you going to do when you're in the delivery room with me?" Jennie asked gently.  
  
"Not eat dinner!"   
  
They all laughed before they started talking about Will's most recent column.  
  
  
  
The following Wednesday morning Sydney walked slowly into the SD-6 offices at Credit Dauphine. At thirty one weeks along she was one step closer to her due date and even farther way from ever fitting into her own clothes again. By then even walking could be a slow and muscle-aching experience, especially as the day progressed. Even the simple task of sitting up and getting out of bed could take a good five minutes in the morning, not that she actually slept until the morning though.  
  
Before she could even set her bag down at her desk, Sloane walked by and told both she and Dixon to report to his office immediately. Dixon's puzzled glance reflected just what she was feeling as she followed them into the familiar conference room. Taking a few seconds to get comfortable in her seat, she watched as her boss flicked on the monitor, displaying a plain looking granite building.  
  
"This is a building in Vienna, formerly the home of the joint offices of our allies. This morning this office was raided into by the same unknown organization who continues to raid our offices on a nearly *by weekly* basis," he seethed. With another flick of his wrist, the image of a man who reminded her of Santa Claus appeared on the screen. "This is Stephen Cashman, the head of one of our Vienna offices," the image was followed by a grainy photo of a tall, presumably graying man with a prominent nose. "This is Christopher Ryans, he was the head of our other offices. Both have been taken into custody by this unknown organization. Dixon you leave tonight to recover any and all Rimbaldi artifacts, and there are several in these offices. Jack, I trust you can brief them."  
  
Jack nodded, as Sloane stood erect and walked out of the office. Why Sydney needed to stay, she was never certain. It was the same briefing as they had received before Dixon left for Rome. He would reclaim what he could for SD-6 and upon his return Jack would supervise them as they designated through what he had brought back. Once Dixon left the room, her Father took out the pen to cut off the security feed and turned towards his daughter.  
  
"SD-4 and SD-9?" She asked as he nodded. "Six down, six to go," she realized softly. "What does Sloane intend to do?"  
  
"Right now his primary concern is preserving what remains of the Alliance. There's a possibility of what's left of the Alliance holding a meeting in London this weekend, but right now all of the Branch Directors are so paranoid about being infiltrated and destroyed that no one wants to leave their city. Nor can any of them agree on what organization is doing this or what to do to stop it."  
  
"They're destroying themselves," she whispered in awe.  
  
"No one wants to be stabbed in the back or lose their own branch. They're close to forgoing any attempts to keep the Alliance intact and instead focus solely on their own self preservation."  
  
Before Sydney could respond, the pen beeped, signaling that the security feed had been restored. Standing up, she nodded at her Father. "Thanks Dad." She smiled as he nodded back and watched her walk out of the room.  
  
Thursday evening she walked into the warehouse cage, smiling at Vaughn when he came into view. "Hey."  
  
"Hi. Vienna was a massive success."  
  
"Really?" She asked, smiling at the pillow that had been arranged on the plastic chair, making her slightly more comfortable.  
  
"Really. Apparently the Alliance had forgotten that they had blueprints, financial information, business transactions and Rimbaldi artifacts all in storage at their Vienna facilities."  
  
"That is huge," she agreed.  
  
"It'll help us when we raid the remaining offices, and their already using some of what we've confiscated to begin their case against the Alliance members."  
  
"Good," she nodded. "Are Cashman and Ryan's being cooperative?"  
"In today's current climate they have no other option then to be cooperative," he reminded her with a smile. Sydney's eyes slid shut as she nodded. "Hey, are you okay?" He asked softly, his focus instantly changing to her.   
  
"I'll be fine," she smiled as she opened her eyes. "How's Charlotte doing?"  
  
"Fine last time I spoke to her," he shrugged. "Maya's getting more and more excited."  
  
Sydney smiled at the thought. "Good," she nodded. "The CIA planted what Dixon is supposed to find in Vienna, right?"  
  
"Yes, it's taken care of." He promised.  
  
"This is going to end eventually, right?" She asked softly.  
  
"Yeah," he promised, his own eyes gentle. "Soon."   
  
"Good," she nodded. "What do you think of Grace?"  
  
"That's pretty," he agreed. Although the baby would be born a Bristow, he hoped one day he or she would be a Vaughn, and Grace flowed well in either combination.  
  
"Robert for a boy."  
  
"Robert Bristow, good name." He tried it out as she smiled; glad he was attempting to lighten the situation. "You're going to be fine Syd," he reassured her. "You're going to be a great Mother. Maybe so good you won't even need me around." He teased.  
  
Her eyes met his. Sydney hated when his humor turned self-deprecating. It was always better when he made her laugh with her non-humorous jokes. "Don't say that," she directed. "I need you." Her eyes shone with all the unspoken fear she had not only about her child's future, but her future, the Alliance, things with her Father, everything.   
  
"Yeah," he agreed as he reached out to take her hand. "I know."   
  
"Thanks for the pillow," she grinned as they both laughed. "Did I tell you Will and Francie are betting each other on what I'm having?"  
  
"No, you didn't," he smiled as he bent down, giving them a better chance to make eye contact.   
  
"Yeah. Will's still ready to bet his soul that it's a boy and Francie would probably bet the restaurant that it's a girl. Originally they bet each other dessert at the cafe. Now if it's a boy, Francie has to buy Will and Jennie tickets to a Lakers game and if it's a girl Will has to buy Francie and Charlie tickets to a game."  
  
"And what do you get?"   
  
"To sit at home and watch the game on television?" She suggested. His response was to join in with her laughter and squeeze her hand. "Thank you," she said somberly a moment later.  
  
"For what?"  
  
"For being there."   
  
Vaughn smiled and squeezed her hand again. "Your welcome."   
  
"I should go," she realized as he stood and then helped her stand up. "Dixon isn't scheduled to return until Monday or Tuesday."  
  
"Okay. Your Father will be supervising when he returns. We don't anticipate there being any problems with what he'll be bringing back."  
  
Sydney nodded and thanked him. After they spent a prolong moment smiling at one another she forced herself to turn around and leave him.  
  
Friday Sydney kept herself preoccupied at work. Moments seemed to drag by those days, not only because of her pregnancy but because it all seemed so pointless. She seemed to serve no purpose there anymore. Anything she did, any piece of paperwork or any briefing she sat in on would be null and void in just a short few months. The end was so close in sight, the CIA already had enough to start work on a trial against the Alliance members and with the blueprints of the offices and so many leaders in custody, it seemed that they had all the information to take them down as well. Now all that had to happen was the passage of time.  
  
Since her Father spent most of the day in meetings with Sloane, she sat in Marshall's office. When she dared to sit down in his inflatable chair, she found it surprisingly comfortable. Due to how gracious he was and how excited he seemed to be to show her his new toys and gadgets, she gave him her full attention. He even got her some water before returning to explain another new gadget he had invented. His excitement and exuberance might have been slightly overwhelming, but he was sweet and obviously brilliant to have created what he had over the years. After he helped her up and she left the office, she couldn't help but hope that the CIA had a niche for someone as sweet as Marshall.  
  
That evening on the ride to the hospital, her Father explained the purpose of his meetings with Sloane. His day had been full of conference calls with other members of the Alliance, and as one of the few people Arvin Sloane trusted without question he had been asked to sit in on them. Occasionally he had been asked his opinion on strategy or who could possibly be doing this to the Alliance. Jack suggested offhandedly that it could be a tactic of K-Directorate. When reminded that some K-Directorate cells had been under attack as well, he proposed that they were staged raids in order to throw the Alliance off their tail.  
  
Sitting next to her Father in the car, Sydney was briefly awed by his strategic genius.   
  
In class that night they worked on they're breathing and relaxing exercises. Nancy spoke to them about the signs of labor versus when you should call your doctor or midwife, an especially important topic because a few women in her class were due in less then a month. At the end of the class they lingered long enough to make brief small talk without looking rude. Then, at the earliest possible moment, they left. Sydney might have wanted normalcy, but she hadn't achieved it yet, and as a result she didn't feel comfortable mingling with women who's main concern seemed to be baby names and what outfit they should bring their babies home in. Sydney's life wasn't that simple, although she certainly wished it were.  
  
Saturday night Will had requested that Sydney make swordfish and all of her friends came over. Much to her confusion, Will seemed especially jumpy as they sat in the living room. As they waited for the fish to cook they played Life and debated who was better - Madonna or Cher?  
  
"C'mon Francie, admit it, Mermaids always makes you cry and you can't even *stand* The Next Best Thing." Will pointed out as they waited for dinner to be ready.  
  
"Mermaids seemed so *long* the first time I saw it, I thought it was never going to end!" Francie insisted.  
  
"She has a point," Jennie meekly agreed.  
  
"Syd, help me out here, who's better, Cher or Madonna?" Will asked. Sydney looked up from her yellow car to look at her friends. So far she had successfully stayed out of the debate, and she searched her brain for how to remain neutral.  
  
"I don't know . . I actually liked Mermaids the second time around, the first time it *was* kind of long . . I like The Next Best Thing and the guy in it . ."   
  
"Rupert Everet?" Charlie asked in surprise.  
  
"No! The one who played Kevin . ." She trailed off and shrugged. "I don't know who he is, he's cute though." She smiled.  
  
"He is cute," Jennie agreed.  
  
"That man wasn't cute, that man was *hot*, and whoever played him is *hot*." Francie corrected. Charlie shot her a look. "What?" She smiled and leaned over to kiss him.  
  
The kitchen buzzer sounded and Sydney extracted herself from the sofa. "Dinner should be ready."  
  
"I'll bring it in Syd, go sit down," Francie insisted as the rest of them walked to the dining room.  
  
"It smells good Syd, what did you make?" Jennie asked.  
  
"Swordfish." She smiled as she got into her seat.  
  
"Really? That's my favorite."  
  
"I know," Will grinned. Francie came in with the platter and sat down.   
  
After the food was dished out and everyone was comfortable, conversation started up again. They decided to end their debate of Madonna versus Cher, at least until after dinner was over. "I'm going to Texas." Will said calmly.  
  
"What?" They all asked at once.   
  
"For a story," he shrugged. "Don't look at me like that, it's not like I'm taking a big vacation without you guys."  
  
"What could there possibly be to write about in Texas?" Jennie asked.  
  
"A social interest story. A family allowed their son's heart to be transplanted into the Father of the guy whose car collided with their sons and killed him."  
  
"Sounds gory." Francie decided.  
  
"And complicated," Sydney added.   
  
"Yeah, well, it's a story," Will shrugged. "I'm leaving Tuesday, I should be back Friday."  
  
"Good, you can make my parents dinner Saturday," Jennie decided with a grin.  
  
"What?" He asked, his eyes widening. "Your parents are coming in to town?"  
  
"Did I forget to tell you?" She teased. Francie exchanged a roll of the eyes with Sydney before Syd returned her attention to eating her dinner.  
  
On the other side of town Vaughn and Weiss floated through the crowds at the Staples Center. "I can't believe you were able to get tickets to the Blackhawks-Kings game," Weiss said in amazement.  
  
"Yeah," Vaughn shrugged, only giving his friend part of his attention as he led him into the gift shop. "I have to go to dinner at my Mother's tomorrow," he remembered.  
  
"How is Brigitte these days?" Weiss questioned. "Making any of her chicken cordon bleu soon?"  
  
"My Mother's fine and to my knowledge no, we're having stew tomorrow." He answered, bringing them in the direction of the baby/toddler apparel. Weiss watched in confusion as his friend just started to sift through the baby's outfits.  
  
"Tell her to make some chicken and invite me over."  
  
"I'll get right on that," he muttered, taking a L.A. Kings onesie from the rack and walking towards the cashier.  
  
"You're really excited about getting a nephew, huh?" He asked as Vaughn started to pay for the onesie.  
  
"Huh?" He looked up in confusion. Weiss picked up the hanger and pointed at the onesie.  
  
"Last time I checked this is a bit too small for you."  
  
"Yeah, I guess I'm excited about having a nephew." He grabbed the brown bag from his friend and started to walk out of the gift shop.   
  
"Man, wait up," Weiss hurried to catch him, grabbing is shoulder to get his attention. "You *are* excited about getting a nephew, right?" He asked, the underlying meaning to his words clearly written on his face. When Vaughn didn't respond, his friend sighed heavily and looked downward. "Man, you are *so* screwed."  
  
"Thank you very much," he said dryly. "Now I came here to see a hockey game, not have an argument with you, so let's just go." He explained as he led his friend towards the rink.  
  
Weiss stood briefly still, saying a silent prayer for his friend before he quickly walked to catch up.   
  
  
  
"This is so exciting," Francie said over pizza Monday night. Sydney looked up from her piece, feeling the heartburn kick in.   
  
"Why is this so exciting? It's just pizza and a rented movie." She grinned as her friend laughed.  
  
"Yeah, but next *month* your going to have a baby. Isn't that exciting?"   
  
Sydney moved slightly, attempting to get more comfortable with her belly, which was swollen at thirty-two weeks along. "It's exciting and uncomfortable," she laughed.  
  
"You could literally have the baby in five weeks and it would be healthy. I hope you don't go too long though Syd, I'd hate to see you have to be induced or something, I heard that hurts."   
  
"The good news is that Our Lady of Mercy has one of the lowest c-section rates in the state," Sydney reminded her with a smile.  
  
"I'm so glad that your Dad is going to be there. Charlie and I will be in the hallway or wherever you want us. Just not in the actual room."  
  
"I don't know how long I'm going to be in labor Francie, Nancy said that first time Mother's take an average of twenty four hours."  
  
"Ow," she muttered. "So, what do you think of Will and Jennie?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Do you think they'll end up getting married? They're so cute together."  
  
"They are cute together. She makes him really happy."  
  
"I like her."  
  
"Me too," Sydney nodded.   
  
"Are you and the baby's Father going to get married?"   
  
"What? Francie, I told you about the company policy - "  
  
"I know, but I mean eventually all things end, even *your* job," she teased as she got herself another piece of pizza. "Or he'll leave whatever he does. Then you two will get married, right? You're already having a child together."  
  
"I don't know," she realized softly. Thinking that far ahead had always been a dangerous prospect in her type of work. Instead she was an expert on the here and now, and in the here and now they were as together as they could be, she lov . . . She abruptly stopped that train of thought. If she didn't think it, she couldn't say it and she could maintain some semblance of professionalism.  
  
"Not a big wedding or anything Syd, not a white dress or big bands. Just rings and vows," she suggested. "You don't have to, you're going to be a great Mom and we're all going to help you . . I don't know, I'm sorry, I guess I was wrong." She shrugged as she sat back against the sofa.  
  
"No Francie, what is it?"  
  
"The way you talk about him . . You won't even tell us his name, but when he comes up you get this twinkle in your eye. It's really sweet, that's all."  
  
"We really haven't talked about it . . "  
  
"You two are having a child together, that already makes you a family." Francie reminded her. "Not that you can't be a family without a Father - " she started to backpedal, not wanting to hurt her friend's feelings.  
  
"I understand," she halted her with a smile.  
  
"Are you sure you don't want a baby shower? We can invite some of your friends from work and have it at the restaurant . ." She eagerly suggested. Sydney had to contain herself from snorting her nose at the thought of friends from work.   
  
"Francie, I appreciate that you want to help, but with work . . By the end of the day I'm so tired, I just want to crash here and hang out with you guys." She smiled.  
  
"At least you look good."  
  
"Very funny."  
  
"No, you look nice. You're starting to glow again."  
  
"That's because my nauseas back," she muttered as Francie laughed.  
  
"Well, at least it's almost over. Who do you think the baby will look like?"  
  
"I don't know," she shrugged. "I look mostly like my Mom, so maybe the baby will take after me."  
  
"I hope it's a girl."  
  
"You just want tickets to see Kobe."  
  
"Yeah . ." Francie grinned. "Girls are more fun though, you can dress them up and make them look all cute. Boys you can't as much."  
  
"Boys are harder to potty trained," she realized. Francie looked at her in confusion. "Think about it, it's a two step process. First they have to learn how to go sitting down, and then you have to teach them how to do it standing up."  
  
"Complicated," she agreed. "I still hope that when Charlie and I have a baby, it's a girl. He wants a boy, you know, the whole carry on the last name thing," she shrugged. "Do you even know how to change a diaper?"  
  
Sydney laughed, "yes. I used to baby-sit when I was younger, I have some idea."  
  
The phone rang and Francie grabbed it before Sydney could even respond. Seconds later, her friend hung the phone up with a regretful sigh. "That's Charlie. I should be going, we have to finish the schedules for next weeks staff."   
  
"That's fine. Thanks for coming," she smiled as she stood. They hugged and Francie slipped into her coat.  
  
"Get some rest, okay Syd?"  
  
"I will." She nodded.  
  
"Promise?"  
  
"Promise." She agreed.  
  
Sydney met with Vaughn Friday night. He had paged her during her childbirth classes, and once her Father had dropped her off she left the house again to meet him. His page had requested her presence on the top floor of an abandoned parking garage where they had met before. After determining that she wasn't being followed, she drove there and parked her car next to his.  
  
"How did Dixon's reconnaissance mission go?" He asked as he took a seat on the hood of her car. Sydney plopped down next to him, slightly bouncing off of him as she shrugged.  
  
"It was fine. I have to go to the video store before I go home," she said as he sent her a confused look. "I'm going to rent 'The Best of Friends' - I need to laugh." She sighed.   
  
"You don't appreciate my non-humorous attempts to make you laugh?" He teased, his intended target reached when she grinned at him.  
  
"They make me laugh but that doesn't mean they're funny." She shot back as he rolled his eyes. Once he was able to pull his eyes way from her, he grew serious.  
  
"Monday morning we're going into Tokyo."   
  
"Good," she nodded. "Sloane's growing more and more paranoid."  
  
"They all are. Rumor has it that the Alliance is planning a meeting in London next Friday. Sloane hasn't mentioned anything to your Father, but there's a possibility that they've grown so paranoid that not even all of the Alliance leaders are being summoned to the meetings."  
  
"If they didn't invite him, wouldn't that mean they don't trust him?"  
  
"Possibly. There's a chance that they believe one of their own is selling them out to the 'unknown organization' tearing them down." He reminded her. "Oh," he remembered as he climbed off of her car and to his own. "I got you something," he told her, handing her a nondescript looking gift bag. Climbing back onto the car, he motioned for her to open it. "Just don't tell Weiss, he thinks it's for my soon to be born nephew."  
  
For a brief second she looked at him in confusion until she pulled out a tiny L.A. Kings onesie, probably small enough to fit a baby in the first few months of life. "I hope it's big enough. I remembered with Maya I had to buy big, so that's a 6 to 9 month, which means it'll probably fit the baby as a newborn," he joked as she laughed.  
  
"Thank you, this is wonderful."  
  
"So," he clapped his hands together. "How was your class tonight?"  
  
"Good. It's hard to believe, one of the girls in my class is already thirty-seven weeks. Everything is happening so fast," she explained as she carefully folded the onesie and put it back in the bag. "Francie, Jennie and I are going shopping this weekend."  
  
"Again?"  
  
"Yeah," she smirked. "Francie decided that I should start buying diapers. I still need some other things too. A mobile, a diaper pail, pacifiers . . . Charlie keeps reminding us not to buy too fast, but at the same time I'm afraid the baby will come and I won't have everything."   
  
"What does your Dad say?"  
  
"That I'm doing fine. He just keeps saying that I'm doing fine," she sighed.   
  
"You are Syd, you're doing great," he agreed. "Worse that happens is you have time left over to sit around the house and think."  
  
Sydney laughed and looked at him, "do you realize how dangerous it can be to leave me bored and thinking?"  
  
He grinned and shrugged. "That's just a chance we're going to have to take."  
  
"Katherine." She suggested as he looked at her and shook his head.  
  
"Katie's far too common." He responded. "Courtney."   
  
"No, I've hated anyone I've ever met named Courtney, which considering I went to a boarding school is a lot of girls." She reminded him as she bounced her shoulder off of his. "Jacob."  
  
"Too common." He sighed before he shot back. "Brandon."  
  
"Christopher."  
  
"Hey, that's my middle name," he stopped their game to meet her eyes.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Really," he nodded. "Suzanne."  
  
"Suzie, cute," she agreed. "Felicity."  
  
"Good TV show, bad name."   
  
"You liked Felicity?" She questioned, surprised he would like such a show. "Do you realize that they're showing that in reruns on the Women's Entertainment channel now?" She teased.  
  
"It wasn't too bad," he shrugged. "Keri Russell was cute . . Plus, I *did* date Alice for a long time, she loved that show."  
  
"Danny used to make me watch Chicago Hope," she laughed at the memory. "I hated it, ER was so much better but he said it was nothing like a real emergency room and didn't let me watch it."  
  
"We've only been involved with TV tyrants, huh?" He joked.   
  
"Are you a TV tyrant?" She teased.  
  
"Only with the Kings and the Mets."  
  
"The *Mets*?" She asked in surprise.   
  
"Yeah, they're awesome!"  
  
"Vaughn, they're *horrible*!"   
  
"What baseball teams do you like?" He challenged.  
  
"The Yankees."  
  
"The *Yankees*?" His eyes rolled. "That's so typical Syd! Why do you like them? Let me guess, some boy you liked back in high school was interested in them?"  
  
"No, I just like them. My nanny went undergrad at Yale and lived on Long Island growing up so she was a Yankees fan."  
  
"After Yale she was a Nanny?"  
  
Sydney shrugged. "Mandy was a part time graduate student at UCLA," she remembered and then smiled. "That's pretty familiar, huh? Maybe I should have become a nanny instead."  
  
Vaughn smiled at the image. Suddenly, her beeper went off. "It's Francie from my house. I should go," she realized as he helped her off of the hood of the car. "Thank you for the onesie."  
  
"Your welcome," he smiled. They exchanged a glance before she got into her car and drove out of his sight.  
  
  
  
  
Monday morning was a disaster at SD-6. From the second she walked through the door she was warned in quiet whispers not to go near Sloane's office unless absolutely necessary. The destruction of SD-8 in Tokyo and the capture of its leader, Ronald Llanview, had sent him into a blind rage. The anger had been deeply etched in his face as he sat in the conference room, so infuriated that he had Jack run the debriefing while he listened. Eventually he even yelled at Marshall, causing the friendly tech wizard to nearly jump out of his skin. Sydney and Dixon had even been visibly shaken, all three of them relieved to be out of his office as Dixon excused himself to go pack. He had a flight to catch in two hours, the reconnaissance mission that was now becoming nearly procedure.  
  
Her job at SD-6, which was once dangerous and exciting, was now humdrum and boring. Things were becoming so slow for her that Sloane even suggested she could start reorganizing his filing system for them later in the week, if she was interested. Judging by the look her Father gave her, it was apparent that she *would* be interested. Complete access to Sloane's personal filing cabinet had the potential to give her highly classified information. It was too much of a chance to turn down.  
  
She started Thursday, and was already bored again by Friday. So far she had only come across things she already knew, things that would serve no purpose to the CIA. The highlight of her week was still Friday afternoon, when Sloane left on a 'business trip' to London, which her Father explained was truly a meeting of the Alliance branches. In a big break for the CIA, her Father was asked to accompany him, under the guise of representing the branches that the Alliance was hoping to restore.  
  
"All I want," Sydney said as she took a bite of her ice cream sundae. "All I really want is to burn the place while he's away. That's not too discreet though, is it?" She laughed.   
  
Even though Vaughn sat behind her and out of her eyesight, she knew he laughed. They were sitting Saturday night in an empty ice cream parlor half a block from the pier and near Francie's restaurant. Vaughn had agreed to arrange for the parlor to be safe from wandering eyes, and just as she did with the beach, she refrained from asking questions. The how didn't matter, all that mattered was that this time had been given to them.  
  
"I'm pretty sure that would blow your cover," he joked.  
  
"I'm not even sure I care anymore. Even now, going through his files, it seems so pointless. Not that I haven't done a lot to help this," she added, not wanting him to think that she felt low on herself again. "I can't go on missions and even the paperwork I'm doing is just . . You know, it's just stupid." She sighed in frustration. "Next Friday's my last childbirth class. This week we watched a video of a c-section."  
  
"Oh," he said, taking a bite of his own ice cream.  
  
"It was a lot bloodier then I thought it would be. Nancy reminded is *again* that Our Lady of Mercy has a low c-section rate."   
  
"Your Father already explained that -" He started in a low voice.  
  
"I know, watching the video is just a formality for me. I'm having this baby naturally, even if it kills me." She muttered then snorted. "Sloane would just love it if it killed me."  
  
"Our Lady of Mercy also has an extremely low maternal and infant morality rate." He whispered. Quickly she glanced at him over her shoulder, wondering how he learned that. Somehow, as always, he understood her silent question. "I've been doing some background checking of my own. On your doctor, any nurses that might be on duty when you give birth, any anesthesiologists, anything," he shrugged. "It's my job." He reminded her. "Your Father's wearing a comlink into the Alliance meeting."   
  
"Isn't that dangerous?"  
  
"It shouldn't be. They don't check for devices as standard procedure, especially not on someone as highly thought of as your Father." He explained. "That way we'll learn everything that's shared at the meeting."  
  
"What do you expect to find out?"  
  
"Honestly, not that much. The only Intel we expect them to be sharing is ways to preserve the Alliance. Either way we'll be listening, just in case anything substantial is passed along."  
  
"Good." She smiled. It was good news, probably some of the best news she had heard all week. Then again, at that stage a simple full night of sleep was enough to send her to the moon and back. "So, who's next?"  
  
"Berlin."   
  
"SD-7," she muttered, wiping whipped cream off the tip of her nose. "Do you think they have any idea?"  
  
"None," he shook his head. "I have to go to my Mother's tomorrow afternoon," he sighed in regret.  
  
"What for?"  
  
"Charlotte's baby shower."   
  
Sydney unsuccessfully held back a laugh as she took another bite of her ice cream. "You're going to a *baby shower*? I thought they were female only."  
  
"Not this one. One of my Mother's friends from work, she used to baby-sit for us, and she's throwing Charlotte a *coed* baby shower. The only positive is that Patrick wants to go even less then I do."  
  
"Is it going to be one of those baby showers with pink crepe paper and guess the weight games?"   
  
"I hope not," he rolled his eyes. "Especially since they're having a boy, crepe paper might offend him."  
  
"Vaughn, he can't *see* the baby shower." She whispered.  
  
"Yeah, but I can." He reminded her as she laughed. "What am I supposed to bring my own sister for a baby shower?"   
  
"A tried but true classic," she suggested.  
  
"Yeah, what's that?"  
  
"Diapers?" She guessed as they shared a laugh.   
  
"You're still not having a shower, right?"  
  
"Right. I had enough pink crepe paper at my prom." She remembered as he smirked.  
  
"Syd, did you wear a pink dress to prom?" He teased.  
  
"Yes," she said with a barely contained laugh. "It was a *gown* and I still think it was very pretty."   
  
"Did you go with Mr. Hockey *Roger*?" He playfully bantered.  
  
"No, I went with a boy named Sam. After high school he went to Yale, studied English Lit and played baseball. I guess he was kind of a nerd, but so I was I," she shrugged.  
  
"I don't believe that, there's no way you were a nerd."  
  
"I was!" She insisted, wanting to turn around and look at him but knowing she couldn't. "Puberty really didn't hit until high school, boys were a mystery and my Father wasn't exactly around to talk to. Mandy had already returned to Yale to get her doctorate so I couldn't even talk to *her* . . . Sam and I both loved to read, he was so sweet . . . I was so happy when he asked me." She smiled at the memory.  
  
"Your nanny went back for her doctorate?" He asked in disbelief.  
  
"Yeah . .I Think she was the daughter of one of my Father's business associates, that's mostly how she got the job. Either way, I loved her, she was there to talk to and listen when my Father wasn't . . Which was most of the time," she remembered regretfully.  
  
"Do you ever hear from her anymore?"  
  
"Sometimes. Christmas and birthday cards, e-mails. She's living in Maine, working on a book and engaged."   
  
"That's good."  
  
"Yeah, it is." She agreed. Looking down at her glass sundae holder, she realized it was empty. There was no more legitimate reason for her to sit here. "I have to go," she explained as she started to gather up her belongings.   
  
"If you need anything, you'll contact me?" He asked softly.  
  
"Yep," she nodded in agreement, slipping on her coat. As she stood, she dared to pay him a longing glance over her shoulder before she walked out of the parlor into the March rain.  
  
Sydney had an early morning doctor's appointment that Monday morning. The rain still continued to fall over Los Angeles, slapping against the roof of the doctor's office as she sat waiting. Even though she was used to being the only solo mother in the waiting room, the farther along she became the lonelier she felt as she sat there. Hiding her loneliness behind parenting magazines and watching the youngest infants in their Mother's arms as the new Mothers waited their own doctor's appointment.  
  
Nothing in the appointment came as a surprise. She was progressing well for thirty-four weeks, measuring at about the right size as well. Her weight gain was nothing astronomical, although her body was often achy by the midday. The doctor suggested that she finish the nursery for good, since if her baby decided to make it's arrival within the next couple of days it would have a very good chance of being healthy. Not that she expected the baby to come soon, her doctor had quickly added, but anything *was* possible. Afterwards she also advised Sydney to continue working on her breathing exercises and to pay attention to her body, basically no overdoing it.  
  
Wednesday night the rain finally let up and the roads started to dry. All of the grass, which had started to turn brown and die, was instantly brought to life. The next morning Sydney decided to go in late to work, putting on her headphones as she started to walk through the park. She reasoned that she didn't have much to do at SD-6 anyway. Her Father was handling anything crucial. At thirty-four weeks pregnant she was close to being put out of commission, and had been surprised when her doctor had allowed her to return to work.   
  
The truth was she wasn't even sure if she wanted to be at SD-6 anymore. She knew there was a possibility that if she left she would never walk in again, although she was still determined to be there at the take down. What was there for her to do now that she was no longer an operative? Fill out paperwork and laugh at Marshall's sweet attempts to amuse her? Everything in her life was now a waiting game. Waiting to hear about the latest take down, waiting to go into labor, waiting to give birth, waiting for the Alliance to come crashing down and the rest of her life to begin. She had never considered that starting a new chapter of her life would require so much waiting before hand.  
  
Once she returned to her home from her brisk walk she felt slightly more pumped up. Much to her despair, she walked into SD-6 full of energy and was sent away to work on computer files. Sitting at the computer, her fingers typed away, she found herself working on the various exercises they had taught her in childbirth class. Although she was alone in the room, she forced herself to hide to smile on her face at how ridiculous it seemed. Better now then never, she reasoned as she printed out her latest assignment.   
  
That Friday her Father took her out to dinner after class to celebrate. They had grown closer over the eight-week class. Once in a while, her Father would even smile at her. Over dinner they spoke about the nursery, the class - including the graphic video of a birth that had been shown that evening - how her friends were doing, even about the Lakers and the Kings. Jack thought Will and Francie's bet was quite humorous, and refused to cave into Sydney's pleas to know the gender. His daughter had survived thirty-four weeks without knowing, she could certainly survive the last six.  
  
By Sunday night, the nursery was completely done. The five friends stood in the doorway, admiring their hard work. "This place is really beautiful," Jennie said.  
  
"It really is," Sydney agreed with a smile. Everything was together, the curtains were hung, the mobile was hanging over the crib, and the diaper genie was well settled next to the changing table. Will had moved the swing into the closet for Sydney to decide what to do with once the baby was born. The black antique pram, which her Father had kept in storage, was waiting to be used in the same closet. There was a hamper by the closet and a plastic baby bathtub resting the closet.  
  
"There's still so much to buy though," Francie reminded them with a sigh. Sydney nodded, knowing her best friend had a reason. They still needed blankets, pacifiers, bottles and baby clothes. The car seat they had bought still needed to be installed and she still needed to pack a diaper bag and her hospital bag.   
  
"There's still time Syd. There's enough to do to keep you from going out of your mind," Charlie warmly offered.  
  
"I hope so," she quietly agreed. Briefly her thoughts turned to Vaughn and Charlotte's baby shower, wondering how that had gone. They all turned around and she gently shut the door, leaving the nursery in peace while it was still available. Soon enough a newborn would inhabit that room and all pretense of quiet would be lost. "I have to go see my doctor again on Wednesday," she sighed as she sat down on the sofa.  
  
"Why? Is everything okay Syd?" Francie asked, concern plainly written on her features.  
  
"Everything's fine," she shrugged. "This week I'll be thirty five weeks along, from now on she wants to see me on a weekly basis to check my prognosis."  
  
"Maybe the doctor will talk some sense into you and you'll leave work." Will muttered as Sydney sent him a glare. Although part of her wanted to leave work, the other part knew she'd feel completely helpless if she weren't even in the building. Plus, debating work with her friends was a can of worms she would just assume avoid.  
  
"I want to stay there as long as I can. What am I going to do when I leave work, sit around here and go out of my mind?"   
  
"You could come down to the restaurant, I'll keep you company. Free food," Francie suggested as Sydney smiled.   
  
"Let's just see what the doctor says, okay? Let's go shopping next weekend too, okay?"  
"We'll start getting things together to pack your labor bag too." Francie eagerly proposed as she nodded.  
  
"Okay, we'll do that next weekend," she agreed, smiling at the thought. Normal time with her friends, what else could she ask for?  
  
  
  
  
Before she could savor the normal time with her friends, the reality of the life she lived kicked back into gear. Late Tuesday night she was beeped into SD-6. Sloane had paged them all into a late night meeting to inform them that yet another of their 'allies' in Berlin had collapsed. This time they had put up a fight, and crossfire ensued. Sydney found her heart contracting briefly when Sloane triumphantly told them that some of the 'enemy' had been shot. Dixon had to leave immediately for a flight to Berlin on a mission to reclaim one item - to claim a CD labeled 'Family Tree'. Other then that, they were dismissed.  
  
"No agents were fatally wounded in the raid in Berlin," her Father explained as they sat in the warehouse alone late Wednesday evening.   
  
"Good."  
  
"There was one agent critically wounded, but now he's expected to make a full recovery."  
  
"What's this 'Family Tree' disk that Sloane's so insistent on having returned?"  
  
"The CIA confiscated it with the remainder of SD-7's files and CD's. They had to bring in Tech to make the file run. Linguistics is just starting to decode it, but it appears to be the Alliance family tree, dating back to the very start of the Alliance."  
  
"Sloane didn't already tell you what was on the disk?" She questioned, obviously surprised.  
  
"He didn't know."  
  
"So they're keeping secrets from one another.  
  
"Yes, apparently more secrets then Arvin originally suspected." Jack said blankly. "You had another appointment with Dr. Knight today?"  
  
"Yeah. Everything's fine. Just a regular check up. One a week now that I'm so close," she shrugged. "This morning I actually thought the baby might be on it's way." She remembered, laughing softly at herself.  
  
"Is everything okay then?"  
  
"Yeah," she shrugged. "The baby's dropped, so the baby's lower and more in position for me to give birth, which means the baby's farther from my lungs and my ribs. Plus, I've had a couple of Braxton Hicks," she explained.  
  
"Braxton Hicks?" Jack questioned, an eyebrow slightly raised. Throughout all of his training, he wasn't sure of what those were. The term sounded familiar, but he couldn't be entirely sure. Given the circumstance, he would rather ask and be certain then remain in the dark.  
  
"They're when my stomach contracts a little. They don't hurt, not really, it's just my body starting to get ready for labor," she shrugged. "I'll be fine Dad. I remember what Nancy told us, it's not really labor until the pain is so bad that you can't talk through it."  
  
"Perhaps you should begin your maternity leave, you need your rest -"  
  
"Dad, I'm fine." She cut him off. "Really, I am feeling fine. I'm sure that Dr. Knight will tell me when it's time to call it quits. I feel well enough to come in and sit at a desk a few hours a day. Sitting in a debriefing makes me more useful as opposed to just sitting in my apartment all day."   
  
"It's your decision," he agreed, albeit hesitantly. While he didn't dare bring it up, he remembered Laura leaving work around Valentines Day of 1974, and Sydney wasn't born until April 17th. As much as he worried, he knew better then to oppose her choices too loudly. Jack had complete confidence in his daughter's ability to be a wonderful Mother, and he didn't want her to question that if he began to question what she decided.  
  
Sydney smiled at him, hoping to ease his fears as she finished eating.  
  
  
  
**Sydney felt surprisingly light as air as she walked through the doors of SD-6. What instantly alarmed her, however, was the eerie silence her ears met. There wasn't a single person in sight, no one was at his or her desks, and not even a phone was ringing. She continued to walk through the offices, searching for one of her coworkers. Eventually she walked towards Sloane's office and opened the door.  
  
Her heart skipped a beat and dropped to her stomach when she walked in. Sitting on one side of the room was Vaughn, holding a yellow bundle close to him.  
  
The baby, her heart realized as she swallowed hard. Looking on the other side of the room, she was met with Sloane's disgusting smirk as he held a gun in the direction of Vaughn and the baby. "Sydney, I told you that certain sacrifices are necessary to preserve the agency. You wouldn't want to ruin the agency, would you Sydney?" Sloane asked her, his finger waiting on the trigger.  
  
"Please, please don't do this - "  
  
"I have no choice Sydney. The agency *must* be preserved at all costs. You've known that all along, and you've made foolish decisions. Now, you have to pay for them."  
  
Before she could react, the gun went off, whizzing in the direction of her family - **  
  
"NO!" Sydney screamed as she sat up in bed. Her heart was racing and she felt her face covered in a stream of tears she must have cried in her sleep. Looking down at herself she was reassured to see that she was still safely pregnant. All it had been was a nightmare.   
  
Lying back on the bed, she rested her hands on her stomach and forced her heart to calm down. Everything was okay, she was fine, the baby was fine, and Vaughn was -   
  
Was Vaughn fine? She wondered as she sat back up. Given her current situation, it wasn't as though she could just look over on the other side of the bed and find out. Without thought, she reached over and picked up the phone, dialing the number she knew by heart.  
  
Fifteen minutes later she was walking into the warehouse. The dream had been so vivid that she just left the house after she called him, not even bothering to wash her face, just putting on her slippers. What was the point, her feet were sore and she just spent the car ride crying. The dream was the embodiment of all her greatest fears. When she stepped inside the warehouse, she met his eyes, not even speaking.  
  
Vaughn's eyes shone with concern as she approached him. She had obviously been crying recently, and whatever had upset her was so traumatic that she hadn't bothered to change into clothes. Walking over to him, she let out a sigh of relief as she neared, resting her forehead against his shoulder for support. Having her there in, basically in his arms, without knowing what had been the source of her pain and grief. Whatever it was had to be substantial enough for her to call him in to a meeting at two in the morning, especially since she needed her sleep even more then he did. Regardless of her reasons, he did the only thing he could think of and wrapped his arms around her, resting his hands on her lower back as he attempted to massage it.  
  
"I didn't call you for a late night back massage," she laughed as she looked up into his eyes. "I had another nightmare," she conceded.  
  
"*Another*?" He asked. He had known she wasn't sleeping well at night, but he hadn't known that she was having nightmares as well.  
  
"You were at SD-6," she started to explain, pulling back so she could explain. "The office was empty, until I got to Sloane's office. Then I saw you holding the baby, sitting across the room from Sloane," she remembered with a sigh. "It was horrible."  
  
"It was just a dream," he gently reminded her as his hands worked magic on her sore back. "The baby's fine, your fine, I'm fine. Everyone's fine," he softly reassured her.   
  
"What if we don't stay that way?" She proposed. "What if Sloane - "  
  
"Nothing's going to happen to any of us." He insisted, his eyebrow raising slightly as he made the promise. "Your Father and I would not let that happen."  
  
"Okay," she sighed, resting her head against his shoulder one more time, soaking in all the warm comfort she could.   
  
"It's almost over," he reminded her.  
  
"Right, it's almost over." She echoed as he dared to plant a brief kiss on her head.   
  
How April managed to arrive so quickly the following Thursday was a mystery to Sydney. For her it seemed like just yesterday she was sitting at Francie and Charlie's anniversary party, having just learned she was pregnant. That was eight months ago, and her baby would be there within a few days. She got a message on her machine the morning of Friday the 2nd that two girls in her childbirth class had already had their babies, both boys. Soon enough, she reminded herself, and SD-6 and her pregnancy would both be over.  
  
"I can't believe your doctor is still letting you work," Francie said in disbelief. It was the first Friday of the April, and with the message on her machine that morning telling her two of her childbirth classmates had given birth, Sydney realized there was so much to do. Since Sloane had given her and Dixon a half a day, she had met Francie back at the house and they were starting to pack her hospital bag and the diaper bag.  
  
"I go back next Friday Francie, she'll probably make me stop then. I'll be thirty seven weeks by then."  
  
"I can't believe that on Monday you'll be thirty seven weeks pregnant and the baby could come at any time."  
  
"It is unbelievable," she smiled in agreement.   
  
"Let's see," Francie sat down on the bed and looked at her list. If a person could ever be a pregnancy coordinator, her best friend would be perfect for the job. If it was important to the pregnancy or Sydney's health, there was a good chance Francie had a list ready to go over or an article in tow to share with you. Now if only she had been more organized with her wedding, Sydney remembered with a smile. "Do you have a nightgown, robe and slippers?"  
  
"Yep, the most comfortable ones I own," Sydney nodded, placing the mentioned items into her duffel.  
  
"Favorite pillow?"  
  
"I'll grab it before I go, I still need it on the bed to sleep with," she explained as her friend nodded.  
  
"Okay. Music for labor?"  
  
"Check," she said, slipping the mixed CD Will had made for her into the side compartment.   
  
"Crackers and raisins for post-labor snacking?"  
  
"They're in the kitchen, don't want them to go bad in my bag."  
  
"Understandable," her friend nodded. "Toiletries?"  
  
"Got them," she agreed.  
  
"Something comfortable for you to go home in?"  
  
"My Bruin's sweatpants, t-shirt and sweatshirt included so I'm prepared for any weather," Sydney beamed proudly as Francie laughed.  
  
"Good, it's April, you never know what the weather will be like." She commented as she checked it off of her list. "Okay, an outfit, cap and blanket for the baby?"  
  
"All set," she nodded as she zipped up the duffel and placed it in the corner of her bedroom. "We'll do the diaper bag in a second, okay? I just need to rest my bag for a second," she explained as she sat down. Sydney allowed her eyes to shut for a second as she breathed through the Braxton-Hicks contractions. They certainly didn't cause the pain she expected real contractions too, but they were annoying.  
  
Suddenly, her beeper went off as Francie sighed. Sydney picked it up and made a face. "I have to go Francie, it's the bank 9-1-1."  
  
"Okay," Francie agreed, helping her friend off the bed. "Call me later, okay? We can work on the diaper bag tomorrow then okay?"  
  
"That'd be great," she smiled and hugged her friend. Grabbing her keys and her coat, she waddled as quickly as she could out of the bedroom.  
  
Dixon was also in the conference room when Sydney walked in, looking just as perplexed as she felt. Marshall sat across the table, smiling nervously at them. Due to his bubbly, sweet personality, he had been taking the brunt of Sloane's recent outbursts. Seconds later, when her Father and Sloane walked in, both with somber expressions, she knew instantly what had occurred.  
  
Sloane grabbed the remote, flipping on the monitor and sitting. Jack remained standing and began to speak. "This evening our offices in Paris were invaded and dissembled. Paris is where we kept our formulas for several deadly viruses as well as the antidotes." He explained, sliding a black folder across the table to Dixon. "You leave tonight. Your mission is to reclaim the formulas. They're all on a disk kept in a vault on the 2nd sublevel. Marshall I trust you can brief Mr. Dixon on the necessary technology in your office."  
  
"Yes, sir," Marshall nodded, quickly standing, happy to be out of the hostile environment. Dixon glanced at his partner briefly before walking out of the room.  
  
"Sydney," Sloane said, turning his eyes towards her for the first time during the meeting. "As one of SD-6's best field operatives, I trust that once you return from your maternity leave you'll be eager to help us take down whatever bastards are doing this to us."  
  
"Of course," she said solemnly with a nod.  
  
"Emily's been asking about you, how are you feeling?"   
  
"Fine," she forced a smile.  
  
"Good," he smiled. The image of the same disgusting smile from her dream sent shivers of disgust down her spine. "I trust you'll take it easy. Take the rest of the day off," he suggested as she stood. "Sydney?" He called, as she was halfway to the door.  
  
"Yes?" She asked, turning around to look at him.  
  
"Don't worry, I promise we'll get whatever bastards are doing this to us."  
  
Sydney forced another smile and nod as she walked out of the room.  
  
"The three cells left are the three most profitable and successful cells in all of the Alliance," her Father explained to them as she sat in the warehouse that evening with Vaughn."SD-6 is by far the strongest cell, although Arvin's power at the table has been waning for quite some time. The cell that the CIA intends to target next is in New York, SD-5. They won't be raiding that cell until later in the month. After New York they'll be heading to London, but that won't be until sometime next month."  
  
"Sloane doesn't have any idea who it is?" Sydney asked as her Father shook his head.  
"The newest theory is that it's various former members of K-Directorate and other Alliance enemies who have created their own organization and are strategically dissembling the Alliance."  
  
"He doesn't suspect me of anything though?"  
  
"No, actually today he was talking about how lucky we were to have such a reliable, trust worthy agent such as you at SD-6." Jack offered as his daughter held back a snort.   
  
"Using the clock you gave Sloane for Christmas we were able to pick up the information on where the formulas were in Paris and plant a similar copy for Dixon to find." Vaughn explained.  
  
"I'm meeting with Sloane for a budget meeting in an hour," Jack explained as he grabbed his briefcase. "I'll see you at work?" He asked his daughter, who nodded. Offering Vaughn a nod of the head, he turned and walked out of the warehouse.  
  
"How was the baby shower?" She asked, realizing she had never asked him.  
  
"Fine," he shrugged. "Lots of crepe paper." He smirked.  
  
"Pink?"  
  
"No, yellow." He corrected as she laughed. "Diapers were a big hit."  
  
"Good," she smiled and nodded. "Francie was helping me pack my bag this morning when I got called into work. I promised I'd have dinner with her at the restaurant to make up for it, so I better go."  
  
"Okay," he nodded in understanding. They shared a smile one more time before Sydney slowly stood up and waddled out of the warehouse.  
  
The following Friday, April 9th. Francie called her early in the morning to ask if she wanted someone to go to the doctors with her, and to remind her that there was only sixteen days until her due date - then again, she thought wryly as she dressed, who's counting? Everything in her body ached as she slipped on her shoes, praying that they were a matching pair. Those days she couldn't even see her feet, and she wasn't even sure she wanted to. Most night she had them soaking, attempting to bring the swelling down. They were so swollen that she had had to buy new shoes half a size bigger then her regular shoes and in a wide size.  
  
Sydney's doctor's appointment wasn't until the early afternoon. Going in to SD-6 at least kept her mind busy, she mused. Sloane loved to pick her brain, asking her opinion on security procedures and various other things. He was surprisingly pleasant to her in those days, always asking how she was doing and telling her how Emily was doing. He had even insisted that as soon as the baby arrived, he and Emily would come in to see him or her, since Emily was just bubbling with excitement. Try as she might, she couldn't shake his mind of that notion. Luckily her Father would be there in the hospital, and Sydney *did* want Emily to be able to meet her child. Hopefully, by the time this was all done, she could still keep Emily in her life in some way.   
  
Kicking her feet back and forth, Sydney sat on the doctor's table anxiously waiting for her to come in. She had arrived nearly a half hour ago, had given her necessary samples and was now waiting. At least in the exam room she wasn't forced to see all the young, happy couples preparing for their own arrival. While she realized that she no longer classified as a super spy, she was still very much a solo Mommy.  
  
"Thirty seven weeks already, Sydney, amazing, isn't it?" The doctor smiled at her as she walked in. Grabbing her chair, she sat down facing her patient.  
  
"It's gone by awful quickly." She agreed. The quickest and yet longest thirty-seven weeks of her life, but she suspected every Mother felt that way, even if they weren't working to tear down an internationally dangerous organization in their spare time.  
  
"You've only gained eighteen pounds, you should be proud of yourself," she smiled as Sydney nodded. "You're already fully engaged . . . How've you been feeling?"  
  
"Fine," she shrugged. "My back hurts and my feet are swollen. My Braxton Hicks seem to be more regularly . . . Just tired." She confessed.  
  
"Sydney, I'd like you to stop working today." She said as Sydney sighed. "I know that you've been insistent that you wanted to keep working, but I feel that right now it's in the best interest of both you and your baby to rest. I'd also suggest you make sure your car seat is installed in the car, because it could be any day now," she smiled.  
  
"So no more work." She said softly.  
  
"No more work," the doctor agreed. "I've already contacted Sloane and he knows you won't be returning today or Monday. You need your rest Sydney, your baby's just waiting for the moment to strike and then he or she will be here."  
  
"Thank you doctor," she smiled as she stepped off of the table.  
  
"I'd like to see you next Friday. Remember what we talked about, if you start having pain and it gets to be too much, just head over to the hospital and I'll meet you there."  
  
Sydney smiled and nodded, relieved to be alone to change.  
  
Later that night Sydney found herself in the warehouse for what she suspected could be one of the last times. Certainly the last time before she had her baby. There was no place comfortable to sit, and as much as she hated to admit it, now that she was officially out of work there was no legitimate reasons for her to meet with Vaughn. He walked into the warehouse, still in his suit, looking purely professional.  
  
"I'm out." She said solemnly. His expression was one of confusion and worry before she continued. "The doctor doesn't want me to return to work anymore. This is it for me. " She shrugged. "I'm out."  
  
"You need your rest Syd, I have to agree with the doctor."   
  
"If anything happens with SD-6 -"  
  
"Both your Father and I will contact you if anything comes up." He promised. "You'll call me if something happens - "  
  
"Promise," she nodded with a smile.   
  
"So . . " He looked around, feeling suddenly awkward. What did he do now, what could he possibly say? There was no way to make this better, and he couldn't make her promises he couldn't keep. Things hadn't been this awkward between them since their meeting after their first romantic encounter. "Get some rest, okay?" He advised.  
  
"I will," she nodded. "I should go, I'm supposed to get pizza with Will and Jennie . ." She shrugged.   
  
"Take care," he called as she looked at him one more time before walking out of the warehouse, leaving his heart breaking in her path.  
  
That night when she told her friends she was out of work, there was a surprising cry of joy. They had all been advising her to leave for weeks, and now that she was forced to they were relieved. Much to her chagrin they were already making plans on who would be with Sydney during the day, since no one dared to leave her alone. Rolling her eyes, she dealt they money and reminded them to play the game. Taking her little blue husband a few moments after the game began, she quietly named him Michael and thought back to Vaughn.  
  
Saturday morning her friends were once again over. Will and Charlie spent nearly an hour installing the car seat, showing Sydney how to lift it out of the older so she could carry the baby in it. Afterwards Sydney put her hospital bag, pillow and the baby's diaper bag into the car, reasoning that it's better to be safe then sorry. Jennie made them pancakes and they sat around watching cartoons and debating baby names ("Pepper Ann?" Sydney asked, trying not to choke on her food. "Will, I'm *not* naming my baby after a redheaded preadolescent on a Disney morning cartoon, no matter how good the cartoon may be!"). Having them over made the day go by faster and made the cramps and aches that grew worse as the hours pass seem less important. They played Life and Jennie practiced her closing argument on her friends, nervous about having to present it Tuesday morning in court. Will told them all about his story in Texas as well as about his upcoming trip to Sacramento.   
  
"The new Brad Pitt movie is showing at the Cineplex at 9:30," Francie realized as they sat eating dinner. "Let's go see it!"  
  
"Brad Pitt, I'm there." Jennie agreed, taking another bite of her dinner.  
  
"Who else is in the movie?" Will asked.  
  
"Sandra Bullock," Jennie remembered.  
  
"Nah, anyone else?" Charlie asked, squinting his nose.  
  
"Halle Berry." Francie added.  
  
"We're there," Will and Charlie agreed in unison as Sydney laughed.  
  
"Syd, c'mon, you've got to come!" Francie insisted.   
  
"Fran, I don't know, I haven't been feeling too -"  
  
"It'll be fun! C'mon, one movie will be fun! It'll kill some time and it's *Brad Pitt*, life doesn't get much better then that!" Jennie insisted.   
  
"I'll buy you as much chocolate as you want Syd," Will gently promised.  
  
"Really?" Sydney asked, laughing at her own eagerness. "Okay, okay, I'll go."   
  
Francie drove Sydney's car and they left her house around quarter to nine. Her friends had been right, she felt better even just being out of the house with them. They debated the music, shared embarrassing stories and listened to half a dozen of Will and Charlie's lame jokes. Arriving at the theatre, they waited in a short line for popcorn, soda and Will bought Sydney the biggest Hershey bar the concession stand offered. Then shortly after nine they walked into the dimmed, nearly empty theatre, starting to walk down the aisle to find a seat. After insisting she'd take the aisle, Sydney waited for her friends to sit and then started to lower herself into her own chair.  
  
Seconds after she sat down she closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip. The stomach and back cramps that she had started with earlier in the day were now terrible pains. Her stomach felt tied up in knots and her back hurt so badly it burned. Deep down she wondered if this was the pain Nancy had spoken about. Closing her eyes, white stars burst in front of her eyes like a supernova from the pain.   
  
"Syd? Are you okay?" Will asked as she felt Francie's hand cover hers.   
  
"Syd, sweetie, what's wrong?" Francie asked. Inside her sneakers, Sydney felt her toes curl as she did the breathing exercises that she had been taught. Opening her eyes, she saw that her friends looked as panicked as she was beginning to feel.   
  
"Sydney, is it time?" Jennie asked. So focused on alleviating her own pain she couldn't speak, instead she nodded.   
  
"Okay, okay, it's time," Will jumped out of his seat so quickly he almost fell over his own feet.  
  
"Will!" Francie hissed. "C'mon Syd, you're going to be okay," she said gently, standing and then starting to help her friend. "Jennie, could you help -"  
  
"Got it," her friend nodded. Jennie and Francie walked on either side of her, helping her up the aisle as Will fumbled for his cell phone and started to dial Jack's phone number.  
  
"T-t-too soon?" Sydney asked in panic as Francie shook her head.  
  
"No Syd, you're thirty seven weeks, it's not too early, everything's going to be fine," she gently insisted.   
  
"P-p-promise?" She asked, knowing her best friend would never purposely lead her astray.  
  
"Your Dad will be there, we'll all be waiting, and everything's going to be great." Francie promised.  
  
"You're going to be a Mom Syd," Jennie sweetly reminded her. Sydney smiled, her eyes slipping shut once again at the pain as they continued to lead her out to the car. 


	8. Coming to Terms Chapter 8

Title: Coming to Terms (Chapter 8)  
Author: UConn Fan (Michele)  
E-Mail: LoveUConnBasketball@yahoo.com  
  
Authors Note:   
There's a scene in this story (and I'll give you a hint, Vaughn's in it and it's a SCENE not a SECTION) that is the ENTIRE reason I started writing this. This scene was thrown into my head after hearing Jennifer Garner & Scott Foley talking about making room to have a baby. If you think you know what the scene is, e-mail me and if you're right, I'll send you part of the opening scene/section of the sequel (I haven't finished THIS yet, but I'm just writing the sequel as it comes to me so I don't lose it). If you can't figure it out, don't worry, I figure it'll be out in 3-4 weeks at the latest, so no worries. I just thought it'd be fun to see if anyone could get it!  
  
This is getting tricky, because now an infant is involved and we've seen the title characters have very little contact with children, nevermind babies. So I'm taking a leap of faith here in characterization - tell me what you think.  
Also, before you get mad at my name choice, remember that late season 1/season 2 has NOT happened & instead remember what's happened in THIS story.   
I've never had a baby, the most I've ever seen is TLC's a baby story & I've read a couple of birthstories. If you've given birth and this is completely off, please don't kill me, I've done my best to remain true to the characters and the situation.   
The whole remainder of the story is most likely going to be shorter then Ch 7, but I think that this is the chapter everyone's been waiting for, so please excuse me if it seems short.   
  
DEDICATION: Meg, because she's faced the brunt of it; Thank you to ALL the name/gender suggestions - I didn't exactly take any name suggestions, but I still hope the name doesn't disappoint.   
  
DISCLAIMER: If it's recognizable, it's not mine. Technically, I suppose, I own Patrick, Maya, Charlotte, Jennie, Brigitte & the baby, but if you want to use them, go ahead, just let me know! Don't sue, this is just a complete labor of love.  
  
  
  
  
Jack had been to Our Lady of Mercy countless times as both a patient and as a visitor. That day, however, was the first day he came for the labor & delivery ward. After all, when Laura gave birth to Sydney - almost thirty years ago, he remembered with goose bumps - they were still living in West Virginia. Regardless, when he walked into the hospital he was relieved to see a secretary there although it was almost ten at night.  
  
"I'm here for Sydney Bristow, she's in labor."  
  
"Yes, Ms. Bristow as just admitted to the fifth floor. Take the elevator up and they'll direct you to her room."  
  
In the end, Jack didn't have to bother asking for directions. Instead his daughter's friends came into view seconds after he got off of the elevator. Francie, Charlie and Jennie sat anxiously in the hallway. Francie spotted him first, meeting him halfway. "Mr. Bristow, I'm so glad you're here. Will's in there with her, we didn't want to leave her alone."   
  
Jack nodded and thanked his daughter's friends before walking into the room. Sydney's eyes were closed and she was humming as Will sat holding her hand. When she opened her eyes and saw her Father, she smiled. "Sydney, how are you feeling?" He asked, stepping closer to the bed.  
  
"As well as could be expected," she smiled. "I'm five centimeters, so they want to keep me."  
  
"Syd, I think we're going to go get something from the cafeteria and we'll be just outside, okay?" Will suggested.  
  
"You guys don't have to stay -"  
  
"Like Francie's going to let us leave?" He reminded her as she laughed. "Mr. Bristow, it was good to see you again," he shook the elder mans hand. Standing, Will left the pair alone.  
  
Jack took off his coat and sat down, taking his daughters hand. Before she could speak, she started to hum again in obvious pain. Apparently her years of training to be a spy and manage pain was finally coming to use, he thought with meager amusement. "Thank you for being here Dad," she said as he nodded.  
  
"You're going to be fine Sydney." He reassured her.  
  
Not surprisingly, her friends spent the night sleeping in the chairs outside Sydney's room. Jack kept vigil over his daughter as Sydney lulled herself to sleep for a few hours. Her sleep was so sound that she didn't even awaken during the pelvic exams the doctors had performed throughout the night. Early the next morning, around five, she woke up, finally in too much pain to ignore.  
  
"They offered me an epidural earlier," she whispered to her Father, holding his hand as another contraction hit. "I turned them down."  
  
Jack nodded in understanding. His daughter would rather die from the pain then be injected with some unknown substance. While it was a hospital, it was an Alliance hospital and there was no such thing as too cautious. Eventually the doctor suggested going for a walk in the late morning. She was progressing but her water had yet to break. So Sydney looped her arm through her Father's and walked the hallway with him while her friends ate lunch in the cafeteria.  
  
"Do you remember going to Disneyland when you were smaller?" Jack asked.  
  
"We went to Disneyland?" She looked up in obvious surprise.  
  
"Yes. Right after we moved. You loved it." He smiled at one of his favorite memories. "Perhaps the three of us could go visit this summer." He suggested.  
  
Sydney smiled at how her Father was trying to be the Father he was when she was a little girl, and at his intentions to be a full-fledged grandfather. However, before she could respond she was hit by another contraction. Putting her hands on his shoulders, she leaned against him and hummed through the pain as he rubbed her lower back. Opening her eyes to look at him, she saw he was concerned. "That's the second contraction in three minutes Sydney, I think it's time to return to your room."  
  
"Okay," she nodded, holding on to his arm again as they walked the hallway back to her room.  
  
Another pelvic exam was performed upon her return to her room. At eight centimeters dilated, her bags had yet to break and she still needed to finish dilating. It was nearly early in the afternoon and Sydney was growing more and more exhausted. Jack excused himself to talk to the doctor in the hallway while Sydney closed her eyes. The contractions were worsening, growing more intense. She hummed as her body shook. Nausea ran rampant through her stomach, as her body seemed to convulse from pain. When she finally started to breathe again and opened her eyes, she found her bed was soaked.  
  
The doctor and her Father walked back in seconds later. "Ms. Bristow, I think your waters broken," the doctor observed as he neared her.  
  
"Don't touch me," she hissed as yet another convulsion shook her body. Gently taking her hand, her Father rubbed her back.   
  
"Sydney, the doctor needs to perform an exam to see if it's time to push," her Father gently warned her. After she finished humming, she nodded and laid back. A painful few seconds eclipsed as the doctor pulled back to look at her.  
  
"Your fully dilated Ms. Bristow. It's time to push."   
  
Moving to her left side, she started to push as her Father rubbed her back in encouragement. Eventually she grew sore and moved to sit up on the bed. After a particularly painful contraction, she stopped humming. "I can't do this anymore," she tearfully insisted.  
  
"Sydney, you are so close and you are doing wonderfully." Her Father encouraged her.   
  
"Just a few more pushes Ms. Bristow, you're so close." The doctor reassured her. Bottling her strength, she started to push down again, biting her lip as she felt the contractions start to burn. "Ms. Bristow you're crowning," he told her as her contractions briefly reprieved. "Reach down and touch the baby's head," he encouraged. Swallowing back her tears, Sydney used her free hand to reach down and touch the top of her baby's head.  
  
"There's hair," she told her Father tearfully.  
  
"Yes Ms. Bristow, lots of hair," he agreed. "Now I need a gentle push, not too hard or else your going to tear," he instructed. While she wanted to push with all of her might, she followed the doctor's instructions and gently bore down. "Good job Sydney, the head's out."  
  
Jack kept an eagles-eye on the doctor as he suctioned the baby's ears, mouth and nostrils. Then he checked for a cord around the neck, the elder Bristow instantly relieved when the doctor felt none. "Okay, we're going to do one shoulder at a time here Ms. Bristow." The doctor explained.  
  
Patiently, with less forceful pushes, Sydney pushed one shoulder at a time. After what seemed like an eternity, the most amazing sound in the world - a newborns cry - filled the room. The warm, screaming infant was instantly placed on her bare stomach as she looked down in awe. "Congratulations Ms. Bristow, you have a daughter."  
  
"It's a girl," Sydney tearfully echoed, touching her baby for the first time. "Oh, your so beautiful . . " She cooed as the nurse draped a towel over the baby and started to clean her. "She's perfect . . . Daddy, she's perfect," she looked at her Father, who nodded.   
  
"Mr. Bristow, would you like to cut the cord?" The nurse asked, having clamped the cord and handed Sydney's father the scissors. Carefully, Jack cut where indicated, finally freeing the baby from its Mother.  
  
"I'm going to go tell your friends." Jack suggested.  
  
"Okay," Sydney tearfully agreed. As her Father left the room, he heard the nurse showing Sydney how to breastfeed for the first time.  
  
  
  
  
Vaughn went to his Mother's house Sunday evening for dinner, just as he promised Brigitte he would do. After watching a Mets game with Pat, he and his brother in law sat down at the dining room table. Brigitte had prepared her son's favorite, chicken cordon bleu, and the family sat down to eat.  
  
"Who won the game?" Charlotte asked as she paced around the rice.  
  
"Mets, 5-1." Patrick smiled proudly. Looking at her brother, Charlotte was surprised to see her brother so despondent. Even the first Mets win of the season hadn't shaken him from the apparent slump he was in.   
  
"I'm glad your team won, but we're still not naming the baby after a Mets player." Charlotte insisted.  
  
"Look who's talking," Michael spoke up. "Who were you named after again?" He teased.  
  
"Charlotte is a wonderful literary heroine," Brigitte insisted. "You should be very proud to be named after her."  
  
"Mom, you named me after an animated spider!" Charlotte reminded her as they all laughed.   
  
Suddenly, the shrill ring of Michael's cell phone broke through their laughter.  
  
"Michel, I thought I asked you to turn that off," Brigitte asked disapprovingly in French.  
  
"Sorry Maman, it must be work," he apologized. Slipping into the kitchen, he answered. "Hello?"  
  
"So, I left my yo-yo at work on Friday and I went in to get it today." Eric replied.  
  
"Is there a point to this story?" He asked, hoping it was one of Eric's shorter yarns.  
  
"I ran into Devlin. Guess what?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You're a Dad man."  
  
"Pardon me?" He pinched the bridge of his nose.  
  
"Devlin had just finished talking to Jack. Sydney had the baby this afternoon."  
  
"What did she have?"   
  
"A little girl." He answered. Vaughn smiled widely. He had a little girl. Briefly he wondered if he could convince Sydney to mold her into the NHL's first female player.  
  
"How much did she weigh? What's her name?" He asked in a hurried albeit hushed whisper.  
  
"I don't know, I couldn't exactly interrogate Devlin. Not unless you want to be the one to explain why you're so interested," he snorted.  
  
"Sydney's okay though?"  
  
"She's fine. I'm sure if she wasn't Devlin would have said something."   
  
"Thanks man."  
  
"Your welcome." He said as they hung up. After a brief second of collecting himself, he walked back into the dining room and sat down.  
  
"Who was it?" Brigitte questioned.  
  
"Eric."  
  
"What did Eric want?"  
  
"He needed to update me on a case," he shrugged.   
  
"You should bring up Eric next time, you haven't brought him in awhile," Brigitte remembered with a smile. "Is everything okay with work?"  
  
"It's fine," he sighed heavily. His depression was even more apparent now that he joined the table again, and only little Maya was oblivious to it.  
  
"Uncle Mikey, want my orange?" She offered sweetly as Vaughn smiled. Maya was a sweet little girl, and he loved her. All she did was make him think of his own daughter. His elation was suddenly guilt. Somewhere out in Los Angeles he had a brand new daughter and he couldn't even see her. Somewhere out there Sydney had just had his baby and he couldn't be there to take care of her. Eventually he believed they could be a family, but the take down of the Alliance wouldn't be soon enough to allow him to participate in the beginning. As a result he was doomed to miss the first precious moments of his daughters life. Wherever they were, he just hoped that one day they'd be able to forgive him.  
  
On the other side of town, Francie and Will quietly slipped into the post partum room. The lights were dimmed and they had suspected she was asleep. They were surprised then to see her look up and smile at them, breastfeeding the infant in her arms. "Hi," Sydney greeted them with a smile.  
  
"Hi," Francie smiled, putting a teddy bear on the night table while Will tied a pink 'It's a Girl' balloon down to a rooms chair. "She's beautiful."  
  
"She is," Sydney agreed. Looking down at the little girl in her arms, she was amazed by the love and emotions bubbling inside of her. The baby had the Bristow forehead and ears, wisps of light brown hair with her Mother's nose, a pouty lower lip and a cleft in her chin.   
  
"That's so adorable," Francie decided, pointing to the little cleft.  
  
"She's gorgeous Syd," Will agreed as she smiled at him.  
  
"What's her name?" Francie asked.  
  
"Wilma? Wilhelmina? Willow?" Will guessed as they all laughed.  
  
Sydney smiled at the little girl in her arms. As much as she had liked the name Emily, Vaughn had expressed dislike at how common it was nowadays. So many of her friend's suggestions had been good, and both she and Vaughn had liked many of the same names. Eventually, however, it became obvious to her that it was only right to name the baby after the two most important people in her life. "Jacqueline Michele."  
  
"Jackie after your Dad!" Francie realized with a smile. "It's beautiful Syd, it fits her perfectly too," she smiled. "What's Michele for?"  
  
"Michael was Danny's middle name," Will whispered. Sydney looked up from her daughter, hoping she didn't look as surprised as she felt. Although that hadn't been her intention, the name served an even greater purpose now that she knew that. After a few seconds of smiling down at her daughter, she looked back at her friends.  
  
"Thank you guys for staying."  
  
"We promised we would." Francie reminded her. "I'm so happy for you."  
  
"We're so proud of you too," Will added.   
  
"I bet your glad you wore your favorite nightgown now," Francie smiled.  
  
"Yeah . . But it's ruined now," Sydney thought sadly as she looked down at the nightgown.  
  
"I'll buy you a new one," Francie promised.   
  
"When are they going to keep you until?" Will asked.  
  
"They're going to release me Tuesday afternoon."  
  
"Well I'll stop by the house and make sure you have enough diapers, bottles and wipes so you'll be all set," Francie offered.  
  
"Thank you," she smiled.  
  
"We should go, it's getting late and you need your sleep. We'll come by later tomorrow," she promised. Carefully she hugged Sydney before she kissed her goddaughters cheek. "Aunt Francie loves you sweetie," she cooed before walking out of the room.  
  
"I'm proud of you Syd, and happy for you too," Will promised.  
  
"Thank you. Please thank Jennie for me too."  
  
"I will," he agreed, kissing her cheek. Then his eyes turned to his goddaughter. "I love you too kiddo, even if you were supposed to be a boy."   
  
She laughed as she smiled at her friend. "Bye Will." She whispered as he walked out of the room.   
  
Sydney looked down at her daughter, alone with her for the first time. Her eyes, which were the newborn shade of blue, were already starting to turn emerald like her Fathers. The cleft in her chin made her smile, thinking of the man she had inherited it from. "I love you so much," she whispered and yawned, laughing as the baby yawned in return. "It's just going to be us for a little while sweetie, but we'll be okay," she vowed. "Your Daddy loves you so much too," she promised. "Wherever he is."  
  
  
  
  
Vaughn walked into work in a daze Monday morning. The last night he hadn't slept, wanting to call Our Lady of Mercy and find out everything he could, but he couldn't do that. It was too dangerous to even risk blowing Sydney's cover, especially now that they had a daughter and the Alliance was on the brink of it's final demolition. Even after Weiss' phone call he had been left wondering how Sydney was doing, how his daughter was doing . . What she looked like . . How much she weighed . . . Sitting at his desk daydreaming about the possibilities, his secretary knocked, causing him to nearly burn his hand with coffee.  
  
"Mr. Vaughn, Mr. Devlin and Mr. Bristow would like to see you."   
  
Vaughn stood and nodded. Fixing his tie and jacket as he walked the halls, he prayed that this wasn't bad news. This 'joyous occasion' had already done enough damage to his nerves. Deep down he was excited, thrilled, joyous, but with so little he could do or say it was hard to be too thrilled.   
  
Walking in, he found both Jack and Devlin, neither face was terribly sullen. Taking that as a good sign, he took a seat and looked at the older men expectantly. "Agent Bristow will be out of commission the next few weeks. We thought as her handler you had the right to know." Devlin said. Meeting Jack's gaze, Vaughn hoped he could express all of his gratitude with a single glance.  
  
"Here," Jack handed him a manila folder. Opening it, he found a few hospital forms and a picture fell into his lap. Quickly he scanned the paper, finding the information he sought for. His daughter had been eight pounds and twenty inches long, and she had been named Jacqueline Michele.  
  
At the sight of the name he had to force himself not to smile like a goofball. Sydney had surprised them all, naming their daughter after her Father and himself. Picking up the picture that had fallen into his lap, he allowed himself to smile. It was a newborn hospital photo of Jacqueline. She was beautiful, and with the exception of her cleft she looked very much like a Bristow.  
  
"Jack, congratulations," he said in what he hoped was a professional manner, putting the picture back in the folder and handing it to Sydney's Father.  
  
"Agent Bristow intends to be back to SD-6 by the raid, but either way you're still working on the case," Devlin informed him.   
  
"Is Agent Bristow okay?" He asked, surprised to hear himself call her that.   
  
"She's recovering nicely," Jack spoke up. "She'll be at Our Lady of Mercy until sometime tomorrow, but then she should be discharged barring any unexpected complications."  
  
Vaughn nodded, hoping he appeared to have only a passing interest. "You may return to your office Mr. Vaughn, we just thought it necessary to update you on Agent Bristow's status," Devlin explained. He stood and nodded, thanking them once again before he walked back to his office.  
  
Early in the afternoon, Weiss walked in, playing with his yo-yo. "The yo-yo's sleeping, so we need to be quiet," he explained as he sat down across from his friend. "So what's up with Bristow?"  
  
"I don't know," he shrugged.  
  
"Please, I saw Jack in here earlier and then someone saw you walk in to Devlin's office. This whole office is talking about it."  
  
"Don't they have anyone else to spread fallacies about?" He muttered.  
  
"Seriously man, what's up with Bristow?"  
  
"Sydney's recuperating fine at Our Lady of Mercy."  
  
"Your baby?"  
  
Finally he allowed himself to look at his friend and smile. "Eight pounds, 20", Jacqueline Michele."   
  
"Jackie Vaughn, very impressive," Weiss tried it out.  
  
"Jacqueline *Bristow*," Vaughn corrected.   
  
"Po-tae-to, po-tat-toe, same thing in the end. How are you holding up?"  
  
"I'm fine," he said stoically. The truth was he wanted to drive across town to Our Lady of Mercy, screw protocol, and sit with Sydney and his daughter eating green jelly and watching hospital television until she was discharged. At least he had seen a picture of her, but he knew from pictures of Sydney that photos did not do Bristow women justice.  
  
"How was your Mom?"  
  
"Fine," he shrugged. "We had chicken cordon bleu this weekend. She told me to invite you next time."  
  
"Then invite me next time," Weiss shrugged. "How's your sis doing?"  
  
"Getting bigger and crankier." He explained as both men laughed. "Must be because she's having a boy, with Maya she was a lot more pleasant."  
  
"Or that she's pregnant plus taking care of a two year old."  
  
"That could be it." He agreed.   
  
"You'll see her soon," Weiss reassured him with a surprising sincerity. Vaughn looked at him, surprised at how kind his friend was being. "You will. My money's on Wednesday morning, at the latest."  
  
He laughed and smiled. "Given the circumstances, I hope that's a bet you win."  
  
Late Monday evening, towards the end of visiting hours, Arvin and Emily Sloane came in for a visit. Emily glowed as she stepped into the room, carrying a wrapped box. "You look wonderful dear," Emily gently insisted, hugging the girl.  
  
"Jacqueline is a beautiful baby," Sloane said as Sydney handed her daughter to Emily, praying that the infant wouldn't he held by her boss.  
  
"Yes . . She looks quite a deal like you," Emily noted, sitting down in the chair as Jackie slept in her arms. "Please, open the gift," she insisted.  
  
"It was so sweet of you to get me something," Sydney smiled as she pulled off the wrapping paper. Opening the plain cardboard box she found inside, she pulled out a beautiful classic Winnie the Pooh teddy bear.  
  
"Your Father mentioned that the nursery theme is teddy bears, and when Emily saw that she just had to get it," Sloane explained, his smile sending goose bumps up and down her arms.   
  
"You still must be exhausted." Emily realized as she shrugged.  
  
"A little," she conceded, although it was the understatement of the year.   
  
"We'll come visit again when you get settled in with her at the house. We certainly don't want to barge in when you're trying to get settled into a routine," Emily explained. Sydney smiled at how sweet she was and wondered how she had ever fallen in love with such a slime bucket as Arvin Sloane.  
  
A knock from the door drew Sydney's glance off of her daughter. "Come in," she called, surprised when a delivery boy walked in carrying a large bouquet of beautiful lilies.  
  
"Ms. Sydney Bristow?" He asked, looking at her as she nodded. "These are for you." He handed her the flowers. As the boy was turning to leave the room and Sydney searched for a card amid the flowers, her Father walked in.  
  
"Jack," Sloane greeted, shaking hands with the man.  
  
"Arvin, Emily, it's good to see you both."  
  
"You have a beautiful granddaughter Jack," Emily beamed.  
  
"Yes, I do," Jack agreed with surprising sincerity. "Sydney, gifts?" He asked in a light-hearted tone, motioning to the bear and the flowers that his daughter attempted to balance in her lap.  
  
"They bought me the bear, wasn't that sweet of them?" She smiled at her Father took the flowers from her, setting them on the night table.  
  
"Here," Jack found the card and handed it to her. Sydney looked down and briefly nibbled on her lower lip as she opened the card. Biting back a smile, she read the card in the familiar chicken scratch.  
  
  
'From bozo pink hair to pink baby blankets. Aunt Trish wouldn't have guessed it; I wouldn't change any of it'  
  
  
"It's from Jennie, Will's girlfriend," she smiled, hoping that not even her Father picked up on her lie. Jack Bristow would not react well if he knew that Vaughn had sent flowers although only in terms she would understand. The last thing she wanted was for him to be yelled at once again for being reckless and foolish. She had needed this, no matter how dangerous it was, to know that he was with her, even if just in spirit.   
  
"That's sweet," Emily smiled as her husband nodded. Jackie started to fuss in Emily's arms. "I think she's probably hungry," she realized as she handed the baby back to the younger woman. "We'll leave you alone to feed her. You get some rest sweetheart."   
  
"Yes, Sydney, get some rest." Arvin agreed as her Father followed them out of the room.  
  
Jackie grasped at her Mother, quickly becoming a pro as she started to eat. Sydney sat enthralled with the tiny package in her arms, the tiny face the embodiment of all the feelings she had for one man and all the feelings he had for her. Using her free hand she used her finger to gently trace the baby's soft face. "I'm not sure I know how to do this, but you don't know how to be a baby either, do you?" She remembered Nancy's words with a smile, as Jackie remained passive. "One day you'll think I'm funny. You have a birthday that's very easy to remember. 4-11-04, either way it comes out the same," she pointed out with a smile. "I know, it's not very funny but when you sit here all you have left to do is think," she explained. "I love you very much Jackie, everyone does, your very lucky."   
  
Her daughter pulled back from her food and looked at her Mother, seeming to understand her words. "Maybe that's all we need. We're going to be okay," she promised, pulling the pink knit cap farther down. "I promise we're going to be just fine."  
  
  
  
Tuesday evening Francie and Will arrived to take her home. The car seat was safely installed and the nurse wheeled Sydney out of the hospital as she cradled the baby in her arms. Jackie was sleeping soundly as Will gently took her and buckled her in while Francie helped her get into the back seat, since she insisted she wanted to sit next to her daughter.  
  
"These flowers really are pretty," Will said as he carried them into the house. Sydney carried the infant carrier by the handle while Jackie slept and Francie bought in the bags.  
  
"Yeah, they are."  
  
"Who are they from?" He asked.  
  
"Will, stop being a reporter," Francie scolded.  
  
"No, it's fine," Sydney explained as she put the carrier down on the coffee table. "They're from my friends at work."  
  
"That's sweet," Francie agreed.  
  
"Thanks for moving the swing and cradle in here Will," Sydney said as she took off her jacket and sat on the living room sofa.  
  
"Well, I thought that way it's easier. In here you have the television, you're close to the bathroom and the kitchen. For the first couple of days it might just be easier to crash in here."  
  
"Everything else is in the nursery though," Francie remembered regretfully.  
  
"No, here Sydney, I solved part of that problem," Will said triumphantly. Sydney opened the wrapped package curiously, smiling when she pulled out a portable changing pad and a couple of diapers. "Now everything's at your disposal."  
  
"Thank you, this is wonderful."   
  
"Now the kitchen's all stocked up. You've got juice and cold cuts and peanut butter and jelly. I also got peaches, chocolate *and* Twinkies, so you should be all set. Plenty of milk and I put a cold pitcher of water in there for when you nurse." Francie explained.  
  
"You are both so wonderful, thank you," she slowly stood and hugged them.   
  
"You look so good," Francie smiled as Sydney rolled her eyes.  
  
"I look about four months pregnant, it's disgusting."  
  
"The weight will come off in time." Francie gently insisted. Her friend yawned and took her pillow, cuddling down on the sofa. "We'll leave, okay? Call us when you wake up or if you need something, okay? If you don't feel like talking, don't answer, we'll just leave messages and take a hint," she assured her, pulling the afghan off the back of the sofa and pulled it over her friend. "Get some sleep sweetie," she whispered before kissing a sleeping Jackie. "Syd, do you want me to put Jackie in the cradle?"  
  
"Hmm," she mumbled, already getting comfortable and drifting into sleep. "Do you mind Fran?"  
  
"Nope, not at all." she assured her friend, carefully lifting the infant and putting her into the cradle. Will stood rocking it back and forth for a few seconds until he was assured that Jackie was sound asleep.  
  
"We love you Syd," Will whispered as he and Francie walked out of the house.  
  
Both Mother and Daughter slept for the next two and a half hours. Jackie's cries woke her after the sun had set. The fluorescent lights on her VCR blinked '9:52' as she changed her daughter's diaper, grateful that her friends had thought so far ahead. Without Francie and Will she knew she wouldn't have survived as well as she had. Friendship was about giving without concern for oneself, and her friends did just that.  
  
Nonetheless Sydney found herself carrying Jackie into the nursery. Grabbing a solid blue sleeper with feet that was covered with bright yellow ducks and walked back to her own room. Setting her daughter on the bed, she quickly changed into a fresh t-shirt and sweatpants and walked over to the bed. Jackie lay on the bed between her Mother's legs while her Mother changed her into the sleeper. Pulling back, Sydney was thrilled at how adorable she looked, and liked that her feet were already nice and warm in the stretchy sleeper.   
  
Suddenly her eyes drifted back to the phone. The clock read after ten at night and she knew logically she shouldn't call anyone, especially not him. Not only did he have work the next morning, but also it wasn't fair to risk his life because she had the selfish desire to see him . . Was it? Either way, she reached out and picked up the phone, dialing the numbers she knew by heart.   
  
Half an hour later Sydney held on to the carrier and had the diaper bag thrown over her shoulder as she walked into the warehouse. After tossing a soft pink baseball cap with bears on it on to Jackie's head to keep her warm, she had loaded all of them into the car and drove there. It amazed her how much one tiny newborn needed for a short ride. It would be worth it though - she needed to see him, and she suspected he probably needed to see both of them.  
  
Walking in she smiled as he sat on the pile of boxes, unaware of her presence. Due to the late hour he was dressed only in dark sweatpants, a leather jacket and a 'Hockey is Life' t-shirt. With his hair out of place and his eyes soft from being woken from his sleep, it made her heart melt. Seeing him like that it made it near impossible for her to deny how she felt about him.  
  
Vaughn jumped off the boxes the instant he sensed their presence. Looking over at the entrance of the cage, he looked closely at them. Sydney's hair was pulled back in a French braid and she wore sweatpants. Then in the carrier in her hands was the tiny, beautiful, precious baby girl he had seen in the hospital photo. His earlier assumption had been correct; photos didn't do the Bristow women justice.  
  
"Hi," he greeted after a prolong glance.   
  
"Hey," she nodded and walked closer to him. Carefully she set the carrier down on the plastic chair and looked at him. "Thank you for the flowers."  
  
"How are you feeling?" He responded.  
  
Instead of telling him the truth - tired, bloody, sore - she shrugged. "I'm okay," she insisted. Her gaze gave her away, which was more then enough.  
  
"Jackie?" He asked softly, looking at the sleeping cherub.  
  
"Yeah," she nodded. Slowly she unhooked the carrier and picked up the baby. Vaughn swallowed hard as she approached and put their daughter into his arms.  
  
Jackie's eyes slowly opened and her soft fusses died out as she looked up at him. "Hi," he whispered, starting to bounce her slightly in his arms. "Hi Jackie, I'm your Daddy," he cooed. Sydney sat down, able to sit in the plastic chair for the first time in weeks, and watched. The very sight of him holding their daughter was enough to make her post-pregnancy hormones cry.  
  
"I love you sweetheart, so much," he whispered, kissing her forehead. "You are the most beautiful little girl in the world. You are." He soothed. Looking up at Sydney, he met her eyes, not bothering to hide the tears welling in his eyes. Without words he told her how much he felt for her, how much he felt for both of them, and she smiled widely at him. "She's perfect."  
  
"Yeah," Sydney agreed, her own eyes welling with tears. "She is."   
  
"I like the baseball cap," he grinned as she laughed.   
  
"The sleeper was the first thing I grabbed. I thought it would be a bit too chilly for the Kings onesie."  
  
"It's okay, she'll wear it one day," he agreed, looking down at his daughter as he bounced her gently.   
  
"Everything still on schedule?"   
  
He looked up at her sharply. "Syd, I don't want you worrying about - "  
  
"Vaughn, I'm going to worry about it." She cut him off. "Please, I'd really like to know."   
  
"Everything's still on schedule. I can't tell you when, but we're still on schedule to raid New York City soon."  
  
"Good," she nodded. "How'd you find out?" She questioned softly.  
  
"Officially or unofficially?" He asked, his eyes back on the fussing bundle in his arms.  
  
"Devlin called me into his office yesterday with your Father to update me as your case handler. Weiss had called me the night before to tell me."  
  
"Weiss? How did he find out?"  
  
"His yo-yo," he smiled, his eyebrows rising as she laughed.  
  
"What does his yo-yo have to do with anything?"  
  
"He forgot his yo-yo at work, so he went back Sunday to get it. Devlin had just finished speaking to your Father on the phone and told him."  
  
"A yo-yo," she repeated again in a whisper of disbelief.  
  
"Weiss is as attached to his yo-yo as most people are to their kidneys."   
  
Her laughter delighted him as he continued to gently bounce Jackie. "She looks just like you Syd," he said softly.  
  
"Except for her chin."  
  
He nodded and smiled, "she's been cursed with the Vaughn cleft. Sorry sweetie."  
  
"It's not bad, I like it."   
  
"It's bad when your five and the other kids are trying to convince you that there's going to be a moon landing on your chin." He said as she responded in laughter.  
  
"Please tell me you didn't believe that."  
  
"I was five!" He quietly protested as she shook her head. After sharing another prolonged gaze, he looked away and grew serious. "Do you need anything?"  
  
"No, Francie stocked up the kitchen and Will moved the cradle and the swing into the living room," she explained.   
  
"If you need anything, you'll contact me." He told her. It wasn't a question, it was a statement.   
  
"We're both going to be fine," she reassured him.   
  
"It's late, you shouldn't be here, you should be home resting," he realized regretfully. She sat still, watching in awe as he gently placed Jackie back in the car seat and strapped her in. His eyes met hers in the dark warehouse, all the feelings he held for her unhidden in his gaze. For her it was only a cold comfort knowing he wanted to go home with her as much as she wanted him there.  
  
"Thanks," she said softly as he nodded. He smiled at her as she grabbed the carrier and walked out of the warehouse.  
  
  
*A/N* - I KNOW MicheLLe is the French spelling, but after seventeen years of spelling it MicheLe, I couldn't bring myself to spell it any other way, it just looks wrong to me. Sorry. 


	9. Coming to Terms Chapter 9

Title: Coming to Terms (Chapter 9)  
Author: UConn Fan (Michele)  
E-Mail: LoveUConnBasketball@yahoo.com  
  
Authors Note:   
This is IT! I'm DONE (okay, actually, I'm proud/upset it's done). This is my little bundle - I've been writing this for a LONG time, I'm so proud of myself with sticking to it. I wouldn't have stuck with it if not for the wonderful wonderful people who have reviewed this story from the beginning.   
  
I've already got a name for the sequel - Trying Normal (I hope it hasn't been used before, I can't remember). The title will make sense at the end.   
Expect to see it posted within a few weeks. Feel free to e-mail me at any time about anything.   
CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, and for the record I've been using Spell&Grammar check for awhile so I've been trying to avoid all grammatical errors.   
  
DEDICATION: To all of the readers, whether you've reviewed or not. As for my reviewers, I LOVE you all SO much! You guys have made me so happy by just your few simple thoughts, it means so much to me. Everything, really. Thank you.   
  
DISCLAIMER: If it's recognizable, it's not mine. Technically, I suppose, I own Patrick, Maya, Charlotte, Jennie, Brigitte & the baby, but if you want to use them, go ahead, just let me know! Don't sue, this is just a complete labor of love.  
  
  
  
  
Jackie had fallen asleep in her Father's arms and had slept soundly until she was woken by her Mother to eat or be changed. That night Sydney hadn't had the same luck. Despite how blurred her vision was from exhaustion, she caught very little shuteye that night. A fear of missing a feeding or a cry or that something would happen to her daughter while she slept had gripped her heart. So she watched her daughter sleep, reassured each time she saw the little girls chest rise and fall in tune with her breathing. After she ate, Sydney would walk her back to the nursery, rocking in the glider and studying her. Even her photographic memory didn't seem strong enough to capture everything she was determined to remember.   
  
Wednesday was their first full day at home, and they spent it alone. Late in the morning Sydney finally collapsed under the weight of her own exhaustion, crashing on the sofa for nearly three hours. Jackie's cries woke her when it was time for her lunch and one of Jackie's several meals of the day. She was amazed by how much laundry and how many diapers one tiny infant could go through in one day, and how many pairs of her own underwear she found herself throwing out at the end of their first week home.  
  
Jack arrived early Friday morning, already there when Sydney woke up. When she sat up on the couch, her heart momentarily stopped when she saw that the cradle was empty. Rushing through the house, she slowed down when she heard masculine humming. Walking into the nursery, she found her Father sitting on the glider humming softly as Jackie looked up at him.  
  
"You were sleeping when I arrived, when Jackie started to cry for a change it seemed foolish to wake you." He explained, not bothering to look up at up.  
  
"Thank you," she said sincerely.  
  
"Sydney, why don't you go take a shower and get something to eat?"  
  
"Dad, I'm fine -"  
  
"Sydney," he cut in, his room and gaze left no room for argument. "Jackie and I are doing just fine, aren't we honey?" He asked, his tone surprisingly soft and gentle as he closely studied his namesake. Sydney smiled softly at the pair before she went to her room for a change of clothes.  
  
For the first time in her memory, Sydney allowed her Father to take care of her that day. He had everything surprisingly in order, ordering his daughter to rest and relax. So, she slept on the sofa, her Father waking her when either she or her daughter (or sometimes both) needed to eat. It wasn't until later, when the photos from Jack's camera were developed, did Sydney get to see the bonding they all had that day. He had taken pictures of Sydney asleep with Jackie in her arms, of Jackie's chin on her Mother's shoulder as she made futile attempts to burp the infant, pictures of Jackie in the cradle, the carrier, of Sydney rocking her daughter in the glider. There were close ups of Jackie and Sydney's faces as they slept, pictures of Jackie swaddled up in soft pink blankets, pictures of her in her grandfather's arms. Having the help and someone to take pictures when she was too tired or busy to meant so much, but having the help come from her Father meant everything.  
  
"Mandy's arriving in a few weeks," her Father said over breakfast Saturday morning.  
  
"Mandy?" She blinked, looking up from her scrambled eggs. They were sitting in the living room and her daughter had just had her own breakfast and been rocked to sleep, at least momentarily. "My former nanny, Mandy?"  
  
"Yes, do you know another one?" He asked blankly.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"To assist you in caring for Jackie upon your return to work."   
  
"I thought we weren't going to get a nanny, it was too dangerous -"  
  
"Sydney, do you remember Mandy's whole name?" He asked blankly.  
  
His daughter pondered that for a moment. At six her biggest achievement had been reading 'Chocolate Pox' on her own and memorizing her own address and zip code, never mind learning and remembering her nanny's surname. Shaking her head, she met her Father's gaze.  
  
"Amanda Devlin. She's Ben's niece. She passed a background check thirty years ago, she certainly will now. It won't be for long Sydney, we need to have someone we can trust caring for Jacqueline while we're both at work." Jack explained.  
  
"She's a wonderful nanny," Sydney remembered fondly. "When is Sloane expecting you back?"  
  
"Monday morning," he explained. "Barring any further . . Complications to the Alliance."   
  
She nodded, having understood his underlying meaning. "I want until at least May. I won't return earlier then that."   
  
"No one would expect you to."   
  
"What if Emily invites me over or wants to come visit?"  
  
"Then you graciously accept the invitation. Have you spoken to Will or Francie since you arrived home?"  
  
"No," she sighed. "They're letting me have space to sleep and recover. I'll probably call them tomorrow. Francie will probably want to bring me a cake and make a big deal out of it," she smiled. Tomorrow she'd be thirty years old, and she wasn't sure if that realization made her happy or sad. Either way she would turn another year older and her life would still progress. Considering how doomed everything looked three years ago, she was significantly further in life then she thought she'd be at thirty.  
  
"Enjoy your birthday Sydney, you only turn thirty once."   
  
"It's funny," she laughed softly. "Most people dread turning thirty, I'm just glad I lived long enough to see it."   
  
Jack's grin was sincere as he reassured her, "it's almost over Sydney."  
  
His daughter grew serious as she nodded and returned to her food.  
  
Sydney was finding that no matter how high she put the temperature in the house, she was always cold. The next morning was spent quietly celebrating with her Father. By the early afternoon she was briefly alone again, feeding Jackie and then gently changing her after the baby decided the food hadn't settled too well. Being alone with her, she was amazed by what she spoke about and sang to her daughter about. She'd talk about her own child, the news, television shows, her friends, and she'd sing everything from classic lullabies to a song she'd recently heard on the radio. Either way it kept her daughter amused, and she suspected that talking to her would only do Jackie good in the long run.  
  
Jackie was sleeping in the cradle and her Mother was cuddled up under the blankets when the doorbell rang in the early afternoon. Sydney through back the throw and smiled, having expected her friends to make their arrival at any moment. Once she checked to make sure who it was (there was no such thing as too cautious), she opened the door and smiled at her friends.   
  
"Hi!" She smiled, hugging the four of them as they walked in.  
  
"Happy birthday Syd," they said as they walked into the house.  
  
"Is now a bad time?" Jennie asked softly, eyeing the cradle.  
  
"Nah, now's fine, she's sleeping. I think she could probably sleep through an earthquake."   
  
"This is California, she may have to one day," Will joked. Meanwhile his girlfriend walked over to the cradle and smiled down at the infant.  
  
"She's even cuter then she was in the hospital." Jennie declared as Francie joined her.  
  
"When's her umbilical cord supposed to fall off?" Francie asked in obvious concern for her goddaughter.  
  
"Not for a little bit longer. She goes to her one week check up on Monday, but I'm not anticipating any problems."   
  
"How are you feeling?" Charlie asked, setting a pink cardboard box - what Sydney assumed was a birthday cake - on the coffee table.  
  
"I'm okay," she insisted, sitting back down and pulling the afghan up again.  
  
"We didn't think you'd be in a big party mode," Jennie explained as they all started to sit down.  
  
"So we brought movies instead," Francie concluded.  
  
"We also brought paper plates and plastic utensils, so we don't leave you anything to wash." Will added.  
  
"Thank you guys, that's so sweet," she smiled. Charlie opened the box and allowed her a look at the cake. "It's beautiful, thank you." It was a beautiful cake, with purple roses made from frosting and 'Happy 30th Birthday Sydney!' in matching purple script. "Looks delicious."  
  
"How's she been sleeping?" Jennie asked as Charlie started cutting the cake.  
  
"Fine," she shrugged. "She's feeding a few times during the night, and she's up a few times changing." She explained, and thanked Charlie for the cake he handed her. "My Dad's been over a lot to help too."  
  
"Good," Francie agreed. "Your Dad was so happy at the hospital Syd."   
  
"He was actually emotional, I thought for a second he was going to cry," Will added. "Which, if he had, I think the world would have stopped." He muttered.  
  
"Will!" his girlfriend scolded.  
  
"My Dad's been over here nearly every day, it's actually sort of surprising," she confessed, taking another bite of her cake. "Mandy's coming out in a few weeks."  
  
"Mandy? Your old nanny?" Francie recalled.  
  
"Same one."  
  
"Syd, I thought you weren't going to get a nanny," Will reminded her.  
  
"I'm not. It's only for a few weeks . . Until my Dad and I can get our schedules at work sorted out and one of us can always be with Jackie." She hurried with an explanation. Sydney couldn't exactly tell them that it was only until the Alliance collapsed, that would open an entirely new can of worms that she'd just assume leave shut.  
  
"I can watch her some mornings," Francie spoke up.  
  
"I'm sure there will be some days where I can do work from home, I can watch her for you too. I love babies," Jennie grinned.   
  
"Do you need a ride to the doctor's Monday?" Francie offered.  
  
"No, I think I should be okay," she reassured them.  
  
"If you change your mind, call, one of us will take you." Her best friend promised.  
  
"Thank you," she smiled.  
  
"How about we watch some movies now?" Will suggested as Francie grabbed the bag from the video store and stuffed one into the VCR.  
  
That was one of Sydney's best birthdays to date. They stayed late into the evening, watching Moulin Rouge. Jackie interrupted the movie halfway through to declare that she needed to be fed and changed. Following a brief interlude, she was settled into her Aunt Francie's arms, cuddled up and half asleep as they finished watching the movie. The movie ended and her friends picked up the kitchen, wrapping up the remainder of the cake and putting it into the refrigerator. After a myriad of hugs and reminders to Sydney to call if she needs anything, they parted ways.  
  
Sunday afternoon she got in the car and drove the short, familiar distance to the cemetery. Carefully lifting the carrier out of the holder, she walked through the headstones in the appropriate direction. Somewhere in the middle of the night, while learning that late night television as bad and late night radio even worse, she had decided this was a good idea. More then that, she had decided this was necessary, for her soul and maybe even his.  
  
She set the carrier on the soft earth and placed the bouquet of flowers next to it. Jackie continued to sleep, her face resting against her shoulder as a baseball cap protected her from the sun that shone down on both of them. With a cautious glance over her shoulder, she slowly squatted down, her back already sore. Using a precise eye, she pulled the weeds away from the headstone and then set the flowers against the cool gray granite. After a heavy sigh, she brought the carrier closer and started to speak.  
  
"Danny . . This is Jackie," she softly explained. "I know wherever you are you're watching over her . . Over us . . . Remember that lawyer I told you about? The one from Charlie's firm? Her name's Jennie, she and Will are very happy together. Francie wants them to get married. They're cute together . . . I'm sorry," she whispered, rapidly blinking as her tears started. "I'm so sorry that Jackie isn't yours . . . Isn't ours . . ." she swallowed hard. "I don't regret her, and her Father . . . You would have liked him," she laughed at how absurd it all sounded. "I'm sorry that this didn't turn out how we planned . . . . I'm happy though, and I'm not sorry I'm happy, because I know you'd want me to be happy. You would have wanted me to be happy, to have some normalcy, even if it's without you . . . I love you Danny, and that will never change," she vowed.   
  
"Things with my Dad are getting better," she smiled, knowing he would appreciate that wherever he was. "I wanted to thank you," she explained, wiping away her tears. "Without you I'm not sure I would have ever realized that I wanted to be normal, that I wanted to have a house and a husband and a family, no matter how impossible it seemed at the time . . . I'm still so sorry I couldn't give you the life you wanted, that you didn't get the life you wanted . . . I wanted you to see Jackie. I'm not always sure I believe in a God, but I believe that you protected her, protected both of us, throughout my pregnancy. Thank you," she said softly.   
  
Sydney stayed there for a few moments, studying the headstone and feeling the sun beat down on her. There was more she wanted to tell him, how she was so close to redeeming his loss, how by doing so the world would inevitably be a safer place. There was a hope in her heart that he already knew that, that wherever he was he saw her and was proud of her, happy for her. Danny had been the sweetest man she had ever known, and it wasn't hard to imagine those things. Grasping on to the headstone, she stood up, her back instantly regretting that she had ever bent down. Picking up the carrier, she whispered that she loved him and walked away.  
  
  
  
Doctors had never been Sydney's favorite people, but seeing her daughter screaming in the pediatricians face made it far worse. In her opinion the pediatrician was a reasonable, pleasant woman. Jackie had gained eight ounces in the first week of her life, a good amount, and they discussed sleeping habits (Jackie's, not Sydney's, although Sydney thought it might be more useful to discuss her own sleeping habits). The umbilical cord was healing well, and the doctor explained that it should fall off soon. Once it did, she was given the go-ahead to start bathing her once a week. The doctor explained that until she started to crawl it would be enough to simply wash her face and hands once a day.  
  
Looking at Jackie, half asleep in her car seat on the way home, Sydney wondered if her daughter missed her Father as much as she did.  
  
Tuesday night, between her seven p.m. and eleven p.m. feedings, Jackie's umbilical cord fell off, revealing her belly button for the first time. A silly surge of pride ran through Sydney's veins at the sight of it. It had fallen off and there didn't appear to be any infection or bleeding, just an innie where the remainder of the cord had been.  
  
Wednesday afternoon the soothing sound of Sarah McLachlan floated into the bathroom from the living room radio. Cautiously Sydney slid into the tub, carrying Jackie in her arms. Sydney bit her lip anxiously, instantly relieved when Jackie slid into the water without screaming. Soaping up the washcloth, she hummed along with the music as she started to wash her daughter. Using her dry hand and arm she balanced the baby, continuing to smile and hum as she bathed her. Her daughter apparently found baths just as relaxing as she did, and quietly let her Mother bathe her.  
  
Gently massaging baby shampoo onto Jackie's scalp, she swore as the phone rang. Cupping water in her hand, she washed the shampoo away and reached across the side of the tub to pick up the cordless phone. Remembering to be pleasant, she hit 'Phone' and balanced it between her ear and shoulder, praying it wouldn't drop in to the tub.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Sears Auto Center?" A familiar male asked. Sydney's distain and annoying briefly floated away.  
  
"Wrong number," she replied and hung up. Placing the phone back down, she smiled at Jackie. "Okay sweetie, bath time's over for now," she explained. Standing with her daughter in her arms, she stepped out of the tub and rested her daughter in a hooded towel. Swaddling the blanket around the baby, she slipped on her own robe and started down the hallway to get changed.  
  
That Wednesday was warm, even by California standards, and she took the opportunity to dress her daughter in the Kings onesie. Throwing on her own pants and t-shirt, she quickly braided her hair and put a cap on her daughter's head before they walked out the door. Buckling the carrier carefully into the car, she got in the drivers seat and started in the appropriate direction.  
  
Upon her arrival to the Sears Auto Center, she decided she needed her oil changed and it was as good of a time as any. When she walked into the waiting room, it was empty, although far nicer then she had expected. There were a dozen or so chairs, a soda and snack machine, magazines, a television and even free coffee. Although the room was empty, she walked to the back of the room and sat down. Then she placed the carrier in the seat next to her as she picked up a magazine, killing time as she flipped through the pages.   
  
Vaughn arrived ten minutes after she did, walking in and taking a seat across from her. For the first couple of seconds she continued to look through the magazine and then glanced quickly at him. She took in his suit and wondered if he was there on an official capacity or needed his oil changed during his lunch break. Either way she didn't care, she was relieved to see him.  
  
"Next Tuesday, New York City," he said. Sydney looked up and nodded, having fully understood his meaning. Next Tuesday would have been her due date, although she had no qualms about having Jackie already by her side. The sooner she went back to work, the sooner this would all be over. "She's smiling," he whispered in awe.  
  
Looking at Jackie, Sydney smiled and nodded, not having the heart to tell him it was a gas-induced smile and had nothing to do with her recognizing him - or either of them at that point. "She's gained eight ounces."   
  
"I like her outfit," he smirked as she laughed. Deciding that the room was briefly safe, she met his eyes and smiled. "We're safe here," he promised her in a serious tone.  
  
"We are?"  
  
"Would you believe Sears is one of our front companies?" He asked with a straight face.  
  
"Really?" She whispered in surprise.  
  
"No," he laughed. "But it could be." He shrugged as they both shared a quiet laugh. She nodded and looked away, back down at her magazine. "Syd, are you okay?" He asked quietly with obvious concern.  
  
"Yeah, why?" She shrugged.  
  
"You're sweating." He noted. Bringing her hand up, she wiped away the sweat that had collected on her forehead.   
  
"Hormones," she explained as he nodded. "How's Charlotte?"  
  
"She's getting there," he told her. "Do you need anything?"   
  
"I'm fine," she promised. Vaughn nodded and accepted her answer.   
  
"My cars almost ready," he realized, glancing out the window to the repair station. After he sat looking at them for a few more seconds, he forced himself to stand up, remembering that this would be over in a month. Halfway to the door, he stopped briefly to look over his shoulder. "Hey Syd?" He called as she looked up. "Happy birthday." She smiled widely at him as he turned around and forced himself to walk out of the room.  
  
Sydney's friends came over; they brought dinner and sat around watching television with her. While they were there they changed Jackie for the night, giving Sydney a slight break. They spoke about the restaurant, about Will's newest column, and Jennie's new case at work. For her credit, Jackie seemed to either love or just not notice the company, falling asleep in any of her friend's arms while the five of them sat around quietly talking and laughing.  
  
Saturday afternoon Dixon, Diane and their daughter came over for a visit. It was the first time she had seen her partner in a few weeks, and it was a nice visit. Diane had plenty of helpful advice on how she could juggle the baby when she went back to work; and nine year old Deirdre loved holding Jackie. They brought Jackie a teddy bear and Sydney a nice and soft new set of sweats to parade around the house in. If that wasn't enough, Diane also brought her an already made casserole that she could warm up whenever necessary. Their generosity and care floored her, and after they left she once again found herself hoping that when the Alliance collapsed Dixon could find a job at the CIA.   
  
Tuesday evening she was rocking Jackie in the nursery when her Father arrived with dinner. Letting him into the house, she put her daughter to sleep in the cradle and turned towards her Father. "This morning the Alliances cell in New York City was officially destroyed," Jack told her, handing her dinner.  
  
"What does Sloane have to say?"  
  
"Nothing pleasant," Jack muttered. "Dixon is currently on a plane to New York. The CIA has already planted all of the necessary information for him to uncover." He explained. "Mandy is arriving Sunday afternoon."  
  
"Good, because I'm returning to work Monday."   
  
The look he shot her would surely have killed a less experienced or weaker person. "Sydney, I'm not entirely sure -"  
  
"Dad," she stopped him. "I'm returning to work on Monday. I can't walk in the day before the CIA raids the office. It's too soon for Sloane to send me on a mission, especially since Dixon's already handling all reconnaissance." She reminded him. "Today would have been my due date."  
  
"Yes," Jack nodded and looked at the cradle. "How is Jacqueline doing?"   
  
"She's fine," Sydney shrugged. "Tomorrow we're going to attempt her second bath, we'll see how it goes."   
  
"You always loved bath time," he smiled at the memory. "You would scream when we tried to take you out."   
  
"She seems to like it," she explained. "If the weather is nice this weekend I'm going to take her out in the pram. I'm starting to get sick of the apartment."  
  
"Don't push yourself too far," he warned her.  
  
"I won't. A walk to the park and back would do us both good." She declared. "I'll take all the necessary precautions."  
  
"Yes, I trust that you will." Jack muttered.   
  
From her corner of the room, Jackie began to cry. "She probably needs a change," Sydney mumbled as she started to stand up.  
  
"Don't," her Father held up a hand to stop her. Instead he stood and walked over to the cradle. Getting comfortable on the sofa she watched her Father pick up Jackie. The little girl rested on her Grandfather's front arm, her head in the cradle of his hand and her feet tucked in by his elbow. Quietly talking to the little girl, he bounced her gently as he walked her in the direction of the nursery. The gentleness her Father exhibited towards her daughter was far more then she had ever anticipated, and allowed a small glimpse into the rarely seen side of her Father.  
  
A sunny, warm California weekend arrived quickly. Jack had spent the remainder of the weekend in conference calls with Sloane and the head of the Alliances London cell, SD-1. On Friday evening he literally had had to drag Sloane out of his office and back to his own home for the weekend, having reminded Arvin that the unknown organization had not struck once on a weekend and there was no reason to believe his M.O. had suddenly changed. Arvin had agreed and promised Jack he would spend the weekend relaxing with Emily.   
  
The black pram they had retrieved from storage months earlier moved smoother then Sydney had anticipated. Saturday afternoon she dressed her daughter in a lightweight onesie and placed her in the pram. After wrapping the little girl in a lightweight blanket, she grabbed the diaper bag and they started to walk. Walking, her muscles began to work and Sydney started to feel better. While she was nearly three weeks post-delivery she was still experiencing back aches, fatigue, severe sweating and when she looked in the mirror earlier in the day she had been disgusted by her bloodshot eyes. All of those symptoms were normal, as all the books and doctors had informed her. The warm sun and the casual walk went a long way to helping her feel better.  
  
Having remembered her Father's advice not to push it, she sat down on the park bench to rest. Much to her relief, after a few minutes of waiting, she saw Vaughn approaching in loose pants and a t-shirt, jogging with a dog. She forced herself to look away and watch Jackie. After a few seconds, he sat down on the bench a short distance from her and the small bulldog, whom she assumed to be Donovan, briefly sniffed her before sitting on the grass between the two agents.  
  
"By the time your Father goes into work Monday, London will be gone," he informed her.  
  
"Good," she nodded. "I'm going back to work Monday too."  
  
"What?" He asked, having barely enough time to stop himself from looking at her. "It's only been -"  
  
"I need to go back." She cut him off. "I have to. The sooner I go back, the sooner it's all over."   
  
Vaughn nodded and dared to look into the pram at the sleeping little girl he loved so much. "If it's what you want," he conceded. That was one of his shortcomings in life; if Sydney Bristow wanted it there were very few things he would say no to. He'd even broken in to the Vatican with her, and his Uncle was a Catholic priest.  
  
"Mandy arrives tomorrow, she's going to help Dad and I . . . Until things end . ." She explained, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye. "How's Charlotte?"  
  
"Cranky. With Maya she delivered ten days before her due date. I think she's ready to pounce on her doctor. Or divorce Patrick for ever touching her," he added as she laughed. "So, where'd you get the carriage?"  
  
"It was mine. We got it out of storage," she explained. Jackie's fusses broke their quiet conversation. Sydney rose slightly and picked up Jackie, sitting back down and bouncing her slightly in her arms. "Hi sweetie, what's wrong sweetheart," she cooed gently as Vaughn watched out of the corner of his eye.   
  
Looking down he shook his head, feeling his heart break and regret bubble in his soul. There was very little he wouldn't give to be able to openly look at them or to hold Jackie in his arms while Donovan rested at his feet. In an unusual way the four of them sitting there, Sydney pushing Jackie and he walking Donovan, was the sum of all of his dreams of the future. Yet living in that moment caused an excruciating pain to burn through his soul.  
  
"Is there anything I can do?" He asked softly once Jackie had quieted down.   
  
Sydney shook her head, still smiling down at her little girl. "No, I think we're okay, right sweetie?" She dropped a kiss on her daughter's head.  
  
Vaughn nodded and stood. "C'mon Donovan, let's go." He commanded quietly, sneaking a glance at Sydney, who met his eyes for a half a second, before he turned and walked away.  
  
That evening, as Jackie slept in her crib for the first time, Sydney sat in the glider filling out what she could in the baby book. She wrote her daughter's full name, birth weight, length, the time of birth, hospital and the doctor who delivered her. As Sydney filled out the information about her daughter's church, she made a mental note to call and schedule Jackie's baptism. She also taped in the first pictures of Jackie - the hospital photo and a picture of Jackie in her arms that Jack had taken - into the book. After consideration she decided to leave the birth certificate out until she could have it completely filled out. Sydney wrote about the people who had visited them and the gifts they received. Francie had thought ahead and brought in the baby book and had the nurses press Jackie's feet and handprints into the book after she was born. She also retrieved the hospital bracelets and taped them in. After she briefly admired her work, she placed the baby book away and slept in her room for the first time in three weeks.  
  
Jack picked Mandy up from LAX the next afternoon. Sydney was in the living room having finished feeding Jackie when the door opened and they walked in. The woman who entered had obviously aged from the twenty three year old co-ed she had remembered, but only barely. She was still tall, her eyes were still bright blue and she still wore glasses with maroon frames. Her brown hair was in a ponytail, although it had streaks of gray, and the laugh lines on her face were more prominent then they were twenty-four years ago. There was no denying it was Mandy.  
  
"Sydney, you're all grown up!" She teased as the two women hugged.  
  
"So are you!" She joked. "You look so good!"  
  
"So do you sweetheart, especially since you just had a baby!" She smiled fondly.   
  
"Thank you so much for coming out."  
  
"I wouldn't miss this for anything. Am I to assume that's her?" She asked, her eyes moving to the baby asleep in the swing.   
  
"That's my Jackie."  
  
"She looks so much like you did."  
  
"Yeah, she does," Sydney smiled at the compliment. "Please, come in, make yourself at home."  
  
They spent the afternoon reminiscing. That was the first chance she got to see Mandy's engagement ring, and heard of her plans to marry her fiancé at Christmas time. When Jackie awoke she instantly took to her Mother's former caretaker, calming in the woman's arms. Mandy listened to Sydney's stories of school, graduation, her friends. Having Mandy around also gave her an excuse to show off the pictures she had been taking over the past few weeks, displaying Jackie's growth over a short period of time.   
  
Jack was going to pick Mandy up the next morning from Ben's house, where she'd be spending the next few weeks. The two women hugged and parted after dinner, Sydney confident that her daughter would get the best possible care while she was way. With her company gone she was forced to prepare for the next day and what would be her first time away from her daughter.  
  
  
  
Sydney walked into SD-6 with her Father the next morning, her back aching and her eyes blurred from lack of sleep. It had taken nearly a pound of cover up to hide the bags under her eyes and it had been impossible to cover up the bloodshot look still in her eye. Putting down her briefcase, she started to sit down at her desk when Dixon arrived.  
  
"Don't bother Syd, I wish I could say welcome back but it looks like Sloane wants to see us immediately."   
  
"Okay," she nodded, setting down her coat and following him through the familiar office to the conference room. Marshall smiled nervously at her as she sat down and the three of them waited in silence.  
  
After only a few seconds, Jack and Sloane walked into the office. Sydney watched her boss pick up the remote and flick on the monitor. "Sydney, welcome back," he said as she nodded before he turned to look at the rest of them. "Unfortunately, Sydney's return is not on a good note. This morning our London offices were raided and destroyed. The head of our London offices, Jason Rhys, was taken into custody by this unknown organization. As of today, we no longer have any allies; all eleven of them have been destroyed. Dixon, your flight leaves in two hours. Sydney, I mean no disrespect to your qualifications and ability, but I'd prefer if you stayed here. We're going to need your input to come up with a new security plan."  
  
"Of course," she nodded.   
  
"Marshall, I trust you can bring Dixon up to date on the Optec."   
  
"Y-y-yes, sir." Marshall stuttered as his boss stood and retrieved to his office. After a moment Jack spoke to Dixon.  
  
"Your mission will be to retrieve anything from a vault that they had in the conference room behind a portrait of Winston Churchill. You'll also log in to the main system and download everything."   
  
"Of course," Dixon nodded before Jack stood and left the room.  
  
Sydney stayed long enough to hear about Marshall's latest gadget and share a picture of Jackie with the tech whiz. Then she made her way back to her desk, filling out paperwork and forms that had gone undone in her absence. Following lunch she sat in on a meeting with her Father, Sloane and those from security section, listening and adding when necessary to the discussion of how to keep the office safe when they had no allies to turn to.  
  
Returning home that night, she was surprised at how exhausted she was. Mandy had been fabulous though, vacuuming and dusting the living room and preparing dinner all while caring for Jackie. Sydney was relieved to hear that Jackie had taken the bottle full of the milk she had been pumping. Having her daughter back in her arms, however, no matter how exhausted she was, felt wonderful. Even when Jackie spit up all over Sydney's shirt.  
  
Jackie sat in the swing while she warmed up her own dinner and prepared her outfit for the following day. The carrier rested on the bathroom floor while Sydney took a warm shower. After she was changed into her own pajamas she sat in the glider, humming Brahms Lullaby. While she nursed, she noticed for the first time that Jackie's eyes, while they had always held a tint of green, were now without a doubt the same shade of green as her Father's.  
  
Although she spent most of her time at work in meetings, she felt as though she didn't belong. Her eyes would slip to the clock and she'd wonder what Jackie was doing - did she need anything? Did she miss her? No matter how confident she was in Mandy's ability to care for her daughter, the questions still popped up. Plus her body was still going through the stages of recovery, as judged by how shaky her legs would get in heels or how sore her back was in the morning. The only thing that kept her going was walking in the house every night and seeing Vaughn's eyes and crooked (albeit gassy) smile shining back at her compounded with the knowledge that soon enough this would all be over and she would have won.  
  
Weiss walked into Vaughn's office Friday afternoon, playing with his yo-yo as he sat down across from his friend. "You want to get a pizza tonight and watch the Dodgers game?"  
  
"The Dodgers stink," Vaughn replied, not bothering to look up from his paperwork.  
  
"Yeah, well going to Shea Stadium isn't exactly an option," his friend reminded him. "So, how's your family?"  
  
Vaughn looked up, slightly perplexed. "They're fine. My Mother's fine and Charlotte - "  
  
"Not them," Weiss rolled his eyes in disgust. "Bristow and the baby."  
  
"I'm assuming that Agent Bristow is doing well, she returned to work on Monday. I also assume that Jacqueline is fine."  
  
Once again his friend's eyes rolled. "Yeah, okay, seriously, how many times have you seen her since the kid was born, five, six?"  
  
Three, he thought miserably. "I saw Agent Bristow last weekend when she informed me she'd be returning to work this week." He said simply.   
  
"Okay," he friend sighed and sat back. "It's okay. Don't tell me. She'll be free in a few weeks and I intend to have a front rows seat when you two run towards each other like madmen."  
  
Vaughn looked up at his friend and snorted. "What is this, a nineteen fifties grade B movie?"  
  
Weiss shrugged, "I call 'em like I see 'em. So, anyway, what's Brigitte making for dinner this weekend?"  
  
"Honestly, I'm not sure. I'm not even sure we're having dinner this weekend."  
  
"What? Why not?"  
  
"Charlotte's out of the hospital today, so my Mother will probably be at their house helping with the baby and Maya."  
  
"So you have a nephew now! Congratulations man, when did that happen?"  
  
"Wednesday. William Vaughn McGannon, nine pounds twenty two inches and two miserable days overdue."  
  
"Cinco de Mayo, very cool."  
  
"Yeah," he shrugged.   
  
"Did Charlotte like the onesie?"  
  
"What?" He asked, now looking up in full confusion.  
  
"The Kings onesie you bought for your *nephew*?"  
  
"Oh, yeah, it was fine."  
  
"So, pizza and the game tonight or what?"  
  
Vaughn sighed as he closed the file he was working on and stood. "Thanks, but no thanks. I've got plans," he explained, starting to put on his coat.   
  
"Okay," Weiss sighed in frustration as his friend grabbed his briefcase. "Hey, don't do anything I wouldn't do!" He called as Vaughn walked out of the office.  
  
Three hours and a change into jeans and a t-shirt later, Vaughn sat in the warehouse waiting. Sydney walked in wearing leggings, a large t-shirt and tennis shoes. In her hand was the carrier, and to his delight Jackie's eyes were wide open. "Hey," she greeted, setting the carrier down on the chair.   
  
"She's awake," he grinned as she smiled and nodded.  
  
"Yeah. She had a good day. She ate a lot for Mandy and slept well."  
  
Motioning towards the carrier, he asked, "Can I?"  
  
"Go ahead," she smiled and sat down. Jackie started to cry as her Father unbuckled the carrier, but she quieted down as he picked her up.   
  
"Hi honey," he grinned and spoke softly down at her. "How are you? I've missed you so much," he reminded her as he kissed her forehead. "You are getting more and more beautiful. Are you being good for your Mommy?" He asked. Jackie's response was to make a face and start to moan.  
  
"She needs to burp, she hates to burp but if she doesn't she gets all cranky -" Sydney started to explain.  
  
"Sit Syd, I've got it," he reassured her. Quietly she watched as he moved the baby in his arms, resting her chin on his shoulder as he started to gently pat her back and sashay back and forth with her, humming quietly. "C'mon kiddo, give it up," he urged as Sydney laughed. "Jackie, burp for Daddy, please sweetheart," he pleaded, kissing the side of her head as she let out a loud burp. "That's a girl, that's my little girl. See, you'll feel all better," he gently explained as he rubbed her back. "Charlotte had her baby," he said in a normal manner, his eyes on Sydney.  
  
"Really? Did she have a boy?"  
  
"Yep, William Vaughn McGannon. Born Wednesday, he was nine pounds and twenty two inches."  
  
"So Jackie has another cousin," Sydney realized. Vaughn paced with Jackie on his shoulder, and Sydney smiled at her daughter, whose head was half asleep on her Father's shoulder. "I never had any cousins," she remembered softly.  
  
"I did, my Father's sister had three kids, but they all live in Seattle. I never saw them much growing up," he recalled.  
  
"What about your Mom, does she have any brothers or sisters?"  
  
"One, my Uncle, but he's a priest."  
  
"A priest?" She asked with wide eyes. "Your Uncle's a *priest*?"   
  
"Yeah," he chuckled.  
  
"Vaughn, you've broken in to the Vatican," she whispered the reminder as he laughed.  
  
"Tell me about it. I didn't relish having to confess that to him."   
  
Sydney laughed before she grew serious. "Do you want me to wait and baptize her after this is all over? Your Uncle could baptize her." She suggested.  
  
"Do you want to wait?" Vaughn asked, once again meeting her gaze.  
  
"We could. I already asked Will and Francie though, I hope that's not a problem."   
  
"Syd, if you want them to be her godparents, then they'll be her godparents." He shrugged, resting his hand on the top of his daughter's head and holding her close.   
  
"I think I'll wait," she decided. "I'd rather you be there, and your family too . . "   
  
"My Mother mentioned you yesterday."   
  
Sydney's head shot up and her eyes widened in surprise. "Your Mother mentioned *me*?"  
  
"Do you remember how the papers have the little clippings that list the births at a hospital, whether they had a girl or boy, their address, things like that?"  
  
"Yeah, I've seen them," she recalled.  
  
"My Mother must have seen yours in the paper because she told me yesterday that you had had a little girl."   
  
"Oh, what did you say?"  
  
"I don't remember," he shrugged. "Something to the extend of oh, that's nice. Knowing my Mother she might send you a card. If my Mother meets you once she acts like you're her best friend."  
  
"She's a nice woman," Sydney smiled as he grinned.  
  
"Yeah, she is." He agreed. "Did Dixon have any problems in London?"  
  
"If he did he didn't say anything. So far Sloane hasn't mentioned any inconsistencies in what he's brought back, including the information downloaded off the main server."  
  
"Good. It only needs to keep him busy for a few more days." He reminded her.   
  
"I can't believe it's almost over," she said, a small smile of disbelief hinting at her features.  
  
"Either can I," he admitted. "You've done good work Syd, we'd still be years away from this if it wasn't for you."  
  
"Thank you," she smiled. "Will you be part of the team that raids us?" She asked, turning professional as she heard Jackie's quiet snores.  
  
"Yes, I will be," he nodded. Sydney just nodded, although she felt instantly relieved. "We haven't hammered out the procedure yet, but you'll be made aware of what's going on before we enter." He promised. She nodded and watched as he moved Jackie so she rested in his arms, cuddled up next to his chest. "She's so beautiful when she sleeps," he said gently, smiling down at the baby in adoration.   
  
"Yeah, she is." Sydney agreed.   
  
"How are things going with Mandy?"  
  
"Wonderful. She's wonderful; I forgot how good she was. She's never had any children of her own and yet she can manage to clean the house and make dinner all while taking care of Jackie."  
  
"Good," he nodded. "I know this isn't easy Syd, and I can't promise that it's going to get easier, but I do promise that it's almost over." He vowed.  
  
"It's almost over," she quietly echoed.   
  
"You need to get some sleep," he whispered. She nodded, not wanting to leave but knowing she had to. Slowly she stood and started to put on her coat. Meanwhile he dropped a kiss on his daughter's forehead and whispered how much he loved her. Jackie's eyes sprang open with tears and cries the second he put her in the carrier and buckled her in. "Sorry," he whispered in anguish. Although he knew it was impossible, he felt as though his daughter was looking right at him and crying because he had put her down.  
  
"It's okay," Sydney spoke loudly over the cries. "She'll calm down once we're in the car," she tried to reassure him, smiling as she grabbed the carrier. Vaughn was left standing alone, hearing Jackie's screams echo long after they were gone.  
  
Francie and Jennie accompanied Sydney Saturday when she took Jackie for a walk to the park. Francie complained about understaffing while Jennie shared her worries of her upcoming trial. Jackie, however, slept most of the time, even when the three women stopped for a late afternoon lunch. Being out of the house helped Sydney, and at almost four weeks past delivery she was feeling better and better everyday.  
  
Sunday afternoon Will was at the house with Jackie so Sydney could go to the restaurant and have lunch with Francie. Under Jennie's influence and his own sweetness, Will had grown into a nearly expert baby-sitter in the few weeks since Jackie was born, and had long ago forgiven his goddaughter for being a girl instead of his desperately sought after godson. Being out with just Francie was wonderful, and Charlie had thoughtfully prepared her favorite dish to be warm and ready when she arrived. Afterwards the two girls even went to the newest Denzel Washington movie before they returned to Sydney's house.  
  
During a late afternoon debriefing on Monday, Sloane mentioned the possibility of sending Sydney on a mission the following week. Deciding it was pointless to give it much thought or worry, she simply smiled and said she'd be eager to help in any way she could. The beginning half of the week was spent doing what she could do help with the installation of the new system. Marshall had designed it himself, and he proudly declared it was the most advanced system he had ever personally seen and should effectively keep their files safe and secure, accessible only to appropriate personnel.  
  
By Friday there still had been no legitimate reason to see Vaughn. With Sloane more paranoid, it would have been near impossible for Sydney to have shaken a tail in order to see him. Anything that she needed to know about came from her Father, and she knew it was probably for the best. The truth still was that even Jackie, who was finally starting to meet Sydney's gaze and really smile, seemed to be missing his presence.  
  
That final weekend seemed to be the longest of Sydney's life - even longer then the weekend she was in labor and in the hospital after. Saturday morning she had taken Jackie down to the library for their first story time, and then she stopped by Starbucks. After she sat in the park, drinking her decaf Cafe Mocha while her daughter slept soundly. During the evening Francie and Will came over for pizza, Charlie and Jennie were stuck at the office working on a case while the three friends sat watching television and eating pizza. They also laughed when Jackie's eyes followed the pizza and she gurgled whenever it was near. Sydney smiled and thought that perhaps their daughter had taken Joey's Pizza to heart.  
  
Sunday morning Jackie slept in her carrier while her Mother and Grandfather sat in Francie's restaurant having breakfast. Jack was surprisingly calm about what he knew was to happen the following day. He refused to tell her anything, instead telling her that it was best she knew very little until absolutely necessary. Sydney couldn't help but have an odd emotion bubbling in her stomach, relief, and anxiety, even fear. The last thing she wanted to see was gunfire, as much as she wanted Arvin Sloane dead she knew if there was a crossfire it was more likely that one of her unassuming co-workers would go down.  
  
In the evening Sydney took Jackie for another walk, unable to stay in her house. She found if she sat still for too long her thoughts wandered to the following day and all that could go wrong. Until it actually happened she was forcing herself to stay calm. The entire idea was entirely surreal, and she was terrified that she'd get her hopes up and some unforeseeable event would occur and as a result nothing would happen. Instead she took Jackie to the park, carefully steering the pram over the woodchips before she sat listening to the children playing in the park and watched the sun set peacefully over the horizon.  
  
  
  
May 16th was the third Monday of May, and had been marked in her mind from the very first time Vaughn had uttered it. Mandy arrived early on that particular morning, having stopped ahead for a decaf Cafe Mocha for Sydney and bagels for both of them. Jackie was fed a bottle of breast milk while Sydney prepared for the day, forcing herself to go through the motions as though it were any other day. Given her connections, Mandy had already been informed of the day's events and was the soothing hand that guided her through her early morning preparations. Hugging Jackie close, she whispered how much she loved her and showered her daughter with kisses. Forcing herself to hand her daughter over to Mandy, she knew they'd be safe as she grabbed her jacket and briefcase and walked out of the house.  
  
The L.A. traffic seemed horrific that morning. Every other turn there was an accident, or a red light, or construction work. She turned up the radio and remembered the relaxation exercises taught to her in childbirth classes. Was her commute always this difficult, or was she particularly sensitive that morning? She wouldn't bet either way, instead she reached Credit Dauphine five minutes before she was set to start work. She grabbed her briefcase and met her Father in the parking garage, where they exchanged basic pleasantries and rode the elevator down together.  
  
Sloane spent the morning meeting talking about how fantastic Marshall's new security system was, and they all laughed at how it was to difficult to break into that Sloane himself had had trouble accessing it that morning. Then she listened as he explained a possible mission to Geneva later that week, where she and Dixon would retrieve a disk containing all the information that K-Directorate had on Rimbaldi. Sydney made a mental note to remember that, certain that the CIA would want to get that disk.   
  
Dixon asked her how Jackie was and she asked how Diane and Deirdre were before they returned to their respective desks. Sydney was working on some paperwork when the sound of her cell phone ringing sent her skin jumping. "Hello?" She asked while disgusted at how shaky her voice was.  
  
"Hi Syd, sorry, it's me," Mandy said apologetically. "Jackie's having a fit, can you please just talk to her or something?" She pleaded.  
  
"Sure," she sighed. Within seconds she recognized her daughter's breathing no the line as she started to sing Brahms Lullaby to her, relieved that only Dixon heard her. Her partner glanced over his shoulder at her and smiled, recognizing something that only a parent would understand. "I love you sweetie," she whispered, relieved to hear Jackie's screams turn into gurgles and coos.   
  
"Thanks Syd, sorry about that." Mandy said, rejoining the conversation.  
  
"It's okay. Thanks for letting me talk to her. Let me go, I'll talk to you later."  
  
"Okay. Have a good day."   
  
"Thanks," she smiled, slightly more relaxed. "Bye."  
  
"Bye."  
  
Dixon pushed his chair back and leaned in to Sydney. "Jackie okay?"  
  
"She's fine. She was throwing a fit for some reason," she smiled and shrugged.  
  
"Jackie's just a baby Syd, it gets worse." He smiled as she laughed.  
  
"That's what I'm afraid of."   
  
"Diane wanted to know if you wanted to come over for dinner Saturday. She's making lasagna and Deirdre would love to see Jackie again."  
  
Sydney smiled and wondered if the invitation would still exist in a few hours. Then again she hoped he'd be out of custody in by Saturday. She only wanted the best for Dixon and Marshall; they were the closest of her co-workers and two of the sweetest most patriotic men she had ever met. "Let me check with my Dad, but sure, that'd be nice." She agreed.  
  
"Great, Diane will be thrilled." He smiled as he returned to his desk.  
  
Late in the morning she saw her Father and Sloane walking into the latters office. Returning to her computer, she was attempting to log in to her new system, trying to figure out just what Marshall had done, when her phone rang. "Hello?" She answered, hoping that Jackie wasn't giving Mandy too much trouble.  
  
"In one minute all communication outside of the building wired or otherwise, will be cut off. I want you to get under your desk, pretend your getting something; I don't care, just get under there and stay under. All of the agents are aware of where your desk is but I want you safe," Vaughn said in one breath.   
  
Sydney felt her heart stop and she swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry.  
  
"I need you to stay calm, don't move from under your desk until someone gets you. In three minutes we'll be in there. You're going to be okay," he reassured her.  
  
"Okay. Thank you," she said, hoping she sounded professional as she hung up the phone. Dixon looked over his shoulder and smiled at her.  
  
"Everything okay Syd?"  
  
"Yeah, everything's great," she reassured him. "Think I dropped something," she muttered. As she got onto the floor and curled up under her desk, she was instantly glad she had worn her pants that day. Staying there, her body curled up and sore, she felt her heart stop when footsteps echoed into the room.  
  
"CIA! Put your hands up!" Vaughn's familiar voice ordered. She heard the same sentiment repeated several times and some of her coworkers start to protest. Holding her breath, she heard a gunshot go off and her heart skipped a beat. Instantly she wondered if she'd ever see Jackie or her Father or Vaughn again. Then there was the sound of handcuffs being clasped shut and unfamiliar voices echoing the Miranda rights.  
  
When a hand grasped her arm, she nearly fought back until she looked up and saw it was Weiss. Willingly she stood up and felt the cool metal handcuffs snap around her wrists. Somewhere in the back of her mind she heard him reading her Miranda rights, all in an attempt to keep her cover intact. Her eyes looked around at her stunned co-workers and the CIA agents, wearing bulletproof vests and toting semi-automatics. This was almost too peaceful, she thought, until her eyes fell on one of the Credit Dauphine employees bleeding in the back of the room. What really caught her eye, however, was Vaughn walking into Sloane's office. After she pried her eyes away from him, reminding herself that she was still under the guise of working for SD-6, she met her Father's gaze. He remained stoic as an unfamiliar agent led him out of the building.  
  
Weiss grabbed her upper arm and started to lead her out of the building. She kept her mouth shut and her eye cast down as he led her to one of the CIA cars waiting in the parking garage. He put her in the car before he got in front. They had been driving for five minutes before either one of them spoke.  
  
"Once we get to headquarters I'll uncuff you. We don't want to risk blowing your cover and Sloane attempting to get revenge."  
  
"Okay," she agreed, keeping her eyes fixated out the window. L.A. looked exactly as it did that morning, and for some reason that disappointed her. Her entire world was now officially changed, shouldn't the rest of the world be changed too? Deep down she knew the world had changed, while it wasn't visible it was safer.   
  
"How's Jackie?" He asked, as she looked at him, surprised he would ask that.  
  
"She's good," Sydney smiled as she thought of her daughter. "She's getting big."  
  
"Ah, kids, they grow up so fast." He said playfully as she laughed. "Sorry if I was too rough on you."  
  
"It's fine," she said somberly. "You're just doing your job."  
  
"Hey," he said as he met her eyes. "Your allowed to be happy now Syd. You brought down the monster, you won."   
  
"I know," she sighed. "The truth is I don't know how to feel." She confessed.  
  
"Give it some time, let it settle in. Just remember that you deserve this, you did nothing wrong."  
  
Sydney laughed, "do you go to Doctor Barnett on a regular basis?"   
  
"No, but I'm starting to sound like her," he shook in horror.   
  
She rolled her eyes and looked out the car window, the rest of the ride silent.  
  
Although she was in handcuffs, that was the first day since she started as a double that she walked through the CIA's front door. Weiss led her into a room that reminded her of the first CIA room she had been in. Back then her hair had been pink, her mouth had been bloody and she had been as lost as a soul could be. Aside from the teeth and the hair, she wasn't sure how much had actually changed.  
  
The cuffs clinked as he released her. "Ready to write?" Weiss asked, setting down a handful of pens and paper in front of her. "I'll bring you some coffee, but you know the drill."  
  
"Everything and anything I know." She nodded as she sat down.  
  
"Exactly. Mike said you were worried about Dixon and Marshall, so if you want to start with them we can process them quicker," he reminded her. Sydney took a moment to remember that Weiss' friend Mike was her (former?) CIA handler Michael Vaughn.   
  
"Okay. Thank you." She smiled as she turned and started to write.  
  
She had written everything she knew about Dixon and Marshall - underscoring that she felt they were truly patriotic and unaware of what they were truly working for - within the first hour and a half. The next several hours were spent drinking seven cups of decaf coffee (Sydney briefly regretted that she was breastfeeding and thus could not have caffeine), going through ten blue and black Bic pens and a seemingly endless pile of paper.   
  
"Done?" Weiss asked, walking in as she capped the last pen and massaged her sore right hand.  
  
"Yes," she nodded and stood.   
  
"I'll take them -" he started, going to take it from her. He'd already been in earlier and taken what she had written about Dixon and Marshall, and was surprised when she stopped him.  
  
"No. I'd like to take them to Devlin."  
  
Weiss looked at her in obvious surprise. After a moment he nodded. "Take a right, it's the fourth door on your left." He instructed. Sydney nodded and picked up the pile of papers. She walked down the hallway, intermingled between other CIA agents, all faces she didn't recognize but had been working side by side with for years. After a heavy sigh she stepped into Devlin's office, met by a secretary.  
  
"I'd like to see Director Devlin."   
  
The secretary plastered a fake smile and stood. "I'm afraid that's impossible, why don't you-"  
  
"Please tell Director Devlin that Agent Sydney Bristow would like to see him." She commanded. The secretary wrinkled her nose in disgust but sat down and paged into the office. Following a brief conversation, the secretary glared at her and muttered that she could go in. Sydney sighed as she approached the door. She had always known the CIA was the boys club, but she had never suspected the women could be just as cruel.  
  
"Agent Bristow, how can I help you?" Devlin asked, standing slightly to greet her. Sydney plopped the pile of papers unceremoniously on his desk and stepped back.  
  
"That's everything I know." She explained.  
  
"Thank you Agent Bristow -"  
  
"I'm done." She said, her eyebrow rising slightly as she said it. "I have no interest in working for the CIA."   
  
Devlin paused for a moment and nodded. "Perhaps consultation?" He suggested.  
  
"Maybe one day, but not today." She explained.   
  
He nodded again and outstretched his hand to the younger agent. "If you ever change your mind Agent Bristow, we'd be thrilled to have you join us," he said as she shook his hand. "Thank you for all you've done for us."   
  
"Thank you," she replied. After a second, she let go of his hand. Once out of his office, she kept her head held high and marched without interruption out of the building.  
  
"Sydney, your home," Mandy smiled, balancing Jackie in her arms as Sydney walked into the room. The CIA had entered Credit Dauphine around noon and she had spent the last five hours at the CIA. She was exhausted, but smiled when she saw her daughter.  
  
"Hi Jackie, hi sweetie, I've missed you," she spoke softly, kissing her daughter's cheek and pulling her close.  
  
"I was starting to get worried about you. Your friends have called several times, I let the machine answer it."  
  
"Thank you," she smiled gratefully, resting her cheek against her daughter's.   
  
"Am I to assume you have tomorrow off?"  
  
"I have a million tomorrows off," she laughed as Jackie hummed a response. "Maybe you could come over for breakfast or something before you leave."  
  
"I'd love to," she smiled. Briefly she reached out to touch the baby's cheek and then hugged her former charge.  
  
"You get some rest sweetheart, and call me after you get it. Jackie's been fed, all she needs is to be changed for bed and put down."  
  
"Thank you."   
  
"Your welcome," Mandy smiled at them one more time. Then the nanny grabbed her jacket and walked out of the house.  
  
"Do you need to be changed sweetie, huh?" Sydney asked Jackie, who responded by looking back at her Mother in confusion. "Let's get you changed for bed," she decided, starting to hum Brahms Lullaby as she walked down the hall to the nursery.  
  
The sun had long ago set in the sky when she stood in the nursery watching over Jackie. She had changed into sweatpants and her socked feet. After everything that had happened that day, she was more then content to stand there and watch Jackie sleep peacefully. Her thoughts drifted back to her Father . . Dixon . . Marshall . . Emily . . . Before she consider where each of them were, the phone rang.  
  
"Hello?" She asked, hoping it was her Father. When she had entered Devlin's office earlier in the day, she had half expected him to be there.  
  
"Joey's Pizza?" A familiar voice asked.   
  
"Wrong number," she answered as she put down the phone. "Guess we're going for some pizza," she mumbled as she gently picked her daughter up and started to prepare her for a brief trip out of the house.  
  
Sydney walked into the warehouse a short time later, Jackie asleep in the snugli, the baby's ear resting over her own heartbeat. The warehouse suddenly seemed far dimmer then she recognized. Vaughn was waiting in his suit, looking fully professional. "Hey," he greeted softly.   
  
This was new territory for both of them. She was free now, and she had yet to figure out what the reality of that was. "Hi," she answered softly.  
  
"How are you doing?"  
  
"I'm fine," she said. He saw straight through that and she sighed. Lying to him had always been pointless. "I just . . . I don't know what to do now." She admitted with a sigh. Being a spy had been her one and only focus for so long, SD-6 had been her major life goal. Now, it was over, and it was a mixed blessing at best.   
  
The look in her eyes broke his heart when she asked, "What do I do now?" Vaughn's eyes fell on their daughter who slept cuddled up next to her Mother.  
  
"I'm pretty sure she'll keep you busy," he suggested with a hint of a smile.   
  
She laughed and kissed her daughter's head, appreciating the moment of levity. After a second, she once again grew somber. "Can I be normal?"   
  
He shrugged, "what does normal mean anyway? You can be happy though, and that's about as close to normal as anyone can hope for."   
  
~*The End *~ 


End file.
